>Bite into a nice burger >It falls apart at the seams immediately

>>8226850
it's called using a toothpick.

just stick it in the middle of the burger, it'll hold it together.

Try using a plate. Even pigs use a trough.

>>8226856
>He actually believes in the toothpick myth
Unless it's a junior krabby patty it ain't gonna keep a sandwich together.

>>8226863
>burger is on plate
>pick up burger to eat it
>still slips to shit after the bite because of improper fixings balance
that doesn't solve the problem at all, or did you take OP's statement of "glue drips all over floor and pants" as him not using a plate and table at all?

>>8226876
In order to have it drip onto his clothes, either he is a monster fat or he is craning his head away from the plate and table and eating like a goose.

>>8226886
>he is craning his head away from the plate and table and eating like a goose
as opposed to craning his head over the plate and table and eating like a dog?

>>8226850
>burger novice

you should be constantly resituating the bun to keep it in place

pro tip: hold the bun near the back and keep the burger vertical and eat with your head facing down over top

>>8226850
you're supposed to eat it with a fork and knife desu senpai baka

>>8226893
It works in theory, but a lot of time the restaurants use too much sauce on the burger so it starts burning through the wrapper quickly if you got it vertical like that.
Now the actual good way to eat a burger is to cut it in half and work your way inside out. This reduces the amount of force you subconsciously apply to the burger when you hold it, and therefore it becomes less likely for you to squeeze out the innards with your mon'keigh hands like you do with a catsup bottle.

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Note the wrapper under the burger.
believe it or not, this wrapper serves a purpose other than keeping your food safe from the elements.
It is a basket of sorts, and with it you can Control the contents of your burger.

Use this wisdom wisely, my son, and never again eat a burger sans tomato.

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>>8226850
>glue
Retard.

>>8226910
If you're holding it vertically and pinching the bottom then you should have no problem with sauce. It requires a lot of attention.