Post food tips your mom gave you. If you have some bananas that

>>8141358

Dont you ever make banana bread?

a pinch of salt in your vinegar makes your oven boil faster

Start of the week, cut up a few onions and caramelize them in bulk. Store them. Takes an hour, mostly don't have to watch them. Saves hours of cooking through the week and is pretty tasty.

>>8141361
actually kek'ed

put food in mouf

also
>not placing them in the fridge when they get speckled

sorry, my mom didn't teach me this one - it's just common sense.

dont buy more bananas than you'll be able to eat before they go bad.

>>8141362
How do you caramelize onions for an hour without watching them much? Genuinely curious

Using a potato peel to keep my tobacco fresh,

keep a jar of marmalade around but never use it

>>8141380
not same anon but you can caramelize onions in the oven pretty easy with minimum stirring every 15 minutes at 400 degrees but you can also just cook onions at high heat and add 2 table spoons of water when it gets too brown/dry at the bottom and your onions will be done in 15 minutes anyways. oven takes a few hours though like 1-2 hrs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=057XTJGWHUM

To tell how done a steak is, find a friend and if it feels like their cheek, it's rare; if it feels like their chin, it's medium; if it feels like their forehead, it's well done.

>>8141358
>you can put them in the freezer until your next move
...what? What the fuck do old frozen bananas have to do with moving?

>>8141434
Why do you need someones head? Couldn't you just use your own?

File: frodo.jpg (89KB, 400x399px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 400x399px

>>8141449
oh that makes perfect sense. why did i ever trust that old bat.

>>8141358
Just flambe them or mash them up. Freezing them is just retardo-mode.

>>8141449
Why would you want to knife yourself?

>>8141441
you have to take them out of the freezer when the fridge gets unplugged, so they'll last until you move out.

Instead of saving leftovers for lunch the next day, save the meal you were going to eat and have the leftovers instead!

>>8141529
Nasty. You end up ruining the meal you were about to have while not gaining anything for the leftovers.

>>8141495
>inviting people over to stab them
Finn detected

Always rinse off your non-ground meat, in case any bits got left stuck to it in the butchering/packaging process.

Add a couple tablespoons of water to the pan when oven baking porkchops.

>>8141358
For bonus points, take the peels off before you freeze them. They're a lot easier to use that way, versus chipping off frozen peels or having to heat up water to warm the peel up.

>>8141434
they taught me that when I worked at Hoss's for a week.

>>8141358
>you can put them in the freezer until your next move
What if you own your house and don't plan on moving? And why would you take your bananas with you when you move?

>>8141358

Freeze everything, and boil expired milk

>>8141609
you don't take them with you. you throw them out with the rest of the shit your dumbass mom has been hoarding.

another tip she taught me is keep all your old batteries and let them explode over time and get toxic powder everywhere. women are stupid.

>>8141611
>boil expired milk
how come?

>>8141639
Makes it safe to drink again, then you can freeze it until you need it.

>>8141657
>freezing milk

no thanks

>>8141657
i don't boil but i usually add honey and protein powder to my milk, keeps it fresh for for an extra month.

>>8141611
you can freeze milk if you have too much

throw an old penny into any stew for good bacteria

>>8141358
All of the tips I have acquired have been independent of my mother, who does not really cook.

To be on topic, she taught me how to make a good grilled cheese.

>>8141372
I buy a bunch so when they turn brown I can make banana bread or muffins or ice cream

>>8141362
How do you store them? Freeze? Refrigerate? How long do they refrigerate for? Do you put them in jars like jam?

>>8141772
in bags.

>>8141434
when i started working broil i was taught the same principle based on the butts of different built chicks
>sloppy butt
>juicy butt
>firm butt
>fit butt
>athletic butt

>tfw everyone thinks im buttlord because i learned my temps in one shift
>never touched a girl's butt

if you fuck up or scorch a pan, boil it with detergent for 5 mins and that shit comes right off.

