kebab chef here, living and working in london, hammersmith.

>chef

Good one. You just put meat between bread.

Kebab chef lol your delusional you paki fuck all you do is slice meat and put salad in bread your subway with a knife and less salad kys

Kebab chef lol your delusional you paki fuck all you do is slice meat and put salad in bread your subway with a knife and less salad
Go home and kys

>>8275295
>kebab chef
fuck off

>>8275316
it's an art basically. you have to know the exact amount of time to toast the bread perfectly. also you have to be very good with knife to slice meat properly. it takes years to master. it takes 6-7 years to finish med school and become a doctor and i'd say it takes even more to become a good kebab chef.

Kebab chef lol your delusional you paki fuck all you do is slice meat and put salad in bread your subway with a knife and less salad kys

>>8275324
self-delusion: the post

>>8275328
i'm not saying it's harder than finishing med school. it obviously isn't. i'm just saying it takes more time to actually master it.

it's one thing to eat it and another thing to make it, boss.

white sauce recipe nao plox

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>>8275295
>Kebab chef

>>8275341
yoghurt, garlic, salt, lemon juice. yes, it's this easy.

>>8275295
I notice people are calling you a Paki but the chances are you are working with Turks.

Ammirite?

>>8275357

fanks m80

>if takes over 9000 years to learn how to toast some bread and cut some meat
is everybody in the kebab business mentally challenged?

>>8275394
Most are muslims, so yes.

>>8275394
>/ck/ masturbates over jiro claiming how it takes decades to make a perfect mash of rice with slice of raw fish over it
>when some guy says the same thing about literally harder thing to do than to make sushi, everyone loses their shit

/ck/ everyone

>>8275360
are you german by any chance? your immigrants will be largely turks. britain is different, theirs are from former colonies. london is overrun with pakis

>>8275400
>kebab
>literally harder thing to do than to make sushi
full retard

>>8275360
we are all paki here in hammersmith, i am also a paki. some syrian guys wanted to open a kebab place here three years ago and one of them got killed because of it because no place for all of us, you understand? lol.

>>8275402
>london is overrun with pakis
Who told you that?
London has more Indians than Pakis but kebab shops are still the domain of Turks.

American memes are just way off the mark.

>>8275295
WHY IS KEBAB SO DELICIOUS

>>8275412
it tastes good but it will make you fat in no time if you eat only kebab, boss

>>8275409
Call Turks pakis for to lulz
If all white people are "white" then all brown are pakis in my book it's fun to say

>>8275409
>more Indians than Pakis
same shit, who cares

>>8275415
INDEED. I WATCH MY KEBAB INTAKE.

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>>8275449
>it seems to be overruled by brown immigrants that are hostile, arrogant, and not very smart.

>>8275449
>What are some safe areas in England for an America tourist?
Everywhere to be honest.
Unless you want to hang around in dodgy areas in major cities you are fine.

Britain is far whiter than America, the South West being the whitest - you may get told about Scotland or Northern Ireland but they are rather depressed areas, poor and desolate.

is kebab something i could make at home pretty easily?

>>8275475
no

>>8275449
a few years ago i applied to an online dating chat and there i met a girl or at least i think it was a girl who was pretending to be someone else. she said she was from York and she wanted to meet so i bought a ticket to York to meet her and when i came here she didn't respond to my messages anymore and just disappeared. when i was at York for 2 days searching for her, i didn't see a single muslim person so you might want to go to York, boss.

Why is kebab always so dry and tough? Why are greek gyros so much better? Why are greeks better than turkroaches?
>>8275475
Yes.

>>8275500
>Why are greeks better than turkroaches
because greeks aren't muslims

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Kebab Chef here. I can't believe what I am reading. Do you guys actually think being a kebab chef isn't a skill worthy of praise?

I am sure you worship Sushi Chefs. Now, let us look at the skills needed to make kebab vs the skill needed to make Sushi.

>Cooking
A sushi chef does not have to cook anything. He just picks off pieces of fish meat. A kebab chef must often cook 3 or 4 gigantic pieces of meat at once without overcooking or undercooking even slightly. This is an almost impossible task. Put a Sushi chef in charge of a single rotating doner and he will need his 'nori seaweed' as a blanket to console his crying eyes

>Folding
A sushi chef has to fold seaweed which is naturally pliable. Meanwhile a kebab chef must fold pita bread which can break at the slightest touch. This mastery of lightness is why kebab chefs are famed for their sexual prowess in towns like Rotherham and Rochdale.

