I'm going to a buffet on Friday, what should I do so I can

>>8717792

Nothing. Focus on enjoyment, not making yourself sick over-eating.

>>8717824
I'm a glutton, eating as much as possible is how I enjoy myself.

>water
>water
>water

You should have a lengthy piss every 20-30 minutes until about 6 hour before, enlarging your gut.

>>8717863
Would peeing in the final six hours before I go to the buffet shrink my gut?

>>8717792
If you dont eat anything and your stomach will shrink so you'll get fuller faster. Just dont eat the day of buffet and order water instead of soda

>>8717792
Eat a lot of lettuce the day before. At least a few heads.

Drink a jug of whole milk.
Snap your fingers twice
Spin around 3 times while jumping, and chant you favourite videogame theme.
Exhale.
Thank Marmaduke for his blessings.

And you're good to go.

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>>8717792
>>8717863
>>8717901
>>8717907

This

Dont get a Soda with your meal. Thats one way they make money because they know you'll drink probably at least 1 glass maybe a refill too since this is what most people do (which makes you feel more full).

Also because soda is laughably cheap like 20 cents per 32oz from the fountain. Thats why sodas are always at least $1 if not 1.50 from a fast food place because its free money to offset their overhead.

1) Eat breakfast early in the day, cooked eggs but keep the rest of the meal light like toast. Id suggest one of those egg sandwiches from the oven that has the hole cut out of the bread for the yolk to sit in.

2) Dont eat nothing else before the buffet and only drink water like youd normally do up til then.

3) Make sure you shit in the morning too. Because if you're full of shit when you go to eat alot of food, itll make you feel full as well as needing to suddenly go to the bathroom.


Buffet) Make sure to eat the Big Stuff first then leave the smaller stuff for last.

> if its a pizza buffet get what you want the most, do not eat the crusts or breadsticks until you're starting to feel full, and make sure you have copious amounts of marinara sauce for them.

> if its chinese buffet get the stuff thats probably worth the most and the centerpiece of a meal - the fried squid and clams, the bourbon chicken, the red colored roast chicken or pork. Leave the fried rice for last or just tiny spoons of it to appetize the rest of the meal. Avoid stuff like Beef & Broccoli until last because the Broccoli/veggies are just filler.

> If its a ponderosa/golden corral kinda thing get as much -Meat- as you can first. For your 2nd plate get all the other sloppy gravy and veggies kinda stuff - and use the dinner rolls to wipe up the juices. Avoid the desserts there because those are truly just to shut the kids up.

> If there are desserts, eg. dessert pizza or those little cakes at the chinese place, truly leave these for last.

>>8717792
You should eat a bullet, you greedy fat cunt.

>>8718307
He should eat a buffet, point of fact.

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Thanks for the tips guys, this is how I look right now.
Ready for that buffet.

>>8718304
>soda makes you feel full

LOL
O
L

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>>8718304
>Eat breakfast early in the day
I believe this actually helps me be noticeably more hungry around noon when I eat a small breakfast at around 6 or 7

>>8718304
Jesus... people actually strategize on how to make a disgusting pig of themselves under the pretense of "value."

>>8717792
Competitive eaters sometimes eat multiple whole bags of lettuce from the grocery store on the days leading up to a competition because when the lettuce breaks down in your stomach it releases gas that expands it. That way it is at its maximum elasticity the day of.

>>8718330
>can't into comparative adjectives

>>8717792
just stuff it in your pockets

>>8717792
Smoke a massive joint before you go in.
I have a stomach condition that results in me NEVER feeling hungry unless I smoke weed and get the munchies.
It's Wednesday and I had my first meal of the week today, and it was only a chicken and bacon caesar salad (not had weed in about 2 weeks).
Tomorrow I get cash, I'm gonna smoke up and eat fucking EVERYTHING.

>>8718763

maximizing flavor

there are some people who honestly dont care about food, they'd eat nutrient paste if it was palatable. I dont see things from these folks' perspective, and I kinda wonder whether they are human at all.

I would have no problem with eating all the time, I love flavors, its a pity my body couldnt stand up to it.