>apply to be a dishwasher >need 2 years experience >apply

>>3489675
Apply anyway

They hire anyone.

you ever heard of this thing called lying

They say this to stop loads of people applying

>>3489675
>say no experience required
>non serious people mostly druggies apply and quit after 1 week when they dont like it
>say 2y experience required even though its false
>receive 4 applications from desperate serious people who applied anyway because they really want to work
Welcome to HR.

>>3489675
ever heard of unpaid internships?
you do those while your in school or living with your parents

>>3489685
Not where in my state. I live near the fucking capital.

>>3489697
I'll lie harder.

>>3489700
Dude.

>>3489737
>unpaid internship washing dishes

um

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>>3489675
Rather than striving to improve themselves and work their way up the ladder, you have 40 year old men working entry level jobs designed for teenagers and demanding that the government increase their minimum wage to $20/hour. It leaves no jobs for the actual 16 year olds these positions were meant for.

>>3489747
Just apply retard.

They hire anyone. Anyone. The "interview" is literally a test to see if you're not mentally ill

>>3489737
Don't listen to this guy. Unpaid internships are worthless.

>>3489737

They should be illegal to begin with.

[kneepads meme]
[insecure 20-somethings talking about their degree]
[insecure NEETs talking about how you don't need a degree]
[guy talking about how you should never apply and it's hopeless and trying to shift the discussion toward exit bags and painless suicide methods]
[boomer-tier faggot telling everyone to just look him in the eye and shake his hand]
[subsequent discussion of nepotism]
[that guy who always comes here and talks about how he's a software dev, 70k starting, no degree]
[that guy who debates the guy above because he's a tiny dicked CS grad who had to work extremely hard and blow like 50k for his shitty degree just to get a job making the same as the above guy]
[guy with math degree 300k starting]
[that guy with a trust fund]
[guy posting about dubs with an anime pic who is currently in college and not insecure because he has a real major and is interning or has something lined up or rich parents or whatever else]
["lol who cares just invest in <shitcoin>"]
["this, but bitcoin instead. shitcoins are dead"]
etc.

>>3489778
Or to see if you don't give off serial killer vibes.

>>3489675

OP I am being 100% sincere and speaking only from experience.

You don't need experience for dishwashing. Walk in to every restaurant in your area and ask, you'll get hired. I've held like 20 different job titles over the past ten years because I am a serial wagecuck. Just fucking talk to the people like human beings. You aren't going to get anywhere if you don't talk to people.

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>>3489817
>guy posting about dubs with an anime pic who is currently in college and not insecure because he has a real major and is interning

dubs please?

>>3489831
Eh, that part can be waived depending on how much they need someone.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ_HTABr7hA

>>3489675
Same happened to me. What state or country you in?

>>3489817
lel

>Need experience
I don't think so. I got a job where they wanted 2 years of experience and It was my first job.

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>>3489675

>>3489817
kek

>>3489848
>you apply online

>>3489675
Ok, could someone please explain to me how someone posting here is looking for a job as a fucking DISHWASHER?

If you are posting on 4chan you clearly know SOMETHING about computers. Figure out how to get an entry-level IT job (fixing printers, rebooting people's computers, installing operating systems). At the very least go get a job doing data entry.

How the fuck are you this retarded?

>>3489857
>>3489848

Where do you guys live? 1989 New York? Went to a "job fair" for yet another pizza restaurant and some hairy fuck took one look at my resume and said "yeeah you're not the right fit." All I could think about was reaching across the table and strangling him until he turned blue. I spent 6 months at a fucking woodworking shop doing heavy manual labor, working with machines and several more months working as a food/prep dishwasher for a couple other small businesses. I'm not going to just stop applying, but holy fuck.

Retards need to stop expecting to just get a job when they have literally nothing to offer. All you have to do is learn some basic skill and all of a sudden you're 1 in 100 instead of 1 in 100,000.
6 months is enough to learn the basics of welding or sign language or driving a forklift or MS excel or whatever. If you can't even put in that effort, of course nobody wants to hire you

>you don't even have 2 years of experience washing dishes for your parents

>you don't even have 2 years of experience cleaning up your house/cleaning your bathrooms

>you never set up the dinner table or cleaned up afterwards

Shit parenting I guess

How did you even get into such a bad position? Genuinely curious. Did you have a drug addiction or something?

I don't expect everyone to be >300k starting math degree, but this is really low level here.

