Hello, Anon. How's things? Feeling sad? Need a hug?

>>745270797
i'm 17 and i'm bullied by ppl at school
should i kill them?

>>745270948
No.

File: qt.png (1MB, 752x406px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 752x406px

here's your free bump fam

File: 33434567 887875.jpg (117KB, 1080x1350px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 1080x1350px

>>745270797
HeyHey

>>745270797
>Be me
>Depressed all the time
>Literally no idea why
>Learn to ignore depression
>GG EZ

File: 1406170210421.jpg (2MB, 1920x1200px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x1200px

Feeling a bit weird. I try to write, or draw, and lately I've just been getting mad at myself that it's shit, I dont have any ideas, or that I'm not being productive about it and really accomplishing anything. Trying to tell myself it's supposed to be for fun tho

>>745270948
Bullied how?

File: nausicaa17.jpg (41KB, 600x507px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 600x507px

>>745270948
Nah, murder is too hard to get away with. Stay as far away from these people as you can, and if you must interact with them, just put up with it. It's more entertaining for them if you get upset.

It helps if you can make some friends. Can you befriend some of the other people they bully? You'd be sure to have things to relate to each other over.

>>745271084
Tanks mane. How you been feeling?

>>745271119
Hey Mantis.

>>745271143
Sounds like you weren't really depressed at all. That could be something more along the lines of melancholia.

>>745271154
Well, if you're forcing it, it may not be. It could help to take a break for a day or so, so that things seem fresh when you take them back up again.

>>745270948
Most schools have cameras everywhere. I'm sure they are breaking some anti-bullying rule. It won't be long before they are caught.

>>745271228
not nearly as bogged down today for some reason. the bbq pizza i made was good. i enjoyed vidya for the first time in weeks. then i rekt my thumb on a knife reaching into my silverware drawer too quickly, fucking hurts. so i guess im doing better.

So ive been a live in maid and nanny for about six months now,and ive been chill with not getting paid that much because they are close family friends who really needed the help.

But now theyre telling me if i want to stay, i need to go get a job, and still do everything i do for them.

Im so close to telling them to leave it be or ill leave and theyll have to pay a real sitter/nanny and do their own chores again.

What should i do anon?

File: 1503478202767.jpg (506KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]

506KB, 1680x1050px

>>745271228
>>745271154 is me
I haven't really sat down and written in a dedicated manner in over three years since I lost my writing partner, who was my bff. I guess I should really wait for ideas to come and spring up more than trying to milk them for all they have the moment they start

File: X9X CVF GHY.jpg (79KB, 736x767px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 736x767px

>>745271492
So they want you to work for them, and pay rent? I don't see anything good coming out of this situation. Move out as soon as you get a new place.

>>745271492
they dont sound like your friends to me...

File: nausicaa20.jpg (15KB, 300x225px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 300x225px

>>745271479
Things could certainly be a lot worse. You seem to me to be improving, at least in terms of your attitude towards life.

Have you tried putting something cold on the cut? An ice cube could help numb it.

>>745271492
Does the amount of work you are doing now justify the amount of money they're giving you? Are they boarding you too?

It may be that the family can't take the financial strain of supporting you anymore, and you really do need to get a real job for things to work out for everyone.

>>745271591
Have you heard of National Novel Writing Month? It happens every November. I've done it a few times, and it's a good exercise in maintaining drive throughout an extended period. You could set a goal to write your entire plot within a certain period of time, then plan it out before then.

Let the ideas come, Anon. It's not always better that way, but it is right now.

>>745270797

I've been waiting around for you since forever, I wanted to share something with you, I hope you enjoy it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg2iPEKzqwo

>>745270797
Hey fenn, why are you such a frgget?

>>745271228
Your internet drop off last time or something?

File: 101X9X 6675456.png (595KB, 536x704px) Image search: [Google]

595KB, 536x704px

>>745271903
Not op here.
But I'm really enjoying this!
Thanks!

