Local Lolita Comm thread

Does anyone have tips for organising themed meets in a small comm without looking like you're being selfish and just want a theme revolving around your stuff? I don't want to seem like I'm excluding anyone but there's also no point theming meets if nobody follows the theme.

>>9284648
I can't help you but I hate that my comm tries to put a theme to every meet. Almost no one follows it.

Christmas meet next week. There's a gift exchange. I was working on some new stuff for my etsy that I know a gothic lolita would appreciate, and was so happy when I got assigned the gothiest goth in the comm. Sadly, the host forgot to add herself and scrambled it. My new giftee kind of wears anything and everything and I'm not sure what to make them.

>>9284652
I think I'm in your comm and got the gothiest lolita on the second round. It kind of sucks because I would have easily been able to pick up something sweet, I only really have one gothic idea.

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There's a lolita I knew in my Comm got banned a month ago and now she's having a leaving lolita sale soon. I'm so excited cause she has lots of brand and has a couple of DDs I want. I'll wear them better than she ever did.

>>9284674
Is she gonna post it on the FB sales groups cause I am coming into a lot more money.

>>9284661
If that gothiest lolita's initials were SM, did you maybe wanna trade giftees? I got our resident transtrucker and she'd probably adore a sweet thing more than my oddities. I'm sure the hostess won't mind, so long as everyone's getting a gift.

I moved to a new state less than six months ago, and now when I look at recent meet photos from my old comm, I only recognize a third of the members. It's not like my comm is big - there's only ~100 people in the FB group.

Tbh a lot of these members are either ita or nitpick tier.

>>9284791
So are you like amazing at coording in comparison?

>>9284648
Just stress that the theme is optional but encouraged, and that it could be their interpretation of the theme.

But I'm with >>9284649 themed meets are irritating and the group pictures look retarded

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>>9284793
> reaching this much

>>9284805
I just want to match people and none of my actually close lolita friends have similar wardrobes. ;_; some of my comm have the same sort of print themes and substyle items as me, but it's maybe 25% of the members.

>>9284809
I mean, I don't get why people come here and are like "ugh all these itas in my comm'
like what are you exactly?

>>9284810
What theme are you trying to do anon?

>>9284810
just approach the people in your com with a similar wardrobe and ask if they want to wear matching coords to a meet. planning a whole meet that's going to make people feel obligated to wear clothes that match you just because you want to play samesies is rude (and kind of weird)

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>>9284819
>(and kind of weird)
This. I feel like people in my comm are obsessed with twinning. Stop trying to force it so damn much. Yes, it's neat that in lolita people can wear the same thing and it's not seen as a faux pas. But give it a rest.

>>9284819
I dunno, not that anon but I feel like approaching strangers and asking to twin is weirder than organising a themed meet (although both are weird if the theme is something most of the comm don't have).

>>9284870
>although both are weird if the theme is something most of the comm don't have
That's the problem with my comm's meets. They don't ask what people have available in their closest. They expect everyone to have a misty sky ready to go.

>>9284791
I feel this. I moved to another state early this year and now see my old comm is a 180 from what it used to be. a bunch of new members and most of them are like 17 years old. It's weird.

>>9284674
oooh, how did she get banned?

>>9284648
Go with themes that cover a wide range of things that can be found in all styles, so instead of chocolate or flowers, go with romance.

>>9284810
If you can think of an event that would suit the theme you want to wear, that would be fun and not look like you're trying to force a theme for your own self interests. ex: "let's all go to the planetarium and it will be space themed!"

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>>9284636
>Go to first big comm meet
>I'm pretty small and entirely flat chested, most burando fits very well
>Most of the other girls are average sized or on the bigger side
>I'm obviously nervous with the big group of strangers, kind of standing around awkwardly
>To my relief another girl notices and comes over to chat
>General introductory small talk at first: how long have you been into Lolita, hobbies, etc.
>Suddenly changes
>Friendly girl is very big
>"Wow anon you're so lucky you're so skinny and can fit into everything. I have so much trouble finding lolita clothes. They really need to make more sizes not just for super skinny girls"
>Yeah haha I guess so
>This happened with several other plus size girls
>"Anon, you and (other petite girl) are so lucky I bet it's so easy for girls like you"
>"I made this blouse myself it's not easy when you aren't tiny like you and (other petite girl)
>Part of meet was outside and pretty cold
>Girls talking about extra layers to keep warm
>I mention im wearing two layers of fleece tights
>Chubby lolita looks at my legs
>"I would have never noticed, anon, your legs look so skinny under so many layers when mine would look so fat. It's not fair how skinny girls can wear anything and look so cute, plus sized girls have to try really hard."
I thought maybe the first was just awkward, but several? Who thinks this is acceptable small talk? How is anyone supposed to respond politely? Maybe all that salt's making them bloated.

The girls in my comm are seriously poorly behaved at meetups and I don't know how to politely get them to change their ways

>>9286541
iktf

>>9286514
My comm isn't quite as bad but yeah, this is really common. Especially in lolita because it seems to attract fat girls for some reason while it's catered to Japanese girls and generally only comes in one size. Usually I just smile, nod and try to change the subject. There's no better way to reply when people start throwing a pity party and you're not invited, at least not that I've found. When it happened at my first meetup and I mentioned Chantilly and Maxicham the girl got pissy with me because those aren't AP and she specifically wanted AP...
I do get annoyed though, especially on behalf of the tall girls in my comm who hardly complain about anything. For fuck's sake if your fat gut makes it hard for you to fit clothes at least you can lose weight, it's not like tall girls can do anything to get shorter. If they can go an entire meet without whining then why can't you?

>>9286514
I don't get it, all these girls are complementing you on how petite you are and that bothers you?

>>9286657
Those are backhanded compliments at best. Telling someone they're "so lucky" and complaining about how things aren't "fair" etc. don't make good compliments, nor do they lead to healthy conversation. It's self centered whining and like >>9286563 said, there's no good response to these statements.
I hope you're just trolling and that your social skills aren't so poor as to make you think those things are okay to say.

>>9286657
It's not a complement! It's uncomfortable and invasive. Why strangers think they can just walk up to me and ask about my weight, sizes or try to lift me is beyond me. It's rude and tacky so stop.

>>9284809
Offtopic, but why does the left one have thick layer of white lipstick?

>>9286693
...that's an open-mouthed grin with two rows of teeth, anon.

>>9286700
Oh. My bad.

>>9286514
Had something similar happen to me.

>petite and have really small shoulders
>just bought my dream dress
>spared no expense
>dress is too large in shoulder and bust
>pretty sad since I spent a lot of money
>made the mistake of mentioning this at a meet
>girls jump down my throat that it's a good problem to have
>your so lucky
>my thigh is bigger than you
>are you really more flat chested than an Asian?!
>I was so embarrassed

Even if the reason is different from most I still bought a dress that won't fit and that's always frustrating

>>9286514
>>9286716
ugh as a tiny white chick this sort of shit is annoying 110% of the time

also why do fatties always feel the need to make some back-handed comment about our boobs (or lack thereof)?

>>9286729
reminds me of when people tell artist they "totes hate them" for being talented at art. they think its a compliment but its fucking annoying to no end

>>9284822
I remember the times when twin meets where a thing

>>9286721
But we did mock her? Maybe she's just unaware of our ita thread and what a hugbox Facebook is

>>9286729
It's them projecting. I find it even funnier when I get made fun of for eating something healthy like a salad or casually mention that I exercise. The fact that taking care of yourself is viewed as "weird" in the US is not a good sign haha

>>9286738
Definitely.

>>9286716
>>9286514
Oh god, I've had really similar experiences with the fat chicks in my comm, but on kind of the opposite spectrum.
>be very small waisted, but with big boobs
>bust is only thing that keeps me from fitting certain dresses
>Lady Rose comes up one day
>say how it's one of my dream prints, but my favorite versions won't fit because of the stupid fucking chest ribbon turning my tits into stuffed sausages, so the skirt and OP are my only options
>get FB message from comm admin that the fatties were triggered by my complaint and while she totally thinks they were being dumb, I might want to avoid mentioning my figure even when it's relevant to what their talking about
>she literally says word for word "I mean, you know how sensitive bigger gals can be about that sort of thing, even when it's not remotely offensive"

>>9286729
Because their boobs are the only thing they think they have over skinny girls. Note, I say "think" because the vast vast majority of the het/bi male population would choose a thin flatty over a hambeast's saggy gross giant tits any day.

