I dont get technical analysis, why do people predict where the

Because technical analysis is designed for giant markets, not crypto where a handful of people control the entire market.

TA is kind of weird since some it applies to crypto but most of it doesn't.

Fact of the matter is that whales don't have to do the opposite of what people think they will do. There are enough retards in crypto that get all starry eyed and put thousands into random ass coins that they think are going to moon that the whales just keep buying up coins while low and then letting greedy retards pump the price for them.