Okay, so this is happening... A few months ago, I emailed the

>>8754593
Welcome to Lawsuits, bitch.

>>8754602
I don't give one, teeny tiny fuck. I'm not what you'd call a pillar of the community, or anyone that really contributes to the greater good. I don't have a lot going for me, but this is too good of an opportunity to pass up. I've been to jail before. It's not that bad. The small amount of time I'm going to spend in there for doing this is completely worth it.

>>8754602
>>8754611

Plus my wife has instructions to set up a Go Fund Me afterwards. You really don't think people out there are willing to pay to help me out after I level that self-serving asshole?

>>8754619
Ignore that guy.

This is a brilliant idea, and yes, people will give you a fucking ton of money for doing this.

Just make sure bourdain gets a whiff of where to give you money and I guarantee you this will not be something you regret.

>>8754619
I think you're dwelling on this too much. He legitimately has helped bring people into the small businesses featured on the show. If he wasn't a flame shirted douche, the show would've failed a long time ago. Leave him alone. If you slip him a couple bottles of Jack and you frost your hair, you might make the ranks of the Kulinary Krew and travel the country with Guy Fieri. Getting piss drunk and nailing truck stop prostitutes. Which I can almost guarantee is better than what you're doing now.

>>8754633
No he needs punched in the face.
I wouldn't say this is he didn't stick his fingers into all the food and then suck the juices off on TV.

>>8754633
He's also forced numerous businesses to close their doors because they can't handle the influx of people that feel the need to "OMG I ATE THERE AND IT WAS ON TV" to their friends.

But that has no bearing on why I'm doing this. Great, he's doing some things for small business, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to bust him across the chops. Big picture, me knocking him out may be the best thing for all parties involved. I, the fans, and the community at large, get what everyone wants.

He, on the other hand, will get even more coverage and publicity after this. Ratings will go up, and those small businesses will continue to see their new customers.

Make sure you have some other people taping it because the production company is not going to release that video

>>8754649
No one cares if his ratings go up.
People don't even watch TV any more.

He needs punched. For reasons.

>>8754661
Oh yeah, I don't give a damn about his ratings. I'd honestly like to see him flip his Camaro about 5 times without a seatbelt on, but what can ya do?

>>8754652
That's the plan. Wife's going to be filming.

>>8754669
>what can you do
You can punch him about 5 times.
This delivery will be the greatest in years, don't pull your punch.
Also don't reveal your plot to your wife because she'll fuck it up.

>>8754676
Nah, she knows and she's fully onboard with what's going to go down. She's going to feign ignorance about the whole thing so she's not implicated in it, too. She's a pretty good actress when she needs to be. She actually makes me think I'm good in bed.

>>8754669
>Wife's going to be filming
You better have more than just one person, dumb dumb

>>8754684
Please tell me you're posting all this shit from a vpn connection that doesn't keep logs

>>8754684
I could get in line with your wife's ideals.

Everyone knows this guy needs punched. Maybe she's just smart.

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Pls no bully Guy Fierri. He's a good man and I unironically enjoy all of his programs and he does wonderful things for small business and restaurant. Like the other guy said it it weren't for his goofy persona and style the show would have tanked years ago.

>>8754915
Too late for that, hombre. Things are set in motion.

>>8755041
I already sent him an email, prepare to have your ass kicked.

>>8754602
I wouldnt worry, some 4chan geek would get his ass handed to him by fieri

>>8754714
Might look a little suspicious if I show up with my own camera crew, yeah?

>>8755067
>camera crew
Everyone carries a cell phone

>>8754593
Regardless of whether you dislike his persona, sucker punching the guy under the guise of being a super fan is a bitch move. Makes sense though because you sound like a bitch made Internet tough guy

>>8754593
NO FUCKING BALLS! I bet you bitch out like a little pussy.

can someone email this to food network's corporate?

>>8755048
Lol no. That tub of cholesterol wouldn't stand a chance even if he knew it was coming.

>>8755061
Love how you guys are making your hero out to be some sort of accomplished athlete. The dude's claim to fame is stuffing his face with fried trash food.

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>>8755110
>Fieri is the predator

>>8755110
and hell still hand you your ass on a platter, wimp

>>8754593
But think about gunner and hawk fieri

>>8755094
> Acting like this human grease trap deserves even a modicum of respect.

>>8754593
This is the type of guy who keys another man's car. In other words a completely spineless pussy.

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>mfw OP is a tub of shit too and it's a Battle Royale of gasping for air

>>8755119
I already said above that I'm not a good person.

