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>interview at Uber >told not sales-y enough >interview

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>interview at Uber
>told not sales-y enough

>interview at banking software company
>told not developer-y enough

>interview at bank
>told not confident enough

>interview at consultancy
>told not experienced enough

>interview at printer company
>interview for business analyst role
>interview at call centre
>interview for another business analyst role
>no call

>interview at law firm
>interview at accounting software company
>told not motivated enough

>interview for security consultancy role
>told I don't live close enough

>interview at serviced office
>told I'm overqualified

Boy, job interviews sure are a hoot haha. How many have you guys been to in the last four months?
>>
0 because I have a job.

I think you need to strongly reflect on your interview skills and enthusiasm if you're having this much difficulty with interviews. It can't be a coincidence to fail so many.
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>>974071
Yeah, flat tone + depression really fucks with the 'you don't sound motivated' bit

I dunno, that's my bitch for the day
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>>974075
take some fucking cocaine or something

at least drop 4 redbulls before you go in, better than sounding like you do now
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>>974077
I've got ritalin?
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>>974069
Maybe fucking decide on a career and prepare for the interview rather than shop around
>>
God interview culture is such bullshit
>Johnson, you don't seem too enthused. What's the problem? You'll bend over, I'll come in dry - make sure you get a smile on that ugly mug! - and then when I'm done, I'll give you a quarter and you can lick me clean.
>>
>>974069
Let me guess. You're a 20 something with a degree and maybe some work experience at a few shit-tier companies if you're lucky? You aren't talent bro. If you want companies to suck your dick, then you need to specialize. Become an expert in something and only go for jobs in that area.
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>>974097
> 20 something with a degree and maybe some work experience at a few shit-tier companies

Doesn't that describe most of 4chan jobseekers?
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>>974077
this legit.
It seems you're turning up sounding like a bitch. Grow some balls and let them know they need you, ffs anon.
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>>974099
Indeed. But you do need to adjust your expectations. The truth is: people in this age and experience bracket are next to useless in the real world and most employers know this. They know that university doesn't adequately prepare employees for the workforce simply because companies are already so specialized that you would need another degree on top of the one you already have (just in the companies business.)

The only hope you have if you aren't an expert is to somehow find a company that's so specialized that it knows it can only hire shit tier applicants and is willing to settle, bu as the OP is finding out: a lot of employers are willing to hold out for the best - and this is especially true in the technology sector which is where I currently work.

In my industry: if you're an expert at [latest obscure investor rich field] then it literally doesn't matter what degree you have, your previous work experience, or your place of origin. Companies will fucking fly you out in a plane to silicon valley, pay for your hotel, and book you a one on one with the executives (usually a few guys if its a startup) if you know how to play your cards right. But I'm guessing nobody ever told the OP that degrees are the perhaps the least rewarding way to make it in the job-market long term.
>>
>>974106
>degrees are the perhaps the least rewarding way to make it in the job-market long term

That's a big claim

I mean sure if you're a genius self-learner who'll blow away employers with your ability then sure, but I'm talking general case.
>>
interviewed for some gov grad programs, some multi-nationals, rejected from them all.

making more money running an online business but feels like I'm pissing my degrees away
>>
>>974109
The general case is that there are no real geniuses: only people who are more or less lazy than other people, so theoretically what I said still applies.

Think of it like investing: getting a degree is like buying a bunch of bonds or shit-tier indexes that give you like <= n% annual returns that barely keep pace with inflation. Everyone knows this is what you do with "investing" which is why its so shitty. The people "in the know", realize that all of the real money is to be made on the outside but most people lack the necessary personal traits to follow through with this so they never try it.

It's far too easy just to settle for a mediocre life, built on mediocre jobs, for mediocre people, then it is to actually take a risk. Because if you take a risk then you might fail, and most people don't realize that failure is a normal part of the process so the prospect terrifies them. This is why everyone in this thread is a stupid furry who eats Jew dicks for breakfast.
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>>974069

2 interviews. 1 job, and one "I really want someone like you in this company but I don't know where I should put you."
>>
>>974075
>>974077

OP, get on some anti depressants.

Sort your life out first before you interview again.

You'll eventually get hired for some shitty job you dont really want and get too lazy to quit.
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>>974116
There absolutely are geniuses, you're simply not one and it comforts you to think nobody else is either.
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>>974069
Applications. 237

Phone interviews 10

First interviews 3

Second interview 2

Job 1


It has been rough. The interviews i thought i rocked i got no follow up. The ones i thought i did poorly on I got seconds.

The second round I thought I fucking bombed, going so far as to write and hand deliver an apology for wasting their time.
Is the one I got.

Now im fucking panicked that im going to be outed as a mistake and fired.


But. That is driving me to work my ass off.
>>
>>974156
237 applications. The fuck were you applying for? I can find like 5 jobs to apply for in a good week in my field.
>>
I once got told I wasn't good enough in a field of law where I scored 10/10 in at the uni.

That was pretty.. odd.
>>
Interviewed for internship at a respectful financial group. Told I blew them out the water. What's your excuse OP?
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>>974069

Generally when you get to an interview stage the job is yours to lose. They've already decided based on your CV that you are qualified , so they just want to make sure that you aren't some anti-social weirdo they could stand working with you for extended periods of time.

