>buy slow cooker >only used it twice in the last eight

salsa chicken

>>8276081

How many hours?

>>8276069
Coat bottom in thin layer olive oil.
Place 2-3 lbs boneless chicken thighs.
Salt & Pepper in.
Mince 4-5 cloves of garlic, throw in.
Juice an orange and a lime, pour that in.
A couple of good shakes of oregano.
Cover.
Cook on low for at least 8ish (or more, it won't hurt) hours.

Shred with fork in the crock pot. Use shredded chicken for tacos, on rice, in soups/curries, etc, or just eat.

Portion out and freeze for easy use later.

Flavor is mild, but tasty. Goes easily into nearly any type of cuisine.

>>8276069
Some kind of pork or beef roast

>>8276069
I got a slow cooker/pressure cooker(Instant Pot) for Christmas last year. I wanted to get pissed at the gift. I used it once in the first 6 months of having it.

Then I started using it to make rice, chicken thighs and yams, soup, etc etc.

Chicken Thighs and Yams recipe
2-3lbs boneless skinless chicken thigh--season with salt, pepper, smoked paprika(this spice goes very well with the yams.)
About 3 large yams, cut into crescent moons, about 1 inch thick
One whole diced jumbo sized yellow onion
Minced fresh garlic
About 12oz of chicken stock(or whatever you may have, vegetable would likely be good too.)
Salt, pepper,

This is a pressure cooker recipe(takes about 3 hours) so slow cooking may take 8 hours. layer some onion and yams on the bottom, put chicken on top then the remainder of yams and onions. You can always open up the cooker and temp the chicken to make sure it hits 165. Will make a shitload of relatively healthy leftovers.

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>>8276069
Why the fuck are you asking for a slow cooker bomb recipe?

Throw a pork shoulder roast in with a whole quartered onion, a can of chipotles in adobo, and a can and a half of dr. Pepper.

Cook on low for 6 hours. Fork shred, mix a small amount of the juices back in. Ive made tacos, nachos, enchiladas, eggrolls, bahn mi and topped pho with it so far. If you can put spicy pork shred in the recipie, this stuff will make it shine.

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>>8276371
cutting yams into crescent moons sounds like a big waste of time and yam

>>8276109
4 or 8, high/low.

I bought my first slow cooker today. I'm planning on cooking a creamy chipotle chicken tomorrow since I have all the ingredients on hand.

You sound like a working class chump. I bet you thought it would be a great "investment", how you would wake up to a warm, healthy breakfast to start off your long day. Maybe, you even had a couple thoughts about all the other nifty little uses you could find for the thing, how it would help you cook healthier meals in general, shed a couple pounds off the old gut, boost your confidence around work and with the ladies. Yeah, maybe that slow cooker would start your life cooking again, wouldn't it? I can see your strained hands holding the box and reading through it carefully at the store. A little bit pricey, but you're the type of guy who thinks everything is more than you can spend, aren't you. And look what happened to you. Look what the slow cooker did to you. Fucked you over, and made you clean it like a useless bitch. You don't even fucking like oatmeal. Piece of shit, you've been repeating those three words your whole life, haven't you. Yeah, how was work after that piece of shit fucked you over? I bet it was on your mind the whole day, you probably didn't say shit to nobody. Can't be telling people about your mistakes. How your little fix yourself plan, failed you. Don't want people to start thinking you're the failure. You're the piece of shit, all along. You don't want that do you? You don't want to be the piece of shit everybody secretly whispers about, do you? Was your father a piece of shit like you? I bet he never had a slow cooker. He had a woman, a house, a damn good job. I bet it's slow cooking you the fuck alive, isn't it. Comparing yourself to him. How one day when all the steam runs our of your life, you'll discover how you're nothing more than burnt shit to be scrapped off and thrown in the trash.

>>8277763
Is this pasta? Cause if it is not, it should be poetry

>>8276371
>boneless
Half the point of a slow cooker is what it does to chicken bones.

>>8276371
>Smoked Paprika

This has become one of my favorite spices. It can add so much flavor to just about anything.

>>8277763
:(

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>>8276475
>a whole quartered onion

What did he mean by this?

>>8277763
You sound like my wife. You aren't my wife are you?

Slow cooker is a meme. Oven works better, consistent and controllable temp and uses less energy.

>>8276175
sounds really good and cheap too. ima start doing this.

>>8279356
an onion, cut into 4 parts.

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>>8277763

>>8277763
Jesus dude

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>>8277763
include me in the cap

All these newfags that can't even recognize pasta.

>>8279471
but if something is quarted it cannot be whole

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>>8277763

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>>8277763
Jesus....

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>>8279743
>>8279743
Be more wrong shit head

>>8276475
I second the pork shoulder. I've seen some people make amazing barbeque pork with a slow cooker/crock pot.

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>>8279806
10/10

>>8277763
well well well if it ain't the pot calling the kettle black.

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>>8277763
Whew

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>>8276069
PULLED PORK FOR DAYS

Take this shit, slice up some pineapple, get some banana peppers and you have yourself a sandwich.

>>8279067
>>8279364
>>8279480
>>8279594
>>8279608
>>8279769
>>8279776

This pasta is at least 3 years old. It's high quality though.

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>>8279838
I did this, and you can too!

>>8277763
WOW

>>8279840
It's embarrassing how /ck/ always falls for the most stale pastas, the ones I've seen 10+ times over the years.

>>8279067
Its not poetry, its called projecting.

>>8279858
It's amazing how someone can actually only have been on /ck/ for a week or two. I mean, there aren't actually people who haven't lived on /ck/ for the past two or three years, are there?

