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>Mom loves cooking and baking >Has won numerous awards

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File: chesspie-1.jpg (109KB, 600x458px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>Mom loves cooking and baking
>Has won numerous awards at the state fair her pies
>Doesn't believe her children will ever be as good at cooking as she is
>Make a chess pie
>Call Mom up on the phone and tell her about how good it was
>"I bet it tasted like dog dick!"

Times your parents insulted your cooking /ck/?
>>
>>8650456
Your mom knows what dog dick tastes like.
>>
How old was your mom when she got pregnant/had her first kid?
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>>8650456
Fuck is chess pie?
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>>8650473
25.
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>>8650456
There's no depth to cooking. Anyone who bothers can be good at it. Nothing to be proud of.

But people are somehow amazed when I do that basic shit.
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>>8650483
Ah, then she's just a cunt.
I was assuming she had kids in her teens or something and never matured into an adult properly.
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>>8650456
Only a shit tier parent would insult their children's cooking. Parents are there to cheer their children on when they work at / produce something new or achieve some kind (no matter how small) of milestone.
I don't approve of parents being the "participation trophy" kind of parent, but parents should always be there to encourage their kids to try new things and expand their knowledge and horizons.
Sorry your mom sucks, anon.
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>>8650456
Baking isn't a skill, you can't fuck it up unless you can't follow directions.
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>>8650577
Most people can't.
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>>8650577
Baking is actually chemistry in action. But yes, if you don't follow directions, you can easily fuck it up. If you are trying to make original recipes, it takes quite a bit of trial and error.
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>>8650456
>made a great thin crust homemade pizza when parents were visting. Homemade dough, sauce, fresh quality mozarrella, mushrooms and italian sausage. Tfw mom says, I like Totinos better, anon.
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>>8650598
Your mom rules
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>>8650577
>X isn't a skill, you can't fuck it up unless you can't follow directions
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>>8650456
Never because they can't cook, period
>>
your Mom sounds hot af. I bet she had you real young, too. Gonna def beat it to her tonight.
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>>8650577
playing an instrument isn't a skill, you can't fuck it up unless you can't follow directions.
>>
>>8650489
I don't want to sound too cliche, but cooking really is one of those things that's easy to learn but hard to master. Anyone can cook, but cooking a meal consistently with proper timing while still being inventive/creative is not an easy thing to do.
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>>8650749
That's not really true, since playing an instrument relies on fine muscle control and a keen sense of internal rhythm, both of which don't come naturally to most people.
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>>8650489
>>8650577
>>8650771
Want to know how I know you're fat fucks who live off of fast food?
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>>8650792
I have a BMI of 19 and I eat only whole plant foods when not traveling.
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>>8650792
What did
>>8650771
have to do with the other two? If anything, it's in opposition to the point they were making. Are you so angry that you temporarily came down with a bad case of retarded, or are you always that way?
>>
>>8650792
Can you offer any examples of foods that are difficult to prepare? I've never been able to find anything more complicated than babby's second computer script.
>>
>>8650461
FPBP
>>
>>8650821
see
>>8650761
The hard part isn't in cooking the individual items; it's in cooking multiple items with the right timing so they're all done at the same time and doing it the same way every single time.
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>>8650771
>internal rhythm, both of which don't come naturally to most people.

Ho'd on dar whiteboi. I'se damn shore knows we's gots dat 'ar rythmn, sho' nuff!
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>>8650456
Is that milk tart?
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>>8650771
>>8650749
They say it is harder to learn how to play a classical instrument when you are old compared to when you are young.
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>>8650456
Tell your mom she should write a recipe or cookbook or start a youtube channel then.

She could earn money that way.
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>>8650749
You can bake a cake within the next hour if you look up a recipe. Try learning to play a song in the time.
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>>8650761
Cooking is a lot like drawing or photography.
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>>8650476
Made in a chess, to keep it cool. Like a treasure chess
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>>8650456
>Make a chess pie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRj3cQjAH7A
Well, today I learned what chess pie is
>>
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Jack troubleshot his way through a chess pie recipe, and I have a feeling this entire thread is bait to get another Jack thread going

it worked
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>>8650861
That's not an oversaturated market or anything.
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>>8650585
>it's chemistry!!

