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Why is it so damn hard to make decent General Tsao's chicken?

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Thread replies: 67
Thread images: 9

Why is it so damn hard to make decent General Tsao's chicken?
>>
>>7187055
Why don't you tell us what's wrong with your current efforts so we can all laugh at you and maybe someone will give you some pointers as to where you're fucking up.
>>
It's a shitty made up food designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator? This is like asking why is it hard to make a decent Twinkie, the whole concept sucks from the get go
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>>7187158
You've never had good general tso's chicken or a fresh twinkie.
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>>7187055
Are you Asian?
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>>7187165
>good general tso's chicken

>let's take chicken!
>and coat it in sugar!
>now some garlic!
>add soy sauce!
>Why?
>Because I hate myself and anyone I might want to feed!
>fry the shit out of it!
>add water!
>Why?
>See above!
>Pour over rice!
>Serve to Amerislops!
>They love it!

no
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>>7187206
Like I said, you've never had good general tso's chicken. So put a cork in it you angst ridden teen.
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>>7187206
This. The whole idea of 'good' GT chicken is what's wrong here.
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>>7187247
>i'm an elitist east coast faggot who refuses to countenance chinese food unless it's some obscure hipster shit like hunan-style tripe with wok-fried durian fruit
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>>7187258
>he thinks hunan-style [sic] tripe with wok-fried durian fruit is obscure
It's hainanese, dumbass, and you're living under a fucking rock apparently

I bet your local hole in the wall doesn't even serve preserved 白鱀豚-fin soup buns in the peranakan style. Go back to your Panda Express, adults are talking.
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>>7187284
Not him, but I grew up in SG and Hainanese stuff isn't the same as Hunan stuff. Are you sure you're not the idiot here?
I've had tongue and tripe in chilli oil which I've been told is a typically Hunan dish. Knowing no one from Hunan, I can't confirm whether the dish is from there or not but considering that Hainanese tends to shy away from using chilli oil that way, I would guess that it just might be.
I don't think they eat durian in Hunan, but I'm not sure. Tamils in SG stir-fry jackfruit, though, or make it into curry. Both are delicious.
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>>7187284
>he thinks hunan and hainan are the same thing
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>>7187304
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>>7187311
>outed as an idiot
>"y-you're a-autistic!!!"
S'okay, champ. You'll get'em next time.
>>
>>7187316
>I'm completely incapable of picking up on the crudest, most overt social cues unless they are spelled out in literal words
This is, in fact, the actual, medical definition of autism. Get yourself checked by a doctor.
>>
>>7187319
Lost Argument And Is Angry About It: The Post
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>>7187324
>damage control: the ongoing series
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>>7187055
The serious eats recipe is pretty good
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>>7187327
>Being Retarded: Now a Major Motion Picture starring your posts
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>>7187335
You got buttblasted and typed out a serious reply to a joke that should have been obvious to anyone with a partly functioning brain. There is no recovering from this, just slink away anonymously unless you want to blare your autism like a trumpet cry, showing off your failure to the entire board.
>>
>>7187319
No, I got the jokes. They were shitty jokes. Especially the first one because it was obvious that you honestly thought that Hunan was a misspelling of Hainan. Which is why I referred only to that first part and not the similarly obvious and shitty joke that followed it.

Finding something that's not funny to be not funny is not autistic. It's human. You're not funny. You have no friends. And nobody will ever love you.
Enjoy your Christmas, alone, with no one as you contemplate suicide. Enjoy your New Year's sleeping and missing the countdown because you had no one to spend it with. And enjoy Valentine's day thereafter posting to /r9k/ and /pol/ about how women are horrible because nobody wants an unfunny chucklefuck like you as a partner.
The rest of us will be living our lives.
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>>7187339
You're the one who was too stupid to differentiate between hunan and hainan and then made a piss-poor attempt to pass it off as a joke.
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>>7187347
>Finding something that's not funny to be not funny is not autistic. It's hainan.
ftfy
>>
>>7187347
Apparently you're not just autistic, but also too stupid to understand what [sic] means.
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>>7187353
>not fujian
Pig disgusting.

>>7187354
Keep tryin'. At least until your all-consuming depression pulls the trigger.
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>>7187311
>>
>>7187354
>[sic]
I don't think that word means what you think it means. Protip: It means "like this"
>>
>>7187360
Please write up another 5 paragraph essay in misresponse to another shitpost and then try to tell me about your wonderful, emotionally fulfilling life.
>partner
Also keep your fabulous homosexuality under wraps, we don't need to read that shit.
>>
>>7187360
>not fujian
idgi
>>
>>7187366
>babby's first use of wikipedia
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>>7187367
>boohoo
Here's a tissue.
>>
>>7187372
>still trying to dig out
First it wasn't a joke, then you knew it was a joke but it wasn't funny, and now you knew it was funny but you weren't in a good mood because your "partner" gave you AIDS.

