I have about $8 and some change to last me a month and no food

Rice, beans, potatoes and dumpster diving

>>8184016
hopefully it wont come to eating literal trash

will potatoes really last that long? Sorry im kind of clueless

>>8184024
Potatoes last a really long time if stored properly. They're also full of vitamins.

You won't last a month on 8 bucks, bro. Time to shoplift, dumpster dive or go to a food bank.

>>8184007
Water. If you can afford that, accept whatever you can get for free. If you can't get enough, >>8184016

>>8184007
Why does this board attract so many homeless people?

Have you tried panhandling?

>>8184040
not homeless yet

>begging
no but if it comes to that, ill try it

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A job loser.

>>8184065
This

>>8184065
im working on it.
Even if I got a job tomorrow, i'd likely starve before I even got paid. It still takes a month

A job would be great though

>>8184007
It's harvest season. Anyone with an apple tree where you live?

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OP is gonna lose some weight lol

>>8184093
>cancel internet
>get $30 prorated cheque
>eat for rest of month
>use jobless free time to consider life choices that got you where you are today

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>>8184007
Go donate plasma. Pick up cans on the road. Go to a homeless shelter and ask to work for a meal, or actually pretend to be homeless if you're good at lying and can dress the part.

>>8184093
Job doing shit job at restaurant or fast food where you can gorge your ass off on free food before you get your check. Fast food places are always, and I mean always, hiring.

>>8184007
Go to a food pantry/kitchen
They'll help you out
Give back what you take when you get back on your feet

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>>8184007
>cut internet
>but slices of bread and cheese , or mayonese.
or the kind of poor food "picadillo"

i survived argentina's 2001 crisis that way as a little kid

>>8184007

Go buy some knee pads.

>>8184330
more like
>cancel internet
>now owe $700 early termination fee

>>8184024
>hopefully it wont come to eating literal trash

Don't knock dumpster diving until you've tried it. If you're smart about the dumpsters you can find clean, good food.
You can also find shit that's worth money at the pawn shop. I'm not bullshitting here.

t. Fully employed individual who goes dumpster diving weekends as a hobby.

Rice
/thread

>>8184007
whys that kitty so mad

ramen

>>8185613
they tryin to take his skittles

>>8184007
Catholic Charities(and other church groups), food pantries and soup kitchens, spend some time at a fucking library and learn you local wild edibles, roll by a corn field at night.


If you are going hungry in a first world nation you are fucking retarded.

>>8184353
>Go donate plasma
this is about the quickest way to earn a few bucks. bonus is you'll get free juice and cookies when you're done (at least where i go). downside is the first time takes several hours due to having to go through a medical exam

pretend to shop and eat while you do so. it happens often at grocery stores and superwalmarts so employees most likely won't bother you. what i've done is go to walmart and grab a buggy, head to the deli, get some popcorn chicken, walk around putting shit in the buggy as i eat, then leave everything in an aisle and head out. don't do this too often and you'll be fine. i usually leave the food container several aisles away from the buggy just to be on the safe side.

you can go to a restaurant, order water, fill up on bread, and stall for time. let the server know that you're waiting on someone and to feel free to ignore you until they arrive. if they have a bar just sit there since it's dickish to take up a table. depending on how many restaurants you have in your area you should be able to hit them all up over a few days. that'll probably be it for that tactic, but you said it's just for a month.

if you want to try something a bit more risky with a better payout then place two orders for pizza at relatively close addresses (we would do it for two different apartments in our complex). you'll have to stake out the area and wait for the delivery driver, but basically you steal the one pizza out of the car while he's going up to deliver the first one.

community pantries are great, that's what they're there for. call a church if you can't find one.

soup kitchens are excellent, you just walk in and eat, no questions asked.

>>8185802
additionally, if you plan on stealing food and removing it from the store as opposed to eating it on the premises then hit up dollar stores. you can find canned tuna, sardines, etc. it's very easy to shoplift at those places because the staff is woefully underpaid and some of the least attentive retail employees anywhere.

you can always eat half a meal at a restaurant and make a complaint about it so that you get a free meal. this works very well at fast food places, especially the ones in the nice part of town. they'll offer to remake it, but just say you've lost your appetite and would rather have a refund. i've never had this lose.

speaking of fast food restaurants, go through the parking lot and look for receipts. take it inside and claim that a certain item wasn't given. this is hit or miss, but most fast food managers won't fuck with a customer and will just make it even if they think they're being scammed. again, don't pull that shit at a hood restaurant because you wouldn't be the first and you probably won't get shit.

