I literally do not know how to cook at all. Teach me the easiest

>>8146116
Pasta and other one pot meals are pretty easy. If you can follow directions you can cook those.

>>8146116
Pasta is easiest I started with that it taught me about spices. I personally moved on to cooking eggs in whatever way to learn technique and it helped with my pan frying.

Easiest is just pick something you enjoy eating and look up recipes for it to follow. As you move along try making changes to existing recipes and maybe incorporate something you saw in a movie or tv or some shit.

>>8146116
Buy a rice cooker, fry some veggies on a pan.
Steak, sausages on a hot pan.
Go to seriouseat dot com
Experiment

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>>8146116
>I literally do not know how to cook at all.
Not at all? C'mon, you must be joking.

Real advice though:
1. You can find anything on the internet. Look for tutorials on youtube. Just look for "basic cooking techniques" or "cooking for beginners" or something among those lines.
2. Most supermarkets will have some kind of magazine you can pick up for free. Usually they have some pretty decent yet easy recipes in there. Pick up a few from your local supermarkets and simply follow the instructions.
3. Proper use of spices and seasonings makes the difference between a good meal and a great meal. Figure out what spices you like.
4. Practice makes perfect. Don't be discouraged if what you produce the first few times isn't tasty. Instead try to learn what you did wrong so you can avoid that mistake next time.

>What did you learn first
My first ever homecooked meal was a fried egg on toast. Yeah, that's incredibly simple but you gotta start somewhere.

>favorite thing to cook
Hachis Parmentier, though I only got it right after the third or fourth time.

>>8148424
This sounds incredibly easy.

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>>8146116

>>8146116
I started with omelettes.

Just read the damn manual.

https://github.com/bibanon/bibanon/wiki/Cooking

>>8146116
I started with eggs, like a lot of people. I think eggs make a good entry point because they force you right off the bat to not bury yourself in guidelines and use your eyes and intuition to know when they're properly cooked.

>>8146116
Get a crock pot when you feel more ambitious. Lots of one pot recipes that only require you to do basic preparation and measure ingredients, then you slap it in the thing and wait.

>>8148642
They're also cheap as shit, like $1 / dozen large eggs at my local supermarkets most of the time.

You can afford to screw them up a few times at that price point.

After eggs then I'd move onto box dinners like hamburger helper or zatarain's, then onto simple soups, stews, and casseroles.

Several people have suggested eggs, which is fine. But I claim that bacon is even easier. My first experience at cooking was even under real-life conditions, at the army's catering service. I had to cook bacon and eggs for twelve people, who ultimately didn't arrive. The eggs had black spots and weren't tasty anymore. But I managed to produce twelve slices of crispy bacon for each one of us on duty at the casino. Young men that we were, we wolfed it all down without any ill effects. That tought me basic handling of a stove, after which everything else is really just step-by-step directions.

>>8148642
>force you right off the bat to not bury yourself in guidelines
But in terms of boiling eggs, there are very clear-cut guidelines. You start by boiling the water, then add the eggs. 3 minutes for soft, 5 for medium, 7 for hard.

Frying an egg on the other hand is pretty reliant on technique and intuition. But that's just my experience. As for scrambling them, I still can't get that right. It sounds simple (scramble, then fry) but getting it nice and fluffy isn't easy.

>>8146116
dont start with recipes.
look up on youtube how to properly cut shit: beef, meet, veggies.
start with pan frying. learn how to consistently fry eggs: scrambled, sunny side, omellette. just do it.

while you do this, here's the basics of pan frying shit. easy as fuck tier basic process that'll lay the foundation for pretty much every other skill/recipe:
>fry chopped garlic
>add chopped whatever, meat or veggies
>season to taste
>don't burn, overcook, undercook that shit

When you're comfortable doing whatever else, move on to recipes or other specific skills.

>>8146116
get pan
put on heat
put butter in pan
put egg in pan
wait
flip egg
wait
take egg out (not with hands)
eat egg

>>8148965
Everyweek. 2 boxes of Zatarians spice jambalaya for $3, and 1lb savioe' sausage made over in Opelousas for $4. A few days of a meal for $7, and it's quite spicy. Good addition would be some tiger sauce.

Scrambled eggs are incredibly easy to make.
Just crack a couple eggs into a bowl, add a bit of S+P, add a splash of cream or milk, stir with a whisk or a fork, then just pour it into a hot pan and constantly stir it with a spatula.

>>8149097
>3,5,7

What?

I don't know if it has to do with elevation or something but it's 8,10,12 for me.
Unless your talking about poached eggs, then nevermind.

>lie and say you know how to cook pretty much everything
>get a job as a line cook at a restaurant (not fast food or microwave based cooking)
>copy everything the mexicans and oldtimers do, and excuse your mistakes by saying you're in recovery
>either get good or get fired
>either way, you'll actually have 90% more experience than everyone else next time you apply, and 100% more confidence at home in the kitchen

>>8149137
> fry chopped garlic
THIS is the first task you give to someone who's never cooked before? fucking moron.

>>8150292
Sounds like the best way to go about it.

>>8150292
DESU the optimal way to get into cooking is just to have a grandparent who really likes and emphasizes cooking. My mema had me making shrimp etouffee from scratch before I was driving. She's starting to get older now and can't remember certain things, but she can recite her recipes no problem. Even gifted me her cookbook that she has had for almost 40 years.

>>8146116
Spending time around your grandma(if she is still alive) or your mother as long as there good cooks.That's how I learned anyways OP

>>8146116
Eggs. Learn heat control and timing

>>8148597
>hachis Parmentier

Shepherd's pie, Anon. You made shepherd's pie.

>>8146116
think of the thing you would like to eat the most, no matter how complicated, find a recipe online and do it.
first thing i ever cooked because i wanted to, was a very complex tonkotsu ramen with marinated softboiled eggs and chashu porkbelly. It gave me confidence and every ape can follow a recipe.