Also, when you have boobs, it goes from back-handed comments about your lack of them to back-handed comments about how proportionately awkward you look. Because the worst sin you can commit against a landwhale is being thin with big tits.

>>9286721
For me, the cancer is less from her unsolicited advice and more from her need to make it all about her.

>>9284648
I think themed meets should depend on what the meet actually is. For instance, if you're going to see a Broadway show, have the theme be "musical prints". Or if you're going ice skating, "winter prints"

>>9286716
>your so lucky
>my thigh is bigger than you
Should've offered the dress to her thigh.

>>9286773
>het/bi male population would choose a thin flatty over a hambeast's saggy gross giant tits any day.
Anecdotal, but I know a lot of normie guys who will take giant tits at every price. Usually more bro/lower-class types for some reason, don't know if it's peer pressure to act super heterosexual even if it's not really their fetish.

>>9286514
They think it's something you want to hear. I had a comm member tell me over and over how "skinny" I am. I'm not even skinny lol, my waist is 78 cm. I guess she thought I was doing a false modesty trip. The most awkward part was that I couldn't get her to stop commenting about my size and how I "don't even know how lucky I am to fit brand"

>>9286514
I'm a fatty-chan (by cgl standards, I fit brand) and that stuff makes me cringe. I have friends who were bullied for being too skinny in school, I don't want to continue that attitude. I avoid talking about sizing and fit for this reason.

>>9286879
>I know a lot of normie guys who will take giant tits at every price. Usually more bro/lower-class types for some reason
>Usually more bro/lower-class types for some reason
That reason is because only the trashiest of trash pay attention to tit size and literally nothing else

>>9286785
she cant just say "yea my opinion is this" she has to be ~so educational, knowledgeable, advanced class~ in her manner of speaking and every time i question if she even owns a mirror

>>9286693
>>9286700
>tfw now I can't unsee the clown makeup

I HATE my comm sometimes. They have no consideration for anyone else. I tried to host a meetup, but I couldn't go because I was sick. My friend went though and she was alone. Like 2 people who rsvped canceled ahead of time, the rest didn't even bother.
The previous meets have had very few people who said they'd be there, actually come. The mods live out of state, and the only one who lives nearby hasn't been to a meet in over a year. What's even the point anymore?

>>9286683
>try to lift me
Oh fuck no. People are trying to literally pick you up?
I'd hit them in self defense and if they didn't stop I'm calling the cops. I don't put up with unwanted touching, let alone someone pretending to be a lumberjack with me. The actual fuck?

>>9287093
>tried to host a meetup
>but I couldn't go


Sorry anon, I kind of stopped caring after that. If a host doesn't attend their own meet how can there be enough interest for others to invest their time to something that will be disorganized and will most likely not happen.

Next time if you don't feel up for it just cancel it and reschedule for a better time. Make the meet pre-paid so that people who drop out risk losing their money.

>>9286721
Why does someone who wears regular office blouses with lolita and poses like that think she's qualified to give any advice?

I'd like to take this time to publicly thank the comm girls who waited in the rain for the AP lucky packs last weekend because one of them sold me a dress I wanted for less than $100 and that's a great fucking feeling.

>>9286657
It's incredibly rude to comment on something as personal as a stranger's weight, especially if it's back handed. Take anything else, like eye color for example: would you feel good if someone said "wow anon your eyes are beautiful, you're lucky they don't look like dogshit like mine". It comes off as jealous and disingenuous and makes everyone uncomfortable.

>>9287150
It also comes off as aggressive compliment fishing. Like, whenever a fat chick says something like "omg anon, I'd kill to be as thin as you, it's not fair" what are you supposed to say other than a compliment you might not really mean about how they look fine?

>>9287177
>"I wish I could eat whatever I want and not care like you! You're so brave"
Kek

>>9287180
>"I wish I had the courage to look like you and still allow myself to be photographed. You're a true inspiration."

"Please don't compliment me as a way to put yourself down. It doesn't make me feel very good."

-someone who has been getting those comments their whole life
calls them out for being manipulative without sounding like a complete douche.

>>9287123
Yep actually lift me up. Happened a lot in highschool and at cons. I was very meek and never spoke up much until one day my junior year when they started throwing me to their friends. That was the last straw and I lost my shit.

>>9286514
Man I am always worried about something like this happening to me, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when discussing fit with bigger girls. Luckily(?) even though I'm thin, I'm tall so I can still talk about how not everything fits I guess. I know the feeling of being self conscious or embarrassed of body size even if it's small, I don't get why people bring it up in weird ways.

>>9287093
uhh if you were sick you probably just should have canceled the meetup? It is expected for the host, to actually host. It sounds like it wasn't a paid for venue or anything so I mean, why should anyone show up if the host isn't there?

>>9287201
Out of curiosity what is your height and weight, if you don't mind answering? I've had my male and bulldyke friends ask if they can bench press me, but fortunately they never did this without my consent.

>>9287201
>when they started throwing me to their friends. >That was the last straw and I lost my shit.
Good lord. I get horsing around and stuff and like >>9287243 said, if you're okay with it. Like I've asked to pick people up, and I'm not even that big, but they agreed, I didn't just snatch them off the fucking ground. That or we knew each other long enough to know it'd be okay to take something that far...

>>9287243
I don't mind when it has relevance to a conversation. I am 5'1 and 97 lbs. I have multiple issues that make it difficult for me to gain and maintain weight

>>9286514
>>9286716
I'm fairly small and I have this happen to me all the time in lolita and outside of lolita. I have a lot of trouble fitting into clothes in the bust and leg area. Some brand fits me and some hangs loose but I always get, "You're so lucky, you must fit EVERYTHING! I can't fit ANYTHING!" Then I'll tell them that not everything fits me but they'll completely disregard that.

>>9287284
I get where you're coming from. This thread has made me feel bad because I joked around with someone for being able to wear MM. I'm gonna apologize to her next time I see her, believe me.

But at the same time, before I got into the fashion - I would come across normies of all shapes and sizes, male and female who would complain about not being able to fit in things properly or how they couldn't find clothing in their size in a department store. It's kind of too common for me to give a shit? Like anyone I've run into will complain about sizing as soon as you bring up clothing. It's kind of ridiculous and I know most people don't know how to properly get their measurements, but there are a lot of lolitas who fail at it too. We consistently see photographic evidence.

I don't know. I'm gonna apologize to that girl but now I'm just skeptical of everyone.

>>9287291
Thats because bodies are not cookie cutters. You can wear the same size ass someone but have a different shape.

Also shopping for everyone sucks! The style you want will always be available in all the sizes but yours. Thats life.

>>9287307
Sound like everyone can just complain equally yet people on either side of the spectrum will get asspained.

Another 'wow you're so skinny, you fit into brand how lucky' here. Member of my comm constantly would do this every meet, also telling me to 'jokingly' shut up when we talk about height causing an issue with brand, I'm skinny I have no say apparently. Last time she started about HOW LUCKY I just looked her dead in the eye, big smile and said, yeah I know it's great isn't it. The look on her face, priceless.

>>9287382
>Last time she started about HOW LUCKY I just looked her dead in the eye, big smile and said, yeah I know it's great isn't it. The look on her face, priceless.
Ah yes. Kill them with that kindness. Love doing that shit.

>>9287382
>telling you to shut up because you're skinny and have no say
Oh fuck they do that to me too. Apparently I'm not even allowed to talk about preferring skirts over certain jsk cuts because I'm skinny and shouldn't give my opinion. Or food. Can't talk about food, because clearly being skinny I can't possibly appreciate food.
I've started avoiding fatties at meet ups not because I have anything against fat girls, but because I'm sick of being told to shut up because I'm not fat. Fun fact is I used to be chubby but lost the weight. Something tells me they'll hate me even more if I bring that up.

A lolita in my state was offering people her prescribed valium at a con recently. she's already notorious for being shitty and is already banned from the comm, but somehow seems gets even more unreal every time I hear about her. So tempted to post about her but it'd just be beating a dead rotten horse at this point.

