Best school stories? I'll start. >be me >16, junior

File: 1503953537840s.jpg (2KB, 125x99px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 125x99px

>>745272491
>be me
>8th grade
>this one kid
>never grew up
>call him peter
>peter was not that bad at school
>until french class (i'm canadian)
>talks back to the teacher
>targets specific people for his jokes
>guess who was one of his targets
>my only friends were these 3 nerdy girls
>friends call me gay to this day
>bugs me about them
>moves on from them
>he falls in love
>girl tells him to fuck off
>later
>looks under a girls desk
>does that whistle when you see something hot
>mfw he gets all the girl

>be me
>13yr
>public school
>I was in a group of friends who fight among themselves every day

>someday when they all go to recess i stayed and take their (pic related)
>we have everything sorted by subjects
>i started to mix them up in one (pic related) like a mixing cards pro from cassino
>finally i put a few pages from my shit in the front page

>when they come from recess the first thing the kid does is find my pages
>"hey anon why i have your pages? lol"
>wtf men why?
>dunno

>the rest of the kids rellice what happens
>shitstorm.jpg
>no one knows wtf happen but everyone starts blaming
>the classroom turned into a wwe
>all get suspended
>no one knows that it was me


yeah shit ingles i dont care

File: shit.jpg (149KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 1200x900px

>>745274233
i dont even know how is this called in your shit language

Love autistic moments like that. I got a few, one really stuck to my head:
>be me, 18, IT class
>we were doing tests, those who finished could leave or fuck around on the computers
>everyones focused, the room is silent, you could only hear people tapping their keyboards
>this one weird kid finished his test quite early
>still like 25mins remaining of class
>he raises his hand to get teachers attention
>"excuse me, am I allowed to go on the internet?"
>teacher drops a quick yes, obviously cba with all the tests she has to check from other classes
>I mean, we were in 12th grade by then, who tf even asked questions like these?
>anyway, same kid then raises his hand again after a minute
>"but.. but it's kinda like a forum. Where people post their opinions on different subjects. Am I allowed to post there too?"
>awkward silence for a lil bit, everyone is confused af
>you could hear people trying to hold their sides
>I couldn't even laugh at this point from all the autism
>by teacher looks I could see she's even more confused
>doesn't even answer the question, just nods
>finish my test few minutes after, still thinking about the autismo kid
>check his screen as I walk by
>kid has 4chan opened, browsing /b/ and /o/
>got lost for a second, made me re-think my life
>what am I doing on /b/ then? Does that put me on the same level of autism as he is?
>ohwell, had keks walking back home

>>745274432
That's a binder

Alright, OP here. Time for this next story. I might have to divide it into two or more parts.

>be me
>15, freshman year
>in the middle of the year we get a new student
>first day he comes in with a yamaka on
>he comes off as annoying and loud
>note my school specializes in social skills training
>his first impression isn't too good, but I decide not to judge
>try to be his friend, help him improve his behavior
>eventually get tired of his shit
>he's just too loud, self-absorbed, and wants to be black very desperately
>school year ends, I'm happy to get a break from him
>next year starts
>fuck, he's still here
>he gets worse as the year goes on
>begins poorly rapping in the hallways
>thinks he's a rapper, calls himself "Jewpac" because someone else made a joke about it
>he still gets pissed if anyone else makes a jew joke
>one day I am particularly pissed off at him because he's acting like an ass
>I want to yell at him, so I devise a plan to do so.
>I know how to play the system at this school
>get my friend to make a jew joke around him
>he starts whining about it
>it's time
"You're such a fucking hypocrite! You make jew jokes about yourself all the time, and when anyone else does you bitch about it! Fucking dick!"
>teacher hears
"You know, he's right."
>success
>get called to counselor's office
>explain what happened
>get away with it on that account as well
>feelsgoodman.jpg

This was the story of my first victory against the menace that plagued our school for a year and a half. Part 2 coming right up.

>>745273851
my nigga talking about Peter pan?

>>745275458
Cringe isn't really fun to read.

Stop, autist.

>>745275458
Part 2

>the menace, despite constant lecturing, continues to get worse
>he begins hitting on all of the girls, and even a teacher
>he also begins manipulating the autistic children
>there is little I can do at this point
>I feel as though I'll just have to put up with it
>one time he even tried to get an autistic kid to fight the haitian fucktard mentioned in my earlier story because he was threatening him with voodoo
>then one day it happens
>the menace is picking on one of my friends, calling him fat and shit
>another one of my friends is sitting next to him
>5'11, strong build, planning on going into the marines
>he tells the menace to stop picking on my friend
"I'm not afraid of you!"
>you'reafuckingidiot.mp4
"I'm not afraid of you either."
>the menace backs down and walks away
>he runs back and pushes the future marine
>he begins running away
>marine friend launches Operation Burning Yamaka
>charges towards him
>traps his head between his elbows
>starts playing pinball with his head between his elbows.
>I'm jumping up and down giggling like a little girl
>he begins walking away, having defeated the menace
>the idiot attempts to hit him again
>weakly punches him
>marine friend turns around again
>punches his mouth with such force that his braces come off
>throws him into the wall with such force that the lights flicker
>I'm in awe and joy
>I return the the class, hugging my friends in celebration
>as the menace leaves, he has blood running out of his mouth
>one of the autistic kids in dead seriousness asks him
"Hey, are you Dracula?"
>the menace goes super sayin, starts screaming and punching the walls
>head administrator comes out and yells at him to get back inside
>one of the best school days of my life

File: 1502573238847.jpg (5KB, 250x224px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 250x224px

Bump

I know OP irl and I can attest to Jewpac's wiggertry.
>Nearing the end of 2nd year of Jewpac
>Due to circumstance this is the first day my dad is driving me to the bus stop
>I have told my dad countless stories of this wigger
>"It can't be that bad, Anon."
>reminds me not to hit him
>Him and he are at the stop
>This kid's dad pulls up in a Ferrari with his kid
>Both have Yamakas. it's obvious they're that kind of Jew
>Both have the same freckled, shit eating grin
>Jewpac looks at my dad's Chevy Tahoe and scoffs
>My dad looks at me and says
"Anon, you were right all along. I haven't even spoken to this kid yet and I wanna punch him in the fucking face."
>I love my dad so much

>>745274233
What the heck are you even trying to say?

