>ask the deli guy for .5 pounds of turkey >he cuts me .54

>>7910434
You are the cancer of deli.

>>7910434
You're either trolling or the biggest 'sperg on the whole damn board.

I have seen this behavior before. My local butcher has a customer who comes in 3-4 times a week and buys a NY strip steak weighing exactly 0.625 pounds. He insists that it is cut to that exact weight. And having served this guy for literally years, the butcher has gotten really good at eyeballing the weight. Alas, sometimes it takes some extra trimming. I've had to wait in line behind this fuckwit several times.

In Germany if you ask for 100g you get 100g
If you get 120g you say thanks and take it.
Stop beeing a dick and enjoy more meat

>>7910447
in America you pay for the extra weight you don't say thanks and take it

>>7910453
Buy prepacked meat then.

If I have $5 and only $5 and I find deli meat at $5 per pound, I want one pound. Not 1.15 pounds because then I don't have enough money to buy it which is why I asked for 1 pound and 1 pound only. It's not being a dick to ask them for what you asked for. You don't go to Pizza the Hut and say I want 1 large pizza and show up and they say HEY WE MADE YOU TWO INSTEAD OF ONE SO PAY FOR TWO NOW.

>>7910461
>If I have $5 and only $5
Then get a fucking job and stop buying deli meat

You realize that slices have a discrete weight and cannot always hit a specific point, right?

>>7910461
no, you are definitely being a dick

>>7910470
0.01 pounds is generous enough to hit that specific point.

Imagine if a neurosurgeon said his incisions can't always be 3mm.

>>7910461
ask them to buy $5 worth of meat then

>>7910472
no its not, usually a single slice will weigh significantly more than .01 pounds, and most people would rather have more than less than they need so if the guy is just a little under he will most likely add another slice bringing it over.

>>7910453
Your deli guy dislikes you. Mine usually takes a slice or two off to even out the weight, prints the price sticker, then puts the extra back. Or, they ask if the amount they overshot it is ok before charging.

But in all seriousness most people don't measure their deli meat portions that precisely when making sandwiches and just want to ensure that their order can create a certain number of servings. They'd view a random extra slice as unremarkable.

>>7910434
I didn't notice those decimal points at first and thought he sliced off 54 fucking lbs of turkey, i.e. five entire deli turkey breast loaf things.

Laughed my ass off picturing you standing there quietly watching him load up the third and fourth whole turkey loaf, saying "Man you sure do like turkey, huh." Then when you said, "Oh no, I want five, not fifty five," he took off 3 slices and was like, "close enough"
But seriously, if you can't afford an extra half ounce of turkey, don't go to the deli.

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>>7910470
>2 significant figures isn't enough

>>7910485
Do you not have a concept of what a single slice of meat weighs?

Unless you are getting thinly sliced salami, its way the fuck more than .01 lbs

>>7910480
>They'd view an extra random slice as unremarkable
And that's the problem. It's unremarkable for the average consumer. It's remarkable for the deli which sees potentially millions of customers a year.

Overcharging a bit for each and every one of those customers means big profits.

>>7910495
The deli-bitch isn't concerned with penny-profits, they just don't want to have to be laser precise cutting reshaped meat slabs when most people are okay with it being in the ballpark.

In my experience, they almost always ask, "Is this okay?" before printing a sticker. If you want to bitch, get upset at them putting the damn sticker over the cheap ziploc and fucking it up.

You're worse than the people who ask me for thinly sliced liverwurst, or exact weights of cheese cut in a single block.

>>7910499
He is if he's told that he can make a bonus depending on how much he can oversell.

If you oversell by an average of 20 cents to 3 million customers, that's $600k extra revenue. At 75% profit, it's $450k.

Giving the deli guy an extra $1k for Christmas is chump change compared to what he brings in.

>>7910504
>wage workers given bonuses
>assuming $450k for a company that already has 3 million customers is considered significant

>>7910504
But at chain grocery store delis this simply does not happen. You can start a jew-mart and do this and laugh all the way to the bank with boar's head bucks, but the average grocery store is more concerned that Jose doesn't slice off a finger after he actually shows up for his shift.

>>7910504
>He is if he's told that he can make a bonus depending on how much he can oversell.
lol, its not some fucking conspiracy. They literally have no way of even tracking such a metric. How do you think that would possibly work?

The simple answer is that people don't like to be undersold

>>7910504
Also

>grocery store getting 75% profit on fucking deli meat
Are you clinically retarded? Did your mother drink bleach while you were in the womb?

>>7910476
That's what I do, but only when buying sausages.
>"hey angelo. can i get five bucks worth of sausages, no fennel?"
>sure anon. hey, i'll throw in one extra for you, too
>"thanks angelo! see you next time."
>see ya
I used to say "may I have" rather than "can I get" but was told that sounds "too wordy."

>>7910504
>At 75% profit
lol

>>7910434
That's nothing. You should see Chinese ladies try to sell beef jerky. You ask for 1 lb, they give you 1 ½ lbs and if you say something, they curse your whole family.

>>7910504
>Cooperative Grocer, a website maintained in association with the National Cooperative Grocer’s Association, identifies items such as meats and olives as low-profit items. These items generate approximately a 40 percent profit, according to the site. Without these products, you may not get buyers into your store who are also looking for more high-profit items such as salads, prepared entrees, desserts and sandwiches, which can generate up to 75 percent profit margins.

>>7910527
why are they giving you free sausage?

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>>7910434
Sick bait, faget

>>7910503
>"About a half pound chunk of [insert cheese name here], please. Just one big chunk, thanks."
I do that quite a lot. It's always around a half pound, even if never a half pound precisely. As long as it's somewhere between ⅖ and ⅗, I'm good.

I always like to get 1.5 pounds when I ask for 1 pound and pay the extra $4 for the half pound they went over. It's just how it works, you know. Screw getting what you ask for.

>>7910547
>>7910503
With cheese I usually just get the gimp to move his knife along until it's as much as I want then say "cut".

>>7910461
>>7910434
If you're poor you order by the price then.

>Can I get $10 of ground beef

>>7910562
I like you, you're a good deli customer.

>>7910564
this.

>>7910564
I didn't know this was a thing, actually

>>7910535
You know, I never really thought about it. Happens quite a lot, though. A lot of the smaller stores in my area just throw free things my way from time to time. It's not like they're giving me something extra every time I go, just every now and again. The only ones to not do that ever are the two Indian-owned delis (Delhi-owned delis?) and the Vietnamese greengrocer around here.