>>9288023
yet you are here posting about her

>>9288031
I mean actually posting her name, or putting her on BtB or something. I'm not outing her by posting vaguely about her about her on an anonymous forum.

>>9286729
and what does being white have to do with it?

>>9288023
What Comm is it? Call it out.

>>9288023
You sound like an annoying fucking narc. It's not like she was passing out oxies or selling meth.

>>9288023

Call her doctor's office and provide proof of her giving her drugs. And even if you don't have proof it will add to the evidence that's probably been piling up about her abusing or misusing her drugs. You can bet she'll lose her scheduled drug contract at that point.

>>9286721
"And not get mocked"

Okay

>>9286773
Your comm admin sounds like a decent person, at least.

>>9287188
This is sound advice.

>>9288042
She's responding to someone who was talking about the fatties in her comm making disparaging remarks about how she had a flatter chest than asians, so it seems relevant to me

>>9288326
Id be really happy to have a free Valium right about now

>>9288326
Still, a lolita passing out drugs at a family convention isn't too classy.

>>9288385
definitely not classy but at the end of the day who really cares? It's not even interesting drama

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>>9288326

>>9288023
Do you know why she was doing that?

>>9286514
It's pretty cool they made their own blouse. Did it look any good?

>>9288023
Redistributing prescription drugs without a license to do so is extremely illegal. If you don't like her then turn her in.

>>9288683
It actually did, I wouldn't have known it was handmade if she hadn't said it

>>9287125
>>9287239
I'm the person who ended up there alone, I was covering for her as host because she got sick last minute and we're good friends. It was supposed to be a pretty casual meet at a cafe so it wasn't anything huge to switch out hosts, I'm just pissed that nobody but her and one other person said anything until I had been there alone for over a half hour. Our only in-state mod was one of the people who stood me up, and didn't say anything until after I had already been there an hour, went home, and relaxed for a while. No apology at all from mod-chan, but everyone else seems to feel bad about it after the fact. Hopefully it's the wakeup call they needed to actually come when they say they will.

Host-chan was really cool and made a post backing me up on how incredibly rude it was to do that to me.

>>9286541
Could you give examples what they are doing?

>>9288800
You should have complimented her and replied you're so jealous of her sewing skills every time she brought up your figure.

>>9286541
yeah, some of the girls in my comm are so loud and fucking obnoxious in public. It is so embarrassing.

>>9288829
You deserve so much better in this life alone-chan.

>>9288876
Don't just say you're jealous, say she's lucky for being able to sew at all and has no idea how hard life is for those of us not privileged enough to be good at sewing. See how she likes that.

>>9288843
Being overly loud at public meetups, screaming, talking loudly about inappropriate topics (sometimes there are children around), being rude to the general public when they ask about what we're wearing, etc

>>9288949
>tfw same
And then when you ask them to pipe down it's
>LOLITAS AREN'T ALL SUPPOSED TO BE LOVLIES ANON UGHH LOL
no but you can at least not scream about dildo's or ghey anime secks to people who don't want to hear about it

>>9287184
As a male i think you're just nagging for the sake of it, it's just a compliment, get over urself.

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>>9288967
>as a male
lmao

>>9288967
>I don't know what I'm talking about but at least I have a dick!

>>9288967
... How does you being male have anything to do with the conversation? Do you think it makes your opinion more valid on this topic somehow? All it does is establish you most likely have no insight at all into what we're talking about.

>>9288967
>>9288974
>>9288978
>>9288987
laughing my ass off at this whole exchange its like im on the polar opposite of /v/

>>9287464

>"you're not X, you don't get to talk about Y"

the worst fucking thing to come out of the last decade of internet bullshit

>>9288023
I wouldn't do a public call out, but you should tell con staff about her.

>>9288326
Valium can be extremely dangerous when used recreationally. Many people have died from it.

>>9288994
Does /v/ often get people saying WELL AS A WOMAN...? To be honest it's obnoxious no matter who does it.

>>9288967
dick or gtfo

>>9289004
no pls no dicks
just gtfo

>>9289002
Yeah they do, but /v/ also can go way over the top with it. Like, even when it's totally related to the conversation or there's no way to comment without it coming up. I've seen them do it when OP asks shit like "who was your vidya inspiration growing up?" and someone replies with Laura Croft. It's not like here where we only do it when there's no legit reason to bring it up and you're just being a faggot.

>>9289014
That sounds like most of 4chan when it comes to women. God forbid someone finds out you're not a heterosexual male because half the thread will be frothing at the mouth at the thought of cooties.
/cgl/ doesn't give a fuck what's between your legs as long as you don't use it as a way to make yourself seem more important. That's part of why I like this place.
>kawaii or gtfo

>>9284636
What comm is this OP? They're all really cute

>>9289002
I agree, it's always obnoxious attentionwhoring no matter who does it.

>>9288829
Ok I take it back, since you guys made sure to let people know that another person will be hosting. Fuck those flake-chans. Just do the casual meets with close friends from now on, but if you guys want to host a decent meet you should do it somewhere that requires reservations and a deposit. That way most people who pay will actually show, and if not, well, no backsies on the deposit. I feel bad for you if you are in a very small and cheap comm though.


I've been to and hosted meets whre only one or two girls showed up and desu it ended up being fun and we ended up being better friends.

>>9284819
I don't see anything weird or rude about it. I've seen comms hold "princess" or "fairytale" themed meets before and mostly everyone can create a coord for easy themes like these. I don't think anyone really expects people to show up all in the same prints and whatnot.

>tfw dying of a cold and look awful but going to a meet anyway because I paid for the ticket

>>9291051
A bad idea all around, you'll make your condition worse and might make your comm members sick. Do you have one of those face masks to wear, at least?

>>9284714
Wtf is a transtrucker

>>9291063
I wish I did. Just planning to keep to the end of the table or exchange my gifts, get a big to-go box of the catered food and return home to sniffle under a blanket with broth and treats.

>>9291067
Just go to the store and grab some face masks! For the sake of your members! Also get yourself some disinfecting lotion to use on your hands before toughing any gifts

>>9291071
I have hand sanitizer at least!

our comm's holiday party is this weekend at a house and we all have to bring our own chair

>maybe you shouldn't host comm-wide parties if we can't all sit down for a gift exchange

>>9291097
>traveling in lolita
>carrying a chair
No way this could possibly go wrong.

>>9291097
People voted for who would host it, didn't they? But I agree she should at least borrow from the other host or family a bit ahead of time. Please report back if people actually show up with chairs.

>>9291098
>three lolitas carpooling since its far away as shit
>somehow expected to bring three or more chairs

>>9288997
>the Internet invented hypocrisy
this just in

>>9291097
if this is the AZ comm I'm glad I didn't rsvp. If you can't provide the means for the meet then don't host it. I'm doing a meet with a friend since they where told there where no more chairs left.

>>9291051
I think your in my comm and you didn't seem that badly sick. Thanks for being considerate all the same. I noticed that.

>>9291237
I was exaggerating a bit but yeah. I was going to the bathroom every few minutes to blow my nose so I wouldn't do it at the table kek

>comm members complaining about having only one meet per month
>anyone is able to host an event yet no one besides the mod steps up
>I'll be hosting a second meet tomorrow and planned it a month in advance
>meet is a small potluck and free to attend
>people posting they cant go due to work, no money, etc
I tried. I'm just tired of my comm complaining about meets yet not attending the few we do have.

>>9288999
People die from taking multiple valiums recreationally, not one to calm down.

>>9291258
Welcome to the life of having smaller comms.

>>9291258
>>9291262
That small comm life. Especially when there's only 1-2 girls hosting meetups and one of them gets a major life issue and can't host. We had that this year, plus I've had a major life issue and can't host either.

Or you move to a new small comm and there's no meets so you won't to host but nobody will attend when they don't know who the fuck you are but they can't get to know you because there's no meets.

>>9291280
What the fuck does that have to do with being white??

>>9290019

Not OP, but it looks like Paris judging from the buildings and the blue building placards

>>9291284
>>9291280

Found the racist asian.

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>>9291284
You sound like you have a very narrow and sheltered view of the world. Like, you've been to two houses where white people live and assume it's a cultural norm.