File: 1502451993590.jpg (26KB, 552x414px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 552x414px

>freshman year of high school
>have this faggot schoolmate that we like to tease
>have hard maths exam, half a class fails because the teacher is retarded
>retake said exam
>school trip after that
>faggot doesn't come, because he knows we're going to mess with him
>math teacher brings corrected exams to the trip
>we call faggot and tell him most of us failed, including him
>fastforward one week, back at school
>faggot comes on monday
>tells us how he got a math tutor after learning he failed the exam, spent 50€ on tutoring
>tell faggot he actually passed the exam
>he doesn't even flip out, just has a retarded look on his face

File: mfw.jpg (48KB, 500x495px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 500x495px

Ah, great stories, my friends, how about another short one?

>be me
>17, nearing end of junior year
>one of the school tards is patrolling the hallway
>some kids are talking about star wars
>one kid does a Jar Jar Binks inpression
>tard hears it
"NO!"
>tard charges at the kid
>grabs his hair, starts pulling at it
>entire hallway erupts into hyena-like laughter
>teacher has to remove the tard
>mfw it was another kid I strongly disliked that got assaulted by the tard

File: XCOM-2-Beserker.jpg (704KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

704KB, 1920x1080px

OP friend again, that makes me remember another school tard story
>School is small
>Entire high school shares one laptop
>the tard fucking loves this laptop, is always getting in trouble for using it when he's not supposed to
>One day he gets called up to front office during lunch, leaves laptop behind
>ask teacher if I can play minesweeper
>says go head
>after like 10 mins he comes back
>sees me on PC
>looks like image
>charges at me
>tries to hit me but instead slams his fist into the laptop with such force it closes with a slam
>open it back up once he gets dragged out
>screen is black in the corner
>nothing bad but the staff is fucking livid
>He is forbidden from ever going near the laptop again
>He is fucking depressed

File: The One True God.jpg (8KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 225x225px

bump

File: God.png (639KB, 753x577px) Image search: [Google]

639KB, 753x577px

>Be tard
>suck own wee wee
>die
>school laughs
>become Tardruich, devourer of dicks
>eat whole school's dicks
>mfw

This thread is full of retards and people that speak English as a 5th language.

File: drunk retard.jpg (14KB, 203x209px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 203x209px

Shut fuck

File: h.png (116KB, 223x233px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 223x233px

>>745282687
Shut fuck

>>745282687
fuck shut

>6th grade
>chillin with fat friend
>out of no where this bitch threw an eraser at him
>hits him in the eye
>nerd rage
>fucking jumps up and bolts over to her like a rhino
>begins choking her
>what's his endgame?
>was he gonna kill her?
>he finally quits and says he just blacked out and lost it
>he didn't even get detention

another time this guy had to shit during a test and couldn't hold it any more so he got out from the chair and share on the floor and took off running

>>745272491
bump

>>745282687
You shut fuck..or I you die.

>>745274233
your struggles to speak english have me kekking hard

>>745275458
you are going to have a sad life if that is your definition of victory

>>745283620
A small victory is still a victory.

>>745283248
My phone hasn't learned the word shat* yet

>>745272491
Please tell me this kid's name was Remy

this thread gave me cancer

File: 1505528207325.jpg (12KB, 500x370px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 500x370px

>>745280845
your entire fucking school shares one fucking laptop?! how does that work, like does it stay in one class orrrrr

this thread is fucking aids

>>745283844
No, it wasn't.

The entire high school was two classroom, and it was in a strip mall. We had a computer lab, but after a year or two of ROBLOX and shitty Dragonball sprite games from the grade schoolers they shat themselves.

>>745283880
They allow kids to use the laptop when they deem it necessary.

File: Capture3.png (177KB, 287x381px) Image search: [Google]

177KB, 287x381px

bump

File: s406627270820237281_p1_i1_w320_dc844b83-7aaf-4f1f-adb7-6f946b8efed7_large.jpg (29KB, 480x301px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 480x301px

one of the reasons why i'm going to burn in hell
>middle school, average amount of kids in special education
>one girl with downs syndrome
>absolutely goes ape shit when coins roll across the floor
>even if they just fall to the ground she goes running
>friend and I come to school with pockets of change
>roll them down the hallways when we see her around
>she goes running people down with pure tard strength chasing after pennies and dimes
>this becomes a daily routine
>people end up complaining so much principal catches on, threatens people with expulsion for deliberately rolling fucking coins down a hall

>>745274233
No one knows what the fuck you're talking about bro

>Be in early HS
>Be fucking some MS black chick in the locker room
>Get caught plowing her from behind in the shower
>She gets kicked out of school
>They suspend me for a day or two because I'm on a sports team

She had tasty tits

>>745285940
did she have chocolate milk in her tits?

File: 1408568470692_wps_9_Ruckas_Videograbs_01322_8.jpg (41KB, 634x357px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 634x357px

>>745274233
What the fuck am i reading?

File: Photo Apr 21, 5 36 08 PM.jpg (75KB, 540x720px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 540x720px

This is a five-paragraph essay that Jewpac wrote. At least, that's what it's supposed to be.

File: Photo Apr 21, 5 36 09 PM.jpg (56KB, 540x720px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 540x720px

Part 2

>>745287796
Thank you, I was too lazy to post this myself.

>>745286619

No but there's nothing quite like stark white cum on a pretty darkie's developing tits.

Good thing we were caught though, I was bareback and was gonna pump her cunt full. Stupid kids.

