Hey /ck/, I need some help My mother has some friends coming

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>>7901439

Build-your-own crepes always seem fancy for pancakes and bowls of shit they have to assemble.

>>7901443
Half thinking of that. She has the most pretentious two faced friends.

>>7901449
That'd be good, but I want next to no chance of these dudes spilling stuff on themselves.

Semen smoothies are great! Everyone can make their own! Or mix and match!

Anchoïade with fresh crudites.
Bruschetta, or mini-pizza/flatbreads.
A fresh vegetable or two, steamed and lightly dressed with a good quality olive oil based dressin.
Roasted garlic on fresh baked baguette.
Homemade Hummus and pita.
Poke, if you have access to fresh fish.
Cold soba noodles with dipping sauce.
Ratatouille.
Falafel.
Caprese.
Lots of good wine and liquor so they're loaded before dinner and don't mind the fact that your mom can't cook.

>>7901443
chillwiches are crisp, good choice

Whatever it is, make sure it's vegan and gluten free as well as somehow paleo. Gay men are worse than 16-year old girls when it comes to following diet trends.

>>7901540
Damn, I wanna come to your dinner parties.

>>7901540
>>7901591
I'd add an assortment of quality meats & cheeses, fresh bread & good olive oil for apps. Dinner? Well, that's wide open. What's your level of cocking ability OP?

>>7901609
*cooking, but I guess under the circumstances that works as well

>>7901540
Thanks co/ck/guzzler. I'll look into these.

>>7901609
I can make tasty healthy things, but they don't look nice. I have a hard time, if I'm not following a recipe, getting spice proportions right.

I can caramelize onions in about 25 minutes, am good with BBQ and smoking stuff. My best thing I guess is smoking these bits of potato with some spices so that they're a little crunchy on the outside, but still have meat to them.

I don't come to /ck/ a whole lot, and don't have a good sense of where I'm at with ability.

>>7901625
Ok I've got you OP

Appetizer hang out hour:
Roasted garlic spread on toasted baguette rounds
A bruschetta mix on same rounds: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/recipe/fresh-tomato-toasts-bruschetta-di-pomodori.html (be careful plating the rounds, you don't want your homogay guests spilling tomato & olive oil down the front of their hickey freeman shirts)
Meat/cheese plate

Dinner:
Salad: mixed greens, cucumbers, sliced cherry tomatoes, shallots, dressed in champagne dressing, dusted with finely grated parmigiana cheese, easy black pepper

Main course:http://www.marthastewart.com/333090/spinach-and-brie-chicken-with-tomato-orz (MARTHA, I know, but you said you were best with a recipe, and this is easy, elegant, and can be done on the grill). Sub some other side like a simple risotto w mushrooms: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/85389/gourmet-mushroom-risotto/ or another orzo recipe if you go with the bruschetta at the front, don't want to get too tomato crazy.

If you wish to serve a soup course, a vichyssoise would be a good choice and is dead simple.

I'm assuming you're an Amercunt, and therefore since it's hot as fuck I've made the menu light.

Serve with plenty of sauvignon blanc

>>7901773
Thanks, this looks pretty good. I'll put out a bunch of wine and the apps, cook this thing then get out.

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>>7901773
Always great to see an anon being this helpful

>>7901773
not OP but thankful. I hope you stick around friend.

>>7901439
>I need some help
Tell your lazy cunt of a mother to learn how to cook and to get better friends.

>>7901773
And since faggots love dessert, and since you've put so much effort into the rest, get some supermarket pound or angel food cake, some 70% dark chocolate, some cool whip, and some frozen berry slurry, raspberry jam, what ever, slice the cake thin, dress each slice with a bit of jam, cool whip, stack three high, break off a piece of chocolate haphazardly, shove it through the center of the stack, put a dollop of cool whip next to it. Wa-la. To the other anons, thanks.

>>7901856
I've tried to get her to stop purchasing pre-made hamburgers, and gobs of other ~5 min meals, but I always get
>oh, I know I shouldn't, but it's just so convenient

When she visits my place, she's always concerned about the lack of food. It's not that I don't eat, it's just that I stock food for the next week or two, and not all the frozen dinner schtuff.

I got her on a smoothie kick after I made one with a little fruit, a little milk, and a ton of spinach. She thinks it's healthy, but she doesn't even put spinach in it.
You can't even taste it over the sweetness of the bananas.