>>7910434

you have aggressive autism and I hope you have 6 weeks to live.

>>7910586
Good places won't go over, or won't charge you for the little extra. just ten flat.

>>7910667
>Good places won't go over
This is just not true at all. Any good place would rather go a slice over than under because non poverty stricken customers usually order to make a certain number of sandwiches and do not want to be shorted

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>>7910504
>Deli worker here.
>Getting paid on commission to oversell.

Dude.. Chill. The guy you worked with might be a dick (Only by the loosest of definitions) by not asking "Is a little extra okay?" before printing your ticket. But I can promise you his incredulity was undoubtedly the reaction of seeing someone so autistic that he somehow knew that you were going to bitch about it online later and claim that he made commission for selling you .04 lbs of meat.

Do you think we're stock brokers? What the hell kind of money do you think Grocery Stores/delis make?

>>7910527
Too wordy, get to the nordic level.

> "<amount> of <product>, please."
(the girl puts a peper on a scale and cuts the <product>, the puts in on the paper on scale)
> <measured amount>, is this good, sir?
> "yes / no"
(if no, repeat process, if yes, the girl will paper the <product> and close the bundle with a price sticker.)
>"goodbye"

>>7910688
>no one says 'thank you'
Are all Nordic people so rude or just you?

>>7910504
If he's overselling by an average of 20 cents to 3 million customers a year it means that he's serving a minimum of six customers per minute, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

>>7910521
Yes they do. The scale can store that info in a database along with the guy who was manning the station. From there its a simple matter of using the software to track the ratio of sold vs. ordered. If you hit a ratio of 1.2, thats 20% extra sold.

>>7910710
Well to be honest, I used "goodbye" on purpose, to make the rude appearance. "Thank you" would probably be more likely, though some friendlier informal version of "goodbye" could also do.

>>7910472
>comparing deli meats to neurosurgery
anon...

>>7910504
>3 million customers
where is that happening? China?

>>7910434
Wouldn't the obvious solution to this be that if you ask for a certain weight you only pay for a certain weight? Then it's up to the deli-person to cut it accurately?

More importantly, do you guys make sure that the deli guy calibrates the scale with the plastic meat wrap on it first? I swear to god i have to call jamal out on that shit every single time i go to publix.

>>7910764
Calibration is different from taring, and zeroing for that matter. Please be more concise.

What type of person thinks they're too good to talk to a deli worker to make sure they're getting the portion they want?

>>7910678
I meant if you order by price.

good places won't still charge you 10.75 if you asked for 10

>>7910780
the kind that uses a credit card so they dont have to worry about the guy giving an extra 15 cents.

>not being okay with the extra slices and making sandwiches
Tune the autism down. If you can't afford the small bit of change to get deli meat. You ought stop shopping at a deli. You obviously should go back to prepackaged shit.

>>7910453
Why is everything so stupid and malevolent in the US?

>>7910764
Not all slicers are good at this. Ours wiggle around and 1 can be more like 2 on some days

Seriously op he just cut one or two slices over and didnt wanna jam jt in the case by itself all sad and have to throw it away. I cant actually believe the 'people are super rude to workers' myth is a real thing. Nobody ive known including myself has ever been a cunt to workers. Are you all cunty rich people or?...

>>7910805
not all of us are walking doormats, anon. if someone fucks up, you have to call them out on it. cashiers are expected to perform a specific job. they aren't hired to think.

imagine if the register said your change was $1.03 and you got handed a dollar back.

>>7910814
I would be fine with that. I don't want to deal with 3 pennies.

I never care about exact weight. I just kind of give an approximate number and I'm fine with any excess, even if it's like 20% more. I shop once every couple of days and buy really small quantities so the absolute difference is pretty small

Sometimes I ask to add a bit more if it's too little, though

>>7910434
They get paid by the weight of the meat. Also when you go into a service deli you're taught NEVER to go under and that going over is preferable. If you go over you ask the customer if they're fine with a little more meat and take some off if necessary, but for a quantity as small as .04 he really had no obligation to bring it up to you.

>>7910733
So you think the guy types into the balance the amount the customer asked for and then stores the amount actually served, and stores use this information to give them bonuses? Thats just an absurd idea

>>7910844
You know that there are scales that automatically prints bar codes after something's been weighed, right?

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>>7910814
You are literally fucked in the head and people with your attitude are a living virus on this earth.

>>7910848
Yeah, thats not the farfetched part. Its the idea that they make the deli guy record the amount the customers request and tie it to bonuses, even though plenty of us worked at grocery stores when we were kids and no one has ever heard of such a system being implemented

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>>7910863
>oh hey you were supposed to receive a dollar and 3 cents but here's a dollar. deal with it, cuck.
i don't know how anyone is okay with being taken for a ride like this

>>7910759
3000000/52=57692

Lets say the average person gets 5 meats a week

57692/5=11538

11538 regular customers

>>7910495

>overcharging

Dude. You literally get what you pay for.

If they gave you less and charged you more, then that's overcharging

>>7910814
That's not the same and you know it. In your deli example you get the extra meat.

How can people go so autistic over small amounts of cheap deli meat like it's fucking truffles?

Or about pennies. When I get change I leave shit smaller than a nickel because I just don't want to carry it around.

And it's not like I'm rich or anything I just don't understand why would you get so upset over minor shit like that.

>>7910872
>Being shorted 3 pennies is being taken for a ride
you probably know a lot about getting rides from other people if you would prefer to have the three cents.

>>7910874
11,000 regular customers? are you serious?

>>7910890
it's about respect. like if you receive shitty food at a restaurant and don't say anything, the next time you come back the workers will be like
>oh we can just serve him garbage since he doesn't complain
3 cents and being oversold a little turkey doesn't seem like much until you go to the same store and they short/oversell you even more because you don't have enough self respect to raise a stink about it.

>>7910904
how much are they going to "oversell" by? 15 cents? I don't need to count change to get by.

>>7910904
Do you realize how weighing slices works?
Do you expect them to rip up the last slice to make it perfectly portioned and throw away the portion of the slice that would make it over your request?

Is this whole thing a ruse?

>>7910895
Doesn't seem that far-fetched to me.

>>7910926
You are saying 11,000 people averaging 5 deli purchases a week isn't farfetched?
Thats an absurd number

It sicks me to see such an obvious bate thread get 78 replies

I hate all of you

>>7910926
that's because you're an idiot.

>>7910934
11,000 people making 1 transaction a week.

Many people shop everyday.

