ITT: what you learned from culunary fuck ups. >never leave

>don't be a waste of oxygen and retarded alcoholic

>>8482624
Trying to modify a recipe? Great! Just remember to change one or maybe two things at a time rather than everything at once. That way if it's inedible you'll know why rather than trying to guess which change fucked it up, and if it's delicious you'll also know why rather than trying to guess which change made everything better.

Oh, and don't buy ingredients thinking it'll force you to use them. Most of the time you'll just end up making something uninspired right before they go bad, or you'll realize they've gone bad before you make something uninspired with them.

marinading meat for too long makes it mushy looking and tough as fuck when cooked
I have now removed any acids from my marinades

>>8482650

>dont make things from scratch if you dont know the recipe

that's like, half the fun of cooking you fucking failure

don't make a double batch to save on ingredients the first time you try a recipe. cook it as written.

>>8482624
>dont make things from scratch if you dont know the recipe
I'd replace this with "don't make things from scratch if you don't know what you're doing." I mean, you don't need a recipe to make a good beef stew, but you do need to know the basic steps, like browning the meat, making a roux to thicken it, and simmering it rather than putting it on a hard boil.

>>8482624
>don't freeze eggs

It's alright if you have a good blender. Only tiny bits of congealed yolk.

t. someone who's been working his way through 5 dozen frozen pastured eggs I bought on sale

>>8482624
>never leave plastic on top of toaster oven
are you retarded?
>dont make things from scratch if you dont know the recipe
some things are intuitive, some aren't.
>dont freeze eggs
you really can't be this dumb.
>know how to use cooking equipment before buying it
knowing how to use equipment is easy. knowing what is a garbage gimmickey TV product vs what isn't might be your problem
>5lbs of bagged potatoes are cheaper than 5lbs of individual picked potatoes
because anywhere from 5-20% of the potatoes could be compromised.
>timers are essential especially with drunk cooking
not really, internal clocks can be pretty accurate
>turn off the oven, george foreman or any other type of cooking stuff before passing out drunk
are you retarded?
>dont pour wine for 'flavoring' onto a super hot surface containing grease
yep, you are

tl;dr someone that can't cook for shit and might be worryingly lacking in common sense.

>>8482624
>dont pour a flammable liquid onto a super hot surface containing grease

...

>>8482624
> what you learned from culunary fuck ups.
I learned that ceramic pans are a fucking joke and cast iron pans are like old friends you can depend on. I also learned cast iron pans make great weapons when shit hits the fan.

I accidentally left an empty aluminum pan on a hot burner once after making ramen and it almost melted, also tried to microwave a muffin for like 1 minute once and it started to smoke really bad and stank to high shit. Basically I'm a dumbass and don't pay attention when I'm cooking

>>8482887
Are you drunk anon?

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>>8482624
Wow. Good thing we have you around for these handy """"tips 'n tricks.""""

>>8483208
there's no need to be mean

Never talk back to the Chef

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I was making cheese sauce and put the cheese in way to early(and cubed instead of shredded)

I ended up with a giant lump of tough cheese.

>>8483391

not yet, no.

gimme an hour though

>>8483208
God people like you suck. You're making food, not changing the world, dont be such an elitist cunt.

I bet you're a gordon ramsey fan.

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>>8482650
Let me guess you prefer more healthy alternatives like smoking cum guzler kush out of your authentic native american pipe?
>>8483208
>are you retarded yep you are
Hey atleast im housebroken
>>8483391
I an
>>8483379
Did the same shit with that ozark trail shit on military annual training left on too hot of a burner fuckin melted right onto the grass.
>>8483429
Tune in next week and ill show you how to fuck your girlfriend right so she doesnt leave you for your kinks;)
>>8483465
Damn straight
>>8483668
Thank you!

>>8483465
fuck that

>>8483465
>>8483768
https://youtu.be/AkLETcJSNIU

Worst mistake I made is letting my bf cook. He put a whole spoon of salt into pancake mix because recipe said so. Had to eat extra salty pancakes with nutella trying hard not to be a salty gf

>>8483802

life must be so fucking hard, cunt

>>8483802
surely you must have made worse mistakes than that

>>8483802
how about you grow a pair and tell him his shit is salty as fuck