>Schedule pizza order for 20:45
>It comes at 20:38 while im still fapping
>not eating pizza first and then fapping with your greasy hands
>>8268152
Hate when that happens
>>8268158
>not cumming all over your pizza before eating it
>>8268453
>not spurting 2 pathetic droplets and then crying yourself to sleep
happened to me last night, except it was about half an hour early. fucking ridiculous.
I ordered some food for 6:30pm the other night and it arrived at 6pm.
We don't tip in first world countries so the driver didn't miss out on something he wasn't expecting
I filled out the feedback email and the manager called me, i told him he was a cunt and to learn how to read
he wished me a pleasant day, and I had one
>>8269247
>Thinly veiled shot at the US of A
Why are you so jealous of freedom?
>>8268152
if you're not fat or ugly then just answer the door with a boenr the pizza guy (or girl ;)) won't mind. if you are fat or ugly kys
>>8269891
I'm not jealous at all, I am just saying it like it is.
Do you even have a passport? Where have you been?
>>8268152
Relevant This is Not Happening
https://youtu.be/zNlKR2wrGZU
>>8268152
Fuck you just reminded me
>come home drunk as fuck after a "night" out
>hungry, horny
>Decide to treat myself
>Order from my favorite Thai place
>Decide to masturbate while waiting, but wanted to make it nice
>Look for some nice porn and actually use lube
>Feels okay, too drunk to actually enjoy it
>Decide to try this prostate massage shit I heard so much about
>Don't want to get my fingers shitty so I wear a rubber glove and shove a finger up my ass as far as I can
>Not really getting anything from it but continue anyways
>Doorbell rings, fuck those asians are fast, haven't even finished or prepared the money
>Throw on some sweatpants and a T-shirt
>Open the door
>Asian guy looks at me, wearing my shirt inside out, having a huge erection in my sweatpants and a wet spot around it, shit stains below the pocket, wearing a rubber glove with shit on it while someone moans "fuck me daddy"
>He doesn't say anything
>I take my food, hand him a 20 (it was something like 8,50) and close the door
>Too drunk to really care
>finish fapping, disappointing drunk orgasm
>eat my food, it's fucking delicious
>Pass out
>wake up dehydrated as fuck, naked, a shitsmeared rubberglove in my sink
>never order from that place again