>Cutting
A kebab chef must use a gigantic knife with enough precision to ensure equal serving for every customer. A sushi chef is often awarded a razor sharp knife and must cut off pink slabs of salmon which are hidden beneath rice anyway. Nobody notices a sushi chef if he fails.

>Menu Design
Sushi menus are easy to design. You can use anime style fish and Japanese art. Turkey is not famed for its art so a Kebab menu is harder to create. I have often spent 40 hours merely photoshopping a chicken burger to look good for my menu.

>Customer Service
Average customer in a sushi restaurant: 'Arigoto, *bows*, I wish to sample some sushi, allow me to wait patiently'
Average customer in a Kebab shop 'OI YOU FOCKIN PAKI CUNT GIVE ME MY FOCKIN KEBAB NAAAH SO I CAN WALK 10 FEET AND SPILL HALF OF IT ON ME BIRDS TIGHT TITS'


Pic related its me.

>>8275679
>Nori sheets are naturally pliable

Alright have a (You)

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>>8275679
A Kebab "chef" doesn't fold shit. He just stuffs meet and veggies in a breadbag and drowns all of it in sauce. Every 15 year old turkish immigrants cousin can learn that in 2 days.

t. german

>>8275679
here's a (you) for your effort in typing all that shit out

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>>8275679

Boy that is a long ass bait.

Where is a good place to get breakfast near Euston?

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>>8275679

Also this is why kebab chefs are renowned for their "sexual prowess"

Cooking: Are you really this delusional All of your cooking is done by a fucking rotisserie. Literally all you have to do is set a timer. In addition sushi is not the only thing thats fucking served. Theres tempura, cooked fish (which is way easier to overcook than a doner)

Folding: Like I said, nori is way more fragile then pita bread, you're delusional if you think otherwise.
Cutting:
The cut of a sushi roll is the most noticable thing. If you fuck it up it basically ruins the roll you moron.

Menu design:
>ANIME FISH

Holy jesus you just have never been to a sushi place before.

>Customer service:

Not your fault that your trash food attracts trash people.

>kebab chef
>kebab chef
>kebab chef

>>8275679
Your doing gods work mate, love me some kebab

YOU HAVE TO GO BACK

Sushi Chef here. I can't believe what i'm reading. Do you guys actually think being a Sushi chef isn't a skill worthy of praise?

I am sure you worship Kebab Chefs. Now, let us look at the skills needed to make Sushi vs the skill needed to make Kebab.

>cooking
A Kebab chef does not have to "cook" anything. He just slaps 3 or 4 rotating cylinders of dog, horse, and goat meat onto skewers and let them cook all at once, never overcooking or undercooking because they run on automatic timers and burners. A trained monkey could do this. Put a Sushi Chef in charge of four rotating doner's and he'll need his nori seaweed as a blanket because he'll fall the fuck to sleep.

A Sushi Chef has to carefully slice off peices of the freshest and most delicate fish meat with a knife folded so many times the slightest twitch of his hand will send it careening through the fish, his arm, and bury it into the wall. There is a reason only the finest samurai sword makers can make knives for sushi chefs. Furthermore, often the seafood arrives alive and must be subdued, quickly and without pain so its riger mortis cannot spoil the flavor. Until you have had a knife fight with an ahi tuna that has escaped it's tank, don't talk to me about cooking.

>folding
A kebab chef has to fold pita bread which is naturally pliable. Meanwhile a sushi chef must fold seaweed which can break at the slightest touch and will embed razor sharp splinters in your skin. This mastery of lightness is why Sushi Chefs are famed for their sexual prowess in towns like Tokyo and Okinawa, and your Mom's bedroom.

hammersmith? i could probably take a 20 minute bus ride to where you are, but there would be too many ye olde kebabbe shoppes to choose from

>>8275679
underrated funpost

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>>8275765
cont

>cutting
A kebab chef has to use a giant piece of rusted scrap to hack off a chunk of gristly meat for every customer. A Sushi chef must often earn (with the blood of his enemies) a razor sharp knife that could kill him if he's not careful, and must carefully slice off pink slabs of poisonous salmon and hide them beneath rice, which is also poisonous. Nobody notices a sushi chef if he fails because he is dead.