god science teachers made fags out of this generation
practically everything is chemistry in action you mongoloid
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>>8651227
Practically everything isn't taking certain substances and combining them under specific conditions in order to bring about certain reactions that yield a result that is different from the sum of the physical properties of its constituent pieces.
>>
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>>8651279
>ma' lady
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>>8650456
Holy shit your mom doesn't fucking play. I bet she was great in bed.
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>>8650461
fucking roasted
not even i'll be able to recover from this holy shit
>>
>>8650456
S A V A G E
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>>8652395
Yeah well, I bet you eat at OLIVE GARDEN.
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>>8651227
This is what happens when you don't encourage education, folks. That. Right. There.
>>
>>8652946
>guy who thinks baking is applied chemistry detected

hand washing is applied chemistry y'all, be thankful for your soap!
>>
>blogging about your mom
Fuck off
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>>8650456
I would win first place in every event she's entered just to show her what a right fucking cunt she is.
>>
>>8650821
there are tons of dishes that are difficult to prepare for someone cooking at home, you are being ridiculous. Cooking well takes effort and experience, even knowing how your stove and oven,your pans and other shit behave takes a lot of time, developing an eye for good recipes takes time, understanding the changes you can make to make it better, creating something enjoyable out of leftovers and random ingredients.knifeskills and speed (yeah,theres a reason why my friends would need 3x the time for an elaborate dish), getting to know the ingredients and markets around your area...

If i gave a random person a good and easy recipe, shopped and laid out their ingredients,laid out the tools,gave strict instructions on the setting stove/oven, it would still be way worse than if i, or any other experienced cook does it, but probably somehow achievable for most people, but the execution of the actual cooking is just one part of the act of "cooking" something
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>>8650476
A shittier buttermilk pie desu. Cornmeal was a mistake.
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>>8650877
Baking requires knowing what different states of your food look like and feel like beforehand. stiff peaks, creamed eggs, when your dough is chilled enough, if your dough is too wet or dry, tempering chocolate.. Also keeping track of butter temp and baking times as all ovens are diff and elevation matters. Not to mention things like making caramel or butterscotch, custards, homemade puff pastry, jelly fillings, ganaches and frostings, etc..

People who say baking is just following directions think baking means 'cookies, cakes, and brownies'. there's way more than that.
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>>8652955
>Let's not make posts on 4chan and instead be miserable and alone browsing the last remaining threads forever until we're all dead

You must be a hoot at parties.
>>
>>8652948
>guy who's some loser science major but can't cook or bake for shit detected.

If you equate baking with washing your hands, I feel very sorry for you.
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>>8653009
>Cooking well takes effort and experience, even knowing how your stove and oven,your pans and other shit behave takes a lot of time

If you are cooking even somewhat frequently you will learn that stuff in less than a month. So unless you just moved into a new place or just bought all new kitchen gear this is a non-issue.

I got a new oven about 6 months ago. It took just a few days before I learned how it differed from my old one.

>>knife skills
That affects speed, not difficulty.
>>
>>8650456
My mom never mixes sauce with pasta. She'd prefer to keep it a giant starch ball in the fridge. Whenever I make pasta and mix it together, she insists I ruined it.
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>>8653117
bah, you know what, i think you are just not a very good cook, otherwise you wouldnt believe this nonsense, so many people i know, from the smartest lawyer to the ufc guy are unable to do the most basic shit in the kitchen even if you tell them what to do. so either you are a cooking prodigy, or you think making a shitty pastasauce is the answer to all matters concerning food. youll have to post a pic of a dish of yours if you want anybody to take you somewhat seriously
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>>8650456
post pics of ya mum
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>>8653150
Some people like their sauce to not soak into the pasta overnight. It's not hard to drop leftover pasta in boiling water for a second and redrain it.
>>
>>8653150
>>8653275
>leftover soggy pasta

Why do white people do this?? How hard is it to just boil pasta to order
>>
I take care of my mother and I swear she takes my culinary failures as proof she needs to stay alive and in this world for a reason.

Mind you, growing up I was a terribly picky kid and lived on chicken nuggets and cereal. Then there was a period between 10-18 where she cooked well enough and daily, with meals ranging from excellent to edible.

That being said, when I perfect a recipe it's "good" and is quickly forgotten. I fuck up eggs once and I hear it every time I make eggs for 10 fucking years.

Moms are sad cunts, just let her win. You can try to wow her next time you see her, but that effort will be for naught; she will not remember the good meals, only the bad meals.
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>>8653328
my mom is black
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>>8653328
You must not be a parent

Leftovers are good for lunches, and also kids don't eat consistent amounts of food. Neither do adults but they can make more if theyre really that hungry.. so most parents opt to overcook a bit. Kids usually need to eat snacks anyways esp if theyre in sports
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>>8650461
BTFO
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>>8650461

fuck what a fucking slam
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>>8650761
I'm unsure this is particularly true because with most skills, you grind out the same thing as practice. You draw shapes and figures over and over. You play the same piece of music over and over. Generally, you do not cook the same dishes over and over until you nail them. Very few people cook the same thing say, every week. Even if they do, then they have to actually aspire to perfect it.

It's the same shit with anyone. Factory workers can do things like fold boxes crazy fucking fast because they've practiced it so damn much. You don't make risotto six hundred times a day.
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>>8650461
REKT
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>>8650493

Women are never "proper adults". Don't fool yourself into thinking it has a link with their rate of pregnancies.
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>>8654247
You're not really making any sense.

