HELP I somehow got an internship in a large Bank in the trading

Impress them by buying potcoin

Outsource every task they give you to china and hire interns yourselves.

It is stupid to even try. Even when somehow you get the job.
You could have had your job for years, and then one day the company does an audit and Wham! you’re fired. It happens. I read about it in the news it even happens to CEOs

>>1551919
its just a 4 month internship

>>1551971
Why are you asking help about an internship? By the time they find out (if ever), you'll be well on your way to an actual job. Study now so you have some preparation as to what expectations are.

>>1551905
Learn excel and VBA as fast as you can, do you dumbass

Protip: no one expects interns to know jack shit, so don't worry.

Learn excel well enough that you don't need a mouse (force yourself to use shortcuts. Look up Martin Shkrelis finance tutorials, his excel is ridiculously fluid), and learn VBA, it's essentially programming for normies.

Learn as much as you can about trading, and prepare some vague backup stories about those challenges. Don't mention them and people won't ask though.

From what I've seen of interns in tech, for what it's worth, if people like you they'll do It lot for you, if they see you as some spoiled, demanding dick then they'll hate you. Be humble, eager to help, and generally be a Bro and you never know what kind of favours you can call in later.

Good luck you idiot, you may just have memed your way into a six-figure career, you just need to last through this and you're on your way

>>1552038
This.

Obviously you need to cancel this weekend's anime watchfest and study the shit out of some VBA tutorials.

Tomorrow you need to go all TVTropes on Investopedia, clicking on links and reading about shit. Knowing what stocks, limit orders, candles, put and call options, Bloomberg terminals, value investing, momentum investing, bonds, bond yields, credit default swaps, commodities, COMEX, NYSE, NASDAQ, and quant/algo trading are should be enough.

Once you have that down cold, spend the balance of time on learning to network and schmooze.

You're only there 4 months so you won't be given heavy work or expected to know much beyond the above. Prove you're not a shitheel, get to know people, and you'll be fine.

>>1552221
This

DRILL investopedia, it's the best place for learning financial terms quickly

Download the bloomberg app and constantly read when you have free time, are taking a shit, etc. Get yourself in the know about finance and what's going on in the world.

Take your dad's suit to a tailor so you don't look like a 1970s drug dealer. If you are short on shekels do the same with some suits from a thrift store

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3KB, 448x357px

>mfw I actually have professional, extensive experience in VBA

>>1552218
ive already looked at basic VBA since i got the position, and ive watched a lot of documentaries until now. the only trading ive EVER done was on that shitty wall street magnate app where i am down 40%. thank you for the advice

>>1552221
got it, its just beyond fucking overwhelming at the moment but thanks

>>1552228
just downloaded the app, thank you

>>1552230
>1970's drug dealer
funny you mention that because my suit had pinstripes too, the really fat spaced out ones

but im not that broke and already invested in a quite good fitting suit

>>1552258
i know. its beyond me how i got into this

>>1552281
im op, id changed no clue why

>>1552218
btw it starts in almost exactly a month. is this realistically enough time to get on speed with this?

>>1552290
>btw it starts in almost exactly a month. is this realistically enough time to get on speed with this?

Yes, learning VBA is doable in that time. I already knew a bunch of programming languages before learning VBA for my job, and it took me only one week to git gud at it.

Practice, practice, practice, google what you don't know, or try to work around things you don't know how to do.

You can do it OP.

>>1552290
Yeah, should be doable, but you need to smash it.

Think of Excel like learning piano - the movements need to become muscle memory, so you don't even need to think to move around the sheet. Again, look up Shkreli to get up an idea of what god-tier Excel looks like. You don't need that level going in but learn your shit anyway. Look up Chandoo for examples of things like vlookups, if statements, etc. He's a pajeet with a knack for explaining excel.

Again, you're an intern, so you don't need to be Gordon Gecko, but you need to have some clue what's going on, so just keep reading, learn to do financial modelling, that kind of stuff

It's doable m8, you just need to eat, sleep and breathe finance for a few weeks