I have an opening in my office and I need to fill it with somebody

>>976282
Talk to the recruitment agency about it.

>doing another mans job

>>976282
you recruits

>>976291
k. How?

Does the linked in pro work? Is facebook viable? There isn't a bullshit job fair of some type next month as it is Decemember. I have asked around with friends and family if they know somebody, but that has had no success.

>>976282
What's the job? Give me 6 bullet points that = guaranteed hire, and I'll help you.

Project Coordinator
>>>somebody outgoing (able to call scary management and demand things)
>>>able to repeat processes consistently/accurately
>be confortable with calling everything a widget until they learn department short words (works with a lot of engineers)
>able to track humans
>able to track paperwork
>able to know when esclation is needed (or smart enough to ask less than 4 times a day)

Standard admin job really

>>976300
So... No degree. No previous experience needed. No specific software competencies.

Again, I asked for 6 points that equal "when can you start". Listing a bunch of bullshit is just going to get you a stack of bullshit resumes. Back to the drawing board! 6 points that you would hire the possessor of without even interviewing them.

Recruiters hate these types of openings, and ignore them, because the hiring manager has no clue what they are actually looking for.

>>976304
that is correct.
we require high school, able to learn MS Office.

We need a human to babysit some engineers who can't orgaize themselves.

>>976305
Ok, that's telling me you guys are picky, because you could literally pick any girl from a gaggle of mall going teenagers to do this job for $9/hr. Pick a resume, at random, and hire her. Job done.

>>976307
this would be my preference. Honestly, this is one of those jobs were I would be happy if I could get a perfect resume (no spelling errors, formatting) and be happy with that.

Our professional recruiter is being picky and we have 3 resumes so far.

I need to find somebody and recommend them and I don't know anyone who would take an "admin" job and not my circle. I am ready to start trolling the mall next week.

>>976311
If your recruiter is forwarding resumes with spell errors, that a figurative "fuck you, I'm not working on this shit". They literally didn't even open the resumes in Word to look for red squiggly lines. Just go to the mall broseph.

>>976313
Addendum:

For a $23 an hour secretary job, pick cuties and rate their blow job skills as an interview.

I miss being a recruitment sales manager sometimes...

>>976313
picking up bitches at the mall. It is like it is 20 years ago. My wife is never going to lever going to stop making fun of me for this.

I worked for a non profit in 2009. They did things the old fashioned way. Ads in Craigslist, self assessing and self hiring. No agencies.

We needed a person to work for me, munging through data, compiling into spreadsheets so I could upload it.

I had to do the recruiters job.

>1. Put an ad in Craigslist and on your company site so Indeed hopefully picks it up.

>2. List the qualifications and requirements.

>3. Sift through piles and piles of bullshit resumes.

>4. Fuck there are a lot of them. Build a generic "thanks for your interest we're going with another candidate but will keep your resume on file" letter.

>5. Look for the needle in the haystack.

>6. Email them and ask them if they're still interested and set up a time to call them.

>7. Have a list of bs filter questions and a couple of freak/weirdo/creep filter questions. The purpose of the call is to figure out if this person lied and/or if this person is a freak, weirdo and/or creep.

>8. Have them come in for a face to face interview. Have someone join you. Your job is to assess for technical skill. The other person will assess soft skills.

>9. Be sure you have 2 or 3.

>10. Hire your choice and send the others the generic letter.

^ step 3 fucking sucks. Do it anyway

>>976300
What city are you from?

>>976282
>I have an opening in my office and I need to fill it with somebody half competent

Ok
>Don't hire women
>Don't hire blacks
>Don't hire Pajeets
>Don't hire gooks(they cheat)

>>976441
women and blacks are actually very competent in the workplace

it's the white men that are whiny babies

File: laughing-man-mixed-race-male-hysterically-32711735.jpg (102KB, 1300x1066px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 1300x1066px

>>976478
>women and blacks are actually very competent in the workplace

File: laughing-man-2.jpg (21KB, 383x317px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 383x317px

>>976478
>it's the white men that are whiny babies

Yeah because white men are the ones who keep complaining to HR that they feel "uncomfortable" and make fake sexual harassment claims

>>976478
Do not EVER hire someone like this, op. They are cancer to actual productive environments, as I'm sure you already know because you are actually in a position to hire. Let one in, and say goodbye to any levity you may have to get through the toughest days.

>>976483
>>976481
>>976479
>>976478
>>976441
>>>/pol/
>>>/tumblr/
>>>/AnywhereButHere/

>>976483
>They are cancer to actual productive environments, as I'm sure you already know because you are actually in a position to hire

The thing is that they only affect already too big to fall companies. Small companies require everyone to be doing their job 100%, no slacking or dicking around or else something important doesn't get done.

But in large companies there's tons of people sitting around doing nothing or pushing paper and itn ever gets noticed

>>976485
Says the kid with the bare minimal of common sense advice that she picked up while she "worked at a nonprofit in 2009" as a secretary.

>>976513
I'm a Senior Business Intelligence Engineer with 15 years industry experience currently supervising a team of 5. You fucking schmuck.

Typically, I farm out recruiting to HR who farms it out to multiple headhunting/recruiting agencies each competing for our business so by the time I get my face to face interview it's with a competent, qualified and "normal" candidate, but the one time I had to do it myself, 6 years ago, I remembered enough about the process to give OP a hand


Which is a fuck of a lot more than the "go to the mall" bullshit everyone else has given.

What was your advice?
>>976307
> go to the mall and pick a resume at random
You work in a call center or something, don't you.

>>976760
pics or it didn't happen

You don't pick up staff at the shopping mall, dummy. You pick up an overpriced pair of running shoes, or an STI from the slut at the Jamba Juice