Where does someone with ZERO cooking knowledge get started?

Make sure your oven works well. Put your head in and inhale deeply for awhile until you start to get woozy.

Eggs

>>7952954
Wikihow

>>7952954
go make some simple shit like mince, bolognese (use a jar to start with), those boxes of stir fry wraps you get. This type of shit is super easy, and will introduce you to the basics like browning meat, cutting vegetables and after you have made them a few times, start experimenting with spices

Pasta, stir fry, soup, eggs

>>7952954
/ck/

>>7952987

/thread

>>7952954
switch the oven on

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Thanks for all the advice!
>>7952968
Yeah, someone on Reddit suggested Eggs as a good start. I'll look into it.

>>7952974
I'll read it.

>>7952978
Okay. Sounds like a great way to learn the basic stuff.

>>7952985
Alright.

>>7952957
Don't listen to him, you have to keep breathing in the oven until you smell cinnamon, that's when you can actually turn it on

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Just follow the instructions on the package.

>>7952954
Mr. Kot poster, I'm so glad you're picking up the hobby!

First, you need some basic gear. You can get a measuring cup and a ring of teaspoon/tablespoon measures at a dollar store. Pick up a metal spatula while you're there too. You want a metal spatula so you don't have to worry about melting it.

Now, go to Walmart. Get a wood cutting board. Plastic is bad for cleaning-- things get stuck in crevices your knife makes. Get at least one good knife. It should be about eight inches long, not wobble in the handle, feel balanced, and have a heft to it. It doesn't have to be expensive! You can make investments later. If you want, you can also get a small knife that's about four inches long for paring things.

You need one skillet and two pots. I like copper-bottom pots and pans because they conduct heat really well. This is a good time to look around estate sales and see if grandma had some quality cookware. If you get a cast-iron skillet, do not wash it with soap, just wipe it down with a damp rag and then dry it thoroughly! Otherwise you'll fuck it up with rust. If you do see rust, and it's cheap, rub at the rust for a while with some vinegar and fine-grit sandpaper. Maybe it will work, maybe not.


Now, for some basic kitchen staples, you'll need canola oil, olive oil, (jasmine or basmati) rice, all-purpose flour, sugar, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and any five spices you like the look of from the baking isle. Don't get the grill mixes, they're making you overpay for salt.

For vegetables, it's good to have onions, garlic, potatoes, carrots, and apples on hand. They stay good for a long time! Experiment with what's on sale. It's easy to find ways to eat almost anything, so it's a good idea to have a lot of healthy food on hand to encourage good habits.

If I'm not boring you, I have some easy recipies for bread, and some meat tips.

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>>7953362
I would like your meat tips, please

>>7953369
ill give you my meat tip

Start by making something simple that you will end up doing a lot. Sauteing onions is a great way to start. You can learn knife skills by chopping the onion, it helps you understand how high vs low heat cooks food differently, and it helps teach how to salt foods properly.

Gordon Ramsey has a really good series on youtube. I can't remember the name of it but it's the basics for someone who doesn't know how to cook.

>>7953362
>cooking is a hobby
it's a life skill

>>7953434
This is true. They're good.

>>7953369
Just... be careful when you're cooking meat. Get a meat thermometer and check the middle of a large piece to make sure you've reached a good internal temperature. I can eyeball it because I've been cooking for a few decades, but you might make yourself sick.

It's best to go to an Asian or Mexican grocery for meat. Never buy meat at Target. When you buy meat, feel it carefully through the plastic. It should always be moist and springy. If it's silvery, don't buy it. If it's greenish grey, and this does happen even in large chain stores, don't buy it. Trust your nose. It should smell like blood, of course, but also clean. When you buy whole fish (you should, their prep is so easy and it's delicious), the eye should be bright, clear, and not be recessed into its little fish face.

Organs are good, quality meats. I strongly suggest beef heart for stew, chicken hearts for roasting, tripe for soup, and calf kidneys braised in white wine/butter/thyme/shallots.

The Chinese market near my house sells beef marrow bones for like 50 cents a pound. The gelatin makes quality broth when you boil it with vegetable scraps for a few hours, not that weak salty bullshit you get in a package. Keep your vegetable peels and cores in a freezer bag for broth funtimes, boil with beef bones or a chicken carcass when gallon bag is full.

When cooking shrimp, just like when you're cooking eggs or pasta, take your food off the heat before it's done cooking. Residual heat will finish cooking it for you, and nobody likes rubbery shrimp.

Season both sides of the meat while flipping it. Trust me on this one. Just don't use a ton of salt-- you can always add more later.

>>7953557
Lastly, ignore the "meat must be rare" fags. Different meat and different cuts are better at different stages of done-ness. Make sure to always cook chicken and ground beef thoroughly, don't cook shrimp for more than 5 minutes, fish is good at 45 minutes at 350*F in the oven, try your pork at medium if you have it from a trusted source and well-done the shit of it if you don't.