>menu design
Kebab menus are easy to design. Just throw a bunch of cryllic paki arabscript onto a board with a picture of disgusting meatloaf so the drunk retards know what to point at. Japan is known for it's art, as well as the vengefulness of the spirits of those artists as well as their clans. If you improperly represent or befoul the clipart of a japanese artist, the angry ghost of his ancestors may come to curse your home, or he may send ninjas to murder you in your sleep. I have often spent 400 hours merely photoshopping a nori roll to look good for my menu and prevent vengeance killings.

>customer service
Average customer in a kebab shop: 'OI YOU FOCKIN PAKI CUNT GIVE ME MY FOCKIN KEBAB NAAAH SO I CAN WALK 10 FEET AND SPILL HALF OF IT ON ME BIRDS TIGHT TITS'
Average customer in a sushi restaraunt: 'Like OMG look at all this asian stuff do you have any like, california rolls? Anyway this better be perfect or i'll take pictures and put them on facebook and claim you have like, rancid meat.'

pic related it's me.

>>8275679
be mad that your people aren't as smart as the Japanese and made it into shit street food instead of a high class cuisine

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>>8275765

Based nip.

>>8275771
>tfw sushi was originally just shit street food
>tfw they managed to meme it into haute cuisine somehow

>>8275295
daily reminder that 98% of all muslim immigrants are sunniggers

>>8275771
Turkish people are more intelligent than Japanese people on average. This is why

>Japanese have to stay in school 10 hours a day. Turks don't
>Japanese need a strict bushido code because they are too stupid to interpret a guiding text like Muslim Turks do with the Koran
>Japanese are too stupid to increase birth rates
>Japanese are too stupid to join the EU meanwhile Turkey will join this year

>>8275781
it's called sandniggers, idiot

>>8275798

>Japanes less intelligent then arabs.

That's literally not true.

Average IQ for SE asians is like 107, for arabs it's 97

>>8275798
Japanese people are more intelligent than turkish people on average. This is why

>Japanese people have to stay in school 10 hours a day. Turks don't
>Japanese follow a strict bushido code instead of a self contradictory guiding text written by a pedophile like Muslim Turks do with the Koran
>Japanese are intelligent enough they can make robots to do everything for them leading to a lower birthrate and less overpopulation
>Japanese are too smart to join the EU meanwhile Turkey will join this year after disposing of all the refugee corpses they 'handled' for Europe

>>8275775
>>8275771
it's because the average Japanese immigrant has higher goals than "I'll just sell some food lol"

>>8275809
Good god, both your countries IQ's are virtually Neanderthal level.

>>8275801
nah, fucker. It's called sunniggers as in SUNNI muslims. Try going to /sg/ for once and educate yourself beyond /pol/s memes

>>8275826
the fuck is /sg/

>>8275824

The funny thing is that neanderthals were probably smarter than homo sapiens actually.

>>8275798
>Turkish people are more intelligent than Japanese people
BAHAHAHA
>EU
what the fuck are you even doing right now?
>turkey joining the EU
are you drunk?

>>8275768
>underrated
you can fuck right off

>>8275836


>>98504922

>>8275295

When are you removing yourself?

>>8275991

+1 Karadzic to you

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>>8275679

Listen you guys, for all the shitposting in here
>some of which is legit funny
working in a kebab shop or stand is legitimate professional cooking. You have to master the primary skill of a professional chef, which is knowing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at any given and not doing anything lest you fuck everyone else up and the hate your guts.

It's the equivalent of working ina diner, a sub shop, fish and chips, or yes, sushi. it's not haute cuisine, but a good doner cook would be able to slide right into basically any kitchen and learn the ropes in a few days if they're at least 1-2 grades above Filipino-tier in human evolution

>>8276031
>working at a McD is legitimate professional cooking. You have to master the primary skill of a professional chef, which is knowing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at any given and not doing anything lest you fuck everyone else up and the hate your guts.
>It's the equivalent of working ina diner, a sub shop, fish and chips, or yes, sushi. it's not haute cuisine, but a good McD cook would be able to slide right into basically any kitchen and learn the ropes in a few days if they're at least 1-2 grades above Paki-tier in human evolution

>>8276045

McDolan's line experience is worth mentioning if you are trying to get into a real kitchen. You'll still start in the dish pit but it shows you understand the concept of assembly line food production and can do what you're told

>>8276031

He said it was more complicated than being a surgeon m80

>>8276095
he LITERALLY never have said that

>>8276123 see >>8275324
>it takes 6-7 years to finish med school and become a doctor and i'd say it takes even more to become a good kebab chef.