>>745288542
Principal secret saved you from niggertry

>Be me
>Be in 7th grade at Catholic school
>my class is full of absolute assholes
>old history teacher about 65 with >hump back
>everyone that has been taught by >this guy talked about how he was >the best teacher they ever had.
>he was very strange and my group >of friends were convinced he was a >pedophile and wanted to fuck a kid >from our circle of friends.
>no one listens to this guy
>purposely start rumours that this >guy is "touching" our friend, friend >thinks it's funny and plays along
>school and diocese does an >investigation on the claims
>school finally realizes there isn't >much hard evidence this guy did >anything
>teacher actually stopped class one >day and went on a 2 hour lecture, >crying about how we are the worst >class he's ever had in his 50 year >career, and that he didn't do >anything to deserve how he was >being treated
>basically begged us to please stop >talking bad about him and accusing >him of things he didn't do
>teacher basically lets us do what >we want for the next two years

He died recently at about 86 years old and still taught until about 80. I still feel bad about what we did occasionally , but am amazed a group of about 12, 12/13 year old boys and girls successfully blackmailed a teacher to get out of class for 2 years and pretty much ran a very wealthy school

>>745289496
>What>The>fuck>is>this>format

You're retarded.

>>745289496
You're terrible at green texting. Fucking die.

>>745289496

My HS had a teacher who had all the chicks in his class pose for pics for him, locked one in the closet once, and in general acted like a fidgety creep.

He was also an esteemed missionary but I don't know wtf that has to do with anything.

File: 0db4f69efe9516a345ba6899793b8e7f82e63bfc9ce30b91fa2d4a291c7ff9bd_1.gif (61KB, 320x288px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 320x288px

bump

in 8 grade me and a group of guys were groping a girl in front of our teacher. she complained to the teacher to get help. but the teacher told her to stop complaining and be happy. she liked it secretly

Fucked an elementary girl in my car once in HS.

Don't feel bad about it, she was a slutty thing.

Hope her dad didn't touch her or something.

File: Can u dont.png (421KB, 685x455px) Image search: [Google]

421KB, 685x455px

This is becoming a sex with little girls thread

File: Baliey is a dirty jew.jpg (155KB, 899x675px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 899x675px

Everyone here is a dirty Jew

>Be in "study hall"
>Really "Goof off in the computer room" period
>My customary position is shared by a retard nignog football star in the period before mine
Everybody in my school had a user account, I should mention
>One day walk in and find nignog didn't log out on his account
>Plant faggy searches on his chrome history
>"HonkinBigDicks.com"
>"MassiveSchlongs.org"
>"FreakyFags.net"

Nothing happened

>>745290955

Tbf most people in HS and below would be underage themselves

>>745275458
>>745276148
this is the fakest and most unrealistic shit i've ever read. you're trying too hard. consider this criticism.

File: COCK.png (292KB, 336x651px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 336x651px

>>745291821
Tee Hee it's funny because he said nig nog lol

>>745277938
Moderator here. You are OP.

>>745291929
I shit you not, this all happened. Yes, I did neglect to mention that the reason the lights flickered when he was thrown into the wall (not actually tossed) he hit the light switch. My school was crazy, and this is the shit that happened.

>>745280845
Moderator here. You are OP.

>>745291929
SHUT FUCK

>>745292119
>on discord with my friend
>sent him the link to the story
>he's the one who posted it
>kek

>>745288526
>>745287796
>>745287755
samefag

>>745292136
>>745292177
>>745292232
You are all the same poster.

>>745292346
prove it
otherwise obvious bait is obvious

File: huehue1.gif (2MB, 400x201px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x201px

>>745272491
chuckled a bit. I'll read some more.

File: prune-juice.jpg (33KB, 700x464px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 700x464px

>Sophomore cross country runner in high school
>Really bad chronic constipation
>Mom buys me a big ass bottle of prune juice
>My suffering will be over soon desu
>Fill a large glass to the brim with prune juice
>Looks and tastes like shit, pic related
>Force myself to drink the whole glass, badass right?
>Waiting to shit...
>Pass the time by browzing interwebz
>30 minutes later...
>Wtf, these prunes ain't shit
>Drink another glass of prune juice
>And then one more for good measure
>"Okay mom, I'm going for a run, see ya"
>"Running will get the digestive system going", thinks anon
>Start running my 3 mile route
>Easy run for someone /fit/ like anon
>Quarter mile into the run
>Something don't feel too good, monkaS
>Half a mile into the run
>I got to shit nigga
>Fuck it, I'm heading back
>It gets much worse
>Clenching my asshole as hard as I can
>Feels like my stomach is gonna explode
>Trying to decide whether to shit my pants, or shit in some random dude's front lawn
>"I'll tuff it out", says anon
>Still running back home
>The pressure is too much
>Short bursts of hot, toxic air manage to escape my tight asshole, producing farts as loud as thunderclaps
>Probably a quarter mile away from home
>Up ahead I see Stacy from school, leaving her house with her friend
>anon has a huge crush on Stacy
>Shit, shit, what to do?
>I try to run past them and hope they don't notice me
>"O-Oh hi anon!" says Stacy
>I try to respond back
>"H-Hi Sta" - *huge fucking fart*
>Stacy and her friend start laughing their asses off
>I want to die so fucking bad
>Continue running home
>Made it home without completely shitting my pants by some miracle
>Completely destroyed the toilet, and then had to shit liquids every 30 minutes for the rest of the day.

Never drinking prune juice ever again.

>be me
>be 14 or so
>be a virgin
>freshman year in high school
>go to the bathroom during class
>find a kid in a hoodie giving another one a bag full of weed
>they both look at me
>shit
>walk by to the urinal like nothing happened
>behind me I hear a bag opening
>go to wash my hands
>in the mirror I see one of them looking in the bag
>"this shit ain't weed." he says
>"what?" the dealer asks
>"this ain't weed. It's oregano."
>they keep arguing over it
>soon, they start yelling, and one of them punches the other
>mortalkombat.gif
>mfw I just watched two kids argue and then fight over a bag of fucking oregano
>to be continued

>>745289496
Well no wonder they were so wealthy they saved millions by cutting syntax out of your curriculum

Fucked our chemistry teacher in the bathroom one day. Never learned a thing in her class though, she was a shit teacher.

