Actual comic contents aside, I still can't understand how

>>8380622
>I spend most of my days indoors so I never go out to do this sort of thing which is why I'm asking. Sometimes, a change in scenery in nice but I still feel like if I try to spend more than like 10 minutes at a cafe, somebody's going to ask me to leave or complain I spend too much time with my table on a subsequent visit
the 'tism is real

Basically in these situations it's all up to your server what kind of an experience you have and 9 times out of 10 your server decides that based entirely on your tip. Tip outrageously and you can do about whatever you want.

>>8380795
>the 'tism is real
I was a latchkey kid, never went out unless it was a family dinner trip or something and we'd come straight back. Now that I'm living by myself, I feel like I'm missing out but I'm too much of a wuss to go out and do new things without worrying that I'm embarrassing myself.

>Tip outrageously and you can do about whatever you want.
I don't know what range of money you mean by "tip outrageously", and that goes back to my point of isn't it better for the server to just flip more tables instead of getting a one-time large tip for even an hour's worth of table time? And if I'm starting to spend like $10-$30 extra just to spend time in a booth for a day, I feel like the money could be spent on something else. Then there's the floor manager and other servers who'd probably notice that I'm hogging a table.

Also cafes and shit don't have servers since you order at the front and then take your drink to the table so I don't see how a large tip would translate to doing whatever I want.

>>8380882
>I was a latchkey kid, never went out unless it was a family dinner trip or something and we'd come straight back. Now that I'm living by myself, I feel like I'm missing out but I'm too much of a wuss to go out and do new things without worrying that I'm embarrassing myself.
How old are you? You've got to get over this or else your social phobia will only get worse over time and a detriment to your happiness.

Force yourself outside of your comfort zone. Strengthen your social skills like a muscle, throughout repetition and pushing yourself harder.

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>>8380898
This guy is right - I'm kind of the opposite in which I was a smothered sperg but that didn't stop me from actively doing shit

Sit at the bar. If you're alone, especially. A table is for a party. If it's just you and it's not particularly busy the bartender will dote on you because he gets dem sweet sweet tips, especially if you're a regular. Seriously, food comes out real quick when you sit at a bar and you look like less of an autist

Unless you don't drink

the business model of a cafe is that you buy it there because you can hang out. that's why they're not stores, they're cafes.

essentially you've got it. there are a limited quantity of hamplanets that can eat their way into a cost overrun vs the many more people that like the concept of "unlimited" but only eat a normal amount of food.
1 dish costs the restaurant $3 to make and they charge $15. 10 people eat normal "unlimited" meals and 2 people eat the equivalent of 10 meals==profit ($120 net vs $0 net)

buffets and restaurants that offer this run into trouble when they get swarmed by hams that can tip that scale, and there are many stories of joints that have had to limit seating time, limit expensive dishes, or outright ban the waddlers because that calculus is upset when there's a propensity of bad lard in the local populace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLkTuWdKrqY

>>8380622

lunchtime at most olive gardens i've been too is pretty quiet, 1/3rd full at most, so if people want to take their sweet time that's alright.

>>8380965
That's not even what OP is asking about

>>8380882
Tip 100% or $10 whichever is higher and go during a time when it's not so busy. Restaurants are designed with seating capacity to handle dinner rushes so just come between lunch and dinner the servers will be happy to get someone hanging out there's a reason it's called happy hour. They'll talk to you and shit because you may well be the only person in their section and you'll probably be the most interesting one of you stay for a while and do an activity of some kind even if it's just reading. They'll remember you and after you tip them nicely they'll be even happier to see you next time. At a cafe especially during business hours it's likely that there will only be one person working, two at the most. They'll notice your tips immediately especially of you just dump the change from a 5 into the jar every time.

>>8380965
>bad lard in the local populace

Your logic, however carefully reasoned, fails when you consider the ubiquity of shit buffets all over the south, where you can't pitch a stone in any direction without hitting a black or white trash gargantuan fatass.

How long it's reasonable to hang out, nursing a coffee while reading for instance, is in large part a function of how crowded the place is. You probably don't want to stay and read in a noisy place, and they don't care if you hang around as long you tip decently and there are still empty tables.

There is also a different biz thing going on for cafes and coffee places. The busy and crowded nature generally makes people want to go there more even if the coffee isnt as good.

Not to mention the idea of "a person writing/studying" at starbucks is popular enough to encourage business.


Makes financial sense for them

I'm usually full on salad and breadsticks before the entree even gets there. Probably a faster way to flip tables.

Usually places that do this don't have a problem with seating.

>>8380898
Right after I entered college, I was basically one of those kids who tried to make up for a lifetime of no social interaction in a year or two and spilled enough spaghetti to make Italy blush. I eventually stopped acting like a retard (I think) after a few months but the damage to my social/professional circle has been done so nobody takes me seriously on either front anymore so I spend a lot of time punching myself for being a retard out in public now. But after a few years of being inside only the office or inside my apartment, I want to go out every once in a while without re-enacting my college days.

>>8380945
>Unless you don't drink
That's one of my problems. I am incapable of drinking alcohol, even sniffing the stuff makes me want to vomit. I keep trying to make my body get used to it but it's just a huge ordeal not to just immediately vomit anything I drink back out. Can't even get drunk when I do manage to drink something, I just get a major migraine about 30 minutes in that lasts for a couple hours (aka. through the night/party) so it's not even enjoyable.

My friends are big alcoholics, and we've tried a bunch of stuff to see if I'd like/be able to stomach any of it and we still haven't found anything. I just really can't stand the taste/smell no matter how much I try be it vodka or what they call "wussy" drinks like those hyper-sweet old fashioneds or riesling wines. This adds onto my feeling that I'm missing out when I'm reminded that I don't understand basic social norms like hanging out at a cafe to work.

>>8380981
My family used to go to Olive Garden a lot, and it was always crowded at all hours as far as we can tell. Regardless of the time of day or day of the week, it'd be jam-packed and getting a seat was always a 30+ minute wait and it was a decently sized building too at the edge of a rural-ish shopping centre so it wasn't because of venue. It's partly why I can't imagine being able to hang out there for any length of time.

>>8381858
I don't understand how coffee shops do it, every one I've been in has like 5 tables total and they're usually full

>>8380965
Not really talking buffets though. Was thinking more of cafes and shit where you buy one thing and spend a while at a table longer than most average customers, as opposed to paying once and eating non-stop for 4 hours. Different end of the cost efficiency spectrum. Olive Garden was more of a "nobody probably actually does this" example, and the soup+breadsticks combo basically breaks the rule of any efficient buffet eating anyway: Never mix water and carbs because they'll fill you up before the next plate like how >>8381882 feels.

>>8380955
>>8381007
>>8381567
>>8381906
I guess I could see how that'd work. Still feels like such a weird thing to do. I might try at a local shop on a day when it's not that crowded when the holidays are over then.

>>8381858
To be honest, I don't understand how the non-Starbucks shops even manage to stay open because they don't seem to get a lot of traffic even during the morning and lunch rushes so I don't know how they can afford to have employees and pay for costs like supplies and rent and make enough profit to stay open.