My girlfriend is going to be here in 15 minutes. What the

>>8571127

shut the fuck up

if she's a decent person she'll be touched that you tried

>>8571127
Roll it up then cut into cute little bite sized pizza rolls.

Ejaculate on it

Looks like you might be able to cut 4 or so modestly sized slices from the intact portions of the pizza. Put two on each of two plates, and tell her it's the first course. Then phone Domino's for a delivery pizza for the rest of the meal.

Or mix it in a blender for about 20 seconds, and serve it as a "reconstructed pizza", the post-post-modernist successor to deconstructing dishes.

>>8571127
you kneed to work your dough some more. get it?

If she's with (you) she doesn't have taste anyway

>>8571168
FUCKING GET IT?

>>8571127
Insert the anal beads to start with

File: 8d03f2e22f551b61c5680ff513c2-caspian-paddock-is.jpg (13KB, 285x175px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 285x175px

>>8571168
>>8571186

>>8571127
Insert the wires and attempt a resurrection

>>8571127
Calzone

She dumped me #bummer

>>8571127
show her that retarded pizza for a good laugh. If you guys can't share a laugh over it then you aren't in a relationship.

>>8571292
Should have ejaculated on it like I told you dummy

ARE WE REALLY NOT GONNA FUCKING ADDRESS THE ANAL BEADS!?!

>>8571329
what are you, twelve?

File: Sad_Reeeee.png (665KB, 905x468px) Image search: [Google]

665KB, 905x468px

>>8571336

>>8571127
burn it and order out. when she gets there and asks what happened, tell her you got distracted because you wanted everything to be perfect when she got here and hope she doesn't mind. then give her a gentle kiss

>>8571292

even after she saw the sex beads? bummer indeed

>>8571228
This guy could of saved you.