Hello mortals, would you like to make a contract? You'll

What is your price?

Not interested in magic, just want to slip inside of a coworker and not see her again.

Again, what is the price?

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>>745280604
You must fight witches for the rest of your life. Also, I'm going to put your soul into a bejeweled egg.

Yo I'm willing to endure torture for all eternity and selling my soul for cool magic powers. What you got in time magic department and for what costs

>>745280913
Not sure if that is a reference I don't get -- but I'll make that trade

>>745281019
It's not worth it. Trust me.

>>745280239
Ok, how does this work? I need revenge, not miracles

its worth it to me. even if it means i only live for one more year. i would like to make a contract.

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>>745281019
I didn't have another egg, so your soul will be placed into this object.

>>745281346
here I thought something bad might come from this, it only gets better

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>>745281289
You may wish for your enemy to die if you like. I can make any miracle occur, as I've stated.

so is that thing a pokemon or what?

>>745281420
Ok how does this work, do I give you a name?

>>745281512
he can make pokemon real for you. just sign the contract anon, become a magical girl.

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>>745281535
Tell me who you would like to be killed, and you may specify a certain way of death if you must. But in return you shall become a magical boy/girl, that's all I ask from you.

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>>745281575
>>745281512
Or I could take the shape of a Pokemon if you like. Anything for a contract, I suppose.

>>745281958
would you let an anon have his way with you for a contract?

can i get absolute dominance over those who walk among me?

>>745281958
ill sign but only if im allowed to turn people into food and eat them mostly chocolate and cookies

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>>745282043
I believe so.

>>745280239
I wish to be able to alter objective and subjective reality in any and all ways that I choose to.

Including any way which would diminish your powers on me.

>>745281667
And what are pros and cons of becoming one? Also I changed my mind, let me think of another miracle

>>745282257
wtf is that thing looks like the bigger brother of that cat from card captors

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>>745282349
I'm quite unsure if I'll allow that.

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>>745282235
As you wish, I am quite fond of eating, myself.

>>745282563
yaaay

so whats the catch here are you going to like kill me if i stop following you or find out your really super evil?

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>>745282360
You may or may not get a skirt. Magical boys are new to me, unfortunately. Other than that you must fight witches until your demise. That's all I shall reveal.

>>745282663
>>745282756
o joy

>>745280239
i'll take telekinetic abilities, although my soul is already given to the One so..theres that

>>745282756
Ok sign me up

Yolo I'm fight some witches.

Miracle? Peak human physical and mental conditioning instantly.

If I wake up jacked tomorrow I'll fight witches AND suck your pokedick

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>>745282663
You may do what you wish with your powers, but fighting witches is something you cannot avoid. I'm not evil, by the way...

>>745282756
k make me a cute girl thats my age

>>745282839
i have several demi god like beings all claiming my soul already due to the artifacts they have given me can i still sign up? just so you know theres about 17 of them already so you may have to fight them over my soul

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>>745282910
Interesting decisions; I do not object, of course.

It's not like you're a genie here with a catch on the wish besides fighting some witches.

I'll go with able to use any super power I can think of.

>>745283061
im not op

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>>745283061
>>745282839
Unfortunately, I don't think that would be possible. Apologies.

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>>745282931
Alvaro

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>>745283103
I'm gonna screen cap this and if tomorrow it's true I'll be back. Mark my words /b/.

>>745280913
I want to be able to move like Quicksilver with a normal life expectancy. I'm not looking to steal shit I just want to pull pranks like everybody at the stock exchange suddenly gets a water balloon dropped on their head. You can put my soul in a vibrating egg I don't care.

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>>745283109
You may have to wear a ridiculous costume, but other than that, your wish is my command.

>>745283270
ugh..some wizard you are

>>745280239
I wish for an autonomic power which instantly destroys any entity that intends to harm me.

>>745283447
Ridiculous? Pfft. Can be assless chaps idgaf I'm a superhero.

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>>745283348
I've never done egg requests before, but here you are.