>>7910947
>Many people shop everyday.
Very few people shop every day, especially for deli meat, most people will buy a week's worth of deli meat at once

I worked in a Publix Deli that was the busiest in the area. People like OP are the bane of my fucking existence.

>>7910947

'No'

>>7910434
>implying deli workers make commission on an eleven cent upsale
Even if he's getting half that as commission, that's 5,5¢. Busy delis get an average of one sale every two minutes. And those busy delis have multiple workers. This means that Jimmy ain't handling all those sales. Assume there are three workers, that means that Jimmy gets a third of all the customers. At an average of a 5,5¢ commission every customer he upsells, he's getting an additional 55¢ per hour. Assuming, of course, that the deli is busy in the first place. Which, of course, it won't always be.
If some a commission-based system exists, deli workers would be upselling their customers for the cash equivalent bonus of a box of Mike and Ikes per day. I doubt anyone would put that much effort into getting a box of Mike and Ikes.

>deli service professional asks if i'd like a slice
>smile and say sure, thank you!
>didn't actually want the slice

who else /liar/ here?

>>7910976
>put it in your pocket
>add it to the deli pouch once you get your product

>>7910943
>not spending time entertaining the bait
What else am I supposed to do on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of a heat wave? Go be social outdoors? We're expecting HI to go upwards of 125°F this week.
Fuck that.
I'll entertain some bait in the air conditioned indoors, thanks.

>>7910792
>paying by weight is stupid and malevolent

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>>7910985
>order 1lb of ham, thinly sliced
>take package into bathroom
>sit on toilet, browse phone, and slowly eat ham slices individually for the next 20 minutes
>throw away empty wrapper and walk out with a grin on my face

>>7910434
>deli workers getting paid commission to sell you an extra 10 cents of meat.

I assume this is b8, since I can't imagine someone being retarded enough to believe this.

>>7910904
Comparing a bad meal that goes from a few to dozens of dollars to 20 grams of turkey is ridiculous. Not to mention that with the turkey you don't actually lose anything - you just get an extra slice or two for more money, but with the meal you actually lose stuff, whether it's enjoyment or actual money if you can't even finish the meal because it's shitty. So no, it's not at all like that.

And are you actually implying someone who is serving dozens or hundreds of customers per day will be keeping track of who was and was not OK with being sold more food?

And yeah a year later they will totally give you $1 change instead of $2 and put double the amount of meat you wanted if you don't stop them the first time.

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>>7911004
>order 2 pounds of turkey and .5 pounds of chicken
>swap the stickers and throw the chicken away

>>7911004
>>7911011

I'll have to remember these in case I'm ever homeless

>>7910880

............... that you PAY FOR you dumb cunt

do you want the electric company just deciding to give you an extra $100 of power on your bill every month?

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>>7910434
>ask for 2 pounds of seasoned ground beef
>2.05 pounds
>takes some off
>2.03 pounds
>fiddles around a bit more
>1.98 pounds
>puts some back again
>2.00 pounds
>looks at me as if he had accomplished something amazing
>say thanks and give him (unintentionally) a thumbs up
>he is literally radiating happiness
>a few days later
>order something again
>it's a bit too much again
>he wants to take some off
>Nah, that's ok
>he looks at me as if I had insulted him

>>7911050
But Anon: 12¢ != $100.
You're literally squabbling over a dozen pennies.
>but those pennies add up!!!
If you reject ten upsales, you'd have saved enough for a can of Pringles. Good job! And it only took you two and a half months!

>>7910874

Why divided by 52?

And then why if the customer gets 5 meats a week do you divide it by 5?

>>7911121
You're right, I should have divided by 53. Sorry.

>>7910434
Whenever I read a post like this, it makes me wonder how you spergs function in society.....then I quickly realize you don't function in society at all

>>7911136

For what reason?

>>7911121
>Why divided by 52?
pre school dropouts everyone

>>7911146
There is 53 weeks in a year.

>>7911136
you math still makes no sense.
Are you assuming the average customer shops at the deli 5 times per week?

>>7911050

The electricity company throwing an extra $100 out of nowhere on your bill is not the same as getting extra ham that you have to pay for but can actually use.

It is unrelatable. You don't get watts in a bag and in OP's case he didn't get charged for nothing.

>>7911159
Are you able to read?

>>7911164
I read it, it makes no sense. Who the fuck makes 5 separate lunch meat purchases a week?

>>7911168
I do. At least 5.

And we're counting cheese/antipasti etc as well.

I think if you see pricing by weight you want to be able to buy by weight in accordance with that pricing.
it's a nice idea and they should do what they reasonably can to accommodate you but you should not tie yourself down to exacting measures for sausage or cold cuts because they are under no obligation to dole it out to you by weight

>>7910870
Because it is stupid and you have no way to verify what the customer asked for. I could hit 20% easily by simply shaving 20% off whatever the customer asked for and no one could tell if I was lying.

>>7911168
apparently over 11,000 people do from just one store.

>>7911171
I assure you, the average grocery store customer does not make 5 purchases from the deli per week even if you count the salad case (plus most salad purchases are done by picking which size container you want, not directly by weight). Hell, half the people probably don't use the deli at all. Your estimate is just absurdly high

>>7910461
>at $5 per pound
This does NOT imply they can and/or will sell you an exact 1.0000 pound. Or any precise measure for that matter.
It only tells you the price.

>>7911177
well over half the customers at a grocery store don't go to the deli section.

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>>7910434
>go out of my way to certain butcher shop, to support them and get quality meat
>I ask for 4lbs of chuck roast
>dumbass lady weighs it out in kilograms
>could just change the scale's measure to lbs
>weighs out 2.5kg
>"...just a little over"
>explain to her that 2.5kg converted is like 5.5lbs
>1.5lbs more than I wanted
>blank look
>"just give me 3lbs instead"

Conflicted on whether or not I should go back there. I can't tell if she was purposely doing that or unwittingly doing that. Either way, customers shouldn't put up with that kind of shit.

>>7911195
Hearsay.

>>7910470
>order 3.00000 lbs of meat
>scale only goes up to 4 significant figures
Liberal arts majors shouldn't be allowed to work in delis

>Ask for 1 lb of shrimp
>Get 1.3 lbs of shrimp

How is this fucking acceptable? A 30% difference is just plain ridiculous.

>>7911264
You could have just said 2 kg instead. It's not exactly the same but it's pretty close. Mixing units makes people retarded.

>>7911527
Because you get the extra 30% of shrimp. And you can ask for some to be taken off. Delis are more afraid of giving someone less and having them complain about being shorted for whatever dinner they are doing so they will always err on the side of more.

