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Need some fucking advice. >Invited female workmate to dinner

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Thread replies: 49
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Need some fucking advice.
>Invited female workmate to dinner at my place last night.
>Told her it would be a full prime-rib dinner.
>Call grocery store to ask how much prime rib costs.
>"$17.99, sir."
>Price sounds good, I tell them I will stop by in a couple hours to pick some up.
>>
buy paul prudhomme's meat magic
put a shit ton of it all over
get a head of garlic, use a knife to poke little holes and push garlic cloves into the meat
then put it in a big pan and put it on the oven
put it in at 425 for 15 minutes
then turn it down to 325
USE A FUCKING MEAT THERMOMETER
take it out when it hits 120 degrees
cover it with foil, let it sit for 15 minutes
and then enjoy
if it's just you and her you only need 2-3 pounds
serve it with some mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables or something. idk
>>
>>8491929
If it's nearby, walk, if not take your car or mass transit, dependent on location.
>>
>>8491929
bats always turn left when exiting a cave
>>
>>8491929
>Get off work around 1:00PM.
>Head straight to grocery store.
>Shop for side dish things first.
>Head to meat department, there's no fucking prime rib on the shelves.
>Have to bang on the door to the butcher's chambers to get assistance.
>Bang for a solid minute before someone answers.
>It wasn't even a butcher, just a cashier or something. She ended up paging a butcher over the intercom.
>Butcher comes back, tell him I called earlier, ask about the prime rib.
>He remembers. Tells me he'll have to package some up real quick.
>Asks how much I want.
>Ask for a "normal sized roast."
>Comes back with a four pound roast.
>Price tag: $77.43
>Shit a brick in my head, but take the roast and thank him.
>>
Google and youtube-search "how to cook prime rib", read tips and watch a few vids to cover different ideas/techniques
>>
>>8491941
>Turns out it was $17.99 per pound, not $17.99 per roast.
>I couldn't fucking afford it.
>Pace around store, contemplating the situation. Make it look like I forgot something so my situation isn't obvious.
>Decide to toss prime rib in the freezer section so I don't have to face the butcher.
>Check out with sides and leave asap.
>>
>>8491941
>>8491948
you should have typed all this up in advance, or at least numbered your posts
but whatever, I'm kekking already. do go on
>>
>>8491948
Basically, I need a prime-rib substitute that costs no more than thirty dollars.
Can't be a smaller prime rib roast since there is only one butcher in town and I already fucked it over.
Needs to be commonplace, I'm going to grab it from the shelves and leave.
Must fool my date, it has to be like prime rib.
Any suggestions?
>>
>>8491948

hands are sweaty
prime rib spaghetti
>>
>>8491948
You did good son, I was worried about expenses about six months ago, decided to re-up for a dating website, and the same day I scored a date with my now gf. It's an investment, just don't get attached if she is crazy.
>>
>>8491948
>>8491961
Nevermind, didn't finish reading. GO BUY A ROAST, you cheap bastard.
>>
>>8491959

Just tell her you went to the butcher and the prime rib's quality he had was not good enough for you. And you didn't want to serve her anything that's not top notch. So you decided to go with something else instead.

Buy steaks or something.
>>
>>8491965
Roast is cheap, not prime rib. Needs to be like prime rib.
>>
>>8491967
I like this idea. What is a good steak?
>>
>>8491973
Look for round roast or tri tip roast.
Your date is either going to think you're a cheapskate OR a blithering idiot that doesn't know what prime rib is.
>>
>>8491929
>>8491941
You dumb fucker.
You wanted a STANDING RIB ROAST, not a prime rib. Prime rib is a very specific grade. You'd have paid half the price for choice and I bet neither you nor your cumrag girlfriend would have noticed the difference.
>>
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>>8491976

No idea, I'm from Poland so I'm not familiar with USA cuts, sorry. Probably some other anon can help with that.

