I fucking hate this Reddit cunt so much. He's so fucking

>>8822463
Glad I'm not the only one. Only guy I know who manages to make cooking tedious and unfun

Fuck off.

>Complaining about how someone boils water

So this is what Autism is like, huh?

>>8822495
>Americans boil their water in the microwave

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>>8822463
Cool story bro

it's like Kelsey Grammer and Beakman's World got together to edutain people about the patrician way of cooking

sorry, not sorry you're a pleb, OP

>>8822463
he tries to do what test kitchen does, make a "perfect dish". i dont like the sound of that. he takes the creative out of cooking

>>8822541
>edutain
Heh

>>8822463

Really? I love Alton Brown from his Good Eats days. Learned a lot and found the show very entertaining.

Maybe you're just a stupid cunt, op, have you considered that possibility?

>>8822495
My grandmother had autism, she died in the war

>>8822544
You must be dumb as fuck.
By learning the techniques, methods etc, and the reason for using each technique or method you can apply them in your cooking to create the textures and flavours you require.
Without knowing why you're doing what you're doing you might as well just follow a recipe book.

>>8822513
who are these semen demons

Agreed. He's turned an entire generation of latchkey kids into opinionated jerkoffs with this I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE edutainment crap. People who never did and never should have cared about cooking now get to be "into food" because the television happened to be tuned to a clown who catered to their ADHD long enough to get them to think maybe they can put something on a pan and not die. Now they're polluting the internet with their strong, stupid opinions about steak and cast iron

I get it, you know what "maillards" means and you love the smell of your own farts, now shut the fuck up

>hurrrr don't have useful devices in your kitchen

>>8822790
He microwaves water.

>>8822463
His face says "I'm extremely from Seattle"

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>>8822463
His live show is great. Genuine and funny. Moreover...the dude just likes food. I can respect that even though he hates on mushrooms. Most everyone has food quirks, he has his own and wears them on his sleeve to everyone without being a bitch about it.

Plus he's inspired an entire legion of people to man the fuck up and get in the kitchen and cook. I mean he's not my favorite celebrity cook or anything but I don't see why anyone could outright hate the guy.

>>8822463
Good Eats was great before Reddit and 4chan existed.

Please kill yourself

>>8822795
Except when he uses an electric kettle in later episodes and advocates for their use

>>8822463
I liked his whys and wherefores from Good Eats. However, I had to turn it off sometimes because his cutesy attempts at humor were too annoying.

He injects these false Ah's into his heavily prepared monologue to make it seem ad-lib. And ah, it's so fucking annoying once you, ah, know that's what he's, ah, doing.

>>8822817
>I had to turn it off sometimes because his cutesy attempts at humor were too annoying.

He overacts in his attempts to be cute.... like he's compensating for something.

The guy probably slaps that poor kid around as soon as the cameras turn off.

>>8822463
What's wrong with microwaving water?

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>>8822463
Is this another Leaf thread?

>>8822876
Nothing. Microwaves don't suddenly poison water or make it taste different. He just gets triggered simply by hearing the word "microwave"

>>8823103
>He just gets triggered simply by hearing the word "microwave"

Either that or the idea of carefully selecting the proper temperature of water for brewing coffee triggers him.

>>8822463
the secret to a good grilled cheese sandwich is using mayo instead of butter, although I bet charcoal grilling one would be delicious. Its a shame he's such a doucher

I like that he teaches techniques rather than recipes. I can understand disliking his manner, but that's no reason to flame him on an anon board.

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>>8823116
>mayo instead of butter

>>8823116
The secret to the perfect grilled cheese is to take two slices of bread, throw them in the trash because white bread is useless emot carbs and make some real food instead you fucking losers.

>>8822463
>I fucking hate this Reddit
dropped it

get some original criticism if you want to seem intelligent you dumbass

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Alton used to be cool but he became a pretentious faggot around the time he shed all the weight he put on for Feasting on Asphalt. He spends way too much time flaunting his knowledge over actually teaching people how to cook. He even had the gall to claim you needed a dual degree in chemistry and television just to operate a show like Good Eats.

It's kinda sad watching him decay. The man used to eat steak and corn dogs and not give a fuck. Now he spends every waking hour giving too much of a fuck, he doesn't even know how to riff himself anymore.

It makes everyone see him as an ivory tower molecular gastronomic type instead of a human being.

