What can I eat to give me tremendously nauseating farts? I'm

Cabbage, beans, brussel sprouts, eggs, heart. Don't chew properly before swallowing, just chew enough that you can safely swallow.

White Castle sliders will give you death farts equal to the amount you injest

Roast a head of garlic and eat it a couple hours before you need to drive everyone away.

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>>7706132
what did I just read?

Fiber one bars
I swear, eat like three, around six hours before you want results
They don't stink as much, but they give you the hard-to-obtain volume and frequency

If you want to rip ass that sounds like ripping canvas, every thirty seconds for a half hour, fiber one bars will get it done

>>7706132
Onions! Onions, onions, and more onions! With every meal for one day. Onion soup produces especially rancid farts.

There are two aspects to it: Quality and quantity of farts.

Quantity is best increased with some of the foods already named: Garlic and onions but also artichokes, leeks, etc. as well as cabbage and legumes. However, garlic has the highest concentration of fermentable fiber of any commonly consumed food (up to 20% which is 3 times more than onion and 10 times more than wheat)

Quality (i.e. smell) is adjusted with foods of the Brassica genus, as well as eggs and some others. Wet farts smell stronger by releasing shit particles into the air, so it helps to consume laxatives like prunes, but also hot spices.

try protein shakes, ask /fit/ for the details, but it seems those farts can kill small living beeings

If I drink stout I do some rancid farts the next day.

Last time a got on a plane I was drinking stout the night before and my brother who was sitting next to me got up half way through the flight and changed seats.

>>7706904
Protein shakes with whole milk. I can still remember the looks of disgust i had in my economics class

Quorn and Jerusalem artichokes. Seriously, their wikipedia article has a fucking historical quote about how viciously ass gas inducing they are.

>>7706132
Find a way to get Crohn's Disease, I've had since I was 11 and I know for a fact no one wants to be near me since it doesn't matter what I eat my farts will always smell like I store small dead animals in my anus.

chorizo

>>7706987
I can verify this. My dad had crohns and typical 'dad fart' smell has nothing on his

>>7706600
hahahahaha what? That's glorious.

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>>7707008

>>7706132

Haribo sugar free gummy bears.

http://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears-5LBS/dp/B00CMS97YS#customerReviews

>>7706132
A LOT of eggs. Load up on the sulfur

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>>7707007
It doesn't help that I also had to have my gallbladder removed when I turned 25 on top of my already existing crohn's. It's a fucking natural disaster, its so fucking bad I dont even want to be near myself.

>>7707060
The amazon reviews for these things are hilarious.

>>7707070
This is the secret to an all-day fartathon, but I don't think they'll generate much smell. If you combine them with sulfurous stuff you'll become a bioweapon factory

Some motherfucker actually uploaded a recording of their Fiber One farts http://www.pleasegodno.com/uploads/FiberPoo.wav

Wait this one's better. http://www.pleasegodno.com/uploads/moreGAS20090522.mp3

Just eat anything that kashi makes. That stuff should come with a warning label.

Fiber one bars.

>>7707327

hardest ive laughed in a while

>>7706132

How has nobody mentioned sauerkraut yet?

It's like Agent Orange for your rectum

>>7707161
Sorry about that dude. We just had a guy get taken off payroll here at work because he was out for more than a month due to crohns. Hope they cure it soon.

>>7706917
>which way soever they be dressed and eaten, they stir and cause a filthy loathsome stinking wind within the body, thereby causing the belly to be pained and tormented, and are a meat more fit for swine than men.

I know what I'm having for dinner.

>>7706132
eat sugar free candy, meat, garlic, and raw broccoli dipped in some sort of creamy salad dressing ideally blue cheese

this diet will increase both the volume and stinkiness of your flatulence

>>7707543
I forgot also eggs. Eggs are like a double wammy because protein makes your shit stank but they also have that sulfur for added effect

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>>7706132
If you want to go for the gold and you're willing to put in the effort, talk to a trader who does exotic food import and order some swedish surströmming (pic related is a good brand).

The correct way to eat it for a newbie is on white flatbread (hard or soft), with chopped raw onion, regular sourcream, grated hard strong cheese, chopped tomatoes and regular potatoes. Don't skimp on the onion.
Don't eat the fish whole, take out the spine, organs and skin it first you dummy.

If you eat it this way, it is good even for someone who's scared of it. Over here people who don't like it stay well away from fellow enthusiasts, but they know what it is. You have the element of surprise, he will not stand a chance.

Do know that this is Zyklon B for your intestines. When you open the can you will feel nausea and probably wonder if this is right. Yes it is right. Embrace the death you are about to become. The pain will fade for you, you might even grow to like it, but your poor victim will never be the same.

>>7707690
What's with swedish people and rotten shit?

>>7707327
Made me laugh like a lunatic!

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>>7707694
it's all the nords m8, short summers means they need to find ways to preserve stuff and fermentation works pretty well

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>>7707694
He wanted the best fart generator, i gave him the fucking Rolls Royce of ass-borne death.

>muh history, traditions, culture etc.
It's good, easy as that.

Raw Potatoe. Your body will have to work harder at breaking down the uncooked starches, and I can say from personal experience, this works brilliantly. Also it's cheap and not exotic.

If in North America, canned Puritan Beef Stew also works, but most of it's value is in pure volume of gas moreso than toxicity

>>7707070
They're discontinued, unfortunately.

I know this because I had a buddy who wound up in prison and I wanted to send him a bag of them (removed from the original package, of course, so he didn't know what they were) as a joke.

Can't get them anymore. Even on Amazon, they sell different sugar-free gummy bears, but not the Haribo ones.

Dayum shame.

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mfw this thread

>>7706132
You know you can just call the training manager and get a different trainer, right?

>>7706132
I was hungry after drinking loads of beer and really wanted a cheese toasty, the only problem was that the only cheese I had to hand was wensleydale with chunks of apricot.

Let me tell you, the farts I had the next day would have cleared the room at a hyposmia convention.

>>7706132
I'd try spaghetti with garlic sauce and cole slaw. Maybe followed by a big plate of brocolli and some pinto beans.

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>>7707060
brb buying six boxes of fibre 1 bars

>>7707957
>cheese toasty with wensleydale with chunks of apricot

That sounds interesting, how was it?

>>7707883
if these are horse trainers they probably all have it coming.

>>7707988
Those will make you fart but you need something for the smell, red meat, onions and eggs should do it.

a bunch of sauted onions and a jar of kim chee.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned mushrooms, get a whole assortment of those things, I find shiitake work pre well.

>>7707777
check em

>>7707777
Checked
>>7708528

>>7706680
>Wet farts smell stronger by releasing shit particles into the air, so it helps to consume laxatives like prunes, but also hot spices.

So the poo in loo meme about India has scientific basis behind it? That's pretty funny.

>>7706132
Natural Ice, PBR