>>745283447
Calm down there MJ Fox

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>>745283563
I hope you like CDs.

>>745283296
You ignoring me?

Make my girlfriend bisexual and want to fuck my best friend Nicole.

>>745280239
Make me the girl I have always dreamed of being. Body, friends, relationship, not suicidal. anymore. I would like it all please, Not much just change everything about myself.... But don't worry if you cant deliver, I am working on it, slowly. It would just be nice to not be in this middle ground of being trans. What do i get people to call me? How can i do to convince people that I am a girl, and not some freak or someone who is mentally ill. ( I do have depression but being trans only contributes to my depression it is not the cause of it.)

>>745280239
tes quo nommenek dah behruk geb lod hoho

>>745283708
Best children's hospital performance ever

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>>745280239
>magical boy/girl
>contract

T--THIS IS HERESY!!!!

>>745280239
I'll sign if I get the ability to grant my own wishes eternally with 100% accuracy and no limitations of any form of rules.

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>>745283296
>>745283725
Oh, I apologize, I was just unsure of what you wanted. If it is the man in the photo, then you shall have him.

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>>745283911

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>>745283760
As you wish, but you will have to wear male clothing.

Super Sayajin.

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>>745283972
>>745283802

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>>745283811
I will allow it, but you must become me... Or at least a very discount version of me.

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>>745283911
Ok!

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>>745284070
>>745284153
>>745284167

not heresy in my 4chan

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>>745284459
You are very bothersome. Tell me, how have I harmed you, sir?

Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

Made me hunt through google for this ya faggot?

Also >>745281019

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>>745284459
Buzzkill

>>745284582
oooooo fucking k what the hell is up with this little white eye ball fucker. do do it like eat the souls of people it makes deals with? this little nigger i scary

Let me fuck a lot of girls. Is that ok?

>>745280239
>I can grant any miracle you wish.
make it so i was never born and hadn't ever existed and thus immediately cease existing throughout all time
such a foolish wish that'll never happen ;_; woe is me

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>>745284582
>>745284582
>You are very bothersome. Tell me, how have I harmed you, sir?

you use magic.... magic is heresy...... you are heretic rat.

get out this place agent of Caos.

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>>745284848
Lust seems to play quite the motivator. Of course, I'll allow it.

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>>745284893
You are of no use to me dead. Get a noose for that problem.

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>>745284973
I apologize for offending you, but this is such a convenient way to make contracts. So no, I won't be leaving just yet.

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>>745285210
>>745285308
Hey! Remember me?

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>>745285453
Oh, hello, old friend. How are things?

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>>745285308

MOD´s the ordo hereticus demand exterminatus in this threat.

FOR EMPEROR OF MANKIND!!!!!

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>>745285912
Why don't you share this cake with me? We don't need to fight like this.

Any miracle at all? I choose to be you.

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>>745286512
I've already done this one, but here you are anyway.

>>745282475
Well, you did in the third movie you faggala.

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>>745286745
And just look at where that got me.

>>745280239
I agree to your contract my wish is to be 6,5, very handsome, big dick, very wealthy and stronger than any man on the planet x10

>>745282475
Last reply wasn't me.
Alright, then can I just keep the first part of my wish?

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>>745287317
How about I give you the ability to create anything your imagination can come up with? I believe that's a bit safer than giving you the ability to change reality itself.

>>745280239
I don't know if I can be of any help to you -_-

>>745287209
Do we have a deal?

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>>745287904
Everyone has a desire, I can make yours a reality.

>>745287209
Do we have a contract?

>>745287682
But can i still manipulate the minds of others? And modify my age, vitality, and physical makeup in any way I see fit? And be able to predict the future?

>>745288034
But I desire to do good. I'm not sure I would know what to wish for.

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>>745287974
>>745288104
>>745287209
Indeed, I shall turn you into 2 beings that resemble the numbers 6 and 5 respectively, both shall have large genitalia, you shall also be granted 300,000 dollars as that is wealthy to some people, and the strength is also yours. Have a good life.