>>8185802
I know that my local plasma center pays like $20 the first donation, then $50 the second because they can't use your blood unless you donate twice. It's a little uncomfortable, but assuming you don't have anything that bars you from donating, it's not that bad.

Also supposedly bakeries around closing time is a good shot for dumpster diving

>>8185837
yeah, some are good for dumpster diving, but a lot of them donate their food to homeless shelters. in fact, not one of the four bakeries in my area throw out any food. a guy drives to them every night at closing and takes away bags and boxes full of food. but at least i know the homeless shelter has some tasty nighttime treats.

>>8185837
Not OP but is there a way to trick the scales for the exam? Like can I just wear weights in my shoes or is it one of those naked exams?

I'm slightly under the weight requirement just due to me being small and haven't asked to see if they're willing to fudge it.

>>8185993
I don't remember if I could keep my shoes on or not, but I know I definitely didn't take off non-shoe clothes (at my location at least)

>>8184024
I make home fries and potatoes usually last me a week or a week and a half.

>>8185999
Got it so i can just put some around my legs in baggy pants or something. I'm like 7-10lbs off and I bet that they are pretty strict.

>>8186029
i know from donating blood that they're strict about weight requirements, but plasma is a bit different.

also, drink a gallon of water the night before you go to sell plasma. the process is faster if you're fully hydrated.

>>8185837
>Also supposedly bakeries around closing time is a good shot for dumpster diving
I used to live with a guy who worked next door to a bakery. He raided their dumpster regularly and we lived for months on pastries and bread once. The stuff was perfectly good. I think they caught onto him though because they started locking their dumpster.

Literally rice. Can get a 10 lb bag easy. That'll keep you alive for a month.

Go out and collect cans. Buy beans with cans. Mix with rice. Easy.

I had no idea there were this many deadbeats on /ck/

Also spy on grocery stores and when they throw away food (mainly bakery food). There's some pretty strict requirements, and the food is generally still good to eat, even from a dumpster

>>8186061
shit happens and sometimes good people run out of money for a short amount of time. fuck off if you don't like it

>>8186063
I worked with a man who used to be the retail side manager at a Wal-Mart. He told me they would routinely dispose of buggies full of food that had been returned. Not just the food found in odd places throughout the store, but actually returned. And his particular store manager would always okay a food return even if it had been open.

So, try that. Buy some food, eat a bit, take it back.

>>8186080
I'm sure these people have iphones, icomputers, cable, internet, Netflix, water, electricity, etc

These people are already on welfare and will continue to be subsidized unless they cull the root of the problem rather than treating the symptoms

>>8186103
OP here to say

Im not on welfare of any kind. Electricity and Internet get disconnected on the 17th. Water at about 10 days from now and I couldnt pawn off this busted tablet if I taped a dollar to the screen

You know nothing about people on welfare

>>8184007
Get 8 bucks worth of rice.
Look on Craig's list for a "free to good home" dog.

>>8184007
Rice is good because it looks like there isn't a lot of corns but when you cook it it turns out it's much more rice than you expected

>>8185613
He a good boy he dindunuthins

>>8186214
> Im not on welfare of any kind.
why not? too stupid to fill the forms?

>>8186293
personal choice

ive actually been scraping by fine until now

>>8184093
If you're overweight you can just not eat. There was a study where a fat guy fasted for over a year and it wasn't detrimental to his health

>>8184007

Flour.

>>8184007
Ramen

Amazing value for money, can put it with literally any ingredients you can get, actually tastes good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qKJS-8bzoA

>>8184007
go to a food bank or a church soup kitchen

>>8186398
Bullshit. That would destroy your stomach and I assume entire digestive tract

>>8184007

Time to go to the food bank. Don't let your hubris get in the way of a hot meal. With that 8 dollars you can get a hefty amount of rice, maybe some dried beans.

sell your computer then never return to /ck/ ever again.

>>8184093
Or you can just get your bank account 'in the red', it's not like you're actually living on the edge of life.