And yes, I'll absolutely key his car if I get the opportunity! Good idea, friend!

nice copy pasta OP, write it yourself?

>>8755127
Don't forget to fill the keyholes with superglue.

Do it, faggot.

/trash/

>>8755127
DONT KEY THAT BEAUTIFUL CAMERO, AS AN /O/ FAG I CANNOT ALLOW THIS. KEY SOMETHING LESS VALUABLE THAN THAT I LOVE THE CAMERO.

>>8755133
use wall insulation spray instead

>>8755156
If you truly loved it, you'd spell it right.

>Camero

You've sentenced it to a long, deep scar. Hope you're happy with yourself.

>>8755164
moving too fast on ophone does things like this, it fucking autocorrects and pisses me off.

>>8754593
Kek I love the rude dude of food but I have no doubt he has done plenty to deserve this

>>8754593
I can't wait for this to happen and then watch Jaboody dubs dub their own version of it.

>>8755177
Your dubs won't save it, either. If the opportunity presents itself, I'm carving my initials into the side.

>>8755199
I guess the only thing left to do is kill myself as i have dishonored the GM Gods.

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>>8755188
He deserves everything OP gives him and more imo

To bad this is a troll thread and op won't deliver. Just same old bullshit

>>8755242
Even if troll its still at least amusing

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What's going on in this thread?

>>8755366
wut

>>8754593
Youre going to throw a weak punch and he's just going to take it.

>>8755366
What the fuck? Jesus, now I'm going to hit him even harder. What a perfectly punchable face. Holy shit. He looks like a tired high school math teacher.

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>>8755395

>>8755366

hairline is too low, makes him look weird

>>8755266
This. It's a total fantasy, but it's funny as fuck.

>>8755431
it only looks weird because he's not very handsome. Look at Taylor laughtner or Joey from friends

>>8754611
Itt: guy justifies seriously fucking his life up for a meme.

>>8755445
Bro, my life isn't great. I'm a personal trainer at a shitty gym. One of the other guys here had a rape conviction. Me sending Guy to catch some Z's at the Flavortown Motel is not going to change my life at all. I'll get locked up for a little bit, but so what? Like I said earlier, I've been to jail before. It's not a big deal.

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>>8754593
please please please buy a gopro

That being said I honestly feel bad for him.

About 2 years ago I went backstage with some whore to talk to Anthony Bordain, and I talked to him about Guy, and he said this "I hate what he's made and what he's done to food network, but it's not like it's his choice. We signed similar contracts, when you're on TV your contract generally states that you're not allowed to change your appearance more than ten percent. He's not allowed to lose weight, he's not allowed to stop dying his hair, he has to keep wearing shorts and button-ups, if he stops what he's doing, he loses all of his money."

Just keep that in mind,

but still nail him for me

Aw, why bother?
Sure, he's a douche, but he's a harmless douche.
Also, I've been to several restaurants he's featured and they're better off for it.
Why waste all that time and energy to be a bigger douche?

>>8754593
I'm guessing you won't deliver but if you do the lulz will be legendary
I have nothing against Fieri, but I wish you good luck on this quest

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>>8755456
>sending Guy to catch some Z's at the Flavortown Motel

Good on you brother.

Please save our dad OP
This food is killing him

>>8754593
I thought this would be some kind of cuck pasta until the final paragraph had me laughing

>>8755113
Fuck this made me laugh harder than it should've

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let me guess op, you think this limp wristed beta cuck is entertaining don't you. guy shits on all food review shows. kys and sage

>>8754593
What day is he coming to town I want to see it happen.

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Don't be a faggot OP, when is this. I wanna come watch

Guy is going to kick your ass, that or his camera crew will. Either way, also you dont have the guts.
Im sure hes a total bro when not doing the show. Go fuck yourself, OP.

>>8756475
I also need to know were so I can eat a burger while the hope leaves his face

>>8754593
just do it

please

get him to hug you and do the afterhug elbow blow.
please.
get some friends to film it, one person's not enough

>no proof posted
>no one asked for screenshot of email
You're all a bunch of spineless fags blindly feeding a weak troll

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>>8754593
10/10 post, anon
My sides fucking exploded

This is the best pasta I've ever seen. If original, kudos OP

>>8754633
>Truck stop prostitues
You mean lot lizards?

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>>8755456
Bring me with you fellow Louisvillian. I have a go pro. Are you meeting him at 4th St?

>>8757206
Not on 4th Street. Not shit worth shit down there.