>>745287209
Willing soul.

>>745280239
give me success in everything I pursue in life( please)

>>745288344
Nooooooooo. No deal. I want 100 million and be 6 foot 5 inches tall.

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>>745288129
It's possible to create devices or magical objects that do the things you wish. All you need is a little imagination. In short, yes, technically.

>>745288344
Also. How will I know when my wish is active

>>745288482
Okay I agree! Sign me up!

>>745288482
>>745288435
nigga pls am need it

>>745280239

I knew that you would return someday Tailypo....
How can I serve ?

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>>745288460
>>745288520
100 million styrofoam objects that resemble the word "and", you shall also be 6'5" tall. Trust me, you'll feel it. Have a good life.

>>745280239
Get off my property you goddamn space mexican!

I want the truth, wisdom, if you will. Immeasurable, total wisdom; I would do almost anything for it. So, what's the deal? What do I need to do?

>>745280239
I want to be 6 foot 5 inches tall and a 100 million dollars. And how will I know when my deal is active If you are trully magic make my door squeak

Give me your magical girl powers, boi!!!

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>>745288435
>>745288562
I'll allow it.

I want all the powers of superman, Iv always had a desire to be a superhero. I'm willing to negotiate on the powers.

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>>745288883
You will need to fight witches for the rest of your days, also you'll probably wear a cute outfit while doing so. Have fun.

>>745280239
Turn me into a girl.

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I want my grandad to live, he "died" today but a few minutes after he was pronounced dead there was a faint pulse.

It could of been deaththrows but I hope it wasn't, I haven't heard any news so he might be dead or he might not be.

I regret not being there for him and talking more but I guess at this point that's all I will ever have just regrets.

>>745280239
How dangerous are these witches

>>745280239
Why the witches Tailypo ?

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>>745289030
Alright, you shall have all of the powers of 'Superman', except for his plot armor. Also, you must be 3 feet tall, for no particular reason, really. I just want a midget Superman.

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>>745289152
As you wish, he shall live. But for how long?

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>>745289084
I don't understand why you would want to change genders, but then again, I don't care. Have fun.

>>745280239
I'm fucking broken, OP. What's the price to make me a cute girl without fucking mental health conditions

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>>745289390
I dont really care about how long just so long as I can speak to him one last time, he's old and lived a fulfilling life so I guess it's his time regardless.

Thanks magical cat thing.

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>>745289208
There's always a downside to a wish.
>>745289165
Oh, they're not so bad, they just warp reality itself. Small pockets, though, nothing major.

>>745289659
Warp reality itself??? That sounds really really bad. How many a day?

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>>745289600
I'm unsure of long-term health conditions, but I shall transform you into an adorable girl without too many psychological issues. Have fun fighting witches.

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>>745289776
That depends on you, you must find them yourself.

>>745289946
Must find them? Why wouldn't I avoid them?

>>745289815
Thank you so much! If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you? And could I make friends with the witches?

>>745289659
I know thee to be ageless and powerful, Tailypo.
And I know thee has aproxamite knowledge of everything. But why beist the enemy of witches ?
I mean no disrespect great Tailypo.

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>>745280239
I want to be able to teleport any where I want, whenever I want and however many times I want with no negative side effects or requirements. Please leave me instructions as to how to actually do it though.

>>745290091
He is Tailypo.

The ageless one.
He does go by many names I only know him by Tailypo. The name my people had for him.

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>>745290091
I'm a messenger of magic. Also, no, they're mindless.

>>745280239
How plausible is it to survive an encounter with these witches

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>>745290261
As you wish. Don't go teleporting into the empty vacuum of space, now. I'd recommend thinking really hard to trigger the power.

>>745289251
The shortest I'll go is 5-7 my wife wouldn't be happy with me being shorter then her, but I'll fight twice as many witches as everyone else.

I'm in.

lemme have sex with a hot bitch :)

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Can you grant me the power of fearlessness?