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>>8184024
There is this fat dude that has been eating nothing but potatoes since the beginning of the year. He has lost a bunch of weight

>>8186248

spotted the chink

>>8184007
89 cent eggs and frozen veggies from WalMart. Omelettes for days.

>>8184007
Look for fruit trees around your area
Ask for handouts at a church

kill yourself

People can survive 3-5 weeks without eating

a month, 8$. wow your fucked, get the 5ibs bag of rice. and start searching for change.

Contact public services where you live and explain that you're out of money and food. Get emergency food relief.

>>8186859
donate blood, and find someone to borrow off. never donated, but I imagine not much to it. pass out in the paking lot, come to, go to mc'ds. day labor is nice if you can find it. door to door work of some kind.

>>8186875
pawn something. :)

Serious advice, what >>8186873 said. If you live in the US it's very hard to starve for more than a week.

>>8186881
food bank. church. shelter.

>>8186899
not much into eating, but some people like it. :P

>>8185786
>>8186267
I think somebody is being mean to that kitty and it makes me mad kitties dont respond like that unless their being mistreated >:(

>>8186911
it's the ole skittles torture, poor kitty.

>mfw I'm a college student making $15 an hour

Pretty funny that I have more money in my bank account than most Americans working full time.

Retards.

>>8186471
the story is legit, but he was monitored by health professionals the whole time and supplemented vitamins.

going a month without eating for a fatty is possible aside from the fact that they're fat and therefore lack will power

>>8186984
i guarantee you don't have as much debt to pay down or bills and responsibilities as most adults either.

>>8184007
You can usually get 5 pound bags of potatoes at the grocery store for ~$1.50.

>>8188393
Can confirm, just bought a 2kg bag for a loonie.

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>>8184433
>pawn shops

what have you found in those dumpsters? There's one near my office that I browse in sometimes but I've never gone diving anywhere

During harvest time. You can get 50# of potatoes for around 8$ .

>>8184007
Can't you just ask a couple of friends for like, 10 bucks each?

>>8184007
Coupon the fuck out of your last purchases, drink lots of water out of fountains, and go for starches. Rice, beans, potatoes, tortillas, noodles, etc. Follow the advice of everyone else on this thread - put aside your pride and save your life.

>>8185993
>I'm slightly under the weight requirement just due to me being smal
There's a good reason they have requirements, anon. The risks to your health aren't worth $20. You'd be spending more in hospital fees.

>>8186299
You definitely should. Not worrying about how you're going to eat every month will take a huge load off of your shoulders and allow you to prevent money situations like these in the future. No one is going to judge you for it. And even if some asshole would, you need to be able to eat my dude.

>>8184007
get a bag of rice and steal a jug of olive oil.

>>8186984
Ah, yes, cause everyone can just make the same amount of money. And also that money is worth the same in different states.

Dumbfuck.

>>8184007
4-6 dozen eggs + however much rice and beans

>>8189491
actually scratch that, I'd get a bag of potatos, 6 dozen eggs, and a jar of cheap oil if this was my situation

Buy some bleach and drink it to end your misery.

>>8184007
>look presentable
>go to olive garden
>load up on first bread basket and water
>act very unsure of what you should get
>ask for a second basket
>either pocket it all and bail or milk it one more time

And never go back. Swoop every similar place you can find.

>>8186085
not a bad idea, some stores will do returns even if you've eaten some.
You could try buying meat, eating some and then putting something on the rest to make it look suss, and then returning it.

>>8184007
pack of smokes and some gum

>>8186875
Donating blood is really inefficient if you're starved for calories.

RICE RICE RICE. a shitload of rice, fill every container in your house with water as well. you probably have spices and sauces, if you want to flavour the rice put those in.
also dumpster diving. as long as it's not fish and it smells good then eat it. canned foods and noodles and dry shit will last forever.

>>8189506
Eating leftovers at fast food places is another one. Tell any staff that approach you while you're on stakeout that you're waiting for someone to text you with their order, keep looking like you're on your phone.

No risky shit, you're eating stuff that's about to be put in a bin so some employees might cut you a break even if they figure you out.

You can't die from not eating you fucking mong

>>8190588
Yeah when was the last time an american even starved too death in america

>>8190720
Today.

>>8184007
Is this cat's name Lola?

