>So, you're 26 and your resume shows you've never

>kys whore

"I am my own man"

pls hire me

It blows my mind people like this exist.

>>3114492
I am a master of Go and trained for many years. I will work harder than anybody.

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>tfw my resume is full of lies because my dad has his own LLC with 0 employees
>administrative assistant to property manager, 2 years experience
>literally did nothing

>>3114492
I was in the exact situation at 26 and just filled in a bunch of lies about some retail jobs and then working as one of the admins in a company.

Got my first job as a software developer by doing that

just act surprised that theres nothing there. raise your eyebrows and say something like "Oh really? wow thats weird ok not sure how that happened". Interviewers often dont hold small things against you

>>3114533
If anyone knows what I'm referencing here, I'll give you money or something.

>>3114639
japanese board game

>>3114639

is it an old song?

>>3114649
No I mean what my fucking response is from. There's a very famous show where a guy is 26 and never had a job before but when asked he says what I said above.
>>3114665
Nope.

>>3114683
i dont give a shit you little faggot

>>3114532
I wish I was dead

>>3114492
Tell em you freelanced as a webdev and avoided taxes

>>3114683
Big bang theory?

>>3114492
>Yeah, but here's my portfolio of things I've created that will make you want to hire me

make a website with a bunch of home theatre pictures and say you ran your own business installing home theaters. that's what I did. say you did a couple systems a month for $2-10k each

>2008-2017
>Chief Executive Shitposter on 4chan, the world's largest Taiwanese Zoetrope Forum

>>3114639
Golden Boy? Or GTO I forget

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>"So, your 33 and you've not had a job since you were 19"

"You do realize a job is the ultimate form of cuckery, correct?"

>>3114566
Same.

Administrative assistant for the family business since I was 17 here. I might help my dad like 2 hours a week max, but on my resume it says 20 hours a week, and 50 during the summer.

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>>3116562
>So you're a cryptocurrency daytrader? You own a lamborghini? How come you're applying at Dominoes?

>>3114492
I volunteer to homeless shelters and old age homes.
Boom.

>>3114639
Go, the asian board game, of course. A lot more complex than chess. I had a weird moment with a chinese guy trying to talk to him about this game, because it seens that they call it Weiqi.

BTC: 1Fpi2x5FQnSVUheQqpod2RFNtdP5DpbC2k

>>3116913
>>3114639
Oh, but I guess that you're talking of Kawabata's "The Master of Go".

>>3114492
just fucking make something up you goddamn faggot, preferably something your retarded ass could actually do
spin your resume around and eventually someone will fall for it

>>3114683
manlet detected

>>3114639

Silicon Valley?

tell them you were in a coma for 10 years

Was in prison

>>3114492
you need to lie.

put a few retail jobs on there. the GAP at the mall, Orange Julius, shilling cell phone repair at the mall, something.

>>3116628
>please, I need the job. It's been a rough month for us DigiMarines.

>>3114492
>yes, that is correct. I recently graduated mega cum load with a phd in Early German Romanticism

>>3114492
seems you've had a job in the past
care to explain why you are not at the vocation

>never lied on resume
>struggled through min wage jobs for 5 years
>friend lied on rez
>started off as manager of IT department in big company
>I just hit 50k/yr
>he just hit 100k/hr

liars will burn in hell
at least I hope they will
because it is unfair and i am jelly asf

>>3114532
I'm 28. Stop it.

I worked for family business, side jobs etc mowing grass saving up cmon man

>>3114532
Its okay if im 22 with no job experience right?

>>3117574
What did your friend put down? How do you know they didn't lie about lying?

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>>3117574
>being honest
>ever
Ethics and morals are extinct things fit only for the history books

"What do you think is the most attractive thing about working here? What opportunities exist for eager, hard working, people, like me, who want to learn from the others working here?"

>>3114683
This is why millenials need entry level jobs. You. Are. Not. Important.

>>3117822
>You. Are. Not. Important.
>typing like this
sounds like you need an entry level job too

>>3117629
No, but you can turn it around with internships/volunteering

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>>3114566
>>3116598
>>3114595
>>3115952
>>3116982
>>3117499
>>3117611
>>3117668
narcissistic pieces of shit

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>>3114532

>PhD in physics
>2 successful tech start ups
>1 patented product under my name
All this at 24, I thought this as /biz/ not /r9k/. Crypto has caused neetness

>>3114492
>What do I say to this?

I was 31 and had zero jobs before because I was a monk.

Then I eventually found that I can't live without a proper wage.

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>>3117951
Sheltered manchild

>>3117974
>lying on the internet

>>3117999
I did lie about the tech startups lmao. Rest is true. I have released opensource software on GitHub though :^)

Why the fuck can I not get jobs that literal fucking teenagers are doing?!?!?! Does everyone just fucking hate millenials or what?!?!?!

I am seriously fucking done with this shit I live in a fucking flyover state where men my age are expected to be retarded and work manual labor and factory jobs. I cannot even get a job as an entry level teller as they are reserved for fucking fat women and teenage girls.

WHY THE FUCK DID I TEACH MYSELF ACCOUNTING reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>3114492
Rape her
Make her afraid to not recommend you to the next stage it works with dumb HR cunts and fags and you get a nut off before the cops arrive

>>3118065
Listen to the fags who have "experience" working for their parents. You put down that you worked for your uncle's bullshit company for 2 years after college and then 30 something adults won't hate you so much when you walk around fresh out of college acting like you know what the fuck you're doing. Gen xers had to eat shit from faggot bosses but you'll skip it snowflake. And yes we'll still hate you but maybe you'll make it that way.

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I was busy taking care of my dying mother.
Would they buy it?

You start by lying and putting down entry level jobs even a monkey could do, or whatever fits your skill set.
Then proceed through the interview as she never asks you that fucking question.

>>3114492
lol tfw ur 19 and have 3 years of working behind you already

>>3114532
More than you think do.
The job market is becoming increasingly shit, especially if you're white.

>>3114636
this

>>3118187
God, i wish that was me

>>3118187
I actually had to do that and they did.

>>3117974
>physics PhD at 24
were you an autistic savant who started uni at 16 or did you go to a shittier community college? There's no way in hell you got a physics bachelor at 21 and a PhD by 24 without special circumstances

>>3114492
Does cooking at Pizza Hut count as job experience? Also I worked for a moving company but got paid under the table, keep that between us though.

>>3118492
were you on the payroll? if so then yes.
there's a big difference between shitty minimum wage labor and actually 0 experience

>>3114492
Didn't feel like it, I got enough capital to live off for a few decades.

Although it might be interesting to see a work enviroment.

>>3118462
Uni at 18, due to my results and experience got onto PhD position at 21 (skipping masters).