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Seeding cheese cultures with swabs from beautiful women's bodies

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Thread replies: 27
Thread images: 3

What sort of technical challenges would a cheesemonger encounter when designing a cheese to mimic the heady pheromones of a human female's bodily terroir?

I was thinking there could be several potential bacterial "bouquets" to harvest for this:

>Arm pits
>Perineum
>Feet (soles)
>Feet (toes)

Would you recommend a long period of aging? Should other cultures be used to temper the powerful female terroir? Would you mix dried fruit or nuts into these cheese?

If this is successful I'm going to market my cheese making services to college athletic teams that want to raise funds by selling cheese made from their amazing bodies. This could make cheese into the next craft beer.
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We've already got a cheese with live maggots in it. This can't be much worse than that.
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>>8451231
That's a fucking aesthetic tattoo. Don't those go away though?
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what the fuck
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Would buy a hot womans perineum cheese
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>>8451231
>Perineum

you wanna make taint cheese man it ain't gonna make any difference what the bitch look like

maybe keep the marketing beautiful and just scrape your own ass for cultures
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I'm vomiting.
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https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/first-vaginal-beer-bottled-instinct-brewery#/

DUDE VAGINAS
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Don't forget to grab the smell of desperation and longing for a husband and children, especially the nearer they get to 35, cheap makeup and perfume, alcohol, and dried semen that emanates from most womens' bodies.
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>>8451231
i know this gets thrown out a lot but i want you to know that I'm completely serious

please kill yourself
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>>8451231
>I'm going to market my cheese making services to college athletic teams that want to raise funds by selling cheese made from their amazing bodies
Not sure anyone would buy this. And health & safety regulations would probably prevent you from selling it legally.

But go ahead, my dude
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File: IMG_3159.jpg (164KB, 880x660px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_3159.jpg
164KB, 880x660px
>>8451231
This should help with all technical issues. The box says take one orally in the morning. Side effects may be-
>light headedness
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>>8451273
It's up in the arch so it ought to have less contact with the ground. Also, I think it would add to the appeal to fade away a bit. Like an old doll.
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>>8451231
>What sort of technical challenges

The fact that the naturally occuring bacteria and molds on the cheese itself are going to out compete whatever you want to "add".

Human skin bacteria and cheese bacteria are mutually exclusive. You could pick one and proceed with it, but you aren't going to be able to just "combine" them like that.
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>>8452135

This is a good point, but you could probably have success with swabbing enough places on enough women (like maybe a whole sports team composed of ~30 females).

Then you would need to select for bacteria, whether lactococci, streptococci or whatever. You might need to insert a plasmid for converting milk sugars to lactic acid but that's a trivial expense these days. There's open source non patented genes you can add to E. Coli. They'd work the same way in bacteria from human skin. You might need to do this a couple times to create the ideal level of "girl stink" and not lose cheese-making properties of the bacteria
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>>8451648
>tfw to intelligent too copulate
>>
From Vice

>This style of cheese making has been coined "punk fromage," as a nod to the loud, aggressive style of music.

>They are never commercial as their wares are rarely legal, except for lawless places. Although they cannot hold a candle to their drug-vending brethren, these black market cheesemongers have been challenging traditions as much as taste buds.

>You learn of them from web-wise word-of-mouth, with calligraphic web addresses written on stationary. No amount of gold will purchase their goods; Bitcoin only, please.
>>
>>8453723
>>8452135

This is a fucking underrated thread.

>>8454316
please tell me this is a joke
>>
I really want to sniff some Latina feet
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>>8455103
yeah I see hot latinas all the time and fantasize about having their feet in my face and enjoying the smells
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>>8451231
>beautiful women
Pic unrelated?
>>
>>8454862
it isnt, its some shallow level deepweb shit.
the bitcoin part is self explanatory.
worst cheese i've seen had horse semen blended in
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>>8452135
You don't know what you are talking about.

Starter bacteria (acidifying) are found in the human digestive system (Streptococcus, lactococcus), and most any bacteria found on our skin can be inoculated onto the surface of a cheese as an adjunct. Cheese microbiology is diverse and there are room for many different bacteria in the finished product, "out-competing" is not a factor except during acidification.

Bacteria and mold can be inoculated into milk or curd at many steps in the manufacturing process. Surface ripened cheeses have a wild mixture of bacteria inoculated and spread around the surface of the cheese for weeks or months while aging.

These surface-ripened cheeses do express the most terroir, as the biochemical reactions are the most complex. This results in a unique combination of small, tasty, organic molecules which are the result of dynamic and interactive factors of everything from the feed of the milk-producing animal to what bacteria are in the final product, and every process in between. Fresh cheeses like mozzarella, queso freso, and paneer express the least terroir as they have the least biochemical transformation.

Brevibacterium linens:

https://microbewiki.kenyon.edu/index.php/Brevibacterium_linens

>Brevibacterium linens is found in soil but what makes it unique to other Brevibacterium is that it is also found on human skin, more specifically our feet [4]. It causes foot odor.

>Another thing that makes it unique is that it is found in cheeses. It was first isolated from romadur cheese in Germany[4]. Other cheese surfaces it is on are Munster, Brick, Tilsiter, and Appenzeller[3].
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How do we get this on Kickstarter? We could market this as Feminist cheese and leverage nu-male betabux to fund the first batches.

What female chef personality would be the best face of this? Dominique Crenn? Rachel Ray?
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File: bacteria.jpg (15KB, 250x167px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Should cheese-making bacteria be as venerated as bees, dogs, cows and horses?
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>>8451564
A better idea for vaginal beer should be vaginal yeast from a slut, not lactic acid.
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>>8458370

>Ashley Fires Triple BBC IPA
>Bobbi Starr Sour Puss
>Faith Leon Furry Bock
Thread posts: 27
Thread images: 3


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