Sorry about the AIDS.
>>
>>7187370
idgi either
Just wanted to type out 'Fujian.' idky
>>
>>7187339
Gotcha! I'm just pretending to be retarded!
>>
>>7187377
It's because you think mindlessly reciting places in Asia will make you somehow more acceptable to them.

Protip: it won't
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>>7187376
see >>7187372
>>
>>7187381
Nope, you were dead serious because you think this is your blog and we're all your special friends.
>>
>>7187382
What does this even mean? Are you drunk?
>>
>>7187387
see >>7187324
and >>7187316
and >>7187335
as well as >>7187364
>>
>>7187388
>durr durr I grew up in singapore but I'm gonna talk about places that are 3000 miles away, also let me tell you about this malay trap I fellated once, did you know my nanny's name is ping-pong? so anyway here's a tl;dr about my holiday plans

This is you
>>
>>7187371
If only you had looked it up before trying to claim that it somehow proves you were merely pretending to be retarded by stating that Hunan and Hainan were the same thing you could have avoided compounding your stupidity and thereby spared yourself further embarassment.

At this point you're pretty much on the same level as a toddler who's just shat himself on a busy station platform and is running around screaming "I done a plop-plop" to the mortification of its parents and the general amusement of the nearby commuters.
>>
Xiaoshing
Sesame oil
MSG
dark soy sauce
Loads of fresh ginger and garlic
Palm sugar
>>
>>7187394
>>7187397
You're very upset. Were I such a huge a faggot as you are, I'd be upset, too, I guess.
>>
>>7187397
But the entire premise of the joke was that *the other guy* was mistaken about Hunan vs Hainan, and I was being an elitist snob who was correcting you.

So you've failed on multiple levels:
1. Failing to recognize the original guy was describing an intentionally silly sounding recipe that doesn't actually exist
2. Failing to recognize that durian doesn't grow in hunan
3. Failing to recognize the picture of the Asian man with fishtank earrings as a sign of sarcasm
4. Failing to recognize that I was expanding on the other guy's joke by implying that his dish was in fact well-known, from Hainan, and that he was simply too uncultured to know the difference between Hunan and Hainan
5. Failing to recognize the ironic use of the term "hole in the wall"
6. Failing to recognize an even more ludicrous nonexistent recipe made of an endangered species
7. Failing to pick up on the heavy-handed "Panda Express" and "adults are talking" insults, dropped in there so that even the slowest of slowpokes would stop before embarrassing themselves

You've made an ass of yourself, it's time to take your AIDS drugs and retire from the internet forever.
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>>7187405
You do realize you're replying to two people who are having an argument with one another, don't you?
>>
>>7187414
see
>>7187364
>>
>>7187416
its actually at least 3
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>>7187419
>I've been throughly BTFO so I'll just repeat myself until he goes away
You lost, get over it. This is what happens when people with disabilities try to participate in things they don't understand.
>>
>>7187416
You do understand there are at least three people telling one guy who made a shitty joke confusing Hunan and Hainan then had a nervous breakdown about some imagined personality that he's an idiot, right?
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>>7187425
mommy never loved me: the post
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>>7187424
Reading this sperg-tastic argument is like watching 2 gibbons try to fuck a football.
>>
>>7187429
My childhood traumas projected onto others: the post

Tell us about being wet-nursed by ping-pong again, you'll feel better in no time
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>>7187426
>joke
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>>7187431
Link to youtube vid please, that sounds pretty entertaining.
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>>7187433
>us
Don't put me in with you, sperglord.
>not wanting to suck titmilk from hot asian bitches
Faggot.
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>>7187397
>>
>>7187470
>Scene: office kitchen area, Monday am
>"so, what did you do this weekend Steve?"
>Oh you know, I finished up my Christmas shopping and prepped the spare room for my wife's sister who's coming to stay with us. You?"
>"I took the kids tobogganing down Murch's Hill. It was exhilarating! How about you, anon?"
>"w-well, I lost an argument on the Internet but rather than admit defeat and do something productive I called everyone autistic and posted image macros for four hours lol [sic]"
>"Uh, that's, um, great. Well, best start working anon, those McMuffins aren't going to McCook themselves"
fin
>>
/ck/ doesn't have generals.
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>>7187528
see >>7187316
>>
>>7187528
Seems like you're getting kind of worked up there.
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>>7187528
McDonald's doesn't have an office kitchen.
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Is it chow or so chicken?
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>>7187737
Like the ZZ in 'pizza.'
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>>7187414
>cramming this much autism into one post
>>
>>7187055
It's because you touch yourself at night.
Once you admit to being a night toucher then you can begin to cure the disease. You might need to start with spiky gloves.

Depeche Mode - Shake The Disease (P.I.T. ZDF 19.05.1985)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=EFeh8TGOVrQ
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>>7187788
Yur mum was pretty autistic after I crammed her with my post

Depeche Mode- Everthing Counts -rare -1983 German TV Cologne WWF Club
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLDXspMqgbk
>>
>>7187055
I actually made some general tso's the other night and it was pretty decent.
Used this recipe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-47GhOl9hB0
Thread posts: 67
Thread images: 9


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