>>3489737
Did you mean: Indentured Servitude

You dont need to be rejected for slave jobs you need a high power rile and a group of young men who have also been cut off from life by niggers jews and feminists and GET TO KILLING. go to the high rise bank and follow rich jews. KILL THEM with your squad. REPEAT> GO TO WEALTHY MANSIONS AND KILL ALL ADULTS AND TEENS OF ADULT SPECS. HUNT JEWS USE SQUADS TO TAKE OUT KIDNAPPERS WITH FLASHING LIGHTS

>>3490119
>>>/pol/

>>3489952
Are you ugly?

>>3490027
For years I was a heavy drinker, heavy smoker, general wastrel. Had some cushy jobs but spent it all at the bars in the city chasing skirts being a general dumbass. I never saved. Was suicidal almost every day. Abyssal self-esteem, really bad temper. Eventually I quit all my bad habits, took up weight lifting, and moved out for a year. Got a new perspective on life. But my past caught up to me, and my resume is largely shit. Been unemployed for the past five months now, teaching myself residential maintenance work. I had a course signed up at a local community college but the instructor didn't show up or some bullshit. I planned on hitting the ground running, moving up the ladder to property manager in under 2 years. It was cancelled.

>>3490119
Alternatively, get those men together and start your own business?

>>3489675
>headhunters don't leave you alo e
>make outrageous salary requests
>they still try to make you go to an interview


At least I'm relevant

Big data, do you even handle it?

>>3490027
>parents have no money to pay for education
>go straight to working minimum wage job out of highschool
>10 years later working a different, very slightly above minimum wage job

seems like everyone I know is on this path desu I don't understand how people afford a house or a car in our society

>>3489675
Those are loser jobs. The only people who do that for more than a few months during their college summers are losers! They only want losers because they won't leave after a fews months. If you do a loser job for 2 years, then you will be doing loser jobs in 2 more years. It's to filter out the go-getters and upwardly mobile who only do loser jobs to fill in the gaps, not to base their life on.

>>3490195
What degree?

>>3489770
tfw I wanted to get a job as soon as I turned 12
:...(
Nearly 30 now...still no luck.

How do uglyfag get hired?

>>3489925
>tfw never realized I was the l33t h4x0r all along
Thanks 4chan!

>>3490178
No.

>work at call center that pays $16.52/hr at a school
>know I lucked the fuck out and am making more than my peers (besides the ones with real jobs)
>tfw this job trains me for nothing but everything else pays $15 or less

I am stuck in this dead end job with a 3% yearly raise. It's not horrible, currently on my phone cause the internet is out so we have fuck all to do.

Whatever you do OP don't get kicked out of college. I want to die and have no future unless crypto really takes off. Somehow making more than a weeks pay in minutes off of meme Monopoly money.

>>3490212
They don't. If you're also USA, then you should learn the secret to living in this country: Go into as much fucking debt as you want! 20trillion, now...

>>3489737
I spaghetti'd at the job fairs and didn't get any offers.

>>3489675
that's what happens when you flood the labor markets with illegal immigrants

>>3489817
/biz/ in a few lines, congrats m8

>>3490230
Bsci CS, Msci molbio, PhD CS

>>3489952
I live in Ontario Canada.

I was a NEET for a year, no degree. Applied to 15 jobs - 6 interviews 5 job offers for wagie jobs

>apply to be a street cleaner
>rejected
>apply to be a food packer
>rejected
>apply to be a janitor in pastry factory
>no response
>apply to be a warehouse worker
>got let go after a month
>apply to be a software developer
>got hired

>>3489675

don't ever let the requirements stop you from applying to a job you think you'd be good at.

>>3489925
in the uk you need experience and qualifications/ a degree to do data entry

>>3491022
Seriously?

>>3489675

Well I've been doing dishes since I could walk.

I puts the soap on
I lather that shit real good
Wipe the dish down
Rinse the dish
Put the dish on a towel or wipe it down to dry

If you can't explain your past experiences washing dishes, God help you.

>>3491066
Yes. I'm literally stuck wagecucking in a hotel, of which i have to go to now... I seriously want to fucking die

>>3489675
>>3489685
this is not true. you have to beg a family friend to hook you up. thats literally the only way. if you arent somebodys son youre fucked

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>>3489817
kek, best post

>>3489697
That's why I hate this world. Full of lyers and scumbags and lying thieving scum. Every employer in the world exists to rip off their employees and their customers. Fucking scumbag world.