>>745292432
The fact that this post has the same IP as the following post:

>>745292232
>>745292177
>>745292136
>>745288526
>>745287796
>>745287755
>>745284082
>>745283683
>>745283453
>>745280845
>>745280017
>>745279486
>>745277938
>>745276148
>>745275458
>>745274990
>>745273851
>>745272491
Is proof.

>>745277938
>Yamaka
It's spelled Yarmulke.
Fucking spell check.

>>745292708

>be a virgin

This has nothing to do with the story

>>745292833
Oh, it will soon.

>>745292802
How?

File: counter-evidence.jpg (33KB, 442x355px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 442x355px

>>745292814
>mine are marked with "(You)"
>get cucked

>>745292708
>>745292833
>two months later
>in the bathroom during class again
>see two guys in the corner
>both naked
>looked like one was about to doggie style the other
>we make eye contact
>freeze.jpg
>quickly go into the stall like nothing happened
>taking a shit
>hearing fucking sounds outside of the stall
>climax.mp4
>boner.gif
>shit.jpg
>stay in the stall for 15 minutes trying to jack off and get rid of the boner
>walk out
>the two gays are still there, still undressed and staring at me
>mfw they must've heard me jacking
>walk out
>to be continued

It only gets gayer from here, folks.

File: 1502360669020m.jpg (61KB, 1024x561px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 1024x561px

jacking off in the bathroom some other people came in realized what I was doing were saying shit I waited silent till they left then kept jacking till I came only way to fend off getting a boner every 30 seconds in class

>>745272491
sounds like Timo

File: rekt.png (679KB, 1496x1021px) Image search: [Google]

679KB, 1496x1021px

>>745292995

File: laughing.jpg (4KB, 190x190px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 190x190px

>>745283453
>You shut fuck..or I you die.
Shutting fuck.

File: evidence.png (139KB, 184x447px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 184x447px

>>745292995
>saved file as jpg
>leaving evidence that mspaint was used to eyedrop the post background colour and erase the other (You)'s
>naming file counter-evidence.jpg

get cucked

This is the worst fiction thread ive ever been in

>>745274233
are u ok? i think you might have symptoms of a mild stroke.

>>745293228
>Used snipping tool

>>745293228
Oooooowwwwwwh shiet GET REKT

File: waitwhat.jpg (50KB, 500x392px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 500x392px

>>745293074
>sophomore year
>going to that same bathroom again (no bathrooms in the sophomore wing)
>see some ginger kid with his pants down shitting in the sink
>looks at me
>recognize him as the guy running from the tard wranglers a couple of months earlier
>"care to join?" he asks
>step out of the bathroom
>the tard pulls his pants up and follows me down the hall, saying random shit as we go
>I'm about to step back into my class when he says "let's go there again, best friend!"
>he walks away
>mfw
>to be continued

File: 1491376252910.jpg (23KB, 502x502px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 502x502px

>>745293228
OOOOOOOOOOOoOH

>>745293375
ShareX

>get double cucked fucking sperg pretending to have friends on 4chan that were there for his bullshit stories that never happened

>>745292983

Picked her up and fucked her against the wall. She sucked my cum to finish and I left first to make sure the halls were clear.

Bitch gave me a B on my test though.

>captcha: expert union

>>745293396
Nobody fucking cares right now some real shit's going on.

>>745290031
Fucking shit phone, fucked me up

>>745287755
>>745287796
Centered text.
Many misspellings.
Clearly written by a tard.
I would have given this "essay" a fucking failing grade.

>>745293396
>one month later
>in the bathroom again
>just took a shit
>about to open the stall door when I hear a drilling sound
>look behind me to see a drill bit through the wall
>mfw someone's drilling a glory hole
>step out of the stall
>the little shit drilling the gloryhole has the stall door open
>it's the faggot from last year who was fucking the other guy
>we make eye contact
>shit.jpg
>he stops drilling
>"wanna test it out?" he asks
>stay silent
>perhaps if I don't move he won't notice me
>"okaaay..." he says
>keeps drilling
>sprint out of bathroom

>>745292530
Lol, hahahahahhahahaha anyone else find this funny?

>>745293607
It was written by the kid we referred to as "Jewpac" or "The menace" in our previous stories.

>>745293623
stop no one cares about you homo fantasy with underage boys

>>745293623
>the next month
>going to the bathroom again
>hear moaning from inside
>the glory hole has been in use for a while now, and the weed dealer from last year went into business again
>go inside
>walk into a cloud of weed smoke
>business must be booming
>walk into a stall
>some chick is already in there sucking a guys dick through the glory hole
>"are you supposed to be in here?" I ask, already a little high off the smoke
>she stands up and drops her pants
>penis.jpg
>"continue" I say
>go and sit on the toilet to take a shit
>she kneels and continues to suck the dick
>take a shit while watching a trap give head
>pull up my pants and wash my hands
>had to wear sunglasses for the rest of the day because my eyes were bloodshot from the weed smoke
>teacher asked me why I was wearing sunglasses
>said I had temporary photosensitive epilepsy
>teacher was a retard and gave me permission
>to be continued

>>745293745
>Our

nice try faggo no one believes you
if your both here post timestamped pics

>>745293746
Fukitol.jpeg

>>745293767
you should really find a better restroom

>>745293767
>one month later
>in the bathroom again after school
>no smoke this time, but the weed dealer is still selling
>decide to buy a pot brownie and get high
>every stall has a glory hole now
>go to take yet another shit
>weed starts to take effect
>woahredpill.jpg
>look at the glory hole
>too high to think straight
>stick my dick in the gloryhole
>feel contact from the other side
>"well hey there." Says someone from the other stall
>it's the trap
>feel someone's mouth start to suck my dick
>holyshit.png
>they suck my dick for a while
>climax.mp4
>they keep sucking
>feels good man
>finally stop
>pull up my pants and go out of the stall
>see the stall door next to mine open
>it's the trap buttfucking... the redhead tard, who's mouth was... on the glory hole
>the tard turns towards me
>"hi best friend!" he says
>ohgodwhy.gif
>wash my hands in the only sink that wasn't shit in
>go back to class with sunglasses again

And that, /b/, is the story of how I lost my virginity. I want to fucking die because of it.

