>spent about 6 weeks at my first real job after graduation

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>spent about 6 weeks at my first real job after graduation
>work in government job in London
>work in not very technical excel jockey generic office job with inflated job title
>wake up today and for the first time feel a visceral feeling of being a drone
>have no idea how my work, my team's work, or even entire government department's work affects things
>in the technical team, I think, but the most technical stuff I've seen was outsourced to a consulting firm (and it was economics related so even it was laughably bullshitty)
>see other people using PowerPoint, word, and wonder how the FUCK anyone else's job could be more braindead than mine but too autistic to talk to others, nvm ask rude things

How the fuck do I actually "make it"? I see myself as a technical minded guy. Do people at all office jobs feel like their brains are dying? Do mechanical engineers? Do programmers at Google? Are STEM academics and silicon valley millionaires the only non subhumans in society?

And anyone who says 9-5 is nothing is a big fat liar. And I still feel like a pathetic loser because I'm the office's ugly and bad social skills loner.

I'm going to spend £100 on crypto when I get paid just to not feel like some balless faggot. Also if it goes up I can pretend to be smart. I'm also going to learn programming just to do something.

Picrelated is me waking up a groggy, caffeine filled mess every morning