>>9291098
>wearing burando outside of a meet for the first time
>pick up a chair so I can sit down somewhere
>putting it down a sharp part underneath catches and drags a big thread out of my dress
It took me hours to fix and it's still not fully repaired. Never picking up chairs again.

Make your chair the most kawaii chair ever. Use it like an accessory like scepters are.

>>9291280
>siting

>>9291097
In the past the exchange was mostly done at a business. So seating wasn't always an issue. But the meets that happened at homes usually had enough seating for the people attending. Since this meeting had a cutoff date to say if you where going then the host should have gotten the seating figured out herself. She's known for about two weeks how many people where going. Yet doesn't factor in seating? People can stand. I have party seating at my home for when I host Christmas dinner. I didn't rsvp so I decided to work and actually make money for my Brando.

>>9290019
OP here, I don't know what comm it is cause I just saved it from a candid photography thread we had.

>>9291290
This. I have white friends who sit on the floor and don't wear shoes in their house? Not everyone is the same.

>>9291097
Why did any one let those itas host in the first place?

>>9291097
I wanted to host this meetup when H first said she couldn't, but S jumped in before I got the date cleared with my hubby.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed it would be fine because she was so enthusiastic.

Now I'm super salty that this meet has turned into this much of a train wreck and it hasn't even started.
>tfw you live in a huge house
>tfw you have plenty of room to seat 20+ people
>tfw you have cute af christmas decorations
>tfw newbie ita wrecks what could have been an amazingly fun meetup

>>9291264
Eh, I'd do the "here's what I wore today" self-post in the comm if you're new and there's barely any meets. You'd show that you know what you're doing and maybe get some friend invites? Or say that you're going to a cafe/mall on Saturday if anyone wants to meet up? idk glad that my comm is less flaky than others

>>9287180
>>9287184
>>9288967
>>9288974
>>9288978
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hmlPtRu1SQ

This is truer to life than I thought.

>>9291390
We can't say it's going to go badly or not so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and wait to see if it's going to be as bad as it's falling apart.

>>9291390
there were like three people that wanted to host but she just claimed it. can't even seat everyone at her parents house, no way am I going to that shit

>>9291390
If you never set a date with the comm then it was never your meet. Cry harder anon

>>9291432
I didn't know about it till after it was closed so I spent the money I was going to use for the exchange on myself.

>>9291443
Anon never said it was their meet. Why are you so salty? S? Sorry your meet is already going down the shitter.

>>9291432
>be out of town
>struggling to get all our shit together for this meetup
>can you bring chairs
>uh
>no
>we're carpooling
>unless you want camping chairs
>I'm not bringing camping chairs

So I'm just wondering if we're going to be standing the whole time because we couldn't bring our own chairs

>>9291302
kawaii coleman camping collapsable chairs

wish I'd seen this before it was happening, now I'm conflicted, coming in from out of town is a huge effort and I'm still working that night

I'm so glad our secret santa exchange is in a nice café.

>>9291443
Shouldn't you be sleeping S? You have a meet to set up this afternoon.

>>9291482
I would bring one of those collapsible stools you can get at Walmart. I have a stash of like 5 of them in my laundry room.

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>Bring your own chairs
Whoever goes to this, please take a ton of photos of this likely shittaculous house. Because you know if they don't even have a nice dining table with multiple seats, it -is- going to be a place unfit for lolitas. I bet other family members are going to be lounging around in the next room over, watching tv.

>>9291493
at least you have cafe's

>>9291498
I'm sure it won't be that bad. From what I gathered, other girls who could accommodate wanted to host at their house, but S really wanted to do it at hers, so that's what happened.

>>9291109
Different anon but like >>9291496 said, it's absurd people from other towns, sounds like multiple lolitas, should be bringing chairs to their meet.

>>9291498
Don't forget it's likely there isn't going to be room for parking either by the sound of it

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>>9291500
'Parent's house' and 'bring your own chairs' is already two ingredients too many in a recipe for disaster. I'm not even in your comm, but I want to see this trainwreck. You should ask her to post pics of the decorations so far so we could get a glimpse into it.

>>9291482
now you have me thinking about buying a damaged dress and using the iron on binding stuff to cover my tiny camping chair I take to cons

>>9291507
The use of replica fabric. Make a holy lantern chair to go with your holy lantern so you can holy lantern while you sit in holy lantern

>fails at this meme

>>9288967
>thinking your man-opinion matters

>>9291482
camping chairs are probably the only thing most people have and they're really dirty anyways...??
>brings three dining room table chairs

>>9291502
>multiple

>host asked for 13 chairs to be brought

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>>9291505
I got you anon. She already posted these on the event page

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>>9291623

>>9291507
this sounds adorable! be sure to post!

>>9291499
Where are you that there aren't any cafe's?

>>9291676
Middle of the desert.

There's a bit too many girls that are active in my comm this year, and I'd feel bad if I only brought the ones I know gifts. Does anyone have any cost efficient ideas for stocking suffers? I was thinking a cute roll of washi tape and some Japanese candy?

>>9291623
>>9291624
Hard to see most of the background but it looks like the living room is in full view of the table and the walls are tight. 10 bucks says it's gonna be cramped and there will be some fat aunt on the couch staring at you the whole time while she watches Hawaii Five-O

There's this new girl in the comm and she is really weird
>somehow got the "famous girls" to like her/protect her
Exemple:
>friend of mine has a dress reserved for her,this girl chimes in saying she wants it, friend says "lol hey i had it first!" and one of the famous girls goes full "omg u so meen and she is too nice to defend herself poor baby :(("
>she only knows the fashion since a few months and has already bought quite a bit of brand dresses, nearly nothing but dresses
>Ask me to lend her my petticoat but i have no time to meet her because work nor do i want to. She gets butthurt and answers with a -_- emoticon
>despite having almost 0 knowledge she actually has really nice dresses that she either coordinate weirdly. Not really ita surprisingly
>the way she talks is also strange sometimes
>always seem "far away" in her head if you get what i mean
>never ever posts pics of herself but only Kylie and Kendall Jenner and similar things
>try to invite her at my little meeting to get to know her better
>she kept laughing loudly at my jokes the whole time while everyone was silent
>everyone is ok to see the movir we decided on in VO with subtitles
>except her because she cant read fast enough and we have to accomodate ourselves and to watch the movie in our with a meh dub
>later learn by a friend she has a crush on me
Why me

>>9291879
that she coordinates weirdly*
our language*
i messed up there it's 1am and i'm tired

>>9291810
Not sure if you bake, but some homemade treats would be really cute and cheap. But make sure no one has any dietary restrictions like nut allergies.
If you can't bake, washi tape sounds like a really cute gift. Maybe you can alternate between tape and cheap but cute stationary?

>>9291498
Any updates from the scene?

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>at large meet at public event
>Woman comes up
>Starts filming us on her phone
>Walking around the group filming
>Coming into our gaggle to take pictures of us closer
>Never says a word
>Walks away
>She's still filming just at a distance
We weren't even doing anything other than taking to each other. I'm fine with a picture but at least ask and don't follow people around to film them

>>9287136
There's a really good chance that was me. Glad to help out a comm member! Thank you for being polite and not one of the many cheap idiots that tried to lowball me even further on the other lucky pack dress I didn't keep. Hope to see you at a future meetup!

>>9291258
I'm in a relatively small comm too. Only 2-3 people host meetups at all, and one of them is out of town half the year. My comm members are just too lazy. :I

Too bad lots of people came to the Christmas meetup. Have fun being salty this holiday season, anons. :')
> inb4 gtfo S
Not her.

>>9291985
Ok G!

>>9291952
This happens at my comm's public meets a lot too, I don't get what's so difficult about asking for permission first.

>>9291985
Kek
I was at the meetup and it was shit

>>9291985
Agreed! It wasn't but extravagant, but everyone (with the exception of the shin-chan plushie) brought nice gifts.

Someone in my comm just posted the infamous Hello Kitty dress in a "What are you planning on wearing for the meet tomorrow" thread and I gasped out loud.

>>9291985
Everybody looked like a fucking ita

>>9292125
You are blind as hell.

