I have $1,000 to invest and have no idea where to start. Can

>>1943603

Buy a -1 ETN on the S&P 500 and wait until the economy crashes. Then sell.

Black lobster

I don't know what you guys mean. Except >>1943611

Pretty sure he's just memeing it up.

>>1943603

I got you bro.

First and Foremost, you need a Robinhood brokerage in your life.

Next start listening to the drama around governments and corporate announcements.

Buy according to the news, companies that you know are gonna do well or will stand to benefit from the news youre seeing.

Buy and hold for as long as possible. Wait

Continue to listen, and I cant stress this enough
BUY THE DIP -5% + and wait again for the next opportunity.

>>1943622
Honestly man, forgive my noobness and shit, but I have not lurked hard enough here to understand most of that. Is there a sticky or something? What is Robinhood and what does buying the dip mean?

put it all on black

>>1943603
If i had $1000 that I wanted to safely invest, i would put it in AKRX first thing monday morning and play the arbitrage between now and when fresenius publishes it's official offer (likely in the $40-$50 range)

>>1943631
Robinhood - Free Stock Trading by Robinhood Markets, Inc.

Google it bro.

Boom !

Robinhood is the cheap kind of brokerage account youre gonna find.

Buying a dip is purchasing a security on the market for less than a particular running average.
Think of a sale NOOB-hammer. Buy it on the cheap and leave it alone.

Navigating the Robinhood app will get some sense of the lingo

Don't know how willing you guys are about this, but would anyone be up for coaching/guiding me through some initial steps with this? I really do want to start handling money more efficiently, but don't know any basics. Just looked up Robinhood and can see that I know next to nothing.

>>1943649
Thanks man

>>1943656
Honestly managing investments is like having sex or choosing a career. It's gonna be what floats your boat. Every fucker on here is gonna who says that they got it down to a science is a lier.

I like to break it to companies I like. The price point where the companies sitting at, the P/E ratio, where the company has been, where the companies public image it and how strong its finances are.

>>1943603
Buy a suit and go find a job

>>1943732
this is a scam, don't listen to him op

>>1943603
Get decent clothes and transportation and find yourself an okay job. In the long term $1,000 won't be much, so it's better to save money incrementally, and then use that to build additional sources of revenue.

With $1,000 you could probably start a really small business, but it's certainly not going to be any better than just getting a job. And you miss out on useful networking and social experience.

But since you probably won't have to spend much to look professional, I'd suggest investing the rest in 50% preferred stock and an array of index funds and ETFs. It's relatively simple to learn, offers steady returns, and offers a monthly dividend. I recommend learning the market yourself as this is pretty important to becoming successful, but no one will hassle you for hiring an adviser to do the heavy work for you.

One last word of advice is to keep things realistic and safe. Things like Forex and Crypto are appealing because it doesn't require much capital to get into, but it's very high risk, so it's not something you'd want to do outside of as a full-time professional. Try and expect a very modest, but respectable return on investment. If you ever plan to start a company it will be something you know about well, and you want to have the capital for that on hand when you finally know what you're going to do.

1000 bucks is nothing
Keep it in your bank account for emergencies

Stick it in a dedicated savings account, don't worry about the interest rate it will make no fucking difference, grow it by focusing on how to squeeze more out of your paycheck or wherever you get money and putting aside what you can in the account, what comes next you will have worked out when it's time.

Buy 1000 $1 meals and then give them to that poor.

They're counting on you.

>>1943603
bitcoin

Is there any way you can get in trouble with the law using Robinhood? Im a n00b

>>1944207
Not filing you taxes? Insider trading?

>>1944150
> banks offering tenths of a % interest in savings account.

Probably find more money while stuffing it into your couch pillows.

>>1943603
100 pairs of kneepads