I have literally zero (0) actual "work" expereince,

Its not like you'll have another choice, just do it.
Looks like you're starting way to late.

>>1386817
Start bullshitting and padding out your resume. I had the job expetience but no degree or skills i said I did yet I listed them. Still got called for a couple interviews. Whats going to be important is not so much whats on ur resume, its how you can back up your bullshit and do well during your interview

>>1386817
Lie.

Add some volunteer work. Add in a fictional internship and use your uncle/neighbour/grandmother as your reference.

And lie convincingly.

Do people really put their GPA on their resumes?

Similarly related,

What's a good "resume maker" website? I got fired last week and realized my old one (just bullet points in MS Word, 2 pages worth) is complete crap despite getting me hired at 3 other jobs. I have a ton of work experience and certifications relevant to the jobs I'm applying for, the problem is "expressing" them

Charity work

Go on meetup.com, go to business and industry meetups and network. Get involved in something, anything and show your enthusiasm.

Make business cards. The business is whatever interests you.

>>1389013
It used to be a lot easier a few months ago, when people posted their resumes en masse and some of them had really good layouts. So you could copy a part from that resume, a part from that one etc...

Don't know about any resume making websites though. "Just use your imagination" lol or type resume templates into google and check a few dozen out to see how they look.

eh, honestly looks pretty good to me for internships.

>>1386817
Is that your resume? Or just a template?

>>1389191
obviously template lad

>>1386824
That's not going to fly.

Unless I'm hiring someone who really doesn't need experience, I'm going to verify yours. If you give me experience that just can't be verified, I'll hire someone else (and there's plenty of people out there looking for jobs.)

>>1389028
>Get involved in something, anything and show your enthusiasm.

I have no enthusiasm left in me.

File: 2002_the_count_of_monte_cristo_012.jpg (73KB, 646x808px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 646x808px

>>1386817

Dude, lie.

>>1389256

This is why someone who is smart will ask a few of his /biz/ friends who own businesses IRL to play along with his lie. I did this in college just for the free college credit.

>"Hey Dan can you sign this thing saying I interned at your automotive resell shop managing your marketing campaigns?"
>"Sure thing buddy"

Bam, 4 free college credits and I can put it on my resume if I wanted to.

>>1389013

The WSO template is good.

I used that one but edited some heating, added new sections etc. Nice and clean.