>>7911575

I get that I can ask for them to adjust the weight, but where do you draw the line when it comes to having a worker that actually listens to the customer? Is a 50% difference acceptable? Workers are supposed to take pride in what they do.

>>7910504

Grocery store profit margins are no more than 5%.

>order 1.0000lbs of ribeye steak
>first slab weighs 0.7019lbs
>2nd slab brings it to 1.3462lbs
>the asshole counter guy wouldn't give me exactly 1.0000lbs

>>7911594
That's still not even a reasonable tolerance for the point you're trying to make.

>hurr it's only a 30% difference either way what's the big deal
>fucking 30%

1.1lbs or .98lbs for a 1lb steak is acceptable - higher or lower is simply not.

When you ask for 1 pound of beef, and the guy puts up 1 pound and a half, you're not paying for the initial pound you asked for - you're paying for the pound and a half the guy put on the scale. (At least usually, some places practice decency and will actually charge you what you wanted, and give you the extra.)

I shouldn't have to tell you to lower it to the amount I originally asked for, that's fucking retarded. And I sure as hell am
not paying for more than what I originally asked for, that is also fucking retarded.

>>7911575

>asking for shrimp in weight rather than having the butcher count them out

>>7911735
my point is that a slice of meat has a discrete weight that is significantly greater than the tolerance of the balance. It often isn't possible to hit 1.00 on the dot unless you expect the guy to rip a slice in half or some bullshit like that

>>7911775

Shrimp sizes are not consistent, asking for a certain weight is much more reliable, at least it should be if workers weren't incompetent.

>>7912345
It should be noted that it is a lot less dickish to ask the guy to put a shrimp back into the case than it is to ask him to throw away the slice of lunch meat he just cut specifically for you

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>>7910434
>ask for 300grams
>weighs up 380
>"is this ok"
no u fuckwit

>>7912401
you should check your math

>>7912443
Huh?

>>7910434

I hope your government invades you, because this is some serious weapons grade autism

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>>7910434
me today at delhi

>yes, can i have 1 pound of provolone
>And one pound of white cheddar
>guy points at cheese and repeats
>grabs some provolone
>ahh is .92 okay?
>me: uhh yeah i guess
>grabs white cheddar
>ahh is 1.12 okay?
>me: uhh yeah sure
>go on my way wondering about this thread

It was kinda weird that he couldnt get it just on the weight but truthfully it isnt that big of a deal.

>>7910513
Why'd you stop

>>7912502
>white cheddar

Amazing Ameriblubbers have to specific this. Like if I had to say "Can I get one non-shit filled sandwich please"

>>7911173
Just steal it you dumb jew

>>7910513
I don't think I've ever been able do discern between the areolas and nipples through a shirt. Thanks anon for showing me that it happens.

>>7910722
>>7910733
Gonna have to call bs on that as well. The registers have a scale and keeps track of who's in it. It has nothing to do with the scales in the deli. That's definitely a silly notion.

>>7910434
I worked in a deli for about a year.
After the first week I had the slicer settings adjusted for most of the meats and all of the cheeses and could tell customers exactly how many slices would be in their order.
Your deli guy is either lazy or just hates you.

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>>7912513

>>7910519
>.15c per customer is not significant. In what world?

>>7910434
I work in a deli. It's rare to get the exact weight. We do a little over instead of a little under because sometimes customers complain about not getting enough. Once some guy wanted .5 pound of salami and he complained when I gave him .48
And we get paid by the hour, not commission. We're not a call center or something.

>>7910872
Lel I've had plenty of arguments over under 10c. Staff act like you are being the ultimate jew.
But if you try to pay less than you owe they get all upset. What the fuck you guys?

The deli down the street from me had bacon on special, I went in there and there was about a kilo of bacon left in the display. I asked to have all of it, the guy behind the counter got pissed off and said that was all the bacon they had left and that I didn't need that much bacon.
Why the fuck would you advertise bacon special when your bacon supplies are low.

>>7912564
>>7912513
fun fact: the only people complaining about americans are americans

>>7912594
one is bartering (or close to it)
the other is not paying what you've already agreed upon

>>7912513
White cheddar and yellow cheddar are the exact same thing tastewise. Its just an aesthetic decision

>>7912554
lol what?
Were all your meats in tube form so that each slice was of a uniform area?

Thats a fucking bullshit claim

>>7910504
>3 million customers
Fuck me, maybe over a dozen stores in a year but no one man can hope to do that.

>>7910434
Stupid Jews

>>7911586
You think a 17 year old wagecuck making 7 bucks an hour is going to be assed to rip apart your autism order to make sure you don't get an extra .0X pounds of meat, knowing that it's much more likely for a customer to throw a hissy fit if they get less compared to more? Not to mention Manager Shekelstein breathing over their shoulder telling them to work faster.

>>7912877

1. The worker was a grown adult
2. Funny that you mention ".0X pounds" in your post to diminish my argument when I explicitly said that I got 0.3 lbs extra amounting to 30% extra.

It's not autism to want something reasonably close to what you ordered. Imagine you asked for 3 lobsters at the counter and they gave you 4. Is it "autism" to not want to have to pay for the 4th lobster?

>>7910434
Better hope the dude doesn't jump you later for being a total pedantic cunt. I know I would.

>>7910461
I can almost guarantee that if you're not a troll essentially no one you've ever met likes you.

I love pedantic threads like these.
I read most of the posts in George's voice from Seinfeld.

>>7912936
they sell potatoes by weight too, do you chop them up in the produce aisles?
(you don't)
it's not unreasonable, but it's a false equivalency to say 30% of weight is the same as additional whole lobsters

>>7910504
I legitimately have autism and I think you're a fucking mong. Take some time to really think about that one.

>>7910480

>Mine usually takes a slice or two off to even out the weight, prints the price sticker, then puts the extra back.

that's theft

>>7912947

I'm not trying to say that things should be chopped up. With regards to buying steaks by the pound, you get what you get, because they come in large discrete amounts. But when you are talking about something like shrimp, which maybe weigh an ounce, it's easy to remove 2 or 3 to give the customer their target weight, or at least something reasonably close to it. Going through 5 cycles of adjusting weight to ever-closer precision is silly, but I don't think it's an unreasonable burden to adjust the weight once after checking and seeing that it's far too much.

