so im going to lie on my resume, the only real experiance i

That much of a lie is too much.

You generally want to just exaggerate it, not give yourself almost half a decades experience at a job that you were fired at

>>1391380
i tried saying i only had 2 years but its just not enough

>>1391385

It's just that you run the risk of getting blacklisted when you do major lies

If 2 wouldn't do it, then 4 probably won't either.

What other options do you have?

>>1391408

"What other options do you have?"

exactly, thats why im lying i have no options, my work history is fuckkked

>>1391414
We're telling you what to do. Don't lie about having 4 year of experience, holy shit. You might be able to swing 2 and chances are you just haven't applied enough or put enough effort into finding a job, spreading your CV, contacting recruiters etc.

But to be honest you shouldn't lie about even that much, and you should be applying to all entry-level positions or even ones that say 2 years experience or about 1 year more than you've had. Employers do look at people with slightly less experience than they need/request. Again, chances are you haven't applied to nearly enough positions. You need to do it for a few hours per day, a few times a week.

Kill your parents and claim life insurance?

>>1391370
Pls tell us more about your breakdown.

Was it related those fucking bugs under your skin? Are you going to do anything about those or what? Yes, we can see them

>>1391370
>schizophrenic breakdown

you're screwed for life either way

Start buying kneepads. Or go work in a retail bank. They'll hire anyone who's not a retard.

>>1391370
Do you have a bad criminal record? Yeah what ^ said, try Bank Telling, then move to Mortgages when they trust you.

Shocking to see that a finance degree can't get you a job, is it because you were too mentally ill to get internships? Your parents love you and I am sure they will give you medical attention you need so you can be healthy.

I would suggest you get on drugs and explain that you were fired because of a mental problem, get a note from your physician and bring it to the interview, say that you are being treated by trained professionals and are on drugs to combat it.

If you need 2 years experience then make it up through Deli... IF you can get cashier experience then that is enough to be a teller.

You need to just prove that customer service is EVERYTHING to you. Caps needed. I lost every interview I ever did because I blew all the CS questions. You might have to grind at the grocery store for a good solid year to get that experience dealing with the public.

All of this is assuming you haven't been able to do investments or Edward Jones which pays better than Teller or Mortgage Officer. But I think my plan will work.

>>1391694
This. Just move into retail banking. Its literally a good career. Its much more secure than IB and with retail you can eventually move into commercial banking which is where most bankers work. Retail banking is very laid back and promotion are abundant for those with college degrees. A lot of people who work there are high school grads who can't write or do basic math.