you wake up one morning to find $1 million in your bank

60% Index Funds
20% Stocks
10% REIT's
05% Other
05% Cash

invest in bitcoin, and live the rest of my days as a Pump-n-dump lord

>>1555178
Buy a million dollars worth of bitcoins because that shit is gonna get reversed.

Wait for 6 months without touching it.
If I don't, and the bank realizes their mistake, the cops will be hunting me down.
Happened to a Chinese girl in my country, she spent it all then fled back to her home country

>>1555178
take a plane ride to Belize

take it all out and buy a mansion on an acreage because the bank is going to realize that they gave the money to the wrong guy as they every so often do

they are going to ask for it back.

Laugh and enjoy retirement in Belize whilst the Canadian/US government scream at you to return to go to jail but with no extradition treaty they cant do shit

sip pina coladas and fuck hot central american women

>>1555263
dumbass woman she shouldve escaped first THEN used/withdrawn the money. Why do women always screw up the order of things

>>1555178
i'd wonder what happened to the rest of my money

1) cashiers checks $10k at a time
2) buy several flawless diamonds
3) swallow diamonds or mount in cheap $10 pendant
4) fly to Brazil
5) cash out in Brazil
6) fuck every Brazilian chick in the country over 13 years old
7) buy weed plantation
8) workers on plantation get free accommodation, booze, weed and whores (and usual benefits) and earn triple minimum wage.
9) get cosmetic surgery and fake IDs up the ass
10) no extradition treaty, nigga

>>1555283
heres where your plan falls part

>6) get brought in by Brazilian police
>7) turns out theres IS A extradition treaty that was signed in 1964
>8) woops! now in jail

>>1555283
11) get murdered

Buy buttcoins to make it disappear.

>>1555178
>pay taxes
>broke

Spend some on stocks, some on real estate, and some more into Forex.

Whatever's leftover I'm probably gonna use to try and open a business, dunno what yet though.

2 chicks at the same time

>>1555188
This.

>>1555286
The magistrate would have to prove a crime "in absentia".
In this case, >>1555263
The magistrates said it may not be a crime, bit you would owe the money.
That's why I would be spending like a mofo, because YOLO.
Also, I'm a britbong, you must be burgerlander.
I was thinking of Ronnie Biggs, the Great Train Robber, who fled to Brazil and avoided capture by the UK, but I just Googled it, and it turns out, that in the late 90's, a treaty was finalized.
It's still not a concrete one though, there are quote a few caveats, and a good lawyer may be able to argue it qualifies as a political crime or something, which is not an extraditable offence in Brazil.

I'm still gonna change my ID and get cosmetic surgery. Remember it took a whole year for that bitch to get caught, bit she was renting and buying handbags and shit, FFS.

I'll be hiring dodgy 'Better Call Saul' lawyers and asset allocation specialists (AKA money launderers)

>>1555287
>get murdered
Why? I'll be hiring bodyguards, security, creating work and wealth.

>>1555298
You don't need a million for that dude.
I can hire a duo for about £200 or less.

I'd wire it to Hilary Clinton while masturbating furiously

[spoiler]I'm with Her[/spoiler]

>>1555298
it's from office space, good movie

>>1555345
I know, and my line was too..

>>1555319
kek still wouldn't help her win