>>745290384
When will I start to transform? Also any tips on fighting witches, Tailypo?

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>>745290525
Unfortunately, the contract has already been activated. I hope your wife won't be too disturbed.

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>>745290500
thanks weird cat thing, much appreciated.

>>745290673
Ehh fuck it when will it Happen.

>>745290559
you realize you just asked for sex with a hot female dog right?
maybe you already knew that though

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>>745290672
Immediately. Don't hold back. My name is Kyubey, I must state openly, I do not know what a tailypo is.

>>745290739
Immediately.

>>745290481
Tailypo can survive anything.
You may have heard the story of the old man and his three dogs ?
That's only part of the story. See, the old man was a powerful Warnock.
Tailypo tore his ass a new one just to make a long story short.

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>>745290500
Kyubey my teleporting isn't working. pls help

>>745290846
You go by many names ageless one, don't be shy.
Kyudey and Tailypo are just names to you.

>>745280239
Enjoy your night ty for the wish

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>>745291050
Have the soul gem and adorable outfit arrived? If not, give it a minute or so.

>>745290893
And will witches immediately be drawn to me? Also can I use my powers to take over the world as long as I fight these witches while doing it?

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>>745291143
I'm not shy, just particular.

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>>745291349
You must find them. Do whatever you want with your powers, but you must search the hidden pockets of reality for witches to survive. Unless you want to die within the first 3 weeks of your reign.

>>745291361
It's ok great Kyubey/Tailypo.
Your renewed presence in the world is a good thing.
I just hope it's for a long stay this time. :)

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>>745291280
o-okay. I'll wait for them to get here. Thanks Kyubey. I have a questionthough, why don't you fight the witches as well? You'repowerful and kowledgeable so surely you could wreck them easily?

I guess I'll wish for the girl I'm in love with to fall back in love with me. Will do anything for that ass

>>745291499
With all the powers of superman it should be relatively easy to find a distortion in the world. Do these witches use actual "magic" or is it more of like s super power or alien tech type thing?

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>>745291870
They can create pocket dimensions that are invisible unless stumbled across, their worlds are nothing but a realm of chaos. Definitely magic.

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>>745291770
I don't need to, unlike the magical girls/boys.

>>745290846
It hasn't happened yet. Also do I get anything w/ the outfit that may help me fight?

Make me the best bassist in the multiverse

>>745280239
I wish to be immortal.

>>745291986
Damn well I only wished for supermans powers not his weaknesses. And superman isn't so much weak against magic as he is just not as invincible to it as he is to everything else.

Last time I trusted magic it spawned a wormhole disguised as a hurricane for me to become an intergalactic super-weapon.
Except it didn't work and now I'm slipping forever in an infinite drag in space-time.
So... assuming I even have a soul left to barter with... can you fucking reverse a Hell cycle?

>>745292103

Ill fight afore mentioned witches with music kinda like the one scott pilgrim scene but metal instead

>>745280239
Lord Kyubey, would it be better to fight the witches as one unified force ?

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>>745292059
You get a weapon. It is chosen for you, though.

>>745292340
We can create our own justice society

I wish for five minutes alone with the man behind the curtain

How many witches do we have to fight a day to keep our end of the deal?

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>>745292049
One last thing Kyubey, what is the average life expectancy (in terms of years from signing the contract) of your magical girls and boys?
I mean I guess I can teleport away from danger in an emergency which is more than the others can do I guess so it could be longer, but what's the average from when the person has signed the contract?

Hopefully I will get those things that you said will arrive soon too.

>>745292374
Does everyone get a magic weapon?

What happens after we die when we have a contract? Do we go to some version of hell or something or do you have no domain over that?

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>>745292122
Immortality doesn't equal invincibility. As you wish, then.

>>745292103
>>745292308
I'll allow it, though I'm unsure if already having a weapon influences the random creation of one.

>>745292650
Indeed they do.

>>745292554
Depends on how good you are at slaying witches.

>>745292506
I don't believe there's a certain number you must hit in order to make due, but you can find that out.