Sounds like you need to practice interviewing. There are classes and clinics for this stuff, I suggest you attend one.
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>>974116
Okay so you're the less lazy self taught genius. Never seen, been around "mediocre" people and their lives. Stop taking the piss unless you're in the top tier.
>>
>>974069
0, i worked my way up from unpaid intern to fulltime
>>
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>>974069
>How many have you guys been to in the last four months?
Countless amount of applications and at least 7 different interviews
I won't repeat my story because I am the "Best buy interview, toys R us, I need to pay my tuition " guy. I've been posting my job hunting frustration for months >>973708

What got me was I was applying for entry level jobs all over the place, to work for minimum wage. Don't get me wrong I walked in ready and willing to work. But this is a really shitty job we're talking about and they expect us to be smiling that we have the opportunity for this to happen >>974093

And now that I am actually working in a big box store they've only given me 10 total hours last week and maybe 5 hours top for this entire week (Today on thanksgiving after they open)

Fuck this C.uck economy
>>
>>974268
You try post office seasonal work?
>>
>>974280
No I didn't try the post office. I did see they required a really long hiring process and I sort of need money as quickly as possible.
I thought I was set when I finally got toys R us, but with the amount of hours they are giving me, I'll be lucky to even get 25% of my goal.
>>
1/2
>interviewing at "marketing agency" i never heard of in town
>location is on a street ironically called "Wall street", but in the fucking slum of our city, terrible neighborhood
>I walk in, the office looks like a fucking episode of Hoarders. Papers laying around dated 2004
>there is an old Spiderman 3 burger king/mcdonalds/fast food drink cup, with the lid and straw still on it (the black Spiderman 3 movie promo cup from fucking 2007), just sitting on some empty desk, literally not thrown out for 8 fucking years
>patches of carpet randomly cut out, as if they committed a fucking murder and had to cut out the part of the carpet where the murder scene happened to cover it up
>2 rooms in the office - the one I just described, and the one that is the "boss's office"
>the room i am in has zero people in it, i doubt anyone actually works there, there is nothing that indicates an actual workspace for human beings
>i am standing here, and the door to the boss's office swings open, it was the guy who was interviewing me
>the guy interviewing me looked like a fucking sex offender. Waist-high 90s jeans, velcro new balance lesbian shoes, balding, deer-in-the-headlights look on his face like all the Family Watchdog mugshots. In fact when I got home later I entered his name and variations of it in Family Watch Dog, but he was not a registered sex offender to my surprise
>on the right side of his desk, literally touching the mousepad, is a hand cream bottle with a pump, as if he is ready to fap on a moment's notice
>he has a framed photo of Steve Jobs on his desk, the same way a normal person would have a spouse or a family member. He had a PC computer.
>there are Christmas and Halloween candy wrappers on the floor, but it was July. I noticed no Valentine's Day wrappers - he didn't seem like a Valentine's Day guy.
>"So ... what's your broad gonna say when you tell her you got yourself a WALL STREET job?" he says, not sure if he was joking
continued...
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>>974174
Analyst positions in healthcare

I was applying in 5 major metro areas. Willing to relocate at my expense.
>>
>>974069
0 because you don't simply get an interview without an insider recommendation in Spain.
>>
2/2
>he got up and excused himself for a few minutes right when i sat down to interview
>i texted a friend my location and who i was meeting with because i genuinely thought something was gonna happen to me - murdered, kidnapped, idk
>he comes back says he was big in direct paper mail marketing, and wants to venture into "the realm of e-marketing". Who says "e-marketing"? And the way he said it was like he was reinventing the wheel, like no one has ever thought of using the internet for business before. It's 2015 by the way, in case I didn't mention that. This is not 1990. This was like 6 months ago.
>i sense he basically sees i am a millennial and assumes i am an internet expert, that's why he wanted to interview me
>you know when you run your finger between the skin of your nutsack and inner thigh and give it a smell? his entire office smelled like that
>he's about 50 - no wedding band on his finger. he asked me if i had a girlfriend. I said yes. He said "women . . . do you think you'll ever get married?" and that was the only question he asked in the entire interview. I said "idk probably, sure".
>the rest of the time he lectured me on extremely basic marketing/business cliches. "I subscribe to a phrase - 'buy low sell high', do you know what that means?" and explained it to me.
>i have never cringed for a longer period of time for my entire life

When the "interview" was over i walked out as fast as I could, got in my car, never answered a call or email from them again
>>
>>974291
Back in October the regional hub near me had a 2 week process. You might still be able to get in, but you will work less than 4 weeks.

My "I have no idea how I got this job" interview
>talk to temp agency
>see lab tech job
>wants 2 years experience
>"we don't think you would be a good fit"
>give me a test and send my resume over after I told them I can learn it
>score 30 points higher than average
>think I bomb the interview, but made them laugh
>get a call an hour later offering me the job
>interviewer says I deserve a chance
>start Monday

I sent out 30 resumes over 2 months, had 2 interviews. I think being employed, even at a shit job, helped me.
>>
>>974106
>In my industry: if you're an expert at [latest obscure investor rich field]
What are some obscure investor rich fields I can specialize in?
>>
>>974715
Undersea comet mining
>>
>>974069
>had 4 in person interviews thus far
>every time get an offer
>refused one thus far because muh 50 hour work week salary
interviews are easy as hell last one i had they sent out 7k over what i was expecting on the offer shit was crazy. i couldn't stop yelling "fucking yes" when i saw it.
>>
>>974069
Through college I went through 9 internship interviews. 7 of them offered me interships, and I took 4 of those offers through my college years. I got my first job from the last intership (though I had open offers from the previous 3 internhips). Recently underwent 2 interviews because I wanted a change in my career, got offers from both and accepted one.
>>
2

One was pointless and i only went because i had nothing else to do, and the other got me a part time job making $10 an hour in fast food.
>>
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>>974069
>>interview at Uber
>>told not sales-y enough
...
are you memeing?
Is this a meme?
There isn't anything to sell at Uber but your ability to serve the needs of the guest you pick up. You literally just clean yourself up and your car and drive and chit chat like a respectable adult.

t. Uber driver


You know what the number one thing people in their fourties talk about? Millennials and how shit they are. I'm not even exaggerating in the slightest.
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