File: dumbfounded.jpg (48KB, 240x277px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 240x277px

Alright /b/etas
>be me, tard 7th grader
>have a group of friends who are porn addicts
>of course me being a beta, i don't know much about the glorious porn world
>they start joking around everyday saying
>"anon likes males"
>gotanidea.mp4
>i say, "yeah I like shemales"
>le me thinks it's a twist on the word female
>porn addict friends look at me awkward
>get to the point where i say i like shemales to point out im alpha as fuck
>8th grade comes by and being a beta I start finding the wonders of porn sites
>searching through categories
>sees shemale
>whatthefuck.mp2
>mfw when all these years i basically said i liked trap porn

>>745293945
There weren't any. There was one bathroom for our whole wing, and that wing had every grade except seniors.

File: Capture.jpg (34KB, 1195x383px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 1195x383px

>>745293846
Excerpt from our discord conversation about the thread

>be me
>6th grade
>Spanish class
>Asshole popular jock
>Always insult race/says does shit to mom.
>Have enough one day
>Fire drill
>Outside
>Whispering sweet insults in my ear
>Push and he falls over
>Prepare for fight
>Never comes
>Spanish teacher stops
>Don't get in trouble, principle says asshole is asshole.
>Grow up
>Always hate, burns with a fire of 100 sun's
>Him, highschool football star
>Me, still hate
>Me graduate, school business success
>Him, hanging around home town doing guy that hangs around home town things.
>Him, has kid with some random
>Him, weird pictures with daughter on Facebook saying that they are part of the aryan pure race.
>Me, always hate from a distance, but life is going well
>Be me
>See headline "man having sex with 4 year old and 8 month old with mother"
>Me, hmm
>Me, Oh FUCK
>Months later
>Asshole stuck with 5 life sentences
>Me, fuck you Thomas Fleming

>>745293952
at no point in that story did you lose your virginity

>>745293952
Faggot.

>>745293228
Why aren't you a fucking detective or something. Jesus.

>>745294130
Oral counted as virginity loss in my family. I got spanked because of it (my family's hyper Christian) So I still kept the habit of thinking that.

>>745294070
you could have easily faked that conversation to cover your tracks

>>745294257
You must be new. People here pull this shit all the time. 4chan is the place where every genius who was too much of a faggot to get through college goes.

>>745293228
>colour
THIS FUCKING SHIT.
"COLOR."
What you typed is pronounced 'CUH LOOR."

File: os-childsex-attacks-20150106.jpg (45KB, 750x422px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 750x422px

>>745294126
this the guy?

File: 1501475064132.jpg (27KB, 296x385px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 296x385px

>>745272491
>junior year
>good as fuck with computers (by high school kid standards)
>figure out how to do remote shutdowns on computers, school has the IDs right on the towers so it's real easy to pick targets
>occasionally troll a couple people by shutting their shit off
>tell a couple friends, have a few laughs fucking with people
>end up dropping out that year
>the day before I do, I tell a few dumbass freshmen how to do it
>later on hear that the teachers were getting their computers shut off at random and apparently one day somebody just straight up shut off every computer in the district
>mfw

>>745294358
Shoo, you're getting to conspiracy-theorist levels of skepticism here.

>>745294399
what is British English?

>>745285454
I can't fucking breath

>>745294462
id fuck him

>>745294398
Not new, just never cease to be amazed by the power of pure focused autism.

>>745294517
that or im getting to close to THE TRUTH

>>745294565
get in the same prison as him and you'll get him as your prison wife possibly

>>745274233
when you rellice what he meant

>>745294651
which one did he go to?

>>745294741
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-baby-rapist-florida-deltona-life-prison-20150106-story.html
Article can help you start looking

>>745294462
>>745294565

I'd fuck her

But I'm not 4 so I'm shit outta luck.

>>745294462
That fucking guy

>>745293952
In the same paragraph you claim that this is after school, then you went back to class. Die

>>745293418
Im more focused on this disscution that the thread itself

>>745294462
He is the worst kind of human... Obviously

>>745293677
Too lazy to read it

>>745294948
GG Anon, GG

File: 1504066966097.png (280KB, 500x495px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 500x495px

>>745294948
my sides

>walks into bathroom
>no intention to actually take a piss
>sees kid drinking soap
>walks out

It was fucking funny seeing a random kid drink soap out of the plastic dispenser.

>>745294948
I'm case you want to try and dig, her name is Autumn Ash

>>745295082
>>745295206
if you guys find out what prison he's in if he isn't in supermax for his safety you can let some inmates find out what happened and ruin whatever life he may have in there

>>745294023
>trap porn
Nope, shemales are not traps

>>745294399
>colour
>cuh loor
from that logic color is pronounced c-ow-l-ow-r
fuckin amerifags

>>745295444
NOICE FUKN TRIPS XDD

>>745295404
I read into the comment sections of the Podunk Florida news sites, a guy named Jay says he beat the fuck out of him.

I cannot imagine how fucked he is now.

Without possibility of parole as well

File: 1504115055368.png (267KB, 506x409px) Image search: [Google]

267KB, 506x409px

>>745276148
>Operation Burning Yamaka
>Burning Yamaka
>Yamaka

bruh. yarmulke.

