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In about a months time I'll be 23 graduating with an engineering degree in Canada. I have spent 6-24 hours each day of the past 15 years playing video games. The few times I've worked on things by myself I've done them wrong over and over without realizing what I'm doing wrong. I have a poor gpa, no work experience, no internship, and poor relations with my profs. Killing myself is an option but I want to give my parents some money or some happiness that their only off spring didn't become a failure because they have done so much for me. I've heard that I may be suffering from ADHD and should consult a doctor to be tested. Most days I can't get out of bed because I'm filled with regret from all of the mistakes I've made and end up just playing more video games. The majority of people that i know that jobs lined up or are searching for jobs while I'm putting off re-writing my resume to play more games. I applied for 4 jobs while most have applied for over 20 at this point and was rejected after my only interview. I had delusions of grandeur before but I'm just a loser.
Is there anything I can do or should I just accept I can do nothing for myself or my parents and put a 12 gauge slug through my worthless brain?
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Nothing you can do bite the bullet
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Is there no way to fix a broken mind?
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>>1145164
Living in the past creates depression, and living in the future creates anxiety. Don't take medication because nothing is wrong with you. Ignore your grief of letting down your parents because your parents should never be disappointed with you, and if they are then ignore them for being bad unsupported parents(since they have done so much to help you I doubt they bad people, they just want to see you succeed). As for video games, here is a little red pill to maybe help you take the fun out of them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWtvrPTbQ_c You can't enjoy something if you analyze why you do it.
Now you are pushing yourself to hard to succeed, while succession is somewhat out of your hands in the approach you are taking. You can't just "I'm going to become a millionaire if if do X,Y,Z" That doesn't happen like that. You are just realizing this because you are finishing a goal that doesn't have an immediate reward as in video games, which is why you are clinging to them. You where told your whole life the path of success is education, even though there are many other forms of power. You my friend are just realizing you where lied to.
How else can I help you?
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>>1145194
I know that video game's are skinners boxes and my parents have told me all my life that education (a good degree) is a great way to an ok job not htat it'll make me a millionaire. I've just been doing this for so long that I can't even stop myself. Even right now that I am debating suicide and should head to sleep to get to my labs on time tomorrow I am about to start playing a game... I've conditioned myself for so long yet I need to be on a computer to do any of my assignments yet I am too weak willed and just play games instead just like now. Can I break my self conditioning?
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>>1145204
Kill yourself
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>>1145204
Yes but maybe you are conditioning yourself wrong. Instead of quitting video games, only play if you achieve a goal. I use to play Battlefield and between games I'd do as many pushups before the next game loads and try to either match or beat the last set(or do 10-20 knee length because I was tired). So for you, starting tomorrow, apply to one job and do as many pushups as you can, then spend the rest of the day gaming, Do not game until you have applied to any job and do the pushups. Then the next day, increase the numbers.
Use your weakness as a strength.
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>>1145231
So now I should apply for jobs?
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>>1145204
so you know exactly what you need to do, but you dont do it. either accept the lifestyle and get some shit job with zero commitments or just shut the fuck up already
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>>1145164
Honestly man I'd suggest ending it. It really does not get any better. You know you will never truly be happy. You should spare yourself the embarrassment and end it now.
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