>>9292107
>>9292125
provide proof otherwise this is just typical "cgl talks out of its ass for the millionth time"

>>9292128
Check out the cover photo. All but maybe two people look well put together and of course they were shoved to the back

>>9292128
Anon don't kid yourself. If you honestly don't think there were mostly itas then you probably are one.

>>9292138
>>9292147
Fair enough. I honestly have never looked at their comm until now because I don't live anywhere near there. The only stuff I know about them is what I read here because I guess a lot of them are on here as well as a lot TX people.

That cover photo has a mash up of good and bad.. and I feel like that's what I see in most comms, especially mid western ones?

They aren't even bad coords so much as it's just unfortunate faced people wearing them. But there are some straight up itas for sure.

Also.. maybe I'm not looking at the right cover photo but the other AZ comm didn't have pictures of people so I feel like I'm looking at the right one?
Anyway.. all the hambeasts are shoved to the back in the one I'm seeing.

>>9291952
Do you ever feel like we are just like an exhibit at a zoo to normies.

>>9292163
Yeah that's the right one. While I believe we have a fairly normal itas to good or well dressed member ratio I was pretty disappointed in today's turnout. It was pretty bad even for us.

>>9292171
Yeah, I mean, like I said, most comms have that ratio. Some are more lopsided than others obviously, but I think most higher numbered comms sometimes have meets where nothing but the itas show up. It does happen.

I still think some people in the thread either, weren't actually there or just want to talk out of their ass.

>>9292138
Can somebody post the picture for us anons that live on the other side of the planet?

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>>9292195

>>9292230
The only thing really bugging me about them is that there are sooo many girls without any kind of headwear. Like damn.

>>9292230
giant fucking gold ram horns

>>9292279
There is a girl in the back who has a fucking unicorn horn in between her hair buns, and it's not on the wall, because there is a reflection of it in the window...

>>9292235
My attitude toward this was basically it's a home meet up, I'm not going all out with the coord, I wonder if people thought the same thing. It's the first time I've not worn a wig in lolita ever. I was suprised at the lack of headwear, but glad I wasn't alone. Too bad the one time I half assed my hair/makeup was the day cgl judged our group photo oop.

>>9292111
Whoever brought shin-chan and the weird robot bullshit plush was an asshole. I felt so bad. I loved that pretty much no one brought tea.

tl;dr there was no problem with seating, there was enough chairs, the house was enormous and I was jelly, decorations were cute, everyone looked nice and the gift exchange was nice. I loved how many indie christmas dresses were worn.

>>9292107
>>9292125
you sound really bootyblasted

>>9292279
her coord was krampus themed, I thought it was clever. There were a lot of little details.

>>9292281 I have no idea what the unicorn horn was about, but it was coorded cleanly/tastefully, so idgaf.

>>9292291
That's the photo op outside the house?! Was it changed to the cover photo recently?

Also what the fuck is wrong with Shin Chan?

>I loved that pretty much no one brought tea.
that's sarcasm right?

>everyone looked nice
If that photo is the one from the meet, that's a bit of an exaggeration my dude. Like, I'm willing to not be biased, but there are definitely some itas in that photo. Most is probably the word you want to use there.

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>>9292294
Don't bother defending shit like that here. cgl loves to claim it's not a hivemind but like 90% of this board HATES horns in lolita.

I'm okay with the big ram horns. That unicorn horn is poorly placed with that hairstyle however.

>>9292296
Someone brought a shin-chan plushie that no one wanted, and it was a garbage gift imo, everyone else got stuff like kawaii makeup/jewelry/accessories/small brand items
and then there was this awful crane machine shinchan.

At last years gift exchange it was 80% tea and or/tea cups which was excessive

as for looking nice, I didn't say outstanding, I think this was just a comfortable home meet for everyone, this wasn't our comm bringing our A-game. I know I sure wasn't, and I'm fine with that.

>>9292306
>then there was this awful crane machine shinchan
Oh I see. No, that makes more sense.

Also, did you guys drink tea?

Comfy meets are fine, I get where you're coming from.

>>9292308
We opted in for a homemade punch and sparkling cider instead, I didn't see tea.

>unpopular opinion
>I'm sick of tea anyway
>we had it two weeks ago at ILD

>>9292312
Cider sounds good, especially for a holiday meet.

>>9292112
I saw it too and had the same reaction.

>>9291991
Because then it won't be ~candid~!

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>>9292230

>>9291772
My condolences, Pajeet. May your dunes be kawaii.

>>9291985
Lolololololololol cute. But it wasn't that great anon. It had it moments when it was fun. But defiantly not a meet I would be proud of. It felt more of a "let's hang out" meet over a planned and thought out meet. Probably why people didn't bring their game when planning outfits.

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Melbourne pls stop

>>9286896
Also fatty-chan here, I also don't really get why many fatties are so self centric in this manner. It's like they can't even see that bodies are different no matter where they fall on the BMI spectrum so anyone can have fit problems.

Whenever fit comes up in conversation at a meet I normally say "cause fat" in the same way some one would be like: "cause shoulders", "cause boobs" or "cause no boobs". I hope others don't think I am trying to get the "oh no no anon your perf." reaction when in reality it is just.
>I own a mirror
>I use it
>I am fat
>I am fine with this

One of my comm members is a lovely, sweet girl who never seems to have anything negative to say, but she plans meets on sundays, and the only PT to her place comes once every two hours and is about an hour trip. It's just really shitty for me and for a couple of other people I know don't drive.

I don't live in a wonderful area for most meets, but if I could get there by PT that wouldn't take over an hour, I'd love it. The fact that I don't live in a great area, being said, means that I have to get changed at the location (I don't want to be spat on, or sit my skirt in piss) and sometimes public locations aren't exactly ideal for poof.

That being said, I had a great ILD, a wonderful secret santa, I think my giftee liked their gift, and I loved my gift because it was something I'd wanted for a while. My comm is, overall, really nice.

>>9292455
To think people used to praise Melbourne as being one of the best dressed comms. What happened?

>>9292460
Most people do this and don't care. It's the new to the style girls who think that brand wearing lolitas will look down on you for not wearing brand. They just don't know that no one cares what brand you're wearing as long as it fits you. Hell even replicas are only hated on the internet and not in person. But if you're thinking brand won't fit because fat, then you obviously haven't been in the fashion long to know that fully elasticated brand exists. Meta, baby and AP have quite a bit of clothes that can fit a literal whale.

My personal issue is always shoulders, but that doesn't stop me from getting brand. I just buy the items with adjustable straps. Broad shoulders don't have to be a curse.

>>9292455
I'm counting at least two cosplays, not to mention the fucking furry. Gross.

>>9292460
I wish more people were like this to be honest. I'm sick of talking about fit and either having people tell me that ohh noooo my shoulders don't look wide at allll when I know perfectly well they're too wide for most blouses and OPs, or alternatively being told to shut up by insecure fat girls because I can fit things they might not, and therefore I'm not allowed to even mention fit issues. Whereas if I told a pear-shaped fat girl who can't wear brand tights or unshirred skirts but CAN wear most OPs to stfu because she'll never feel my pain, people would shit all over me.

Most conversations about fit just turn into "boohoo I'm fat" "oh no hun ur perf the way u r" circlejerks, so I've started avoiding them too. Even though it would be great to commiserate with other wide-shouldered orangutans and get advice.

>>9292494
>even replicas are only hated on the internet and not in person
Speak for yourself yo. Nobody's going to call the police on you at a meetup but my comm 100% talks shit about repeat replica wearers and makes it a point to guide newbies away from them.
Fully elasticated dresses also tend to make anyone who isn't skinny and flat look like a stuffed sausage, so I don't blame fatty-chans for not being into that look.

>>9292455
i can't imagine anyone well dressed going to something like this, not in australia at least.

>>9292494
I never mentioned I didn't wear brand or anything, my closet is around 75% brand. Just that I don't see why fatties think that just "cause fat" they were literally the only ones on earth with fitting problems, and everyone else "just couldn't possibly understand".
The thing I hate most is when a new release is announced and we are all talking about it at a meet and other fatties will start blubbering about "oooohhhhh but I love it soooo much, but abloo blooooooooo ffffaaaaaaatttttttttttt, can't get it, when will brando learn a bloo bloo blooooo!!!". Way to kill a fun/ good/ exciting conversation we were all enjoying, thanks a bunch whale-chan. It is seriously not the end of the world, there will be yet another release next month.. then the month after... etc. some will fit, some wont, get over it! Pretty much everyone deals with this!