>>3490119
This

>>3491091
Retarded lmao

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Minimum wage should be eliminated and it should be legal to pay employers to get a job. Same logic as paying to go to school. Historically, apprenticeships were unpaid.

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>>3489675
Dude, I was unemployed for FOUR FUCKING MONTHS living off my crypto savings and what money from my school loans I had left before I got a job.

I know your fucking pain man. And I was a 4.0 student with a master's degree.

Just keep applying and don't be afraid to work at a McDonald's or something until something better comes round.

My advice;
>get job at walmart
>save some money up
>transfer stores to a different state/city with a more thriving economy
>move there
>find an actual good job

I genuinely dont know what you guys are doing to not be able to get a job.

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>>3489817
Wow... this is actually really accurate kek.

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Sounds like I need to have a discussion with management as to why he isn't hiring someone with a phd in dish washing or just buying a robot dish washer. He needs to get those margins up so we can do a dividend recap. I needa new Porsche

>>3489737
>unpaid internships
Which jewish nosed man came up with this idea? Willing slavery?

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>>3491443

And a new condo by the French Riviera to support a mistress

>>3491478
what the hell are you in?
looks like an airplane toilet

>>3491542
that's business class at the minimum

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>>3491599

Bingo, this is business

>>3489675
the minimum wage has eliminated entry level jobs

>>3489675
>2 years of experience for a janitor
fucking lmao. That's like half a college degree. For fuck's sake there's no way in hell cleaning is THAT hard.

I have a STEM degree from an ivy league school. If I want to be a goddamn janitor I find it hard to believe I wouldn't be able to handle the job.

>>3491143
gotta do what you gotta do, I'm against it but fuck you can't even be NEET for a couple years and get a job because muh employment gaps look bad

>>3491542
seriously dumbass?

oh I forgot I'm on biz, where its just a bunch of poorfags larping that they got rich on shitcoins.

>>3489675
Lol thank you minimum wage

>>3489737
>you do those while your in school or living with your parents
Implying I wasn't living on the fucking street by 14

Fuck yourself silver spooner. I'm coming for everything you've got and you better believe I'm hungry

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>>3489675
>graduate from college with CS degree with no prior job or internship experience whatsoever
>/g/ and cryptofags on /biz/ meme that I'll never get hired
>apply to first junior dev position I see
>called in for interview a day later
>get job offer later that day
>mfw I don't have to day trade crypto or spend the rest of my life as a bitter NEET

>>3490194
well thats your choice cause then you wont get hurt and you can sit in your cubicle and go home to temperature controlled taxation. But really its time to wipe out the jews, long past the time. time to leave dead jews and government freaks in ditches dead is now

On a serious note - give them a friends phone number - ask em to screen their calls for a week.

Say you worked at a farm, scrapyard, something that wouldnt be necessary to check for a 10-99, but shows backbone.

litreally just lie, they won't check that shit anyways

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>>3491802
>Implying I wasn't living on the fucking street by 14
>Implying

itt: Retards fighting over who had it harder.

Who gives a fuck, grow up and GET IT.

>>3489817
delet

>be game dev
>copy paste code
>easily 30k a month, perhaps more if effort is made
suck it loosers

>>3490946
kek, could be serious

>>3491635
is it worth it? looks just as cramped as coach
I never fly tho

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You think now the demand is low? Wait till AI and robots will replace all the automatable repetitive task jobs.

>>3490291
Have something called a "skill" that is useful or entertaining.

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>>3492092

You can lay all the way down and sleep, which is kinda important if you are meeting a CEO/investor the next day. A few glasses of wine to knock you down as well

>>3489697
Im sick of this culture of lying, and jewry, i want a damn civil war.

>>3492728

And you can't even afford tight fitting socks...
Not even warren buffet is that cheap

I walked my way into a job paying 100k a year. No education. Clearly you live in the wrong area. Move somewhere else. Live in your car. Follow the work. Quit being a cuck

>>3492746
Look at those shoes on the other guy, heh

>>3489867
THIS.

Chicken tendies, crypto trading. The NEET life.

>>3492751
details?

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>>3489737

Fuck that... who the fuck would participate in a system that has been set up in such a way that you are forced to do unpaid work, with the treath of joblessness if you dont later on. Only a cuck would submit to that.

I'd rather drain that system by being an unemployed social security neet, trading crypto's.

>>3492746
Being so envious of someone that you make fun of their socks

>>3491846
How's that job at Target?