>>8822734
So you hate him because of his fans? That's stupid.

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>>8823246
p typical desu

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>>8822939
all leafs should be range banned tbqh

>>8822710
females

>>8822463
who?

>>8823222
Thank god I don't even have a tv anymore.

>>8822463
OP: lel grilled cheese isn't grilled cheese Amerilards you fry fake cheese XD
>Alton puts real cheese on a real grill
OP: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8822734
>People who never did and never should have cared about cooking
Everyone should care about cooking, you cock-sock.

>>8822796
He's from the South you mong.

>>8823148
It makes the bread crispier in the same amount of cooking time, though it imparts less flavor than butter.

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>>8823157
>grilled cheese can only be made with white bread

>>8823268
>hurr having preferences is le syndrome

It's called don't get trolled moron. Welcome to 4chan.

>>8823148
Think about what mayonnaise is. Egg, oil, vinegar emulsified. You get a nice crisp crust on your bread without having to full-on fry it.

>>8823327
Some prefer to think people are acting in good faith you dumb nigger

>>8822734
Literally everyone should care about cooking, you fuck nut. It's that people don't care about it anymore that's the issue.

>>8823395
people like you are why "foodie" is an insult

>>8822811
I have one. It was a gift for when I moved into my apartment. They're not that bad. I would still prefer a regular kettle but it does the job.

>>8823148
I was skeptical when I first heard about this, but try it senpai, it's amazing

>>8823350
for this purpose would salad dressing work too? (say like miracle whip)

>>8823416
No. Too much sugar. It will burn.

>>8823315
That's not what his face is saying.

>>8823413
Yeah, I've done it and it works. You don't even taste the mayonaise, either.

>>8823405
What are you even talking about? Who fucking cares. Stop wasting your energy on dumb shit.

>>8823423
well I like my grilled cheese burned anyway and don't buy mayonnaise so might give it a try. Worst case scenario is some wasted bread

>>8823435
Well you do you anon. Hope you like it.

>le unitaskers are le badd xDDDD
>Okay, but what about ovens. They only heat things up. By your definition that is a bad tool in the kitchen.
>xDDDD lol r u stoopid?? xDDDDDDD

>>8822500
>heating water in the microwave somehow makes it not water

>>8823394
If you're dumb enough to think anybody on this shithole acts in good faith you're dumb enough to get trolled far too easily. Enjoy getting trolled, retard.

>>8823157
you can make it with whatever bread you want, and Id say Im an above average cook, and can cook a wide variety of dishes, but if you dont like dipping grilled cheese into your tomato soup there's something wrong with you.

Also turn the heat on your element way the fuck down, like 2 or 3, or inbetween low and medium, and let the pan heat up fully before putting the bread on it. I always see people cooking grilled cheese like they're searing a steak and they wonder why it tastes like shit

>>8823205
>dropped
Stopped reading there

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You yanks are dumb as fuck THIS is real grilled cheese.
Made on the grill, not in a fucking frying pan you spastic cunts.

>>8823485
>eats corned beef
>has no corn in it

but it's your stupid language faggot

Why are people so scared of Reddit, usually if you dont like something you just dont talk about it and get over it lool. I see the word reddit about 400 times a day using this website. Ya mad and seethin OP that based Reddit is livin in ya head rent free ya mumblin dumblin doofus noodlehead.

>>8823485

you just got really angry over a piece of bread with cheese

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>>8822463
Your loss.

>>8823488
but corned beef does have corns in it

>>8822463
>he fucking microwaves the water
>being so aspy that you care how energy is transferred to water

good god, fuck off.

>>8823493
Did you know tumblr used to be 4chan's "girlfriend" before SJW's took it over? It used to be a site autismo nerdy girls flocked to before what it is now.

And now 4chan foams at the mouth at its very mention.

>>8823528
It's more to do with not removing dissolved gasses in the water because that changes the flavour.

>>8823536
http://dilmahtea.co.uk/facts-of-tea/facts_of_tea_05_why_should_one_never_reboil_water_when_brewing_tea/#.WPUCkHPRbqA

>>8823536

i would bet you 500 dollars right the fuck now that you could not successfully determine the microwaved versus stove boiled water in twenty six out of fifty trials.

>>8823536

if you boil water, no matter how you get it up to temp, it will off-gas all dissolved gases to their equilibrium state in the exact same way.