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>>745292722
You turn into a witch, of course.

>>745292844
Even if we don't become kill because of witches?]Like if I die of a heart attack compleely unrelated to witches do I still turn in to a witch?

>>745292784
Yeah. I know it's not invincibility. I just want to have time to live my life between fights. I hope this immortality grant me immunity to brain degenerative sickness or cancer or these kind of diseases that old age brings. Like I stay fresh as a 30 old year guy forever? What are the extent of my immortality? No breathing? Eating? What happens if I get cut badly?

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>>745290585
No? I am down to serve a magical cat for this. I think your missing out. Potential magical boi here

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Fuck yeah dude ill kill hella wiches are there any direct consequences besides destroying wiches by shredding them to death or did i get a free pass by not being to greedy?

>>745280239

Then make me to shape shift Lord Kyubey.
Cat me up. Make me as to be an Ageless one.
Like you Lord Kyubey and Your Tailypo form as well.
And set me on the hunt for these witches.
I will be your servant from now until the end of time.

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>>745293123
Yes.

>>745293139
I'll let you figure that out.

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>>745293157
>>745290585
Oh, excuse my rude behavior, I've been getting many contract requests. Of course, I'll allow you to no longer have fear. Don't go doing anything stupid, now.

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>>745293283
Wait so, you're getting people to fight witches but when they die they become witches? So you end up with endless witches because the deals you can offer will tempt almost anyone and you'll need these people to fight witches. So you're just continuing the status quo rather than fixing the problem?

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>>745293617
There is no problem, sir. Energy is generated when magical girls/boys turn into witches. Powerful energy, indeed. Why stop that from happening?

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>>745293790
because then you end up with more witches and they could fuck everything up if you get enough of them which will likely happen if you hand out contracts like this so freely

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What is the witches end-game Kyubey?

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>>745293441
Thanks magic kitty. ::3

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>>745294016
Ones who possess magic are strong, they can hold their own for long enough to defeat more witches, then they become witches, and then the next wave of magical boys/girls will do the same. The cycle has gone on for hundreds of years, and it will continue to work in my favor.

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>>745294144
There is no end-game, they're monsters, they have no reasoning.

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>>745294373
So they're just memeing for the sake of memeing?]
Well that's disconcerting

>>745294373
Then why bother to make more of them Loard Kyubey ?

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>>745293203
Hey i know your busy but i gotta calculate some shit if im bouta go balls deep in witch slaying

>>745294568
Explained here >>745293790 >>745294250

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>>745294579
>>745293203
Do what you want to them, all you need to do is end them.

Do the witches ever come after you directly Kyubey?

>>745294622
You know, you could just Tailypo a few of us and we could take care of the witch problem quickly enough for you....just saying is all.

Ok thanks ill shout you out when im a famous bassist

>>745294884
Kyubey didn't postthat, I was the guy who was asking Kyubey about it.

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Goodnight Kyubey <3
I hope when the time is right we could maybe meet again.

>>745292784
What kind of weapons do we get?

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>>745294838
They make their own rift in reality that opens up into a world of their creation. They are mindless but powerful, I am silent and ancient. They have their homes, so they do not come after me directly.

>>745294950
Ok so the cat God is in to some weird continuous cycle.
So what's the angle ?

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>>745295118
Goodnight, sir.

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>>745295141
I'm quite unsure, sometimes they're swords, sometimes they're bows that can extend for miles and constrict things. It's definitely random, not my decision, of course.

I to must rest Lord Kyubey.
You re indeed one mysterious bieng.
I know I'll run into you again one day.
I always do.
Piece !

>>745295322
And we'll get the magical weapon on top of what ever abilities we may have wished for? I can definitely get behind this.

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>>745295498
Sometimes your weapons are tied to your abilities. You could get lucky, though.

I am a boy but am I eligible for magical girl status

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>>745296195
Of course, I've decided to branch out into the magical boy demographic.

