I just scratched my butt after I cut habanero's and now

>>8640572
you must perform autofellatio and post webm using your real name

failure to do so results in joey & jack raping you tonight until your fire-roids burst

>>8640583
I would literally have to break my back trying to suck my dick, is there any other way I may appease joey & jack?

>>8640572
Splash milk on your hemmorhoids till they cool down

>>8640593
Like I would waste my money on some pus filled cancer inducing swill.

Seriously can anyone help me!?!? I've taken a shower and it's only spread the fire to my balls. Might as well call them roasted nuts.

>>8640610
Dairy products.

>>8640572
Spread Icy Hot on the area.

>>8640610
Dairy products help cool the fire because the capsaicin binds with milk.

>>8640778
Dairy products are made of cow abortions.

>>8640572
Rub your eyes with habanero and you"ll forget about your ass.

I feel with you anon, I once picked my nose after cutting some really hot peppers (and by picking I mean I dug really deeply and thoroughly). Didn't feel so nice for a few hours afterwards. I didn't want to snort mik either.

File: f6c6cb1d2ef488c797005fa08345ae47.jpg (32KB, 736x417px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 736x417px

You know what to do OP

>>8640610
KEK

>>8640572
that'll learn ya for touching your asshole while preparing food you fucking animal.

>>8640610
This is gunna sound weird, but I've been in your situation and:
Smear queso all over your asshole. And I guess balls now. It acts like a balm.

>>8640572
Put ice cubes in your anus. This is not a joke. It legitimately does wonders. I've had this problem a lot, and it's better to have a cold asshole than a flaming one. Plus the ice melts quickly.

>>8640603
Good goyim, good!

>>8643629
>I've had this problem a lot
Seems like something that shouldn't happen more than once, buddy.

>>8643694
Hey, keep your nose out of my fetishes!

have u guys ever picked ur asshole and sniffed it?
Like you know itll smell like shit but you just cant stop sniffing it haha you guys feel me?

>>8643797
After a long day I like to swipe my entire hand through my taint and ass and give my sweaty hand a big sniff, it's very cathartic.

>>8640572
Habanerrhoids?

Tough it out. I believe in you.

Or try wiping your ass with yogurt or something. Milk, cheese, dairy pretty much. Amino acids are supposed to help break down the capsaicin oil or something.

File: milk.jpg (35KB, 468x278px) Image search: [Google]

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Take a milk bath OP. Not only is the milk good for your skin, but if you finger your anus while in the milk bath it will help with your burning asshole.

Pic related.

>>8640572
>>8640610
Just rub some bengay in, or any other topical pain relief gel. It'll neutralise the spicey chemicals from the peppers and cancel that torment right out.