Don't be fucking retarded. All gases dissolved in water are tasteless and odorless anyway. What fucking fithy-ass country do you live in where your water is that shit tier?

>>8823550
Why 26?

>>8823553
It's more than half... good god - the retardation.

>>8823553
Cos its more than half dummy, and hes right I probably couldnt.

>>8823557
I'm not that guy you originally replied to, I was just curious. I've never heard that definition before. Don't bully me.

>>8823552
>All gases dissolved in water are tasteless and odorless anyway
Thats why fizzy water tastes just like tap water right?

>>8823540
>http://dilmahtea.co.uk/facts-of-tea/facts_of_tea_05_why_should_one_never_reboil_water_when_brewing_tea/#.WPUCkHPRbqA

ok.. but that just says to only boil water once. it doesn't say what method of heat transfer should be used.

Also, I am not a chemist, and I hate chemistry, but I know enough to tell you that the temperature change in the water will make a larger acidity change in the water than the act of boiling the water will. Also.. this line of thinking would lead one to conclude that you could create a highly basic solution by just boiling water for a long time. That's bullshit. While it may increase the hydrogen ion concentration there is an upper limit without a buffer or other chemicals being present in the water. This change is immeasurable by most pH testing equipment, and I guarantee it is not measurable on a basis of taste. Not before or after tea or coffee is dissolved/steeped.

>>8823567

We're talking about tap water. Do you boil fizzy water for your tea?

>>8823563
>Don't bully me.
Where the fuck do you think you are?

>>8823581
DON'T BULLY ME.

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>>8823581

This is the type of person that doesn't understand that 26 is slightly more than half of 50.

This is a person saying don't bully me on the chan.

This is a person that is vicariously arguing for the "don't boil water in a microwave because it fucks with the dissolved gases and pH" argument.

It doesn't matter who he thinks he is - at best he's a troll. But there is a huge chance that he's just mentally retarded.

>>8823592
We're not the same people.

>>8822463
I used to like him when I was a kid, but none of his recipes are actually any good when you try to make them.

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>>8822463
I hate you pathetic cretins that get all pissy when someone puts effort into cooking.

>REEEEEE HE MADE MAC AND CHEESE THAT WASNT OUT OF A KRAFT BOX, THIS HURTS MY FEEBLE BRAIN

You're going to go far in life I bet lmao, I see why your father left and your mother constantly thinks about overdosing on sleeping pills, kid.

>>8823667
low effort, phoneposter

>>8823596
We're all like, the same, man

>>8823327
>It's called don't get trolled moron. Welcome to 4chan.
You literally came here 3 weeks ago and it shows
fuck off back to r/4chan

>>8822500
>some people don't have kettles

>>8823463
>Stoppe
dro

>>8822500
enjoy that superheated water exploding all over your face
except don't enjoy it
you have to put a nucleation point in the vessel like a toothpick

He goes out of his way to dispel idiotic myths perpetuated by decades of housewife superstitions. He rallies against as-seen-on-tv gimmicks and teaches improvising. He force feeds the american public education on food and basic chemistry against their will in tiny bite-sized pieces.

He's in your face lol-so-random because he made his fucking show at almost forty in 1999.

He is pretentious and cringey at times, especially in our current cultural mindset of cynicism, but for every bit of bad, he has (had? ) as much if not more good.

This is on his wiki, and sums up pretty much all the good. I don't watch TV, so I can't say what abominations he's taken part in recently, but:

"Brown notes that he was very dissatisfied with the quality of cooking shows airing on American television, so he set out to produce his own show. In preparation, he enrolled in the New England Culinary Institute, graduating in 1997.[7][8] Brown says that he was a poor science student in high school and college, but he focused on the subject to understand the underlying processes of cooking. He is outspoken in his shows about his dislike of single-purpose kitchen utensils and equipment ("unitaskers"), such as garlic presses and margarita machines, although he adapts a few traditionally single-purpose devices, such as rice cookers and melon ballers, into multi-purpose tools."