With regards to the potatoes, the customer usually weighs those, and can adjust the amount and size of each potato as he pleases, so I don't think chopping them up would ever be a problem (I know you were just trying to prove a point, but it's really a non-issue)

>>7913028
yeah it probably wouldn't be an unrealistic expectation for managers to price out different thickness of meat for their approximate weight and have it listed for deli's so they can more accurately estimate it
I very seldom use the deli counter but pretty much every time I have I've run into an over weighted serving of meat issue myself

When those cunts at the deli counter do this to me at the grocery store I take the meat and say thank you , then I hide it behind the breakfast cereal at the very back. Enjoy finding the spoiled meat in a week or two cunts.

>>7910480
your "deli guy" is a commie faggot like you

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>>7913061

>>7913061
>work retail
>find half eaten chicken, cheese and deli meats hidden behind products
>I don't even work the deli what the fuck

>>7913061
The last time I went to the grocery store someone had left sushi under the heatlamps with the barbecue chicken. Why are people such fucking animals?

ausfag here, all the people at my supermarket deli and meat sections are incredibly nice. the two butchers are bro tier and always help me with my retarded meat questions and theres a qt 40 year old chinese lady at the deli who is possibly the most polite person i've ever met. definitely deserves a raise even though she'll never get one.
honestly even if i wasn't too lazy to make the extra trip to a proper deli/butcher after my shop i'd probably still go to these guys because they're so friendly.
never thought about how good my local store was honestly, makes the weekly shop hardly feel like a chore. if only the fucking herbs i wanted weren't always sold out.

This is the gayest thread I've seen in a long time

>people who have never had jobs making wild and wrong assumptions about how grocery stores work
>dumbasses actually thinking the deli employee gets paid on commission
>acting like talking to a deli employee is fucking suffering
>autists make up fucking word puzzles and pull numbers out of their ass like it means something
>people who genuinely are offended that 'they're being tricked' if they have to ask for an weight adjustment

I mean the annoyance is one thing but if you are straight up making wrong shit up about how you think the grocery industry works as a reaction to having to talk to a deli employee then you have severe autism.

>>7910814

>want some ham
>let's see, I guess give me a pound
>hands you an amount of sliced ham
>I have some ham now
>pay for how much it weighs

This can happen too you edgy faggot. Go cry somewhere else about how you were oppressed by thr deliarchy

>>7910874

>dude just sell 11,000 pounds of sliced meat every week

I don't know why people make up fake numbers when this is all about a margin anyways and the volume doesn't matter

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>>7910504
nigga are you serious right now

like
do you really think that people working Deli aren't min-wage grunts stuck in the worst place in a grocery store?
Do you honestly think they get "commission" ?

You must be autistic. There is no other explanation for this behavior.

>>7910484
Underrated post

>>7913664
>>people who have never had jobs making wild and wrong assumptions about how grocery stores work
Most people probably have real jobs.

>>7913793
Learn to read.

>>7910434
Have you ever tried to cut a big chunk of meat into pieces with exact weight? Let's say 200 g fillets. If you have then you know it's impossible to exactly eyeball 200 g. That's one reason why you get extra of a produce.

Plus, any supermarket will frown on selling exact weight cuts because they're then left with little bits and pieces hardly anyone will buy and will have to be thrown out. That's wasted money.

>>7910434

>a couple slices
>.04lbs

kek no unless you get razor thin slices

>>7910504
fuckstick, my youngest brother's working at a deli right now because he makes shitty life choices and he's getting paid $8 an hour. He doesn't get paid enough to care whether or not you get .04 lbs more pork ass for an extra 32 cents or whatever.

>>7914679
>buying $8/lb pork ass
Well shit, Daddy Warbucks! You fancy, huh?
Carolina-brand pork ass is 2lbs for $6 (or you can buy 1lb pork ass and 1lb American cheese for the same price). Get on my po' level, negro.

>>7910461
If you only have 5 dollars then how you gonna pay the taxes? If you live in a no tax state and seriously only have 5 dollars then say upfront "not more than 5 dollars please, I only have 5 dollars". You can't expect him to cut a teeny piece to make it go from $4.90 to $5.00.

>>7915034

I thought that food wasn't taxed (except for restaurant meals)?

>>7910434
>worked in a deli
>if I cut too much I would lift it up and price the package for the right amount then throw the extra in

>>7915043
We now have a 1 % sales tax on grocery store food in South Carolina , used to be same as regular sales. I think most places have some tax on food, our fast food is taxed at 10%

>>7915043
Depends on the state.

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>>7910434
If you are that cheap you should not be buying at deli, we can get 1/4 pound of sliced ham or turkey for 99 cent in the grocery store or many gas stations (carolina pride brand)

>>7915354
Why would I pay $4/lb for that when I can get fresh pork for $3/lb (or less), or chicken for under $1/lb?

>>7915379
Not OP but doesn't need to be cooked, and it its smaller package size makes it convenient in certain situations.

As a skinflint I will say that those cheap packaged products are mostly water. The cheapest can get close to 40%. If you enjoy the taste despite this then have fun since technically it is less calories, but if you double the meat to make it up for this then...

>>7910434
>It's always over.
That's the rule I've been told to go by. Ask what the customer wants, how they want it sliced and how much, slice once and ask if the cut's okay, give it to them to nibble on while they wait. Over not under, always trt and keep it close. .04lbs is negligible and hardly worth whining about. People are more likely to complain if they get less than what they ask for rather than more. Tossing a morsel of a slice off or on to hit the mark is just retarded. If anything, just ask them to make it a little under the weight if you feel like you're being scammed.

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>>7915450
>less calories

>>7910434

>going to the deli when you can't afford it

why are poor people so stupid?

>>7910434
deli sounds trashy to my ear, is there a better word for it?

>>7915612
Adele Counter

>>7911775
Neither system is great for shrimp. I've bought shrimp that were mandingo shrimp that were as big as my hand and ive gotten ones that were pinky sized. It's a case by case basis really.

>>7915612
We call delis 'Dr Fothergill's allotment' in Bongland.
>"Goin;' down Dr. Fothergill's allotment, ya need anything Roisin?"
>yeah pick up a bit of pork pie, wouldja love? make sure it's got the egg down the middle!

In common vernacular, we also call it a slice-y-meat-y-take-home-eat-y.

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>>7915652
>slice-y-meat-y-take-home-eat-y.

>>7915640
protip: look at the frozen shrimp of the size you are going to get, and you see the number on the package, something like 51-60 or something like that? that's how many shrimp you can expect to be in a pound

>>7910445
It likely has something to do with calorie counting. You're the inferior lazy DYELfag in this situation desu senpai

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>>7910434
I'm too autistic to go to the deli guy so I pay the extra $ to get the prepackaged shit

>UGGGGGGGGH why is this customer asking me to do my job right, fuck uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh >:(


Normies: Not even once.

