Alright /ck/, I've tried making my mayonnaise a couple of

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>>8393638
You have your ratios wrong, get a kitchen scale.

emulsify.

how are you blending everything?

>>8393663
I use a regular wooden spoon, but I don't think I'm doing it at the correct speed, the first time I did it really fast while the second time I did it much slower.

>>8393678
Are you adding all the ingredients at once and then mixing? You have to add the oil bit by bit and mix it non-stop

>>8393690
I add the oil while I'm stirring the eggs, I think I might be using too much oil.

>mayonnaise
there's your first problem
>what am I doing wrong
making mayonnaise

>>8393708
But anon, I really like mayonnaise

>>8393715
>but Anon I really like semen splattered all over my face and jizzed into all of my food

fixed for you

>>8393722
Um, thanks I guess

>>8393729
you are welcome.

>>8393700
>using a wooden spoon to hard whisk

Nigga if you have a blender, use it. That or a whisk.
>mustard into egg yolks until paste
>combine oil slowly
There's no 'slow' mixing part, you are combining raw ingredients, it takes alot of elbow grease and constant high speed.

>>8393788
Alright anon, I'll try this next time, thanks.

>>8393638
that looks good to me desu

>>8393638
Just use a food possessor. It aerates and emulses everything incredibly quickly and is pretty foolproof and the ingredients are still cold by the time its done so its less likely to separate on you.

[spoiler]also use only egg yolks, deluxe super delicious mayo that blows everything else out of the water

>>8393905
NO SPOILERS ON A FUCKING BLUE BOARD? EXPLAIN THIS SHIT MOOK

>>8393907
Spoilers are for boards that revolve around things that can be spoiled (I. E. vidya, movies)

You can't spoil food.

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>>8393924
>You can't spoil food.

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>>8394090

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>>8393924

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>make sure everything has room temperature
>use a mixer
>pic should tell you how to add the oil

>>8394126

Once you get an emulsion going you can add the oil much more quickly.

>>8393638
first step to making good mayonnaise is to not make mayonnaise at all

>>8393678
Even with a whisk, you might have trouble. Use an immersion blender or hand mixer.

>>8393899
That is most likely a stock picture dumbass

Using an immersion blender instead of a whisk has worked for me

here's a video from seriouseats

http://www.seriouseats.com/2016/08/video-food-lab-foolproof-homemade-mayonnaise.html

>whisking oil into egg yolks to create a simple emulsion is some kind of alchemy that requires high end electric appliances and exact science to achieve

Jesus fucking christ, this board is a laughing stock when the first world countries are asleep.

>>8394326

why do more work when you can do less

everyone has a hand blender anyways and shit costs like 10 bucks and has a million uses.

>>8393638
bjyrgcuyjwgeirug. There are only a few ways to fail at this.

Not stirring well enough. At least use a fork, if not a whisk. The more speed and tines, the smaller the fat globules get and the better emulsification you get. I always just use a fork. Works for me.

Adding fat too quickly, especially at the beginning. Start vigorously stirring the yolks before you start very slowly drizzling fat into them. Keep adding slowly until you start getting a whitish color, then it's pretty stable. (hey, does anybody know how much fat you can add before it breaks? Can that happen? I always just stop when it looks like mayo.)

Having too much egg whites left in the yolks. Separate those bitches well. A tiny bit of albumin residue is ok. a small amount makes it hard to emulsify.

>>8394330
>not being able to make delicious mayonnaise in 2 minutes or less without muh electricity

>>8394357
i can do lots of things without electricity that are better with

>>8394361
I get it. Food processors and blenders are nifty. Unless I'm making a giant tub-o-mayo, which I never am, cleaning the fucking machine takes longer than just hand whisking it in a bowl. It's one of those kitchen economy of scale issues.

>>8393638
start with a little bit of already made mayonaise this will help it emulsify easier. Also add the oil in slowly and wisk like michael J fox on crystal meth. Good luck!

>>8394379
as a user of both whisks and hand mixers i can tell you that cleaning a whisk is much more of a chore than cleaning mixer beaters

stop being a poorfag and stop talking about things you don't understand

>>8394399
Have a nice day.