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>ILD meet
>Girl comes wearing wrinkled Harry Potter lolita cosplay

>>9291879
she sounds autistic tbqh famalama

>>9292503
This is what I mean by not hating on you in person. Yeah everyone doesn't like them but they won't come after you with daggers in their hands because you're wearing a replica. They won't be "oh you're wearing a replica, I don't want to be near you or associated with you". They often point out that there's alternatives to getting the similar items and or how they can budget themselves to get the real thing. The salty "fuck you for replica" attitudes is seriously only on the Internet. People are far more mature and civil in person even though they are going to post you and talk shit about you here when they get home.

>>9292532
Ughh I hate when they do that. My usual response is " if I don't fit it I'll use it as incentive to work harder on my diet and gym time. It's rewarding in two ways". It's how I politely say " you can fit it if you stopped eating through a dive through window and got off your ass"

>>9292503
Brands don't really make dresses with shirring all the way around anymore so I'm assuming >>9292494
is talking about full back shirring. Some of AP's pieces with full back shirring go up to 120cm in the bust.

>entire comm obsessed with Yaoi on Ice
>tfw most wouldn't give the show a second thought if any of the main MCs was female

Way to go, "feminists," elevating the dick as usual. Can't wait to see what's the next vagina-free fandom you'll collectively splooge over.

>>9292649
you sound like a cringy tumblr feminist that makes and excuse out of nothing to fit your cringy tumblr feminist agenda.

>>9291624
do you live in Arkansas or something? where is this acceptable for a meetup? my poorfag parents have better furniture

>>9292661
>reading comprehension

>>9292630


Sorry, I just wanted to step in and correct something.

Ap dresses with full back shirring are written as having 120cm bust because they lack a zipper. The extra width is needed so that girls can comfortably pull them over their heads. The waist measurement will be smaller than 120cm, and since there's no zipper, the fatty-chan is going to have to wiggle their (probably) 40+cm shoulder, ham-sized biceps and 120cm bust past like, a ~109cm dress waist without bursting the seams. Somehow I don't think this happens easily.

At best, I'd estimate the dresses can fit someone around the 100+ cm mark in the bust, and even then it'll probably sit funny. So I'd be wary of recommending them to hamplanets bigger than that, at least.

On another point, when anon mentioned fully shirred brands I thought of Enchantlic Enchantilly and Triple Fortune. They do actually look all right on larger girls, or at least not as bad as squeezing themselves into something smaller.

>>9292661
I'll spoon feed you since you can't read. It's Arizona.

>>9292649
desu i would watch a lesbian ice skating drama and love it calm your tits anon

>>9292649
as if personal ethics/values are necessary points when discussing a feel good show you cunt

people in comms bond over anime and games easier than muh politics!!! muh feminism!!! stop being bitter

>>9291430
>Because you've met all of them to make such a statement like that

>>9292532
>when will brando learn
This ruffles my jimmies something fierce. No matter how often and how slowly you try to explain why offering multiple/larger sizes in custom printed fabric is a huge financial gamble for indie brands (which lolita brands are in the grand scheme of things) that more than likely will not pay off, and you can't blame them for not catering to a handful of foreign customers any more than they already do. Yet even then they'll cry that they're entitled to 4L burando because feeeeeelings!!

>>9292593
I am so sick of HP themed lolita costumes. For Halloween? Fine. To see the new movie? Whatever. To a random meetup? Fuck off, unless other fandom 'coords' are acceptable as regular meet wear too nowadays.
>brb putting together Pokémon Moon coord for the Christmas meet

>>9292412
There's no such thing as candid filming.

>>9292649
>not enjoying the beautifully animated routines and feel good vibe
Why do you hate people being happy?

>>9292649
cry harder anon

>>9292593
I think I'm in your comm.
As someone who grew up in a religious and insane family, I didn't read HP growing up. I don't care much for the books, and I think it's kind of worn to do hp everything.

>>9292649
>good music, canon LGBT couple not treated as entertainment /mentertainment, cute story, has done nothing wrong, has more named female characters than other sports anime, doesn't make LGBT relationship the main reason to watch

anon let some happiness into your life.

>>9292649

So can you give us a reason why we can't enjoy both? Because I enjoyed the hell out of Maria-sama ga miteru too.

>>9292685
But most the time they are a lot cuter than other fandoms as there are a lot of magical themed prints that can be used.Yeah?

>>9291952
If it bothered you it's your fault for not saying anything. When she's up close taking pictures do you not have the wristcuffs to say "Excuse me, You don't have our permission to photograph, some of us might be minors you creep, please delete them or I'm calling the cops."

>>9292734
Honestly I initially thought she had asked someone else and I hadn't heard, or was with someone the comm, but then after she walked away other girls commented an how creepy it was.

>>9292668
Explains a lot.

>>9292455
>>9292482
It doesn't look like there are that many people from the actual lolita comm there.

>>9292630
actually baby and AatP released some full shirring items this year. ribbon milky, shirring princess re-released, shirring babydoll. Ophelia's banquet and angels feather.

meta had some too. fantasy parade and candy bottle all had fully shirred options. not to mention most of their skirts are fully shirred.

So no brands are still making plenty fully shirred items.

>>9292649
It's a straight girl thing. Even when there are female characters in the big trending fandom, everyone's focus is on the male characters.

I'm thinking about the comm-wide fandom trends that have dominated discussions and (everything from Star Wars: The Force Awakens to Mystic Messenger) and I can't think of a single popular ship that involved a female character. All the dudes get the best memes, too.

Women as whole tend to find male characters more interesting in the same way men tend to focus on female characters. As long as they're not sharing NSFW fanart or gushing cringily about buttsex during meets it's a harmless trend.

>>9292649
I feel you so hard anon. Not only in my Lolita comm but all of my cosplay friends too. The sheer amount of responses you got complaining about it kind of proves your point. All the Yuri on Ice fags are so annoying about it because they never stop talking about it. Fuck your "feel good" shit, REEEEEE.

>>9292649
Straight girls like anime with a lot of boys for the same reason straight guys like anime with a lot of girls. It's got nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with what they prefer to fap to.

That being said, love live was pretty popular with girls too. As was kill la kill and madoka magica when those came out. Maybe not as popular as the fujo bait animes, but plenty popular none the less.

>>9292850

I think the issue is that a lot of 'lots of girls' anime is weirdly catered to boys. If it isn't I have a lot less issue with reading/watching it. If it's all boobs and shit I'm just not very attracted to that?

Sorry I keep harping on Maria Sama ga miteru but it's probably one of the few all girl animes I really got into because it seemed more in touch with what my older teenage/transitioning into young adult self wanted out of a romantic relationship. And while the character roles were still very stereotyped they did represent real feelings I had in HS and early on in college. That being said, it's been ages since I was in anime before YOI so maybe things have changed since then.

>>9292850
I cannot name a single anime that includes a lot of girls as MCs that doesn't completely sexualize them. Even shit like Love Live is geared towards single Japanese men. MM is the same as LL but geared towards women (and even then has nothing sexually demeaning shown of the boys).

Sports anime, that bitchy people like you enjoy shitting on because it's "what all the straight women are obsessed with," or because you just don't enjoy stuff, doesn't sexualize men in the same demeaning way that all- or mostly-girl media does. It has nothing to do with the fact that "girls prefer watching men over girls" or "girls who like the popular stuff are interanally sexist".

And even then, you're generalizing all people who watch YOI as straight. This isn't DMMD, it's not yaoi. Most of the people who like it (or started to after the couple was shown to be serious/not for entertainment) are LGBT people.

>sorry you have shit taste in anime

>>9292230
I'm still waiting for the ILD photos. They hired a photographer and then not a peep about it for two weeks. Anyone know what's up?

>>9292860
it's also extremely popular with actual figure skaters!

back on topic please ladies

>>9292861
I wouldn't describe it as "everyone looked great" as that one anon said, but i also wouldn't say it's a comm of itas, either. everyone looked great at ILD two weeks ago, which is more what matters. this was a more casual meet. a large chunk of girls there haven't gone to meets all year or were guests.