>>8279992
Thing is mate, go on boards like /r9k/ or /pol/ and when copypasta gets posted, it's rare to get 1 or 2 replies taking it seriously.

Yet on /ck/, every time you post copypasta you get 10+ replies from idiots taking it seriously, worst of all was this faggot >>8279608 who thought this was screencap worthy.

>>8279992
I'm not embarrassed to admit that I've been visiting this website for ten years. I've been camped out on /ck/ for five.

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>>8279992
>two or three years
That's still a newfag

>>8276069
Use Yoshida's original sauce mixed with water for pork ribs. Cook on high for 8 hours. Add more water. Cook on low for four hours.

Sweet meat falling of the bone as you try to pick it up.

Serve over rice or make spring rolls.

>>8280009

I feel your pain, dude. I first started dabbling in 4chinz in 2005. I've been here for eleven years and have camped out on /new/ (old /pol/, back when it was conspiracy theories), /co/ before it was crap, /fit/, and /k/.

I'm a lonely person with no hobbies outside of homework. I need a life.

>>8280064
>here for 11 years
>still does homework
That means you're no older than 18 now, so you were visiting 4chan at 7? I'm not buying it, nigger

>>8280100
college has homework too.
let's give him +5 for doubt
23-11
12

>>8280100
Yeah. Or he's just a lying faggot. That happens a lot on the internet.

>>8280100

I was in the Navy for five years, Encyclopedia Brown.

>>8276380
kek

>>8280205
Slow cooker isn't a pressure cooker, you fucking idiot.

>>8276069
Beef shin
Shallots
Garlic
Bacon
Mushrooms
Cheap Red Wine
Flour
Black Pepper

Sprinkle some flour on your beef. Brown it in a pan on medium-high with a little oil. When brown, into the crockpot. Save the juices. Put peeled but unchopped shallots in the pan without turn temperature down to medium so you don't burn it or it will taste bitter. When they start turning brown, and absorbed most of the beef juices add garlic peeled and crushed then after a minute, all in the crockpot. Cut bacon into small pieces('lardons') and do them in the pan back on medium-high until cooked but not crispy, throw in the crockpot. The pan now has the flavours of what's been in it all around it. Turn the heat on high and wait for left over bacon bits to sizzle, pour in the whole bottle of red win. Let it reduce by about 50% and keep stirring, the bits stuck to the pan should come away and incorporate into it. Then in the crockpot with it, covering everything in there. On high for 3 hours, the flour mixed into the juices from before will cause the wine to thicken into a sauce. Stick mushrooms in the pan with a little oil and when they're ready, in the crockpot. Wait one more hour and you have a not-shit Beef Bourguignon, which is French for 'Beef Bourguignon' or 'Coq au Vin but with beef'. Use boned whole chicken thighs instead for Coq au Vin. The French really aren't that imaginative.

>>8277763

Dat projection

>>8280310
>pretending

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>>8277763
This is fucking art

>>8276069
I don't have specific recipes but pulled pork is excellent in a crockpot. chili and other thick soups are also great in it, as are roasts and au gratin potatoes.

also here's a sort of recipe, but I don't have amounts because I always just eyeball it and go by taste. good project for a weekend when you're gonna be around the house.
>cook a whole chicken or a bunch of bone-in chicken pieces in crockpot
>debone and set aside the meat
>add water and whatever scraps/odds and ends of celery, onion, and carrot that you have that aren't spoiled (wilted is fine) back to crockpot with carcass
>for maximum caveman-strength nutrition, break long bones and let that delicious marrow out
>cook a couple hours to get stock
>strain stock with a fine mesh strainer and/or cheesecloth so you don't have carrot butts and bits of chicken yuck in your stock
>if you want low-fat stock, put in containers in fridge and scoop off fat when it solidifies
>but if you or someone you're cooking for has a cold or flu, leave some of the fat in
>cube chicken
>add stock back to crockpot with chicken, chopped veggies, chopped onion, plain wild rice or wild rice mix (or egg noodles if you don't like rice), bay leaf, salt & pepper, basil, bit of tarragon if you're feeling it
>cook til veggies and rice or noodles are done
>enjoy delicious soup
>save any leftover cubed chicken to use in other recipes
>freeze leftover stock, should keep at least a few months
>can also freeze cubed chicken directly in stock to keep meat from becoming freezer burned, then thaw out and use as base for soup in a month or two

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>>8277763
Introspection .

>>8276175
>shredded chicken

When will this shitty meme die? Shredded chicken is the worst chicken.

>>8279471
"A whole onion, quartered." would be more easily understood.

>>8276069
Brown a slab of chuck, season with salt and pepper

Throw in cooker

Add jar of salsa verde

Cook on low for 8, or high for 4

Eat as taco/burrito/torta.

>>8277763
Top kek

>>8276069
Find whatever cheapest piece of meat you can at the market. Probably going to be pork. Dump in with water, stock and chopped up cheap root vegies and potatoes.

Costs fuck all to make and will feed you for days.

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>>8276069
make hella broth anon, using bones and charred veggies and stuff. really warms your bones. can make chicken noodle soup, ramen, tortilla, chicken n dumplings, whatever, hella to freeze and eat later

>>8280007
I missed the screen cap post. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

>>8279608
You are dumb.

slow cookers are for assholes that don't give a shit about meat. If you're busy/lazy use a slow cooker.

>>8282554

making a broth is the only use for a slow cooker.

>>8282554
>burning onions while they are submerged in liquid and in a slow-cooker

you done fucked up pleb