>>7910535
repeat business

local meat seller here always gives you a free wiener when you buy something. so i only buy my german food from them now

a 12 cent weiner is worth extra business

>>7915675
It more likely has something to do with crippling autism.

>>7915702
>t. 1pl8 bench

>>7915711
you realize /ck/ is a board for women right? 1pl8 is perfectly respectable, gtfo

>>7915711
>muh weights

gymfags are literal subhumans

>>7915716
Fine
>nopl8
also
>>7915719
>fatties

I was offering a reasonable perspective from the other guy, no need to get triggered just because you don't live life on the same level as him.

>>7915780
did i hurt your feewings? go funnel some more homosexual rage into your kettlebells

>>7915798
That's some legitimate anger you have there. I was just playing around.

Polite sage for off-topic.

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>>7912676
Most deli meats come in consistent forms, yes. It's not a difficult concept. You adjust the slicer a bit to compensate for every different order.
Only the roast beef had a random shape to it, but after a while it became pretty easy to hit within a +- 0.05 tolerance.

No they work at minimum wage its not a surprise if they dont give a fuck

>>7915988
jeez, if $25 gift certificates at Christmas can't motivate you I guess this generation really is doomed

>>7915504
If you wish to be truly pedantic it should be "is less caloric".

>>7916001
>less caloric
You mean "less calorific." 'Caloric' is a noun. It refers to a long-disproved theoretical liquid yet somehow also ethereal and intangible substance that in some inexplicable way is responsible for the existence of heat.

publix deli workers are the fucking WORST

>>7910527
>Too wordy

lol, flyover detected.

>>7910447
>In Germany you say thanks and take the Butcher's meat

Sounds about right to me

>>7910434
.04 x 5 bucks or whatever

literally 20 cents more fagget

>>7911100
>>1.98 pounds
>>puts some back again
>>2.00 pounds
>>looks at me as if he had accomplished something amazing

when you get to the point you can nail a weight with no fiddling, it's hard on time

>>7910814
>cashiers are expected to perform a specific job. they aren't hired to think.

I wish, customers come up with the most bizarre questions

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>>7911004

>>7916015
In Murga you say "Jesus loves you!" and then put a bullet in the butcher's head then and there.

>>7910434
Germanfag here. When I ask for 100g and they accidentally give me 120g they immediately try to trimm off any excess.
I always tell them it's fine though and buy whatever they give me. I'm not going to sperg about 20g of meat.

>buy roast beef in the deli
>one of my favourite sandwich toppings, so I like to get enough to last me a while
>everytime I order more than 150g, the deli workers just stop giving a fuck and triple the slice size, giving me these thick ass slices that nobody wants
>tell them I prefer them sliced pretty thin, they give me the stinkeye, give the slicer knob a featherlight touch and slice up some leather-thick flabs

I mean, it's not like I'm holding up the line, there's no one else there, and I pay out of my ass for it so what's the problem?

>>7910434
>>um.. i asked for .5 pounds
>>he looks at me incredulously and takes off a couple slices before weighing it again
>Does anyone else complain whenever the deli guy tries to sell you the excess?
This has literally never happened to me at Publix. They are spot on, and might even add a slice to meet the .5, all the while communicating with you. They want you to tell them when it's right for you. Plus you get the free taste, which has to count for .1lb, so why argue? Ask for what you want. "I would like 1oz slices, and exactly 5 of them" or "Exactly .5lb, don't need anymore today" and then if it's over, just quietly be firm again that you only need .5lb.
If you want to be a dick, ask for a manager, or simply hand it back, and say it wasn't what you requested, and then ask for the manager.

>>7910710
No need to thank someone for doing a job and serving you when they don't have a choice. Saying words doesn't make you polite.

>buy $16 worth of chorizo
>Realize I only got like 5 sausages
>leave them in the cereal aisle behind some boxes
>Leave without them

>>7916301
why would they waste time addressing the customer with "sir?" though, it's gotta be pretty obvious who they're referring to

>>7912612
well did you get the bacon or not ????

>>7915612
Fine delicatessen and masturbatorium.

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The intense fucking autism of this thread is mind-boggling. These are people who willingly buy their meat in a deli, meaning they know they'll be interacting with actual people and be in a social situation that's a slight step above a fucking ATM, but still insist on treating the guy behind the counter as some sinister deli-robot intent on jewing him out of his fucking pennies.

Are you even able to physically eat the meat, or do you just forcibly launch it at your fucking face, hoping to catch whatever sticks?

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>>7916405
This is one of those threads where I can't tell what is bait, reverse bait or what.

Good job OP. Good to know this board still runs on pure, unrefined, weapons grade autism.

>go to Publix
>want some of that capicola ham
>walk up and this guy behind the counter immediately greets me and asks if he can help
>taken aback and don't know what's going on
>point to the capicola in the case and ask for a half pound of that
>he goes ahead and asks me "how thick I'd like it"
>wat
>uhh, regular?
>he slices off a piece and gives it to me
>asks if that's a 'good thickness'
>eyeball it and say yes
>trying to hand it back but he tells me no, just to eat it
>he confirms i want a half pound and finishes up and bags it
>tells me to have a great day
>have to remind him I got an extra slice and to add it to the price
>he laughs and says it's on the house

So did he want to fuck me or what? Should I be afraid? I didn't catch his nametag. Maybe I should call next time before I go and make sure he isn't working. I'm not gay or anything.

>>7916453

nobody wants to fuck you, ever. You're safe.

>>7916453
if you accepted his meat already I'd go ahead and change stores

>people working in the worst section of a market for minimum wage don't give even the slightest fuck about their jobs
tell me more. even at Costco where you can make 20+ an hour if you stay there people didn't give a shit about their jobs in the deli, and I didn't give a shit about my job in the bakery.

Bakers are some of the most insufferable cunts. They literally go out of their way to make messes because they know they won't have to clean it. Thank god for that high pressure hose they have in there. Never washed a single pan.

i am currently a deli clerk at a large supermarket i dont even ask if its ok to overshoot it. Usually 30g is the acceptable margin of error is pretty rare that a slice of meat is more that that so if you're over just take off a slice and throw it out.