>>8822544
>he takes the creative out of cooking
more like take out the bullshit of it
for instance baking and meat prep; it's presented in traditional french cooking as a sort of bullshit magic unique to the oven you use

But the adoption of sous vide in alot of restaurants that have at least>1 michelin star than most of us ever will is because chefs these days would rather be creative with ingredients and results, not jerry-rigged methods of varying quality, consistency, and effectiveness

>>8822544
>he tries to ... make a "perfect dish"
he doesn't actually do this
the main purpose of his show is, as someone else jokingly said, to "edutain" viewers, which he succeeds at by discussing the scientific aspects of cooking while being goofy about it

>>8823760
>dr
s

>>8823883

>>8822463
I watch him on the weekend on PBS and hate his personality. I don't watch for the show for the host. I watch it for culinary enlightenment and I suggest you do the same. Say what you want but he can cook.

>>8823827
>But the adoption of sous vide in alot of restaurants that have at least>1 michelin star

This is meme lore. Most michelin star restaurant chefs laugh at boiling food in a bag. Grant Asshats is an exception, but I think we can all agree that that degenerate tongue cancered faggot doesn't deserve any of his stars anyway.

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>>8823814
He's a professional tv producer who wants to make as much money as possible before people realise that he's a complete and utter charlatan.
Every recipe or technique he's demonstrated was developed by a professional chef that he hired for that particular episode.
Wake up you fucking sheep, this man knows nothing of culinary arts and everything of mass entertainment.
>pic related, my dinner: I can't cook for shit.

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>>8823943
Was this also one of yours?
The background is exactly the same.

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>>8822463

AB is the greatest there has ever been and ever will be.

You guys are just jealous that he invented and perfected that scientific food OCD/asperger cook show presentation format.

It rustles jimmies so bad around here because each of you know that if you ever had a shot at being a famous celeb chef, he now already holds the slot that you would have filled. None of you are bobby flays... some of you might be fat enough to be mario batalli - but just about all of you would have to dethrone AB to have a shot on the network.

And look at how easy and versatile his method and presentation is... how many various spin-offs has he been in? They don't need another AB, because the man is magical and can be on 4 shows at the same time - while doing all the promotion and production as well.

Nah, you faggots are mad jelly. I think you can all fuck off.

>>8823943
>Every recipe or technique he's demonstrated was developed by a professional chef that he hired for that particular episode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTg7gIBvhcE

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>>8822463

>>8823994
I consider myself to be a more attractive Guy Fieri rock and roll type of guy who doesn't actually cook but is an expert at McDonalds

>>8823994
>thinking anyone is going to read that wall of text

Lol suck his dick more faggot

>>8823994
Easy there, Alton. You don't have to justify your pathetic routines and smarmy shit humor to /ck/. In between your dumbass slapstick, you taught us well on good eats. After that, you became an insufferable, self promoting jackass that god knows who watches, but it's not /ck/.

>>8824193
>but it's not /ck/.
Unfortunately it is.
This board and 4Chinks as a whole is normie as fuck nowadays.
IRC is king once again.

>>8824196
>IRC
Look at this hipster, I still use AIM

>>8823432
says the guy passionately white knighting his gay evangelical AIDS patient gun nut husbando on 4chan

>>8822561
The great shitpost wars of 2017

>>8822463
Fuck you Good Eats was the best show on food channel. Alton Brown is my hero eat shit

>>8823448
thats retarded and you obviously have no idea what he means by unitasker

an oven can bake or broil many dishes

a avocado scooper and slicer scan scoop and slice avocados and thats it, which can be done with a single knife and spoon

>>8822463
Agreed.
He was only good early on, and only for plebs who could benefit from exact descriptions of why you cook food certain ways. He QUICKLY became an insufferable cuntbag. His dogmas are out of touch, autistic, aged ramblings by a doddering aged jackass.

>>8823485
Isn't that an oven?

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>>8823485
That's a BROILER. Not a grill
Pic related, that's a GRILL.

>>8822557
i like good eats, but any other place i see him he is annoying and stupid and try-hard as fuck

>>8822734
GOD
Looks at this ASSHOLE, how dare he make cooking ACCESSIBLE and FUN at a young age. What kind of PRICK gets people excited about cooking? I know I didn't give this bozo to let people into my super special club of knowing how to apply heat to things!

Fuckin hell dude, you're clearly talking shit about millenials but you seem to be even less mature somehow. I honestly really hope this is your real opinion and you tell people freely so they can make fun of you to your face, I hope they do it for people like me who can't.

>>8822734
Better a generation of jerkoffs than a generation that undercooks chicken.