Also, for best bread, mix three cups of flour, one room-temp bottle of beer, and three tablespoons of sugar or honey together. Shove in a cold oven set to 375*F for 45 minutes. It's good in infinite combinations, but I really like dark beer with sharp cheddar and red peppers mixed in.

you don't really need cooking knowledge to cook

there is this thing called recipes. they provide step by step instructions.

if you can't follow a recipe, you're too dumb to cook. sorry.

>>7953561
Also, if your meat is tough, just cook it for longer while adding more liquid. There's a bell curve for meat toughness. It'll harden up when you start to cook it, and then soften to deliciousness the longer you cook it with plenty of liquids.

The first step to becoming a good cook is to get really drunk.

Eventually you will become an alcohol.

Then you will know.

>>7953557
>nobody likes rubbery shrimp

Speak for yourself edgelord.

>>7953561
That is an extremely overcooked fish recipe. I don't even cook my pork ribs that long at 350.

>>7953362
>>7953557
>>7953561
Why isn't this a sticky?
Cooking is so important and these are great guides for a novice.

>>7953685
>>7953685
Imagine the /ck/ sticky

It would be the most glorious of shit-posts across all the chans

>>7953561
>>7953684

Seconding this. I cook a thick piece of salmon filet at 400 for 20 minutes.

>>7953684
I guess I fucked up a little-- it's usually three pounds of trout stuffed with citrus slices and herbs. That takes a while.

So, yeah, it's important to check your food at regular intervals.


>>7953685
You're too kind.


Ask me anything else if you have questions.

>>7953638
best advice in this thread

>>7953362
Can i suggest if you do have a skillet, after cleaning, give it a rub over with vegetable or sunflower oil, it prevents any further rust of exposed metal

>>7953564
you need to leanr the basics. and cooking, recipe or no recipe comes down to one very important factor, especially when you're cooking multiple dishes for a large number of people simultaneously, and that is timing is everything, which recipes can't teach

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-REHgYpPg&list=PLEPZorkhO4nuhcXcMe1Bp5sIPBwrapc-O

PAN NICE AND HOT

>>7952954
does anyone ever wonder what smetana is?
no google just wonders

>>7953808
It's obviously a cheese product the best Kot is going to use on his pancakes.

>>7952954
get the fuck off tesg faget

>>7952998
>reddit

why don't you fuck off back there then

>>7952954
You get a cook book and either take your common sense which tells you for example that you can't cook noodles without adding water into the pot, or if you don't have any common sense then ask a few basic questions of the people around you.

>>7953808
No, because I always knew what smetana is. It's cream. We say sladka (sweet) smetana for the type of cream which you whip, and kisla (sour) smetana for well... sour creme.

suffering

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>>7954515
>le gb2 reddit meme
Perhaps you could fuck off back to >>>/pol/
Anyway here is a beginner's guide to stir fries.

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Here are some spice blends.

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And some soups.

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And some absolute bullshit.

>>7954589

>normandy
>apple apple apple

kek

Anymore useful info graphs, cu/ck/s?

The kitchen probably.

That or just watch home cooking videos of pleb celeb chefs to get a feel for things, just to understand the basic techniques and basic flavour combinations that work.

Then once you get that, start fucking around with ingredients.

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>>7954757

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>People telling some newb to learn how to cook by baking shit

Literally why?

Get a cast-iron pan (or a skillet as Americucks call them), and/or a non-stick pan and learn how to cook basic things.

Eggs, chicken breast, steaks, fish. Learn how the pans treat and work with the heat of your stove, learn how your stove works, learn how to time and how meat feels and looks as it cooks and learn from it. After a few times with preparing meat (if you have to, you can be lazymode and get them already done that's fine), and working with your stove/heat you'll totally get a grip with how hot things should be, the sounds things make etc.

You won't be blind: watch some recipe videos so you'll have an idea of heat/timing and try and recreate it yourself. There might be a little trial and error but it's way better than just passively throwing whatever into an oven and turning it midway.

I mean I guess if you're just wanting to eat stuff that isn't frozen pizza, throwing a salmon fillet in the oven instead might be okay but what are you learning?

In the fucking kitchen where else

And, as other anon have said, eggs
Scrambled, omelette, learn the basics, when try adding a bit of green onions to them, cut them right, add a bit of salt, pepper, figure out what to eat them next to be such

Upgrade to pasta next and learn to make a decent sauce and how to cook them al dente and then a few minutes in the sauce

How old are you anyway. Threads like these are usually made by people who won't get into it anyway

>>7954575

>1/4 tsp asafoetida

Just get some asafoetida yeah? Let me just hop in the old jalopy and scoot on down to my local food lion and pick that up.

>>7955196

You don't have mail-order where you live?