>>9292872
fuck, meant to reply to >>9292230
>i'll see myself out

>>9292871
where is the line between "talking about things your comm talks about" and "going off topic"? probably once you stop talking about the subject as it relates to comms and start generalizing or defending/attacking the subject and not "the subject as it relates to comms."

that said, would it be in poor taste to poll my comm about what their non-anime, non-videi game interests are? another thread mentioned the London comm had a book club and it could be cool to have meets that are about other aspects of art and culture. mine has gone to museums and movies but there's not a lot of discussion that can happen there.

>>9292876
>videi
*video

>>9292875
Lol its OK anon. This just reinforces my question. Everyone looked fantastic at that meet, that should be out cover photo.

>>9292876
I guess because OP's comment was arguing it's anti-feminism rather than anti-egl?

>>9292860
>Sports anime, that bitchy people like you enjoy shitting on
Actually I exclusively watch sports anime at the moment lmao.

I think you're taking what I said as an attack when I'm just pointing out that people are inclined to watch what they're attracted to a lot of the time. What girl who likes boys doesn't want to watch a show with cute boys in it sometimes? And why is that a crime when women do it when men have entire genres of anime catering to their interest in cute girls?

I want to watch cute boys play sports and be adorable. Because I fucking like boys, sue me.

>>9293000
>I fucking like boys, sue me
Disgusting hetero.

>>9293140
this just in, straights aren't the only ones who like boys lol

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>>9293154
What was this conversation about again? I thought it was
>a bunch of girls want to watch gay boi animu likek guys want to watch lesbo girl animu

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A brolita recently joined my comm, and while I'm never usually bothered about guys who have a genuine interest in the fashion, this one guy is sending off so many red flags.

He's RSVP'd as maybe to our next meet, and I'm really hoping for everyone's sake he doesn't show up. A lot of the people on his friends list are sissies and fetishists. I want to say something, but with society as it is now, I don't want to offend anyone or come across the wrong way. Gulls, help.

>>9293185
Tell a mod that you're uncomfortable with his behaviour very potentially bringing attention from fetishists directly to the group. Or tell him directly.

>>9293185
What the hell is he wearing?

>>9293185
I can definitely understand why you might be afraid of that. You have to be careful in your wording in that way - don't make it sound like you're uncomfortable because he's a man in women's clothing and therefore that means he might be a weirdo. You do have a legitimate concern so you have to make sure you play on that - if you talk to moderator, stress that you are worried about the safety of people in the group. And try not to focus on *him* per se if he hasn't done anything questionable yet, but say that you noticed the other people he is friends with. Like the other anon said, perhaps
frame it more towards you being concerned about him bringing negative attention to the comm through the people he's friends with. How well do you know the mods? Do you think they are the people who will misconstrue your concerns, or will take them into consideration? That will also affect how you frame your worries to them.

>>9293185
Seeing that photo made me sick. And I'm a brolita.

>>9293185
Let the mods in your comm know that you're concerned more about his behavior and the company he keeps online. Send that picture as proof. I wouldn't want any creepo's like that at my comm's meets.

>>9292823
>So no brands are still making plenty fully shirred items.
Now you're just being condescending. I'm sure the people who need fully shirred brand are thrilled they have 10 whole options to choose from. AP releases more dresses than that in a single season.

>>9293223
>>9292823


Not that anon, but I read it as a simple correction, ie -- "here are some releases you may not remember".

On another note, for the fatties in the thread, I'm going to advise caution going with btssb/aatp full shirred items, especially if any of the shirring crosses mid-chest. Btssb/aatp are generally made for smaller people, their full shirred items are often the ones that look bad on everybody.

Meta is generally good, though.

>>9293235
Adding to what this anon said and saying that BTSSB/AAtP often lie about how large their measurements really are, so unless you're 5 or more inches under the max measurements I'd suggest passing on them.

>>9292668
Her parents house was nicer than anything I'm ever going to own desu, that was a picture of her dining room table that could seat probably 14. I never found the bathroom.

I just want a house.

>>9293243

Whoa, 5 inches is a bit much. 5 cm?

I don't think they particularly lie, it's more so they don't disclose things like shoulder-to-bust measurement or torso height, so most girls with longer torsos end up cramming their boobs into what is actually the underbust area and then thinking the dress is too narrow when it's actually made for someone with a shorter torso.

>>9293223
People who "need" fully shirred brand should consider losing weight, then.

>>9293235
I've had the exact opposite experience. I'm not particularly fat, but I've found that Baby shirring stretches much nicer than Meta on recent releases.

>>9292861
I'm starting to think 90% of lolita events are just cursed when it comes to official photographers.
>first ottea took forever to get photos
>went to butler cafe LAST November and never saw those photos
>2nd ottea in september and we only got the group pic so far
I have to stop getting my hopes up when I see event photographers.

>>9292630
backshirring only safely goes up to a ~110cm bust (114-115 is rare but exists), with very few exceptions (WQ being one of them).

>>9292667
that was generously peppered with hate anon and cringey to read.
anyway, you're giving incorrect info.
if what you were describing was true, the waist wouldn't have enough give for girls to comfortably pull the dress over.
>reminder: the waist comes before the bust in over-the-head dressing
>another reminder: we're talking full back shirring, not partial V-shaped shirring panels.

fully backshirred designs give all the rows of elastic equal stretch. the bust max is always the waist max, and the final row of shirring is always at the dress's waist.
busty lolitas should be wary of high waisted cuts, which is most of what Chantilly puts out.

partial back shirring is usually good up to 100cm, full back shirring mostly goes up to 110cm, and full shirring can go up to 120cm, with some AP and IW going up to 135cm.

>>9293185
your best bet is to wait until he comes to a meet so his behaviour can speak for itself. if he's gross, the mods will see, if he's chill then he may know how to separate his other interests from lolita.

tell them to be warned so they scope him out at meets but it doesn't help you to bar him before even seeing him in person.

>>9293185
Male lolita here. Tell your mods that this guy looks more like a sissy than a brolita. There is a clear distinction and unless the mods are all "don't kinkshame!!11!" or misinformed they should understand that it's the fetischism you're worried about. I have a hard time seeing how reporting this would make you transmisogynist, considering that sissy in itself is based on fetischized transmisogyny.

>>9293384
If this was in my comm, I'd be upset to know that someone knew or even suspected that one of the members was a sissy and didn't say anything until said sissy showed up to a meetup.

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>>9293362

>>9292667 here.
We're talking about full BACK SHIRRED dresses, right (pic related)? not the ones that are fully shirred all the way around.

From AP's site for Melty Cream Donuts:

>Bust: about 90~123cm
>Waist: about 76~109cm

The front of the dress is fixed. That's why the bust will always be bigger than the waist.

Hey, I'm just saying don't go around saying AP's half shirred dresses fit 120cm bust just because the measurements say so. Feel free to wear whatever you want, though, no skin off my nose.

>>9293362
>IW going up to 135
I understand you probably read the measurements that IW puts on their website but they lie fampai

>tfw I have several IW dresses with back shirring
>tfw I thought I was very comfortably under the max bust
>tfw TUBE BODICE
>gdi innocent world

>>9293448
Fujiwara-sama disapproves of your dirty pillows. I've found with IW, especially with skirts, they seem to overstate their max measurements.

>>9293340
I dont get it. Those photographers are paid and they take forever. I've been to some big events that had a bunch of really good unpaid photographers and they got their pics out within a week.

>>9292649
I just can't understand the hype. I like shipping dudes a lot, and it's nice that an anime actually went there. But all the clips I've seen seem so over the top I can't actually take it seriously. I find some non-canon ships in other shows far more believable, and just end up not being able to suspend disbelief that this show isn't just catering at the expense of good writing. It makes me cringe, but all my friends love it, so I keep my mouth shut.

>>9293223
those are just the full shirred dresses released in 2016. And from one two companies. There's plenty more brands that have released fill shirred items just this year alone. It's far more then just ten dresses.

>>9293235
I have several AatP jsks and I am not particularly a small person. This issue isn't an issue at all. You just need to have a good supportive bra to keep these from looking frumpy in the chest. Meta has had more issues in their chest fit then any thing AatP have had on me.