Practice can involve more than just doing the same thing over and over. Practice is just repetition. With cooking, music and art, you generally want to learn how to do a variety of different things instead of sticking to the same thing.
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>>8654287
...which you practice by doing them over and over and over. Someone who has lots of experience making bread is probably going to do okay the first time they make pasta, but they aren't going to be pros at it unless they grind it out over and over and over.

You know why grandmothers are stereotypically great in the kitchen? Because they had a select few amount of dishes that they specialized in and they spent a lifetime practicing the same shit.

>Practice can involve more than just doing the same thing over and over
>Practice is just repetition
Are you retarded?
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>>8654302
You said practice was basically playing the same piece of music over and over. That isn't true.

Practice is more than just practicing the same music piece or the same dish, it's learning to play multiple songs or learning how to cook multiple dishes.

If anything, you're the one that's retarded. People learn how to cook like they learn any other skill, by trying a variety of different things over and over until they nail it.
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>>8650747
hahaa what the fuccckk XD
>>
>Grew up with mom with bipolar disorder
>She'd go absolutely bonkers sometimes
>Made dinner for mom and bro when I was 16
>Mom takes a bite of it, picks up the plate, and tosses it over her shoulder
>Unleashes a torrent of profanity about how I'm a horrible fuckup

If I were to make a list of mom incidents, I don't even think that'd make the top 50, but it's about the only thing I can remember with her and my cooking.
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>>8650476

It's an oreo pie. Black and white, like the colors of chess pieces.
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>>8655486
Craziest story about my mom and food doesn't involve my cooking

>Mom cooking something on the stove
>Smoke alarm goes off
>Mom goes ballistic and starts hitting the stove with a skillet
>"WE'RE JUST GOING TO FUCKING EAT PIZZA"
>Calls up a pizza place screaming incoherently
>They won't take her order which just makes her even angrier
>She's start throwing stuff in the kitchen everywhere
>All the fucking dishes are getting broken
>All the kitchen drawers are being dumped
>She starts yelling at my bro
>"CLEAN THIS MESS UP AND ORDER SOME FUCKING PIZZAS WE'RE GOING TO EAT PIZZA ALL FUCKING WEEK YOU BETTER NOT FUCK UP THE ORDER"
>Bro ordered 10 pizzas because he thought mom wanted a week worth of pizza
>Pizza guy shows up and mom loses her shit "THAT'S TOO MUCH GODDAMN FUCKING FOOD ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT?"
>Dude just straight up left the pizzas
>Mom calmed down a bit
>Kitchen was completely fucked up for years because we didn't have the money to fix it
>>
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>>8655513
I'll... CHECK... it out
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>>8655521
>>8655486

I fucking hate bipolar people. I've spent numerous years with my grandma who's done the same shit, when they're not medicated they're absolutely insufferable and society allows them to hide behind their disease. I'd have had the bitch lobotomized if I could've.
>>
>>8650456
>>"I bet it tasted like dog dick!"

How cruel.
>>
>>8650821
following a recipe and producing something edible is never that hard, what is hard is looking at a fridge or pantry tasting what you have and deciding how you're gonna combine them to form the best tasting dish
>>
>>8655521
>>8655486

What the fuck kind of crazy families did you grow up in? I had all kinds of public school friends with various levels of fucked up families, but never anything like that (that I knew of)

> Sister is 11 years old
> Just graduating from EZ Bake Oven to a real oven
> Found a recipe 'online' (this is 1998 online) for Red Lobster's Cheesy Biscuits
> She makes them to go with mom's dinner
> Biscuits are too salty, too dense, and over all bad
> We all know they;re bad, including sis.
> Eat them a little bit, have a laugh, and throw them away
> No fucks given
>>
>be 9
>want to make lemon ice cream
>empty out 4 lemons
>mix lemon juice with vanilla ice cream
>scoop the mixture back into lemons
>sister took the shit out of me for trying
Didn't try to make food again for 7 years
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>>8655573
My mom has bipolar and was a crazy bitch most of the time when she wasnt high on weed. Told me giving birth to me and my sister ruined her life. Used to throw fits and stuff. And my grandma and my aunt were schizo and both crazy, my aunt would show up at our house in the middle of the night and just sit in her care and watch, idfk, tried to light multiple peoples houses on fire, killed her own baby, crazy shit

But i have bipolar and the worst i do is feel suicidal and binge eat for a week, and then get tons of energy and love the fuck out of life every other week. It feels like you're high for a week straight, so most people hate trading that for neutralness on meds. Never been a fucking psycho. Don't know what gives. Guess some people don't know how to behave when they feel really bad i guess. I thought i'd understand/empathize when i got older but it's only made me more confused, idk
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