He was probably trolling (can never tell with dumb pakis), but it was indeed said.

>>8276156
he said it lasts longer, not that it's more complicated

>>8276234
Kebab shops buy those elephant legs frozen, it does not take 7+ years to stick one on a spit and carve it.

>>8276243
it takes long to MASTER it, you mong. anyone could make a shitty kebab in a day or two. you need to work there more than 10 years to master it. just as is with sushi.

>>8276262
I do not believe it takes 10 years to master sushi either, kebab shop workers have the same level of skill as a McDonalds fry cook.

>>8276262
just quit posting. saying that it takes longer to fix a kebab than to become a surgeon speaks more for the inability of mudslimes to learns even the simplest tasks than anything else you could have come up with

>>8276274
jiro literally said it takes a lifetime to master making sushi, why would it be any different with kebab

>>8276280
Jiro is a crazy old bastard, his son hates being trapped there.

>>8275481
>a few years ago i applied to an online dating chat and there i met a girl or at least i think it was a girl who was pretending to be someone else. she said she was from York and she wanted to meet so i bought a ticket to York to meet her and when i came here she didn't respond to my messages anymore and just disappeared. when i was at York for 2 days searching for her, i didn't see a single muslim person so you might want to go to York, boss.
why the fuck did noone pick up on this

>>8276280
that's like comparing a nasa engineer to a bicycle mechanic

>>8276286
Because it is more obvious bait than what OP the samurai kebab slicer MD posted.

>>8276280

I doubt people care that much about kebab.

Also, there seem to be lots of factors that apply to sushi that don't exist with kebab. The knife skills. The need for manual dexterity to form the rice ball properly and quickly. The ability to identify the right kind of meat/fish and how to prepare it properly, and so on. Not to mention the sushi chef needs to learn that for dozens of different species whereas the kebab chef only needs to learn it for one.

>>8276293
>Also, there seem to be lots of factors that apply to sushi that don't exist with kebab. The knife skills

you what nigga? the knife skills are so much more important with kebab than with the sushi. just fuck off m8.

>>8276302
>knife skills are so much more important with kebab than with the sushi
you're not even trying anymore

>>8276307
are you fucking retarded? seriously, are you?

with sushi you literally have to slice only one thin piece of fish while with kebab you're using machete to rince meat off of a stick.

tell me, oh master chef, which one is harder? once again, are you fucking retarded?

>>8276316
>with sushi you literally have to slice only one thin piece of fish while with kebab you're using machete to rince meat off of a stick
i want to see some retarded sandnigger try to prepare some fugu then. let's see what takes more skills

>>8276302
http://www.donexe.com/

Fuck off, you lot even use electric slicers with set thickness now.

>>8276327
that's no real kebab. everyone will say you that. if i walk into a kebab restaurant with guy not slicing meat with machete, i would spit into floor and leave. everyone will tell you that. no good kebab restaurant with a star uses that. it is frowned upon.

>>8276326
fugu is not sushi. only nigiri is sushi.

>>8276338
>fugu is not sushi. only nigiri is sushi.
get out already

>>8276338
And most chefs will spit on the floor and leave if they see you preparing the majority of food with a fucking machete. Would you trust a surgeon to operate on you with a machete?

Golden rule of kebabs (in the UK)

If you can see distinct layers of meat on the doner skewer, you're probably alright.

If the doner is one solid mass of grey material, avoid.
Another sure-fire sign of a good kebab place is if they're cooking over actual charcoals.

>>8275328
hes taking the piss obviously.

>>8276367
My golden rule (in Poland) is that if the place isn't run by Turks, avoid. Polish owners are more likely to cheap out on the meat, both in the "serve you less meat than vegetables" way and the "buy the cheapest meat possible and never throw old meat into the trash".

Same rule for chinese/vietnamese food. White guy behind the counter = walk away.

>>8275295
why are all english kebab overpriced and shit...

no really I hope you never make a kebab again

>>8276516
The largest kebab here is £7 here with salad and sauces, not too expensive considering it is a days worth of food.

>>8275402
Are you a retard?