>be me
>last year of high school
>girls walks in and talks to the teacher in private
>teacher comes back in and tells class that one of our classmates has something to say
>girl walks in
>stands in front of class
>she explains how she is a transgender
>perfers male pronouns
>her: "From now on can you call me Joe"
>her name is jessica
lightbulb.jpg
>"DONT YOU MEAN JOE-SECA?!?!?!"
>class dies as she runs out screaming and crying
>suspended for three days
>i come back
>in the middle of class "he" raises his hand
>teacher: "Yes mam"
ohshit
>teacher: "I MEAN... YES SIR"
>Joe-seca: *Runs out crying again*
funnyshit.png

File: images.jpg (8KB, 251x201px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 251x201px

>>745295420
line trap is a shemale though

>>745295698
Did theacher get suspended to?

>>745295793
he just got a slap on the wrist

>>745295790
fake operated tities on = shemale
No fake tities = traps

So... my life is a Lie?

>>745295698
how'd he/she look?

>>745295698
>What a bitch,
>there was a chick name Brittany in my highschool.
>One day, am now boy
>Am Carter
>No one fucked with Carter
>Carter was laid back as fuck
>Fucking carter

>>745295889
kek'd

>>745295978
imagine a lesbian with short hair

>>745296065
Tomboy

>>745296065
face and body matter too

>>745295944
rip

and the thread dies like that

>>745297326
heres a story
>be myself
>the thread dies
>and if you can notice your mother will die in your sleep if you dont reply to this

Fuck you Thomas Fleming... Fuck you

>>745297440
ono i don't want that, i am spook

>>745297620
spoopy

>>745297440
damn nigga

>Be 14
>Be talking to a couple of friends during lunch
>Friend 1 went to Lutheran school up until this point, it's his 1st year in public school
>He's also an identical twin
>Mid-conversation, he pulls a picture of Jesus out from the front of his pants and looks at it
>Me and friend 2 look at each other, conversation is over.
>Later, talking to friend 1's twin brother
>Ask him if pulling pictures of Jesus from your dick is normal for Lutherans
>He's just as confused as we are
>Later he says his brother was feeling weird about public school and needed to have a Jesus reminder or something


>A few years later, be in high school now
>The twins are really into drama class, and are actually pretty good actors
>Friend 1 gets a lead role in a school play
>Stops coming to school for a week or two
>Eventually comes back, but he's completely bald and no longer has eyebrows
>Says he has cancer
>A few weeks go by, hair and eyebrows start growing back
>homeboy didn't have cancer
>Everyone thinks that was pretty fucking weird, but whatever

"No!"

File: 1503572379116.jpg (243KB, 817x1024px) Image search: [Google]

243KB, 817x1024px

>be me
>junior in rural high school
>friends with all the trouble makers in class
>we all sit at the last row
>teasing,annoying girls,teachers etc
>in our class to get to the front you have to squeeze behind this girls desk because small class
>her name is scarlotte, 9/10 very big blue eyes with thick brunette long braided hair
>this tard that we make constant fun of sit right in front her
>just when the lunch break start one of my friends throw this heavy backpack right on tards head
>tard is squirming in pain trying to hold back tears
>thought that i was the one who threw the backpack
>decide to push his luck and say how he fucked my mom etc thinking he could run away before i could get there
>i get mad as fuck and leap the fuck out to catch the tard
>just when i was squeezing behind scarlotte's desk manage to get a hold of tards collar
>hear a high pitched scream
>scarlotte's thick braided hair is caught in my belt buckle
>"annnnooonnn please don't move it hurts!!"
>at this point i'm beating the fuck out of tard
>scarlotte is trying her best to untangle her hair while i'm doing this
>suddenly feel my balls getting grabbed
>not the good kind of caressing the balls way
>the kind where she was grabbing them like they were motherfucking berries ready to be juiced kind of way
>let go of tard and focus on this new found pain
>the whole class is laughing at this fiasco at this point
>fucking hell shes still squeezing my nuts
>grab her hand and pull it out
>holydickballs i could've sworn she popped my nuts
>still so much of her fucking hair was caught
>tard is long gone and balls still hurt but i calm down now
>properly look at girl for the first time
>tears are rolling down her pretty cheeks from pain
>i stop moving and tell her to do the same
>try my best to untangle her hair but its not working and now it looks like shes giving me a blowjob
>class is laughing so hard,whistling,cheering her on etc

Cont?

>>745298991
Yes, please.

File: yWRigl6B.jpg (24KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 400x400px

>>745298991
>>745299089
>i feel real bad about her and decide to just remove my belt
>it was one of those early 2000's big ass skull buckle belts
>even removing this is hard because scarlotte keeps screaming every time i move the belt just an inch
>this whole thing must have gone for good 5 minutes now
>shes still standing down unable to get up and i'm standing up unable to move at all
>this must have been hilarious for us 16 year olds at that time because not one came to our help, they were just laughing their asses off
>finally one of her friends comes to help
>she sits down on the chair besides scarlotte, trying to untangle this mess
>now it looks like two girls trying to give me head
>my fucking face when
>even after all this fucking shitshow i slowly feel my dick waking up
>whyboner.png
>now even people going to lunch from other classes are piling near the door laughing
>i just stand there like a fucking idiot trying not to get a boner, thinking about grandma's pussy
>the tard must have heard about this whole thing from someone and now he comes to class again and starts laughing
>my rage levels go into turbo mode
>don't even have to think about grandma's pussy because of rage
>always fucking hated this retard faggot
>i just think about all the shit i'm gonna do to him once i was free
>after awhile i managed to remove the belt but the buckle is still intertwined with her hair
>its hanging from her hair like a huge ass snake
>i try to run and catch tard but pants are a bit loose now and feel like they'll come off if i run
>decide to make him pay another day
>at this point the poor girl was mortified, looked like she was having ww2 flashbacks
>she was always that shy cute girl, the girl from next door type
>now everyone was laughing at her
>i manage to sputter out for the first time
>"a-are you okay scar?"
>she starts to sob audibly
>goddamn it
>her friends grabs her hand and they head out of class
>still my belt is in her hair

