Not very /ck/ related but here it goes Also, possible feels warning

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>>8445838
>mom gets better, almost completely healthy
>I decide to go back working
>find a job
>just as shitty as the last one
>less than one month later
>she gets diagnosed with cancer again
>seems like the operation wasn’t so successful
>cancer is on a completely different place this time
>she gets chemotherapy and radiation treatment again
>she is even weaker than before
>same thing: quit job, move back to mom’s place, help her cooking
>this time she’s just sitting on a chair telling me what to do how to do it
>essentially I’m doing the cooking
>she makes me do the exotic meals too
>family tells me my meals are great
>just as good as mom’s
>relatives come to visit mom
>they tell me the same
>my cooking is just like mom’s
>mom’s getting stronger again
>I’aint taking chances this time
>decide to fuck work, stay at home and look after mom just in case
>cooking became such a habit that even though she’s fit to cook I’m the one doing it all the time
>again almost one year passes
>she’s getting pain from various parts of her body
>complete CT scan
>small lumps of cancer all over her body
>liver, lung, kidney, brain, tongue…
>blood tests shows that the liver functions are so poor due to the cancer that she will not survive another treatment
>this is it, there is no way out of this
>she’s in bed all the time
>she can barely speak and eat because of the cancer on the back of her tongue
>I do the cooking completely on my own

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>>8445843
>she has to be taken into hospital to keep her alive
>in her last few days she didn’t even recognise me, because of the cancer in her brain and because she was pumped full with painkillers
>she passes away
>
>my dad’s almost completely mentally crippled
>he either cries or does the paperwork that needs to be done after someone dies
>bro and his wife decides to stay with us seeing how dad is struggling
>they decide to cook
>not so good
>dad gathers his strength
>decides he’ll fill in for mom and cooks for me and my bro just to show off how well he is
>tastes downright awful
>decide to take over the responsibility and cook
>this goes on for a week or so
>dad rapidly feels better
>I can see him being happy form time to time
>I ask bro if something has happened to him recently
>dad told him that my cooking reminded him of mom
>bro says I cook just like mom
>more than a month later - now

I hate cooking but if I stop cooking the entire family loses a bit of a legacy of my mom. Just like my mom, I can cook just about anything and everyone’s telling me it’s the best. Some of my distant relatives already asked me to come over and cook something for them. I don’t want to. I hate cooking. I also don’t want them to lose a piece of memory left of my mom either.

WTF am I supposed to do now?

>>8445846
If you still hate it, teach someone else in the family to do it, the way your mom taught you.

>>8445869
This.

Also... sad story bro. I'd give you a hug if I could.

>>8445869
Thought about it. I have no idea where to start.

>>8445966
thank you

>>8445838
OP, to keep your sanity you need to get back to work, though you can continue cooking the family meal. I dare say the good food isn't a substitute for what is actually the conversations and compansionship the mealtime is meant to be. Why not give Dad some delegated meals he can't mess up on certain nights. Breakfast for dinner night, or start to stick in the crock pot he only has to chop up. Salad he has to assemble and reheat something already made to go with it.

Sorry anon. One day years from now, those little bedside memories of care will be the conversations you won't regret having.

>>8445846
Sorry for your loss.

Maybe you could compile the recipes into a book, or make videos.

>>8446122
>>8446123
Thanks.
I don't think I was actually looking for an advice, more like I just had to get something out of my chest. I'm pretty sure I'll figure out something eventually.
Never the less, I appreciate it.