Kebab shops in London are all ran by turks

>>8275809
>Turks
>Arabs
Not the same thing you spastic

>>8276527
7 quid is a rip off

>>8276624
For a days worth of food?

>go to kebab shop
>order burger and chips and chicken nuggets because no McDonald nearby
>go to sushi shop for sushi

Kind of amusing thread, even with the shitposting :-)

>>8275408
>we are all paki here in hammersmith, i am also a paki.

Question: is calling someone a Paki considered rude in Europe, among polite educated people, or when speaking to Pakistani people, or is it perfectly acceptable? I'm American, and assumed it wasn't okay, I'd say "he's of Pakistani descent" rather than "he's a Paki", though I realize that's a bit cumbersome for informal speech, and perhaps reflects an American-specific style of political correctness.

>>8276675

It's on par with nigger for some inexplicable reason

>>8275438
indians are pretty chill

I like it when they call me boss

this is the best thread I've read in a long time

>>8275449
the further north the whiter it gets

>>8275295
how much do you earn a month ? i am genuinely intrested

>>8276243
>Kebab shops buy those elephant legs frozen
crappy ones do

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salad, chili sauce boss?

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>>8276243

>yurocucks

>>8275679
I kek'd heartily at all the buttmad weebs who got triggered by this.

>>8275324
Do you like heavy metal music?

>>8279051
not OP but my brother works as kebab chef and he earns 96000e/year

that's in germany though

>>8275295

How do you make your chilli sauce? Or can yo acquire the same sauce they use in kebab shops for domestic use?

>>8275679
>This mastery of lightness is why kebab chefs are famed for their sexual prowess in towns like Rotherham and Rochdale.

heh

>>8280783
Fuck off, thats an experienced Doctors salary.

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>>8275679
that'a shit kebab skewer made out of minced meat. Lowest of the low.

Real kebab skewers are made out of layered meat slices.

>>8280865
Its usually sambal oelek or harissa with sugar, tomato paste and some oil to reduce heat.

>willingly eating rat meat
europoors are fucking dumb

>>8280929
hence why it takes approximately the same time to become a doctor and good kebab chef

>>8275357
No cum?

Fuck off, will you?

>>8275679
kek, great new pasta

>>8275328
Missing the joke: the post

>>8275357
>No coriander or dill

fuck off

>>8275295
>>8275357

red (spicy) sauce recipe please thank you?

>>8281441
I like the red 'chilli' sauce they use but it has already been mentioned here >>8280952

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Guys what should I order

https://www.doordash.com/store/the-berliner-d-ner-kebab-seattle-59510/?utm_source=google&utm_campaign=gpa

>>8275295
do you even know what the word chef means

chef=/= cook

>>8282230
Guys pls I'm getting off work soon

> the state of these sad fucking cu/ck/s unironically getting worked and responding seriously to obvious b8 by the based pakibro
Holy shit its really this easy?

Im coming here for my (you)s now, you insufferable cunts deserve it

>>8275295
Chicken marinade recipe pls?

>>8275295
I actually wanna try some kebab but I have no clue where in Texas would serve it. Do we even have a gyros or whatever?

>>8275324
>you have to know the exact amount of time to toast the bread perfectly
You have mastered the power of an egg timer

>>8275295
>kebab chef here, living and working in london, hammersmith. ask me anything.

Oi i live there, wheres your kebab place and do you offer justeat

Also what supplier do you use and what seperates your kebab place from the others

>>8275449

Pussy.

>>8275295
What kind of rub or marinade do you use for your meats? Would you be open to sharing the recipe?

>>8275295

>lives in hammersmith
>doesn't make hammers

you aren't living up to your potential

>>8279203
FINEST KEBAB ROLLED OVER HALAL TIMES

Give OP some slack here. He probably work 15 hrs/day. Get like £3/hr. Sleep with 10 other pakis in a small bedroom. Is still a virgin. A guy can brag a little, right?

>>8282812
>>8282421

Bump

>>8282447
not every slice of bread is the same. if you knew what you're talking about, you'd know that.

>>8275295
Fuck off home, paki

>>8275295
What would you order from your menu, given you see what the customer doesn't?

Hey man I live in Wandsworth, wanna become friends?
Also, do you work at Solomon?

>>8275408
I love asking Indians if they are from Pakistan and vice versa, sends em right up the fuckin wall lol