Cont

>>745301261
continue

>>745301261
>>745301912
>i still stand there like an autist
>friends are giving me pats on the back, high fives when they leaving, still giggling
>i decide i should check up on scarlotte
>waddle in the direction they went with one hand grabbing my loose pants
>find them near girls toilet, still fucking trying to get the belt out
>her friend says "oh finally here comes anon"
>"you're the one should be helping her, not me!"
>"uhh yea.. sure, h-hey scar are you okay now? does it hurt??" (fucking cringe when i think back)
>"mmm yeah anon, kinda.. but it was worse before"
>i try to help her out but i am as much help as a neanderthal in fucking nasa
>"ouch be careful anon!"
>finally after like 2 eons the belt is free
>her hair looks predator's hair on a bad hair day
>like the autist i am, i kek a bit thinking about this
>"whats so funny anon?? you know this is all your fault!"
>"sorry its just your hair looks funny"
>"haha very funny you brat"
>she storms into the toilet with her friend
>i wear the belt and go to the cafeteria to finally have lunch
>friends give me a hard time about all this shit
>i see the funny side too and laugh with them
>all this time don't see scar
>finish lunch quickly and decide to look for her
>i go near the toilet again and call her name
>turns out shes still there
>"wait anon, almost done now"
>surprisingly she doesn't sound that mad now
>she comes out with her friend near the end of lunch, hair looking all good
>"hehe your hair seems like it was before now "
>"yeah but it took a long time"
>they go to have lunch and i go to my next class
>don't see her after that till end of school
>realize i didn't even apologize to her for all this
>catch her just before she was getting to her brothers truck
>"hey wait up scar, i just wanted to say i'm sorry for all that happened"
>"its okay now anon, don't worry about it now" she says with a smile
>just noticed how fucking pretty she looks (looks kinda like emma stone with longer hair)

Cont.

continue you cunt

File: 6141229+_d7169d48dee2346fa39821def3d2be78.png (6KB, 600x474px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 600x474px

>>745298991
>>745301261
>>745303132

File: nathan still.png (653KB, 765x568px) Image search: [Google]

653KB, 765x568px

>>745303132
yaya whatever emma stone finish the story

>>745303132
>i go home and fuck around our bicycles with some friends
>getting near dark now, and we are near our local 7/11 smoking cigarettes
>our town is small so pretty much everyone knows everyone
>see this blue truck turn into 7/11 car park
>"anon isn't that scarlotte's brothers truck?" one of my friends ask
>scarlotte's brother gets out of the truck and starts to walk towards us
>he's this linebacker type built 6'2 dude with big ass biceps
>i realize some fuckery is afoot and my gut tells me to just run
>don't want to look like a pussy to my friends though so i stand my ground
>"are you the one called anon?" he asked with the most not so friendly way
>"yeah whats up" i asked nonchalantly
>"you think you could do that to my sister and get away with it?
>"don't lie because brad told me everything" (brad is their youngest brother that goes to the same school)
>without warning this fucker punches my gut
>getting punched in the gut hurts like a motherfucker i tell you
>i get down holding my stomach
>this asshole knees my face while i'm doing that
>i get why cartoon characters show stars circling around them when they are punched now
>feel warm blood dripping down my mouth from nose
>manage to sputter "w-wait wait.. it was an acciden-"
>kicks me again and this time i black out
>wake up to a friend leaning over my face
>ughh fucking hell.. more than the face, my stomach hurts like shit
>"where is that motherfucker?? i'm gonna kill him"
>"he's gone now dude. told us to never mess with scarlotte again or the same will happen"
>cant even ride my bike, managed to somehow push it to home
>mom is furious at me for getting into another fight but gives me some of her painkillers
>nose has stopped bleeding now
>i know i cant skip school next day because she never lets me skip school no matter what
>next day go to school
>nose look red and weird and there's a blue blemish on my cheek
>"anon?" its scarlotte. "i heard what happened and i'm so sorry!"

Cont.

>>745303763
>>745304734
Be patient you fuckers. Typing as fast as I could.

File: what do you think of this face.png (713KB, 763x575px) Image search: [Google]

713KB, 763x575px

>>745305282
>34 min
>typing as fast as I could
>mfw

In all seriousness good story so far just bumping with banter

Bumping and waiting

>>745292530
how are prunes juiced? arent they just dried plums?

>>745295681
fuck off, kike

>>745305156
>"omg! look at your face.. i'm so so sorry"
>"i didn't even tell chris (her elder brother) i don't know how he got to know"
>try to act cool because fuck it, now its over and she's cute as hell
>"hehe don't worry about it scar, it doesn't hurt"
>actually gut feels like someone hit it with a sledgehammer
>she touches my cheek saying how bruised it is
>can say she's genuinely concerned and not like in a fake bitchy way
>"i'm gonna kill that tard when i find him today"
>"let it go anon, you guys always pick on that poor guy"
>"hmmpf fine.."
>don't wanna show but at this point i would have took a shit on our principals table if this girl told me to
>go to class with her and people are still bugging us about yesterday
>apparently my friends have told everyone how her brother beat me up too
>surprisingly i don't get butthurt and just stay cool and smile

>that's that and the year goes by
>we really get close as time goes
>near the end of senior year we start to go out
>broke up after best 2 years of my life

Well that's a story for another time bros. We are still friends but I still love her so much.

File: iZiMcGZg.jpg (40KB, 728x485px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 728x485px

>>745298991
>>745301261
>>745303132
>>745305156
>>745306493
Good read my man.

when I was in year 8, this fat kid bullied me cause I was poor as dog shit. Eventually had enough beat the living shit out of him. Broke his nose, knocked a few teeth out and broke his arm. Got expelled but still worth it.