>>8190757
Bailey

>>8190884
OK thnks

>>8184007

The key to success is finding the right situation. Ideally, a guy that is in charge of throwing older food out that also has some tasks in his job description that are somewhat menial and distasteful. A perfect example is a 7-11 night manager. They throw away old sandwiches and pastries every day. Approach him and offer to do some of the work (cleaning the lot, washing the windows etc..) in exchange for the expired food. This way he isn't paying you anything, gets some of his work done for him, and instead of throwing the stuff away, gives it to you. Basically, any place that has to dispose of food has the potential for scoring some of it.

>>8191656
>Approach him and offer to do some of the work

that shit doesnt work in 2016

if it was 1980 you could do shit like this but now theres strict regulation they dont let you give away expired food because someone could get sick or let someone work who isnt actually being payed because they can get in trouble for that too

>>8184007
My answer assumes you are American. I apologize if you've stated otherwise, thread is tl;dr

water. Walmart has a 20lb bag of store brand rice listed for 8.92. Scrape up some change outside, recycle some cans, you can get the extra buck in change.

202 servings in the bag across 30 days works out to 6.7 servings a day, a little over 1000 calories. I've run a deficit that worked down to this in the past when I was almost 200lbs at 6' (young male). Got down to 160 quickly, hunger was manageable with stimulants, intense focus on classes and projects. Will be easier if you don't do stupid amounts of exercise like I was doing every day too (do as little movement as possible, drink warm tap water rather than cold)

ALSO
If you want to treat yourself OP, periodically visit grocery stores for free samples from different suppliers to the store. Wholesale clubs and Traders Joes are always doing this, other grocery stores there's a good chance on sunday early afternoons which is the busiest time for shopping. Free cookies from bakery departments are nice too. Also if there's a mall near you, the food court can be a nice place for samples too. Asian food vendors are the best for that.


t. /fit/izen & grocery store meat clerk

>>8184433
Haha this loser eats trash sandwiches.

go to bakeries and ask for their old bread

>>8184093
get a job in a restaurant, maybe as a dishwasher, and then you'd get free meals

>>8186103
You're sure?

>>8186293
>too stupid to fill the forms
>to fill the forms
Looks like you're the stupid one..

>>8184024

you can go to the food bank, too. the one i've volunteered at hands out some good stuff.

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>>8184007
Eggs, noodles, juice. (protein, carbs, vitamins/dairy, starch, fruit)
>or try this
Flour, sugar, eggs, fruit (use sugar to make icing, add fruit, make bread, scrambled egg, etc. - fruits make good snacks)

Search YouTube videos for eating cheap. There have to be millions of tutorials for eating cheap out there.
Look for free hand outs. Don't be afraid to hang out in the store for a bit to pass some time.
You don't have to buy something every time you enter a store...

You could also try that kale grass shot shit or some health food juice fast/detox.

>You need to drink plenty of water. Make the most out of your peril.

>>8186103
Just gonna chime in and say I'm perpetually broke but work 2 jobs because I made terrible life decisions and am paying off many thousands in credit card debt and also child support for illegitimate children I have. Don't get any welfare in any case.

>>8184007
Potatoes, onions, and cabbage.

We have this thread every fucking day
Buy rice pasta potatoes beans
Ramen is a meme
Eggs are a meme
Peanut butter is good
/thread

>>8184007
assuming you don't live in california do you want a job anon? it pays 13.50 an hour

I would honestly recomend living off of noodles for the month.

You have 0.26 dollars per day, so you might be able to buy enough noodles to eat two packs a day.

This should provide around 1000 calories a day.

>>8186676
>not going to the super discount store and buying a dozen eggs for 50 cents
Feel bad for you anon
I can literally buy like 10 dozen cheap shit eggs and have mayo, meringue and omelettes all the time every week.

>>8194123
you will die if you do this

>>8194129
>>not going to the super discount store and buying a dozen eggs for 50 cents
that's not a thing everywhere.

>>8186554
Alot of that looks like water wt. He'd probably be better off just doing rice and veg

>>8184007
Pray, get right with God, suck some dick for cash or meals, whatever, then plan better next month. Save up so you can buy dry goods in bulk, stick with decent nutrition and calories for the price. Rice and beans.