>>8141792
yeah and I learned on a ballsack. problem is, can't use your tongue to test the steak's firmness. Used a meat thermometer instead.

Don't distract her with oral or the food will burn.

>>8141358
If you have a bunch of food that's about to go bad you can mix it into a soup and your stupid relatives will eat it

If you have some food with mold on it you can just cut the moldy part off and eat the rest. Come on, it's fine. It's still good! Just eat it you little shit, I spent good money on that!

>>8141360
Who ever has enough bananas getting overripe at once without buying them specifically for the purpose of banana bread?
I freeze the odd overripe banana here and there until I have enough in the freezer to make a batch of banana bread.

You don't have to use so much plastic wrap to cover up food. You know how much that costs? Pennies?! Well it adds up! When you move out if you waste so much plastic wrap you will be poor! Then you'll see! Then you'll see!

>>8141932
True for hard dense foods, like salamis, cheese.
False for soft, mushy, porous foods, like strawberries, sponge cake, just fruits in general.

If your frying oil is to hot, throw some ice cubes in it to cool it down.

Great thread idea OP. I have much wisdom to share from my mother.

Always buy the largest size of everything. That way you won't run out for several years, or possibly ever. It's horrible to run out of things, and you're actually *saving* money by buying in bulk and paying a lower unit price.

Instead of throwing away old leftovers, just microwave them every few days until boiling. This will kill any pathogens or flavour that might be in your food.

think about throwing a few things out if you and the people you cook for get stomach poisoning. clean the sticky parts of the fridge, too.

>>8141754
kekd

>>8141358
your pasta water has to be as salty as the sea and if you throw a nuudle to the wall it should stick - original ragu bolognese contains ground beef, tomatopaste and heavy cream, nothing else of that hipster shit

>>8141358
cook everything to shit or else your kids will die in their sleep

>>8141358
make sure you serve everything piping hot so that the family has to spend more time with you

make sure your kids overeat when they're young so that you're not the only obese one in the family.

>>8141358
>only use knives that are barely sharp enough to get the job done, it's safer!
my mom was not a very good cook.

>>8141626
Maybe she's trying to make meth. Or is that just from car batteries?

>>8141381
What the what

Go on

>>8141796
I feel like that may be trolling, I'm not sure.

>>8141955
>Instead of throwing away old leftovers, just microwave them every few days until boiling. This will kill any pathogens or flavour that might be in your food.

You dont reheat food more than once ever EVER. I now realize that i dont know why, but its what my mom says

>>8142298
>what is portioning off exactly how much you mean to eat

apparently those super ripe, mushy bananas make GREAT banana cream pie

>>8142298
>I now realize that i dont know why
Are you serious? It turns it to flavorless mush.

>>8142688
Your mom thinks I make a great cream pie

Never heat up a pot or pan with nothing in it. That ruins it for some reason.

>>8142699
This is true to an extent for pans with non-stick lining.

>>8141358
Don't leave a metal utensil in the fridge or else it will poison the food.

>>8141670

>what is ice cream?

>>8142719
Try to make some ice cream using just milk and let me know how that goes

>>8141522
>fridge freezer
>not chest freezer
where do you keep the bodies?

>>8141358
>not making banana bread or banana chocolate chip muffins

bitch,

>>8141934
yeah, i only freeze maybe one banana per bunch, if it gets too bruised to sit out or w/e. takes me a few months to get enough to use

>>8142221
It confuses the tobacco

>>8142799
>Not making banana ice cream
bitch

>>8141380
Just let them sit in a pot full of caramel until they absorb the desired amount

Also, when you mince garlic, let it sit for 10 minutes before exposing it to heat so that the healthy enzymes have time to form

>>8141522
>not renting a refrigerated moving van
Are you even a chef?

>>8141657
Why bother freezing it if you can just keep boiling it whenever it goes bad?

>>8141358
In México, we peel them, stab them with a stick, cover them with chocolate and then freeze them
bretty gud

>>8141934
I do, but it's because I make magic banana bread and I used 4 bananas instead of the usually three and a ton of cannabutter. Shit is bitchin and some people tell me they can't event taste the weed in it, but I definitely can.