File: so you want a loan.png (796KB, 758x563px) Image search: [Google]

796KB, 758x563px

>>745306493
worthwhile read thanks and best of luck to ya anon

>>745306719
>>745306851
Thanks bros

Bumb

>>745283844
there was a retarded kid at my school who's name was Remy

Year 1999. It was a cool April morning in Jefferson county Colorado. My buddy dylan and Eric really pulled one hell of a senior prank.

>>745298991
>>745301261
>>745303132
>>745305156
>>745306493
7/10. Good story.

>be me in 10th grade
>Jaded about school and ready to quit at a moments notice
>Had a massive growth spurt from 7th to 10th grade
>Swole AF, didn't care about shit, not depressed, just over the whole school bullshit
>Small rich bully dude who normally avoided me, as he should have, because I wasn't afraid of anyone
>one day his actions indirectly caused my younger sister to get a sprained ankle
>I leave school to drive her to the hospital
>an hour later I drop her off at home and drive straight back to school
>Shit is on
>Apparently by the time I got back to school everyone had heard about what happened to my sister and wasn't expecting me to come back that day, they were wrong
>First friend I see when I walk in the back entrance I ask Where is the guy
>They look excited suddenly like it's Christmas morning
>They hurriedly escort me to where bitch boy is, it happens to be in between classes at that very moment
>Hallways were full, see dude, walk straight up to him and place hand on his shoulder and turn him around to face me
>I say the next phrase in a very audible tone, which then parts the hallways like the Red Sea
>It's because of you my sister's injured
>He then smirks
>Vision goes red and everything next happens in slow motion in my brain
>Wind back my right fist and hit this douche so squarely in the jaw, and so hard that it literally made that sound like in the movies
>Heard a loud crack
>Worldstarhiphop crowd noise is deafening
>Guy stumbles backward into lockers half unconscious, slowly sliding down the lockers toward the floor
>Not done yet fucker
>Grab the sides of his head and rake his fucking melon across 5 locker handles, not one defensive move is done by him
>My buddies pull me off guy to keep me from killing him, I thank them later
>Find out i broke his jaw and concussed him
>Feels good, right hand throbbing though
>Go to next class like shits normal, calm as fuck now

>>745310071
True story

>a little more to the story
>get pulled out of class to principals office
>He tells me that fightings bad m'kay
>Sort of thanks me though because I fucked up a kid that was always giving the principal headaches
>Get ZERO detention or suspension
>quit school a week later
>Take college classes and get a degree before my friends graduate
>Fuck high school, never looked back

>>745272491
>>he talks about Germany, the culture, etc.

the Führer, the Schutzstaffeln, etc.

>>745272491

>be me, 14
>fat rich dude is bullying me
>don't react because scared of being expelled
>fat lard ass golem bullies me even more
>everyone is laughing
>suddenly punch him in the jaw, the "skronk!!" noise is clearly heard by anyone
>fat dude almost fell on the floor, freezed by the impossible event
>everyone is cheering me
>teacher comes in
>never had any consequences
>fat dude started bullying the next autistic beta in his list

>>745274990
Omg this reminds me of the slightly autistic guy I had classes with. One of the funnier moments were when he said something extraordinary stupid, and everyone either facepalmed or cringed. Man every class should have one autismo.

>be the new girl at a inner city high school
>is white and v smol ( not a lot of white ppl there)
>gets put in a class with a fucking hippo ani-morphed Mexican guy
<tells joke in class " What's a cats favourite line"/A feline" before the lesson starts
< Animorph mother fucker doesn't get the joke so I try to explain
< He doesn't understand me so other students try to help him get it
< Students plus teacher try to tell him understand what the word feline means .
< He keeps connecting it to that the cat must be a girl because of FE line FE male
< try again and fail
< I tell him "you're just too fucking stupid to get the joke"
< HE FUCKING AGREES AND ACTS LIKE NOTHING HAPPEND
< didn't even get mad i called him fucking stupid .

>>745313243
oh god im drunk and typed that alllllw wrong

File: 1504131008244.gif (326KB, 762x540px) Image search: [Google]

326KB, 762x540px

>>745313243
Tits or gtfo.

>>745313358
MY PHOTO LIMIT IS ALREADY REACHED !

File: 21622327_482584212119803_2080638081_n.jpg (16KB, 720x432px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 720x432px

>>745313358
LETS SEE I TOOK THIS PHOTO THIS MORNING

File: 1504804418327.jpg (12KB, 355x258px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 355x258px

>>745313533
Yes and the stamp proves it.
Gtfo

>>745289496
can confirm that this is exactly the start of 99% of "catholic pedos" scandals

>>745274233
Since he doesn't even speak English and is slightly retarded here's what happened .
When all kids went outside he stayed and took all pages from all binders . He mixed them and put them again in each binder , so every kid found pages from different people . And they started fighting .
That's for the robots , not us .

File: WIN_20170916_06_38_57_Pro.jpg (31KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 640x360px

>>745313640
>>745313533
>>745313358
>>745313285
>>745313243

File: 1504652509362.gif (1MB, 295x200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 295x200px

>>745313839
See not that hard.
Like i am now.

>>745292157

>be me in 1990
>school acquires a Hurr Durr Personal Computer to teach Hurr Durr Computer Science

at the time it was MS/DOS only.
the boot sequence had AUTOEXEC.BAT full of commands.

placed a picture of a gay dude bareassed in the autoexec, but renamed it MODE.COM so that it got executed in place of MODE.EXE that was the first command.
also added a SHOWPIC GAYDUDE.JPEG at the end

>femteacher turns on the computer
>bareassed gay faggot appears
>she's all WTFWTFWTF, asks for help
>tech dude walks in
>remove the SHOWPIC command and reboots
>gay bareaddes fag appears again
>tech dude in sweat slowly erases every fucking command up to MODE CO80
>eventually the gay pic disappears from the boot sequence

Never got caught