>>8194390

He would definitely get sick and eat through his stash early but there is good potential for surviving..

>>8194390
Its two weeks, he wouldn't die. Uncomfortable? Yes. He's gonna have a great beach bod though.

>>8194087
>assuming you don't live in california

what are the odds? Tell me about it anyway while I still have a connection

>>8184007
Just fast.

I fasted for 32 days once it's not that bad after the first week you really forget about food and go into kind of a fugue state and time passes quite quickly.

Also just in case my connection DOES die before I see anything else. Thanks to everyone who offered advice.

Even the edgelords and trolls for bumping this shit thread.

I found a kitten 2 days ago so my $8 went down to $6 for catfood but I got rice and potatoes and working on the beans. A church I didnt even know existed gives on food once a week so I think I wont actually die from this but i'll probably keep all this 'don't die' knowledge for the rest of my goddamn life

I would get a bag of rice. then head to the 99cent store and buy lentils and some tuna. Ideally, a costco membership should be in your line of sight for the future OP. You can get a 60 count of eggs for like 5 bucks.

Are you in the US? Go to a food pantry you stupid nigger. They have so much food these days they have to throw most of it away.

What's so bad about dying?

>>8194516
Just get welfare if you can dude, I'm not an ameribro but your situation is exactly why it exists
Post cat pictures if you can btw

>>8184421
I wouldn't advise on doing this long term, I did and gained a bunch of weight that took a while to get off.

>>8184007
Ignore everyone, strap on a pair of both balls and good boots and gloves, and go dumpster diving. I do it every weekend as a hobby, and I get more high quality food than I can even eat, not to mention the pawnable items, and I'm fully employed, you simpering pussy.

Ameritardland: 40% edible food, wasted. Absolutely true as anyone who ever glanced in a dumpster knows.

Donate plasma and dumpster dive for recycles. Cans make the most.

Soup kitchens are always a good option, and if you have to, find your local foodstamp office and apply for emergency foodstamps. Emergency stamps have a three day max time limit, if you don't get them that same day.

>>8194521
costcos suck ass now, check out Grocery Outlets.

>>8185777
Trips of truth

>>8184007
>>8184093
Apply for unemployment/ foodstamps while you're looking for work.

If you can't get that for some reason, you can try looking up foodbanks/pantries or soup kitchens in your area.

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>>8184007
buy oatmeal
lots of oatmeal
1)cheap as fuck in big packages
2)no need for milk but buy milk if you can
3)^I've lived like this for 30 days you can do it for like 15

>>8184007
eat the cat

>>8194836
Except the food takes on the smell of trash and is fucking disgusting

>>8185795
this the only correct answer for your situation just head down to local churches in your area and slum it up for a bit. also try to go down to a ready labor center and try to earn a few buck to grab a few cheap bags of rice and potatoes

>>8184093
As someone who works at a grocery store and I'm used to having to live off the bare minimum from college, I'd make friends with roman noodles and water. if you got a cup, you can microwave the roman noodles. if you're really stressed for cash, I'd start couponing if I were you or donate shit if you're healthy enough

>>8195246
take the time out on trash day and root through garbage and get all the recycling you can.
it's illegal but if ur strapped for cash that much a shopping cart worth of crushed cans is enough

>>8184007
Giving a man a fish will feed him for Two days atleast teach a man to fish will feed him forever.
Buy a fishing Rode.

>>8195335
>roman noodles

So are those like the roman candle firework item, just more wobbly?

>>8190475

couldn't you just drink your own blood?

>$8 and some change
Isn't 8 bucks some change?

>>8184007
P O T A T O E S
O
T
A
T
O
E
S

>>8194501
https://www.leapforceathome.com/qrp/public/jobs/list
work at home job, do search engine work using your computer and mobile phone. mostly monotonous but requires attention to detail and being serious about the test as it is quite difficult to pass, not the first one but the second one they give you.

>>8190475
donate plasma

>>8194521

>Tuna on an $8 budget

Getting a carton of eggs is way more nutritious and satisfying than a can of tuna.

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>>8184007

How the fuck do you even get into this situation? Fucking faggot OP cant manage his money. Stop buying dumb shit.

If you can shitpost on shitty ass 4shit, you can afford have more than $8. Fucking useless immature fucking faggot.