>>3492783
I moved to northern Canada and took a camp job. Seriously look for jobs. Be prepared to move for your job. A different be prepared for it to suck. I did this until I saved up enough to the point where work isn't that important anymore.

>>3492991
>I moved to northern Canada and took a camp job.
What do you do exactly? And why would they ever hire some random NEET with no experience and no degree?

>>3492893

>envious

If I were I would have made fun of something else, buddy

>>3489737
>lele just go work for free senpai


kys faggot i would rather die a homeles druggy under a bridge than offer myself as a slave

>>3489806
Never work for free unless it's for yourself.

>>3493004
I don't work there anymore but this was several years ago. I worked on an oil drilling rig. They might not hire you now as the world has changed a lot since a few years ago. What I'm trying to say is find something. Think outside the box and go in with a good attitude. When I started working there, they would have hired a literal monkey if he was capable of following orders. I don't care anymore about shitty jobs. But I bet they are rout there. Most people can't be bothered to look for them

>>3494014
how'd you graduate from oil drilling rig job to what you do now? What DO you do now? And what'd you do on the rig?

>>3494024
I don't work now. I trade shitcoins. I started as a rig bitch. Cleaning stuff. Worked my way up to a driller. Was making 200k drilling. We eventually got laid off because the oil patch died off. An snow I'm here.

>>3494084
Interesting. How'd the process go? Did you contact someone who said "yeah, just show up here in the fucking yukon and we'll make you clean grease out of 200-lb cogs"?
>200k drilling
Fucking hell m8

>>3494104
I saw an online ad looking for workers. Called the number and talked to a guy didn't even give a resume. Offered a job

>>3494104
And yea. Camp job. The guy just told me to meet some other guy at an office in Calgary. So I did that. And he wasn't too interested in what kind of guy I was. Just got me set up in a few courses and booked some airline tickets for me. And said show up at the airport at x time. There will be several others. We all flew north. And I spent like 3 years flying in and out of the bush.

Look overseas. There's opportunities there now. Maybe not for neets. But I'm not sure. Lots of shit countries will host foreigners to come work because white people are more trusted than locals. Or something like that.

>>3494131
>>3494194
>Look overseas. There's opportunities there now. Maybe not for neets. But I'm not sure. Lots of shit countries will host foreigners to come work because white people are more trusted than locals. Or something like that.

Have never heard of this desu but I'd do it.
NEET tho

Currently learning to program in an effort to get a job here in the good ol' USA as a junior dev :^)

>>3489697
>worked for very small(6-12 at any point) warehouse run by my family
>everyone there got paid shit, family all "independent" broke fools slaving every waking minute to the place
>quit
>get good job at large corporation bc "lol I wuz a warehouse manager"
>bastard kid and with women in family none of the references match my last name so "lol not related"
>here's your $20/hr job with copious individual and team bonuses and often 20 hrs of OT
>absolutely unqualified for job
>Still above average for my position bc I actually like to work and its a make-believe meme job

>>3494257
>>absolutely unqualified for job
how'd you git r done?

>>3489952
try shitty hotels

i was NEET for three years, walked in and the manager was like "fill out this app", i did so and he gave me a 10 minute interview then hired me for banquet staff

every dishwasher we have is a pathetic loser who was basically hired. one is a full blown assburger, another is completely deaf. they just hired a new dishwasher too to keep up with holiay demands, and that dude was NEET too. heard it's like this at a lot of hotels from co-workers i've talked to.

>>3494427
even NEETs can get minimum wage jobs, that's not the point

>>3491317
>And I was a 4.0 student with a master's degree.

It's always funny how people in this situation vaguely mention "masters degree" but don't tell you in what. Why is that?

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>>3492746

What are you talking about, all my socks are smart wool and I only wear dead bird casually

Microsoft business cert is a guaranteed job. Don't need a degree, just a resume bullshitted enough to catch the attention of a pajeet recruiter, and willingness to move. Please do this, I need some diversity from all the H1B visas

>>3494565
applied economics specifically econometrics as a focus

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>>3495673
I guess I should also brace myself for the hordes of people who are going to say econ is a meme but don't know which way supply and demand curves slope
>pic related from the Daily Show

>>3495664
Seriously? Kek I might do this. Gibe more info

>>3495742

Sure - go here https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/learning/mcse-business-applications.aspx#cp-section3-head

Under Certifications and Exams, anything under Cloud Platform and Data Management is where the money is. I do SharePoint and SQL Server mostly, but the Azure stuff is where it's at right now.