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he is in many ways the anti Jack

>>8823451
I think you're on the wrong board m8

>>8822463
It's called a "grilled" cheese because it's made on a flat-top commercial cooking surface, aka a grill.
He knows, he just thinks he's being fucking funny, and he's not.

Also, my favorite Alton recipe is his deep-fried turkey. First, you'll need a ladder..

>>8825261
>make cooking accessible and fun
>make cooking fun
>cooking is not fun

Fuck off, if you need a racist methface clown to "make" something fun, maybe you should consider whether you enjoy that thing enough to be doing it, hmm? Like, "oh, let's make cycling accessible by putting an electric motor on a bicycle", and all of a sudden lazy fat fucks are zooming around saying OMG I LOVE CYCLING. Good job fucko, you just ruined a nice thing.

>>8826275
How does new/other people enjoying something ruin it for you?
Are you really that much of a faggot...?

>>8823485
You mean cheese toast faggot?

>>8826348
why pretend to like something just because facebook culture says you should? find a hobby that appeals to you

>>8826493
that's not an answer. You don't have to like cooking to like food. Making the cooking process more appealing or accessible would benefit such people and not affect you in any meaningful way except to trigger your snowflake fee-fees.

>>8822463
>>8826273

even if he wasn't actually funny (I thought it was kind of humorous and an interesting, if not laborious take on the grilled cheese) you're taking this all too seriously. He's an entertainer.

>>8822463
>>8822734

>t. jack and his son

lrn 2 cook fags

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>>8823451
Isn't your mom calling you to dinner?

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>>8823581
>Hurr durr 4Chinz iz le Salty Spittoon of le internetz xDDDD How tuff r u??? xDDDD

It's entertainment you fucktard. Being an autist is his whole act. The only people who don't get that are the ones whose parents allowed them to be vaccinated

>>8826493
Why pretend NOT to like something just because FB culture likes it?

>>8823488
Is it bait if I have to ask myself is this bait?

>>8823528
It's called microwave RADIATION for a reason, anon. Enjoy your cancer.

>>8826505
t.tendies eating alt right who thinks he's Escoffier because he watched 50 seasons of an emaciated cancer victim prance like a monkey for kids who took too much adderall

>>8822734
you should have just dropped "millennial" and been done with it

cooking isn't a typical hobby like games or movies, EVERYONE should get in to cooking and care about it

>>8828441
If everyone started cooking for themselves the restaurant industry would collapse from lack of customers. Is that what you want?

>>8822734
I dunno, I turned out to just have a healthy interest in cooking and was drawn to the show as a kid, but obviously you've seen the more common result of the program's effects first-hand.

>>8825261
>accessible and fun
from the guy that has a deep fried turkey recipe that includes a ladder and a corned beef recipe that includes a water cooler and takes a week so you can corn the beef yourself

>>8823222
This is a tasteful criticism

F
in regards to Old Alton

>>8828472
I did his corned beef thing a couple times. What's wrong with it? Make the brine then pour it in a Ziploc with the meat for two weeks and cook it. It's really easy and delicious.

>>8828489

There's nothing wrong with it, cunts who post 'making dulce de leche from scratch? Who has the time for that?' On recipe sites are the excrement under the boot of progress

>>8823246
It's why I hate MLP

>>8828489
No one has a corned beef recipe less than a week. I've been using Martha Stewart's and she goes 2 weeks. I've been happy with it.

>>8828716
>trusting a convicted felon with your food

>>8828683
You wouldn't happen to be Barneyfag, would you now?

>>8822463
He gives good info on technical cooking, the rest is shitty fluff.

>>8823809
Toothpicks always fall in if the waters not shallow enough so I use silverware.

>>8826275
>Fun and Accessible at a young age
>Accessible to children
>People actually have a problem teaching kids that cooking is easy and fun to do

Jesus, you're seriously fucking autistic aren't you? I can feel your non-ironic REE from here. Like you said, he was aiming at the latchkey kids, trying to raise them on a Mr. Wizard/Bill Nye-esque idea for cooking to try to give the kids a skill in something fundamental without it seeming like a chore. If you seriously have a problem with making cooking accessible to children, you are without exaggeration, probably the biggest asshole in the lives of those around you. Your loved ones and the world overall would be better off without you and your cynical elitist bullshit.

Go make Heston proud and sous vide your head fucknut.

>>8822463
>>8822477
>>8822495
>>8822557
>>8822689
>>8822790

Everyone in this thread fell for the bait.