Isn't every steak nice? I like the fatty ones, pic related. But I don't know if that counts as nice where you're from.
>>
>>8491973
You know what I mean fuckboi, nothing good is going to come out of trying to decieve her. If you fail you are out of money anyway, and there is a MUCH greater chance of you failing with this sleight of hand shit.
>>
>>8491976
This is a powerful idea, be responsible.
>>
>>8491990
I don't know about that, I'm pretty clever. Steak should be better than roast anyway, wouldn't passing a roast as prime rib be the true deceptive move?
>>
>>8491984
Will look for fatty steaks, thank you kind Pole.
>>
>>8492053
I meant get the Prime Rib roast, maybe you should do some lobster, and wear the cleats.
>>
>>8491929
>>8491941
>>8491948

>asks price of prime rib
>expects price per roast instead of pound
>thinks all roasts weigh exactly the same

How the fuck is it possible you have a job but are this incompetent?
>>
>>8491948
As a butcher, fuck you at least give it back so it doesn't just sit around and shit
>>
>>8491929
>inviting females coworkers
Enjoy getting fired from you job and having sexual predator record for the rest of your life you dumb fuck.
>>
>>8492308
>he's so ugly he can't bang his coworkers
Seriously, have you ever fucked a woman? I bet you haven't, faggot. I'd be mad too I guess ;)
>>
>>8492308
No shit, especially if they're in any way subordinate in the workplace. As soon as the relationship goes south (which it will), you'll be hit with sexual harassment charges and she'll have the evidence because she dug the used condom from the trash while you slept.
>>
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>>8491929
>>8491941
>>8491948
OP here, I ended up buying a few skirt steaks that looked nice and tender. On the downside, my date had to cancel tonight. She wasn't feeling well apparently.
>>8492075
Fuck, I'm not a math teacher. Also, I don't buy meat that often, and when I do, it's by the count. Thought the same applied to roast.
>>8492192
I put it in the freezer (on top of Stouffer's Lasagna). It's not gonna go bad or anything.
>>
>>8492308
I don't think that's how things work. She cancelled anyway. I'm thinking about calling it quits with her.
>>8492407
No bully in this thread.
>>8492436
Once again, fuckboy, not how that works.
>>
>>8492436
fuck off randy ya greasy cheeseburger eatin bastard
>>
>>8493691

>meat by the count
Whatever fucking meat you are buying, I don't want to eat it

>>8493697

>fuckboy
Fat permavirgin detected

You should give up on her op. She wasn't feeling ill. She just didnt have the heart to reject you to your face. The moment you asked her over for dinner she knew she wouldn't be there. Fuck off back to your anime and meat by the count, whatever the fuck that is...
>>
>>8493737
Meat sold per unit of meat. Not meat sold per unit of weight. Get off your high horse and try wrapping your dense fucking head around that. Also, nice job resorting to name-calling.
>>
>>8493885
meat is not a unit
>>
Where the fuck did you go where it costs $18 .... Prime rib here per lb is $9 i go ape shit and by 40 lbs everytime.. oh wait im shopping at a butcher shop....
>>
>>8493970

Actual USDA-graded Prime rib is $18/lb easy. Most rib roasts you buy in the store are only Choice.
>>
>>8493697
>calling it quits
How can you call it quits when you haven't even gone out with her?
>>
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>>8491948
>>Decide to toss prime rib in the freezer section so I don't have to face the butcher.
You do this in my grocery store, you get the cops called on you, kid.
>>
>>8491984
>beef-strip.jpg
Strip steak
>>
Maybe she's vegan
>>
>>8494003
> Calling someone kid
> Works in a grocery store
>>
>>8493885
>unit of meat
What the fuck is this guy talking about?
>>
>>8493885
>Meat sold per unit of meat.
What did he mean by this?
>>
>>8491948
This kind of autism is now old enough to vote

The internet was a mistake
>>
>>8491929
get a blog you colossal faggot
>>
>>8493885

What's the matter meat unit? You can dish it but you can't take it? You called him a fuckboy so I'm calling you a fat permavirgin. Are you talking about those dollar tree ribeyes we see in other threads? Or like a 20 count box of tendies? No one knows what the fuck you are talking about with your meat sold by the unit. Meat is not sold by the unit. Food is sold by weight.
>>
>>8493899
In OP's defense, one hotdog is a unit of meat.
>>
>>8494051
>>8494057
>>8494269
>>8494291
>>8494355
You could have put all of that in one post, samefag.
>>
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>>8495035

Nice try meat unit...
Thread posts: 49
Thread images: 6


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