Getting dirty. It is one of the worst things about eating. Does

>>7918685
look up knife and fork, you will LOVE them.

>>7918685
I avoid ribs when eating out because of this.

>>7918687
It still doesn't completely help.

>>7918685

Nope, this doesn't bother me one bit.

However I do try and avoid cooking things that require the oven being on for a long period of time during the summer so as not to heat up the house too much.

>>7918685
Wet naps, bruh. Are you okay?

>>7918688
Eating bbq at a restaurant is about one of the worst experiences. They either give you those terrible and uncomfortable wet wipes or napkins that tear apart into shreds if you even look at them.

>>7918685
My thing is cooking with oil or foods that render a lot of fat. The splattering puts me into full-blown anxiety attack mode. You ever get the grease a little too hot, and when you lay down a piece of meat, it turns into a mist and coats EVERYTHING. Splatterguards can't trap oil that's essentially been aerosolized. The floors, counters, cabinets, the entire stove, anything within a 10 foot radius becomes a greasy mess. Then if you walk outside that radius, you're tracking that shit throughout the house.

I prepare a mop and bucket before I cook and move everything off the counters. And a separate bucket with soapy water to wash the cabinets. I wear slippers so if I have to leave the area, I can take them on and off quickly.

I hate being like this.

>>7918702

Why not just walk into the bathroom and wash up there?

File: image.jpg (63KB, 420x388px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 420x388px

Who is this semen demon?

>>7918685
light several portable gas fires beneath your toilet on the bathroom floor. when the water in the u-bend starts to boil (it's now sterilised) you can now cook anything in it (except Yorkshire puddings) but everything else can go; boiled veg, chicken, lamb shank, soufflés (if you put the mixture in a plastic bag and drop it in the bog it expands inside) you can even do baked goods like cookies and such if you wrap in tinfoil. douse the fires when your done with the shower head (bonus) you can and so use it to thin out sauces and top up long drinks then you are ready to jump directly into the shower to wash up dishes and your naked body. literally easy mode. as the toilet water cools you can still use it until it reaches room temperature. then.....washing up? just pull the chain. literally god mode cooking and not any mess. easiest way to cook and stay clean.

I've been shitting blood for three weeks.

I only eat ribs at home for this reason or at a place called rib rack cause the place is so dark you can't even see your drink haha

>>7918735
Using a public rest room for a major cleanup? Are you serious?

No. I definitely view being stressed by messes as a problem, not messes themselves.

It sucks when I'm around friends or family members who can't stand messes. I enter a state of paranoid overcompensation cause I can't really relate to what their standards are.

File: 1469558471947.gif (1MB, 250x198px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 250x198px

>>7918736
>>>/pol/82884637

>>7919092
>major cleanup
are you fucking your ribs at the table? how difficult is it to eat like a human being?

File: messy.jpg (48KB, 850x565px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 850x565px

>>7919782
It is like you have never eaten bbq.

I've always hated bbq ribs for this reason; having to go through a dozen napkins just to feel clean enough to pick up your drink to take one sip in between bites was always something I hated.

Now I have a ZZ Top tier beard and messy/juicy foods are the bane of my existence. Anything that's eaten with a knife and fork I'm a fucking pro at, and have high end table etiquette, but something like a messy burger (which I love) is an absolute nightmare.

File: seeds.jpg (228KB, 1500x1361px) Image search: [Google]

228KB, 1500x1361px

>>7918685
Getting dirty is one of the worst things about everything, but you can usually work around it. I just don't make greasy food.

If I really don't feel like doing any cleanup whatsoever, I keep protein bars and meal shakes on hand.

File: image.jpg (83KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 500x500px

>>7919098
You're too kind, thank you anon!
Have a cat.

>>7918685
I'm pretty good at staying clean and I use my napkins pretty excessively when I expect a mess. I can't say I've had ever this problem. Even eating barbecue is relatively clean.

If I have to use a lot of napkins, I'll wash my hands with soap and warm water and splash some water on my face in the bathroom. Any residual grease or sugar is easily removed this way. Takes 2-3 minutes tops to excuse yourself, lather up, rinse, and wipe off the water.

If you "feel" dirty after all of this, there's something wrong with you, not your food.

>>7918687
Kek

>>7918724
Dude drain the pan or turn the temperature down.

File: anonymous leaves the house.jpg (591KB, 1600x1257px) Image search: [Google]

591KB, 1600x1257px

>>7918685
you on the right

>>7918685
Who semen is this demon?

>>7919098
Is it a trap?

>>7921010
cute kot

>>7918724
make sure the meat is dry, before youseason it, you can just pat it lightly with a cloth

if theres even a tiny bit of moisture on itand you are cooking at a high heat, it will splash a lot in oil

I can't tell the last time I have gotten dirty while eating outside of the occasional "oops" which happens twice a year if at all.

File: 1469554491329.jpg (95KB, 405x540px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 405x540px

>>7921327
Already covered
>>7919098

>>7918685

>Inject soylent directly into the bloodstream
>Profit

>>7921424
Soylent needs to be digested. It can't be injected.

>>7921429

I was not being serious..

>>7921433
Oh you weren't being serious about a fictitious food you say........

>>7921485
It's not fictitious..

>>7921312
>>7921336
I genuinely appreciate the tips, but there will always be some amount of oil that escapes the skillet and finds its way onto kitchen surfaces.

>>7918685
Only when I'm eating at a restaurant somewhere and I know the food is gonna be greasy/oily. Then I feel gross. But I don't like eating in public anyway.

>>7918685
Yeah. Got a long ass beard and moustache, sometimes I can't be bothered by rinsing out my beard or washing my hands.