>>7910434
>Ask for 1lb of ground beef
>Get like 1.2lb
>Take it and think nothing of it because I'm not the most autistic autist in the history of autistic austist holy shit kill yourself you fucking faggot just stick to McDonald's and Taco Bell for life wow you niggardly shit what the fuck is wrong with you .04 of a pound .04 of a fucking pound made you sperg on 4chan imagine the poor fucking guy slicing your shit like damn nigga if I was him I woulda sliced ur fucking face next I bet you're queer ass puts pineapple on fucking pizza too you dumbass.

>>7916822
What's wrong with pineapple on pizza?

>>7916836
9 out of 10 scientist agree pinapple on pizza tastes like bitter pee

>>7916846
I've tried neither.
Problem?

>>7915976
How do they keep the shapes so uniform?

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>>7916822

Every fucking place I go someone is disparaging pineapple pizza

It's fucking good, get over it you cunt, sweet and salty go together perfectly and pizza that has ham + pineapple on it is fucking delicious

>>7911100

>Customer wants me to cut a ribeye and season it with our cracked pepper
>Wants it to be 1.25 pounds
>Cut one out
>Toss it on the scale
>Almost exactly 1.25 pounds, something like 1.24
>Say "Nice, right on the money"
>Customer sits there like a fucking robot and doesn't even blink
>Wrap it up and say "have a nice day" and they don't respond

Autists need to be gassed

>>7917117
no it's not, get better taste

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>tfw the deli place only measures up to two decimal places
>tfw being forced to carry 0.002 grams of surplus ham home

>>7910434
usually they ask "little over okay?"
and you can be like naw or yes.

>>7910792
At least we don't need to pay $2.20 to piss.

>>7910504
How would they track this, numbnuts? And what is stopping him from just saying he oversells everything?

Are you some sort of idiot?

Used to work deli, ask me anything.

>>7915043
tennessee here everything has like a 9.75% sales tax except for like benefit stores/donation stores like goodwill and shit

>>7917981

Interesting. Here in TX, most un-prepared food is not taxed. So if you bought a steak, gallon of milk, pound of beans, head of lettuce, etc, there's no tax on that. However if you buy something that's ready to consume (like, say, a meal at McDonalds) then that is taxed.

>>7917935
What brand do you recommend the most? What meats do you like?
I usually go for turkey or roast beef.

>>7917935
why do you think anyone gives a shit about you?

>>7918208
Sir, please... come on, man

Any other questions?

>>7918216

Did your deli do any in-house curing or cooking of the meats or did you simply resell the big national brands (hormel, boar's head, etc.)?

>>7918216
will we ever find a solution to the hard problem of consciousness

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>>7915652
> Dr. Fothergill's allotment

>>7918221
I can't answer that at this present time

AMA guys gotta bounce soon though

>>7918325
Nobody cares about your shit job, just leave

>>7910519
i worked retail for ten years, 450k would be an enormous boost for a single store. although that number isn't near realistic.

>>7918192
I really like Lebanon baloney, also, strangely enough the ShopRite liverwurst is better than it should be. Never buy the very underused expensive stuff unless they have just opened it because it sits so fucking long.

>>7912612
He got pissed off because you buying all of it means that for the rest of the sale he's going to have to deal with people getting pissy at him because he's out of the bacon.
He doesn't give a shit about selling the bacon, he won't see anything out of it and it's bacon, it'll sell itself. You being a fat fuck and buying two pounds of bacon means the rest of the day at least is going to be full of people giving him hell for something he has no control over.

Sure is autistic as fuck in here.

>>7910461
This is both a valid and stupid point.

Perplexing. I've been in a similar situation so I just stole the meat instead and used my 5 dollars to buy a quarter lb of cheese and a loaf of bread.

>>7918663
>has no control over
no

>>7911527
keep in mind with prawns you lose a lot of weight in the shell, head, tail etc. just like when you buy an ounce of weed at a dispensary, if it's too busy to pick all the stems out for you they'll often just give you an extra few grams on the house to try and even out the stem weight.

>>7910764
His name is Jamir, not Jamal and he's from Oman, not Africa you fucking racist. Maybe if you'd be courteous he'd give a shit about you.

>>7912564
>speech bubbles into the mouth
who drew this, a fucking 2yo? lol

>>7918710
Please explain to me how he has control over being bitched out by a customer because another customer cleared out a sale item.

>>7912877
17 year olds legally cannot work at a deli with a slicer.

>>7911527
>How is this fucking acceptable?

Because you were too much of a beta fuckwit to tell the clerk "no, I only need a pound please, that's too much, thanks".

>>7912942
This. No one cares but everyone argues and I wind up learning like 10 things that I wasn't interested in to begin with. And somehow those 10 useful things are never part of anyone's main argument. It's like "you stupid faggot don't you know that most people slice in grams instead of lbs even in America and *here is the secret to life* "

I love it.

>>7915680
brb starting a bartender thread. they're the worst.

>omg I had to spend 4 seconds to make only 1 dollar

>>7918727

He can remove the signage for the product the instant that it is sold out, then put something else in the display case in its place.

>>7916453
>Customer asks for capicola and ham
>give him capicola and ham
>he says he wanted just capicola
>tell him to grab a number
>NEXT

>>7910814
Why would I care about 3 pennies? I throw pennies away when I get them.

>>7916499
>Bakers are some of the most insufferable cunts. They literally go out of their way to make messes because they know they won't have to clean it.

I'm pretty sure I got fired for being slow at cleaning because of bakers at a job.

I mean I'm scheduled til 11 and you make a mess at 10:55 and I'm getting screamed at around 11:01 just because people are still bringing me things I'm required to clean before leaving otherwise I'd also get fired.

Fuck me I'm never working in a place like that again.

>>7918435
>Lebanon baloney

This is an actual thing? I'm from Lebanon and never hear of this. How is difference?

>>7918761
>tfw fucking vending machines don't even take pennies anymore
Can we just switch to a 5/10c based system please?

>>7917049
Mechanically separated meat press-molded into the proper shape.

>>7918769
Well for you it's surely just called baloney.
Do you guys have "American baloney" or something?

>>7918761
This is going to sound made up but I used to live with a Jewish couple and the girlfriend berated the dude for picking up a penny off of the street and the argument ended with him screaming "YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL JEW, YOU WERE ADOPTED"

over literally 1 penny.

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>>7918778
we call it Lebanon Bologna because I live in America and tricked you into thinking Lebanon Bologna was from Lebanon the country instead of Lebanon the county.

>>7918785
Ah, well. I'm glad I decided not to ask you how that 33% Syrian population was working for you.

>>7918727
First off he should have prepared properly and had a healthy excess of bacon. Then this>>7918755

>>7918769
It's a smoked, cured deli meat with a fermented sausage-like flavor. It's fairly popular at deli counters but I've never seen a packaged brand.