The barrier to entry is basically the will to figure out the tests you need to take for a cert and just studying for it. There's tons of free learning out there, and relatively cheap books. You don't need to go to classes. When you're ready, the tests you need to take are about a grand. The tests aren't easy (but easy to study for, it's just putting in the work), but that's why businesses take them seriously.

I spent a lot of money on a CS degree from a top CS school. Half my co-workers basically just did this. One of my best buds back in the day at work was an ex-marine who saw a late night TV ad for this stuff while sleeping on his friend's couch. He was making about $140k/yr, a little more than me.

>>3495872

Also, not the newest article, but it's still true about Azure:

https://blogs.technet.microsoft.com/uktechnet/2017/01/31/why-developers-need-microsoft-azure-skills-in-2017/

There's tons of companies that have money in the bank for projects ready to go, but have them on hold because they literally cannot find enough people with Azure skills

>>3495529

>>3495872
>>3495882
Damn I truly need to get in on this then. Im in Canada tho does this still apply

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>>3491315

>>3495958

Definitely, right now Amazon AWS and Microsoft Azure are both fighting it out in Canada, so it's probably a good time as they keep ramping up

>>3496083
Brb doing this ty

>>3496236

good on you anon, it's actual work but it's guaranteed good money

>>3496278
Can I do azure cloud consulting?

All this shit wants a degree. I see a listing for Cloud Demand and Billing Manager for $80-95/hr

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>>3496278
Daily Responsibilities:
• Manage all demand and billing for our Cloud Platform including AWS, Azure, Bluemix, PCF etc..
• Prepare reports on usage and optimize of cost
• Work with Senior Director, Global Cloud Operations to design billing strategy

• Automation of billing reports, provide dashboards and insights on billing • Process invoices, resolve billing issues • Forecast demand and set up accounts, onboarding of teams to cloud platform • Act as SME for all billing and demand inquiries on our Cloud Platform • Other ad hoc requests as needed Certifications: AWS Certifications, Cloud Certifications, Automation, Financial Knowledge Program/technology/software knowledge essential for this role: AWS, Azure, Bluemix, PCF, Public Cloud, Billing systems, Automations, scriptings, Macros, dashboard builder Must Have Skills: Public cloud billing, Pricing Strategy, Charge Back model Nice to Have Skills: • AWS Certifications, Cloud Certifications, Automation, Financial Knowledge

Soft Skills:
• Excellent communication skills

>>3496358

Azure Cloud consulting is golden. I'm a consultant, high level IT consulting is like cheap Wolf of Wall Street shit for social misfits. Normies get actual full-time jobs in these things because they can't travel at a moment's notice and stay overnight at the office shitposting while writing a report. Every gig I took I actually knew maybe 25% of the shit they were asking for as skills, nobody knows all this crap by rote, it's all researching as you work. I've got tons of stories about being presented as an expert on something I didn't even know at the time. Don't be scared off by degree requirements, and you often don't see them. As an example, here's one posted from where my old area was just three hours ago:

https://www.dice.com/jobs/detail/Microsoft-DevOps-Engineer-Agile-Alpharetta-GA-30005/10112507/BBBH9871%26%2345522?icid=sr23-1p&q=azure&l=Atlanta,%20GA

The goal is to get the cert, then you're 90% there, seriously. They put up the degree requirement because they feel like they have to (their boss in HR or whatever). Then you just have to research every acronym you don't understand and be able to say something about it in an interview. The first gig will be the toughest to get, but it's seriously not that hard. After that you're pretty much the boss.

Also, putting your resume up will get you more good stuff than looking for things. Monster is garbage, Dice is everything, Indeed is ok.

Once you start geting into the groove, those posts look pretty funny. What the fuck is "Financial Knowledge"?

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>>3489737
This. Why are people so retarded that they don't understand that even acquiring "experience" in the modern economy is a privilege, and not a right? Majority of good paying jobs require experience, that is a fact, if you aren't dedicated enough to do unpaid internship to get the necessary experience then you simply don't care that much about the job and should continue spend your time as a NEET posting his CV everywhere.

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>Want to do XYZ job
>It's heavily regulated in my country
Fug

>>3496512
Thanks man ill try it

Can I do this:
>>3496428

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>>3490291
Ha I DID have a job when I was 12 for a JEW who paid 2.25 an hour but he did buy up gyros on Fridays fuck I love gyros

Anyway my point is you gotta go get some gyros man I fuckin love gyros