ITT: People not knowing the difference between "fitting" and "looking good".
Especially you friendo >>9293362

>>9293471
>>9293278

Interesting. This has proven contrary to everything I've ever seen from them, a lot of the really bad photos of girls in full shirring were wearing btssb.

Maybe it'll help for the two of you to drop your measurements? For myself, I'm 98cm bust, 72cm waist, 163cm tall (but longer torso). Meta and Enchantlic fit me much better, I've sold off all the fully shirred Baby and stayed away from them since.

>>9292649
Yeah, this is strictly a self-hating female phenomenon, you never see men liking anime that only features hot girls for main characters-oh wait.

>taking the bait

>>9293223
Someone clearly hasn't bothered looking at lolibrary if you think there's so few full shirring options available.

>>9293575
Yes, there are a lot of dresses that have been made with full shirring in the history of lolita fashion. Just because something is on lolibrary, doesn't mean you can go out and buy it. If you go look on a brand website right now, how many are there available to buy? They aren't that common.

>>9293575
That's like telling someone who's looking for a cat dress to look at Cat's Tea Party because it's on lolibrary

>>9293590
>what is buying secondhand

>>9293575
>>9293590
Do you guys talk about fully shirred bodices or full shirring? Idk but I always thought full shirring ment fully shirred back and fully shirred bodice is completely shirred including the front.

>>9293467
youd prob get it if you watched the show but unless you marathon it before wednesday theres almost no point now

>>9292861
did they really hire a photog, though? wasn't it just one of the girls' friends dressed up in lolita and got to attend for free?

>>9292482
I thought that was the Brisbane comm.

>>9293571
I'm a 99cm bust, 75cm waist, 152cm tall (shorter torso). I can see why you have issues because you are a longer torso when the cuts are made for the shorter. That could be why you feel they sit awkward.

>>9293273
Cm. I meant cm. Sage for stupidity.

>>9292649
Anon be honest. Fans are annoying regardless of genre and it's unbearable to have to be around an obsessed fandom you're not apart of.
Don't pin this on YOI or "muh feminism"

>>9293590
there is a glorious thing called second hand sales anon. It's how you can get things that are no longer available on the brand sites and sometimes even come to you unworn still with tags. It's a glorious thing and can even cost less then it did new. You should try it some time once you get that stick out of your ass.

>>9293642
I know that they were specifically looking for a photographer, and would let them attend the event for free, but yes she was there to take photos. I guess I shouldn't be complaining since they only paid a $50 value compared to how much photogs usually get paid for an event, but still I want to see the pretty photos!

>>9292455
Ffs this is why I'm a lone lolita. Please tell me the actual comm isn't this bad.

>>9293448
it's only the fully shirred that can stretch that much.
not trying to be rude but so many people are confused by words on this site, I don't even know.
I own several fully shirred IW, Velveteen Rose Crown being my fav, and those really do go up to as much as they say.

>>9293476
I never advocated for people at the max to wear certain dresses.
it's trial and error to see what is good for your body but people need the chance to try.
shirring is a great friend to me because I am an hourglass shape with a 22 cm diff between bust and waist. shirred cuts are really comfortable and they define my waist, which is super important for big-booby-Judys.


I remember last year's census confirming the majority of CGL is of European descent, but people from different backgrounds develop and have their weight distributed differently. there is quite a bit of difference between western bodies too. we gotta stop making assumptions and shutting people down like a certain body type is universal.

>>9293676

Yeah, should probably have mentioned that in my comment, I ended up typing "smaller people" instead of shorter torsos, which is slightly misleading. My bad.

>>9293832
Full shirred would be all around.

Half shirred would be the back or front only.

Partial shirred will be a section while the rest is not.

How hard is this concept to grasp?

Some people work a full shirred dress while others don't. Boxy people shouldn't wear a full shirred dress and stick with half or partial or a skirt and blouse. Of course they can wear it if they want. But that won't change the fact that it doesn't look right on their body. It also won't change the fact that /CGL/ will not point out how awkward it looks. It's a pack of wolves here. You either join the pack and maybe have some fun while learning. Or you become an target and make a fool of yourself because you're too stubborn to differentiate harsh crit from trolling.

>>9293832

What are your measurements exactly? I mean if you're not 120-135cm wide, maybe you shouldn't speak about how wide dresses can go if you've never actually had to test how wide they can go yourself? I have trouble believing someone can get to 120cm without also having wider shoulders, which is why back shirred dresses don't look good -- the front is fixed, so the shoulder straps angle inwards in a V shape, the armhole shaping also ends up on the front, thus emphasising how wide your shoulders and bust are and how tiny the dress is by comparison. I don't see how this is a good look at all.

It's so easy to say "trial and error", but you're basically telling strangers to drop $100-400 plus shipping on random dresses for "a chance to try", when the rest of us can already tell you they won't fit anyone who's at the max, and won't look good even if you can cram your body into it. At the same time the skinny anons are picking up this info, and the next time they see someone with actual 130cm bust trying to wear a 135cm IW dress, are going to go "ffs, how is this fatty fatter than 135cm, she's bursting at the seams", when we can already tell you right here, before you drop a dime, it's not going to look good.

I mean, I get where you're coming from, but you're not really doing anyone any favours telling them they can all wear dresses intended for much smaller girls, because you're the one that's judging them by your own bodytype. No one's shutting you down, you're the one saying other people were wrong earlier, and now we're saying back, "we still think you're giving wrong information".

>>9293709
semi unrelated, that ILD meet was stupid amounts of overpriced, regret dropping the money intensely. I was under the impression the photographer was a friend with a camera, especially since I feel pics would have gone up already if it was strictly a business arrangement.

>>9293396
Same. We have some young teenagers in my comm so if a creepo joined I'd sure as fuck hope nobody would be like "oh let's wait until he shows up and publicly flashes his diaper boner before making judgements, teehee!"
Wellbeing and safety of the comm >>>> some fetishist's feefees and "rights"

>>9294208
I actually thought it was pretty good. They brought a bunch of food, goodie bags and prices. I believe the majority of the cost came from renting the place out completely which was really nice. Otherwise we would be constantly interrupted by children and normies asking questions.

>>9294408
They rented an overpriced playground and pushed the jungle gyms off to the side and charged us $50. The only seating was wooden benches that I was concerned about snagging my dress on, god knows how many kids have smeared germs across those.

Food and tea ran out, and the goodie bags came out to about $5 worth of useless shit (dollar store pen, dollar store tea light, piece of chocolate, seeds?) and most of it just went to the garbage because I can't keep junk around the house.

Prizes were acceptable, but it was only about $50 worth of raffle gifts that went to 4-5 girls, which is fine but it wasn't worth it to me. I thought Tohono Chul was better, maybe next year it'll be better.

>>9292649
richard if you didnt get a good response on RCU why in hell would you come here

Is there a Comm in New Mexico or on the border of Texas and New Mexico? I just moved and am looking to meet up.

>>9294511
If you are dissatisfied, contribute to the organization and financing of events.

There's some girl in my comm that I've never seen at a meet posting on the facebook group; begging for someone to fix her damaged dress for free. Or, 'goods and services'.

>>9295026
>acting as if we didn't finance this event with our own money
>acting like no one else contributes

Sorry your event was mediocre, maybe next time.

>>9295101
You know; I'm not 100% on the numbers here because it wasn't my event, in spite of the Christmas tradition of whining to the contrary that anyone but the organizers give a damn, but I have rented a venue before.

There's a very good chance the bare minimum paid was $1,000 for the venue. This is an optimistic estimate since this may or may not have included the catering. 20 paid attendees at the ticket price only covers venue for the event, under this assumption. If catering was extra, then the hosts paid anywhere from $250- $500 out of pocket. So odds are good they paid for their own tickets, maybe twice over, and still had to do the organization and labor to set up, contribute the prizes for the raffle and coordinate contest alike, and come up with the entertainment.

Contributing the bare minimum requested is fine, but if you're not happy with it and want more, you're going to have to volenteer more of your time and resources to make these events what you want them to be. Anyone is allowed to host an event. I encourage you to set up what you want the standard to be by example.

>>9288829
It seems pretty crazy to me that your com's mods aren't local! How can they organize things if they aren't even there?