>>7913789
What if I dont want all that extra ham? Im just obligated to take it and eat more ham that week even if im not feeling it because the guy couldnt accurately measure?

>>7918801
He probably wasn't even the guy who decided the sale. It was either the manager seeing that bacon was running out of time or the distributor having a promotion. In the latter case he'd be especially SOL because the sale would be on fliers and phone apps and shit.
I'm sure private deli owners would be fine but the counter guy at safeway has little to no autonomy in this case.

>>7918816
>What if I dont want all that extra ham?

Depends on what you mean by "Extra".

If it's a tiny bit, like OP mentioned then sure, you take it because the tiny little amount of cost (and ham) is outweighed by you being a faggot and starting a scene over 0.04 lbs.

If the difference is significant then you just speak up and tell them that they weighed out too much and could they please give you the amount you asked for.

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Anyone else work at a sandwich shop where retards pay like 6-15 dollars for like $1 worth of deli ingredients?

I actively hate the people who ask for easy anything and give them extra. Fucking cunts, that'll show them for trying to waste money, now you have more food than you asked for.

I'm a horrible person

>>7918844
>where retards pay like 6-15 dollars for like $1 worth of deli ingredients?

You mean like most fast food?

>>7918814
Seltzer's is one packaged brand. Not sure it's available outside of PA/Amish country, though.
It has a picture of an Amish guy on it because the founder of the company is former Amish.
It's found in every refrigerator case in this area, right by the Sara Lee packaged lunch meats and the Oscar Meyer ones.
The regular one is good. The sweet one is shit. The regular one is already plenty sweet.

>>7918769
Hey Leb-bro. It's an American thing. It's most similar to beef salami because that's literally what it is, just sweeter. It's pretty good, IMO.

Have you ever had Algerian/Tunisian kashr? Literally "kosher," it's beef-and/or-lamb salami with green olives, black peppercorns and whole garlic cloves in it made by Jews in those countries. It's fucking wonderful and everyone should try it. Looks like the beni oui-oui finally got something right.

bait

>>7918844
Depends on how much your time is worth.

Making your own food and washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen take about an hour.

I make approx. $97 hourly. This means that my time is more valuable to waste on food prep.

Glad it makes the lowly sandwich worker feel good about it though.

>>7918930
>Making your own food and washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen take about an hour.

Fuck me, you can make several fancy dishes and clean up in that amount of time.

>> This means that my time is more valuable to waste on food prep.

But not too valuable to shitpost on 4chan?

>>7918936
I can't cook while I'm riding a taxi now, can I?

>>7916188
Even in burgerland any deli not from wallyworld (any even then many) will provide a graphic that tells how thick you want a slice from 1-9. I am not taking about the local deli either but giant chain stores.

Take to 10 seconds to read the graph and tell the deli and they will provide the exact slice you ask for.

>>7918930

>My time is too important for food prep
>Says the guy arguing with NEETS on 4chan

>>7918955
>what is a usb hot plate

>>7918955

Don't pretend you don't come on here when you are at home too.

>>7918992
>>7918936
>Falling for the ruse after he said $97 an hour

Nobody who browses here makes above $20/h. Maybe the occasional weeb football star in hiding.

>>7916846
9 out 10 scientists agree any study with plural scientists without the second s is a sign of stupidity.

File: stoned pooper.png (35KB, 500x498px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 500x498px

>>7918930
Next time you order a sandwich I'm going to triple the meat. That'll show you.

>>7918930
That cock better be worth sucking for that money.

>>7919002
I make 30/h with my company stealing off most of it, should have been making 55/h if not the case.

Physiotherapist here working as a caterer from time to time.

>>7910733
I work in a grocery store and this is so autistic I want to punch you in the dick twice

>>7919011
I'll just return it and have you make me a new one, cuck.

I work at a sandwich counter, it's not really a deli per se but if anyone has questions about it I've got a couple minutes

>>7910465
not thread relevant but good lord, thank for you letting me know this photo's existence.

*zooms in*

oh god...its so out of focus though when you enlarge it. It's ruined.

>>7919727
I'm sure a quick google search will unearth other similar pics.

>>7910434
Sometimes I hate myself for having autistic tendencies
Then I read this kind of shit and become very relieved

>>7911586
Please, I'd like to see you behind the counter, you'd be fumbling counting each shrimp and trying to estimate how much each weighs. Not all deli associates can guage the weight off hand, some are new, some are legit autists. Just fucking tell them to take whatever off, if your nice they may just toss it back on cuz it's easier to ficking lift the meat up then print and put it back down.

Past deli worker here. It's a horrible job and OP is unbelievably stupid.
I hope everyone realizes that in the deli you deal with people like this a few times every day, they actually exist.

>One time a customer wanted the seperate meats, and I bagged them all up to the exact hundredth on the first try, all three in a row
It felt amazing

>>7916273
Nah, if the delicuck gives me so much as .001 over or under what I requested, I toss the meat back in his face and then cum down his throat at gunpoint.

File: 1425524970591.jpg (78KB, 819x960px) Image search: [Google]

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>>7913789
>oppressed by thr deliarchy
I lost

>>7918192
Prosciutto you fucking cuck, what else?

>>7915652
wot the fok did ye just say 2 me droog? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest chellovek ull ever meet & ive nicked 300 candy bars from down the snicket. im trained in fisticuffs and ultra-violence & im the burliest ne'er-do-well in the entire newcastle gym, set yer watch n warrant. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil scamp w/ a hot mamachka & fake bling. ill bleed ye out, real savage like and rap a fokin bottle crost yer gulliver, i swer 2 christ. ya think u can fokin run ye gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again oh me brother. im callin me droogs rite now preparin for a spot of the ultra-violence thatll make ur old em sore jus slooshin about it. yer a right proper waste, oh me brother. my droogs be all over tha town proper & ill beat ya to a right jammiwam with me nogas you eunich jelly cur. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me droogs cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o’ newcastle ya bezoomny sooka. if ye had seen this bloody fokin shitshow a' commin ye might a’ kept ye rot from creechin'. but it seems yer a gloopy lil brat, oh me brother. ima shite fury & nary a millicent can save ye. best you blub to your ticky-tockers content. ur in proper dung heap now droog .

>>7911154


isn't it more like 52.2 or something don't feel like checking.

>>7919600
And I'll tell you to get the fuck out of my deli. If you want to act tough I'll cum on your sandwich and force feed it to you.