>>8754593
Then you'll be on film committing assault and battery! That's how you end up in jail with a cuddly new roommate named Tink!

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>>8757579
Right, which is why his restaurant is there across from sport and social club.

>>8757602
It's not going to be at HIS restaurant. It's at a place he's filming a spot for DDD.

I stand by my statement of nothing being worth a shit down there.

I hope he lays you out fagit

>>8755441

except his hairline isn't that low, and did the photoshop the neck? it was purposefully done to make him look bad

>>8757589
Someone hasn't read the thread... I've been to jail. Don't give a lonesome fuck about it.

>>8757701
You homos get real defensive over your food god. Get better taste.

I could see you getting pissed if I said I was going to fuck up Alton Brown or Gordon Ramsay or something, but Jesus, kids. This guy is the worst.

>>8757709

tryin to get your poo pushed again? Weird that your wife is into it too

>>8757798
You're awful hung up on the whole man-on-man thing. I guess that's your fantasy, and to each their own, but.... Hate to bust your bubble, but jail's not like that. Lot of watching tv, lot of playing cards. Really just bored.

I honestly won't do but maybe a week for this. I figure the Go Fund Me will reach my bail within a few days. Another day or so for processing. I'll plead out. I'll get time served and probation.

>>8754627
Bourdain is an even bigger faggot than Fieri.

If it was anyone other than that smug fat piece of shit I'd advise you against it, but fuck that guy. I hope you take him to flavortown OP

This is aggravated assault and I hope based fieri files a restraining order before you can get your baby manlet hands near him

>>8758033
I know when and where he's going to be that day. Good luck stopping me.

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen, OP.

Has anyone tweeted the screencap to Fieri?

>Be Guy Fieri
>Oh man I really love to connect with my fans. These guys seem great and enthusiastic. I'm gonna invite them out to be guests on the show! I really hope they like the filming.
>Show up to set
>Go in for a brohug with my fan
>Get punched in the face
But why? This feels like being a dick for no reason.

>>8754649
>He's also forced numerous businesses to close their doors because they can't handle the influx of people that feel the need to "OMG I ATE THERE AND IT WAS ON TV" to their friends.
Actually is this true? If so links?

I work in hospitality and have worked with many ppl whose met/done projects with him and they all seem to say positive things. Apparently he is super kind and down-to-earth and turns on the character for the show. He is great for restaurants because he actually likes to promote good places, and he has said that he will never put a negative review out there unlike other tv food review shows because he couldnt stand the possibility of causing a place to shut down. I hated the idea of him but ive stopped since hearing about him

>>8754593
>>8754611
>>8754619
i'm screen capping this so that if it does happen i can send it to your local authorities and get your cunt wife arrested right along with your hillbilly faggot ass for conspiracy or what ever thing louisville ky calls it.
you really think it's okay to go around being a violent nigger, nigger?
go fuck yourself.

>>8754593
I hope you get sued into 3rd world poverty.

>>8758366
really i oughta just send it to them now so you can both go for conspiracy instead of you hitting him. i think i'll do that, you violent piece of shit.

>>8758366
>>8758388
>Being this buttpained from pasta

>>8754593
Dumb fuck. Don't know shit.
Fieri grew up in the hood. Fool had a gang. He escaped that life. Needed to make changes.
He was known as "guy'. "That guy just merked a nigga!". Phrases commonly said in his neighborhood.
You'll get your shit kicked in by Fieri.
Nigger has killed people.

I'd ask guy if any of the restaurants gave him food poisoning

>>8754593
He'll beat the shit out of you

>>8758635
I'm pretty sure that "have committed at least one (1) murder or two (2) man-slaughters on seperate occassions or three (3) man-slaughters on the same occassion" is a requirement to have a show on the Food Network.

Lolol this is beautiful

Do it and film it then sell it

>>8759867
Guy will be gassed just watching a punch come at him. I've seen episodes where he gets winded watching someone put together a sandwich.

>>8754593
What a time to be alive,
Cheers OP and best if wishes even though I don't agree that he deserves to get sucker punched.

>>8754593
I see one problem with this

They won't air it.

No one will ever see your moment of glory.

>>8754593
I read this at the doctors and allmost lost my shit. I would pay to see this.
If you end up in jail i would donate money to pay your bail, totally worth it.

>>8754593
If you want to do some larping head over to /x/ or something. Nobody cares about your stupid fantasies until you post the email.

>>8763584
>No fun allowed
Go away. It's funny. Go post in a McChicken thread.

>>8754593
Fuck you, guy "ovenman" fieri is essential to the alt rights meme stores