How the fuck do I make mayonnaise? Is there any bulletproof recipe

try mixing it with a little dijon mustard

mustard has emulsifying properties

>>7748023
idk but if you try to make it and it breaks heating/cooking it a bit thickens it up to the point where it resembles mayo.

>>7748023
Try not to leave too much egg white in with the yolks.

>>7748023
I fuck up aioli all the time when I use grapeseed oil, seems to work better with olive but I want a neutral tasting oil because I add herbs and shit to it.

>>7748087
>literally making scrambled eggs
Don't do this, OP.

>>7748023
Buy an immersion blender or learn to love the drippy droppy pour for 20 minutes while you whisk.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/10/two-minute-mayonnaise.html

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IT'S REALLY HARD

>>7749747
I don't think I'm healthy enough to scream that furiously.

>>7748023
use a robocoup you fucking retard.

>>7749855
robocop is for fighting crime not making mayonnaise

>>7749870
what the fuck did you just say to me, you little dish washer? i've been on the line for over 18 mother's days, i've had over 341 confirmed five star dishes served. fucking come at me, i will hunt you down and fuck your 'mayo' up. nigger.

>>7749894
kek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saU3_xJJrCg

how make mayonaz like true slav

Life is way to short to make condiments.

>>7750578
Boris is such a meme cunt. God, I hate this Pole faggot.

>>7749560

>making it entirely with olive oil
gross

At most you should add a little bit of olive then use veg oil, preferably all veg oil

>>7750646
Each to his own.

>>7750660
His to each one.*

>>7750683
I don't know what are you on about.*

>>7750698
Watch some flicks, kid.
ftfy

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When I was a cook I did it like so (makes 4 litres)

Using electric whisks or electric Kitchen Aid or similar mixer

Juice half a lemon
7 egg yolks ~70g
90g Dijon
20g Sea Salt
Start whisking
Slowly add in the first bit of oil
Once this is emulsified you can pour a steady stream of oil in, making sure not to pour it in faster than it is emulsified
Add water if it starts to become too thick (no more than 200ml)
Pour in oil until it begins taking ages to emulsify ~3.5 Litres of oil needed
Season to taste with perhaps more sea salt and perhaps Cider Vinegar (no more than 50ml)

its not hard, put some egg yolks in a bowl, add some mustard and whip til ribbon stage, slowly add your oil, ad some salt and pepper, slowly add you oil and if its getting to thick just add some water or lemon juice to thin it out. I think you want about 150ml of oil per yolk

>>7750714
Snakes like you usually die of their own poison.

>>7750749
>20g Sea Salt
Isn't that a tad too much?

>>7750792
No.

>>7750792
Not in four litres. Normally add a pinch more at the end

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>>7748023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saU3_xJJrCg

>>7751300
Boris is such a meme cunt. God, I hate this Pole faggot.

>>7748023
White girls are so disgusting.

>>7748023
its CTA but not sure if red or blue line...