Condiments never go bad. Sure the label might say it's three years expired, but it's really not.

>>8142840
also good

>>8141364
speckled is the goat ripeness

>>8141372
No one taught me this one: pick several bananas off different bunches of various ripeness levels so every day there will be a couple that are just right.

>>8141358
If your food is spoiled/moldy, you can still eat it. Your life isn't worth that much anyway.

if you have a freezer that is unattended for months on end (ex a cottage) freeze a container of water and put a coin on top, if you come back to find that the coin is in the ice you know that the power went out and the food is no good

>>8141380
I do it stovetop with the lid on, low heat. A little olive oil in the pan first. If the heat is low enough you don't really have to watch them, just check occasionally and stir around. It's pretty hard to ruin them at low heat and they won't burn with a little oil to start. As they cook they'll release enough juices to avoid ever burning.

>>8141772

I put them in a jar in the refrigerator. Just one of those tomato sauce jars I washed and reuse for a few different things. They keep for a good while, about 2 weeks easy.

>>8144029
smart

>>8141381
use an orange peel u fuckin cunt

>>8144154
don't talk to me like that ever again

>>8144165
sorry mom

>>8141380
just put a bunch of cut up onions in a large pot on a stovetop. leave em, and stir occasionally. if you're worried about burning add some water

>>8144165
Hey, my mom's new husband says that to people all the time! Sven, is that you?

File: image.jpg (381KB, 950x1344px) Image search: [Google]

381KB, 950x1344px

She told me to not eat too much or I'll end up a fatty.

quick tip: if you have a box cutter blade, you can slash lots of fruit in the produce section, and it's undetectable at first, but within a few days it'll have a festering rot in it, the skin rots last. happened to me once and i've been doing it ever since. never caught. i opened a banana and it was all black mush in the center and the peel had a clean slice through it. doing this, you can waste a lot of peoples money and annoy them. heh heh heh.

>>8144179
>>8144295
Yeah, that's me, ya boy Sven. Glad we're all on an understanding, put a potato peel in yo tobacco

>>8144029
Pretty clever.

>>8141381
hee Tinus, heb je zware shag?

>>8144893
are you talking shit to me, lil bitch?

File: 1443123843628.jpg (46KB, 530x376px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 530x376px

>>8141360
>tfw you get the banana bread just right

>>8144315
some hippiefag dumpsterdivers do this because it makes the stores throw out good produce too (to make sure). After closing they fish all the good stuff out of the bin and take it home.

>>8144315
and your mom taught you this? she's a cunt.

>>8144315
Sunburn is not a problem you face, is it?

>>8141381
Use an orange peel fagit

mom
>bpxed everything is easier
>frozen veggies and fresh taste the sane but frozen are less work
>too much redsauce doesnt exist
>ramen noodles are valid dinners
Stepdad
>if you fuck up my wok i will hurt you
>steak has 2 stages, uncooked, and well done, and i always cook ot well done
>its yourfault the knives are dull despite you being the one to sharpen tjem when we dull them
>hotsauce in everything
>heres how to cook eggs. (He always overcooked omlettes. His way is bad.)
Grandma
>lasagna is amazing (hers wasnt. Dry and no ricotta, but normally i love it)
>Spaghetti is amazing
>dont let a blind woman on oxygen cook
>dull knives are safer
Grandpa
>heres how to sharpen a knife
>heres how to cook a steak properly
>heres where the sharp knives are, dont let your grandma touch them (i grew up there til high school)
>heres how to gut a deer
>heres how to prep fish
>if a woman cooks it for you, you eat it but next time she offers to cook it, find a different option.
Granddad gave actual advice. He was my father figure growing up and my grandma and him raised me as much as my mom did. Stepdad is a good guy, but were very different people

>>8145289
peel my dick nigga i'mma do whatever I want

>>8144029

Actually one of the few good pieces of advice in this thread.