I always fail at making pastry cream. Instead of smooth and shiny

>>7576821
Just marry me, I hate that stuff anyway.

Temper and use a whisk and dont leave that shit

>>7576874
I'm not retarded.

>>7576879
Yeah you are, you're asking this fast food board how to make pastry cream.

>>7576884
If it was as easy as "temper your eggs" and "stir constantly" I wouldn't need to ask in the first place.

File: 320px-Viscosity_of_egg_yolk_during_heating.svg.png (7KB, 320x211px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 320x211px

>>7576821
Try using a dough scraper instead of an eggbeater. If you want to really make sure you're not overheating, you can use a thermometer and pic related.
A common test to see if your cream is ready is to put some cream on the other side of a spoon and blew on it. If waves form you're good to go.

Straining can help with graininess, not sure why it would come out matte.

Former pro-baker here. While I mostly made bread, I also worked with pastry cream from time to time. Here's how I make it:

Whip yolks with CANE sugar or powdered sugar until light in colour. Making pastry cream at home, I found that beet sugar tended to go grainy.
>add a split and scraped vanilla pod, if you'd like and...
Cook yolks in double boiler whilst whisking in cream or half cream/half milk or plain milk.
Keep cooking/whisking on double boiler until reduced and thick. Shouldn't take long at all.
>if desired, add vanilla essence then...
Remove from the heat.
Pass through sieve.
>to be sure you remove any vanilla bean sediment, if using, and any clumps that may have formed (unlikely if you did it correctly)

There you are. Hope it helps.

use pudding instead

This is the only recipe I've done that has called for pastry cream, and I didn't have any issues.

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2013/04/bee-sting-cake/

It's possible that you're beating your ingredients too much. When I over whip any kind of cream, I get a grainy texture.

Maybe your ingredients are failing you? Bad ratio or something.

Walk me through your process. I'm not sure what's going wrong for you. This recipe has never failed me, and I've multiplied it out to make six of these cakes a couple times.

On the side, if you ever want to impress your mom/wife/gf, this is the cake. It works at any time of year, and it's fucking delightful.

>>7577025
looks tasty af gonna try this one

>>7577089

It's one of the handful of cakes that people ask me to make again by request. I think it's 'cause it tastes like a cake and a brioche at the same time.