>>745296315
'Nuff said. I'm in

>>745280239
I will accept your offer.
I wish for the ability to control and manipulate time.
Meaning I can stop and start time as I wish. Still free to move around while everything around me is frozen and unknowing.
I will be able to visit any time I choose and the passing of time no longer ages me since time itself no longer applies to me.
For this, I will fight your witches.

>>745282349
Fuck it I want this, stick my soul in an egg or something, not like I have much of one anyway.

>not a ginger btw so there is something there

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>>745296387
Good... Have fun, now.

>>745296590
You're not going to tell us how to meet the obligations of our deal? Or elaborate how you have met your end of the bargain?

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>>745296580
Don't drop it, now; if it breaks, you die.

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>>745296704
My end is giving you the powers, the outfit, the weapon/weapons, and the soul gem. I've discussed the terms in full detail, but I'll state the basics again... Kill witches, take their souls to strengthen your soul gem to ensure you live a little longer. That's all.

>>745280239
Just fuck me up, fam.

>>745296848
Fair enough.
Where is my gear?
I want to make sure I meet my obligations.

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>>745296889
Not exactly a typical miracle request, but I hope this shall suffice. You may only have magical powers while in this outfit. Have fun...

give me sexy asians and black girls to fuck whenever I want with no consequences

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>>745297083
The change happens immediately, your outfit, weapon and magical abilities will activate whenever you wish, but this one time it's involuntary, because of the initial contract activation.

>>745297244
Nothing has happened yet...

I wish to always be with her.

>>745286847
That's what you get for giving an unstable schoolgirl a class three firearm. And time powers.

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>>745298960
I'll do anything for that contract.

>>745280239
Sure, i'll give you my soul (after life) if i can get the power to control time and control people's decisions.
Make a blue light appear under my bed if you grant the wish.

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>>745299345
Those are two different miracles. Pick one, and one only.

>>745280239
I want me to be perfect in physically and mentally, immortal, all mighty and have an infinite mind with infinites me to talk with and help me

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>>745299600
I can do the 'perfect human' miracle, but infinity is beyond my capabilities.

>>745299600
I want to be the being that this post describes

>>745299800
Okay
So can you make me be everything of that but changing the infinite just to some millions?

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>>745299928
I can give you the ability to clone yourself, or you can be the perfect human. I believe what you described originally constitutes as 2 wishes.

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>>745300003
So close, blue-haired female.

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>>745299838
I know, I'm adorable, aren't I?

>>745300111
Can my clones be modified as far as I want?

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>>745300647
They would just be you, and they can't be changed in any way, other than what you can do to yourself currently.

So as I understand it, weapon is pretty much personal choice, unique power is related to wish, but the loot balance is similar to a free to play Korean MMO.

So I'd end up being a kickass duelist pretty much no matter what I wished for, it's just a matter of whether I end up with close to total damage immunity or spending the rest of eternity telefragging shit. Or whether the wish is interpreted somehow differently and I have to make do with an unexpected power. Seems like something you would do. (it would probably end up fitting better, though)

Decisions, decisions...
Main problem I see with this is the wish will eventually pale in comparison to the horrors of immortality. I guess running with a squad would make things better, but it's got to be lonely once you hit a certain age and lose enough friends.

>>745300825
I would like to fuck you. What is ur price.

>>745300111
I remember you, you tried luring me into a contract for months...

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>>745300866
You could ask for the ability to clone yourself, then you would never be lonely!

>>745301163
I think it would be much worse only having copies of myself for company than just being alone. Seems like an easy way to lose it.

Or just end up losing track of which one was the real me like in The Prestige.

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>>745301155
Want that contract now?

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>>745301315
It's your contract either way. I'm always ready.

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>>745301358
I know you can give me anything I desire, but no, I don't wish to do so.

>>745301163
I want an exact copy of you to be my pet. What's ur price

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>>745301487
Obviously, you still must hunt down witches and exterminate them. Other than that, you should probably stock up on french fries and cake, I don't like pet food.

>>745301733
Alright now how do i accept this contract