Completely false resume

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Can /biz/ give tips, info and personal experience with totally fabricated resumes?

my resume is fucked up, some previous employers are telling everyone that calls I refused a drug test (true), 3/4 of my previous employers are saying im not a good worker just because I left the company without prior notice

my plan is to get 2-3 cheap phones and use them for my false employer, I will have family answer the phone and say im a great employee

I plan on custom making every resume to make me the perfect candidate for every job

for example:

Job I apply for: assistant manager at dollar general

my resume will say I worked at a mom and pop grocery store, I was given a promotion to supervisor/key holder, then say the business shut down but I still have the boss number, then give my fake number

Any tips and advice for what im doing? If anyone has been successful with It I'd love to hear about it