>>745271872
it keeps reopening so imma just suck it up and keep it wrapped until morning

File: nausicaa33.jpg (6KB, 306x165px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 306x165px

>>745271903
Ooh, I'll listen to it right now.

It's very pretty. It makes me feel comfortable, but also ready to find something or move on to something special. It's almost like the music you hear on the first planet in Starbound.

>>745272124
Alright. I hope it's not bleeding too much. You take care of yourself, man.

>>745271931
I dunno Anon, you tell me.

Aren't you something of a faggot too, for posting here? Why do you do that, every thread? I'm curious.

>>745271933
Yeah. Halfway through the last thread my connection speed bombed, then it kept rapidly disconnecting and reconnecting. Didn't work yesterday either. But I found an old wireless adapter that's working better than the built-in one, so it works now, at least temporarily. Sorry about that.

File: 1503482493799.jpg (67KB, 628x640px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 628x640px

>>745271872
I have! I tried NaNoWriMo a few years back, length is always my issue, I'm more of a short story sort of person. It's about time I did try it again though, I need something to kick my motivation into gear.

>>745271492
actually now i think about it, it might be a subtle/polite way of saying they don't need your services anymore but aren't opposed to having you continue to live with them if you are supporting yourself and helping with bills. they must think they don't need a maid/nanny anymore?

>>745272106

I think it's a really decent piece, except for the plateus (or however you spell it), he could've made it a little more, explorish.

His other works doesn't sound like this, he's heavily influenced by tourettes, and it's easy to hear in his other pieces

>>745272180

I'm just happy I could finally get to share it, you don't know the hours here, I've been spending the past 3 days trying to reach you but had to give up at like 3-4 am here and go to bed. So now I feel fulfilled :) *hug*

I don't know starbound, what is that ?

>>745272180
Heya, friendo. How's it going tonight? That performance I was telling you about went over well the other day. One classmate even said they were enthralled by it, so that felt pretty good. And by the way, were you able to get that last dump of crops from that comic before your connection shit the bed? Because I've still got them here if you weren't.

https://imgur.com/a/TCyM9

File: nausicaa24.jpg (20KB, 300x281px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 300x281px

>>745272232
Sustaining the same story for a long time gives me trouble too. I do much better with shorter ones. You might make it a goal to write two or three shorter stories throughout the month, if you planned them all out ahead of time.

>>745272404
This does seem like a good possibility.

Also, take note: my internet connection is still quite slow, and when I run out of small images I'm going to start posting with a text signature instead. Uploading the bigger ones is just too much of a hassle.

>>745272493
I'm so sorry Anon, I haven't been posting for the past few days. My internet disconnected itself and became too slow for me to solve the captchas. If I don't post by midnight EST, I'm not going to post at all.

Starbound is a sidescrolling adventure/construction game set in space. You can travel between planets and find all sorts of randomized aliens and terrains. There's an overarching storyline which you can follow if you desire, and some pretty epic bosses. It's a bit like Terraria, if you've heard of that.

My mom got back from the doctor and was informed she had a "mini-stroke" back in May. Apparently, there's some plaque buildup on either side of her throat and a small piece broke off and made it to her brain 4 months ago. She only really noticed a slight numbness in the right side of her face from time to time. She tells me it'll be fine, and removing the plaque will prevent another incident, but I worry. She's my mom, you know?

File: arbaaaa23.png (2KB, 56x56px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 56x56px

>Bust a cum after edging for maybe half an hour
>have to fart right before cum
>big fart but not shit level fart
>fart right before cumming
>like the two basically connect from end to end
>think it was gross because I’m not as degenerative as some on you fellas
>ruined my cum that I was working on
God fucking damnit

My wife died last night

>>745272654
Of course my our gonna worry. That's only natural. But from what you say, it looks like they found the problem, and they will correct it.

>>745272815
I'm sorry, anon.
What happened?

>>745272647

You shouldn't be sorry, technology is as easily out of our grasp as it is within our grasp. As I stated before I'm just happy I could finally share it. It's just silly of me to have become depnendent on an internet interaction... but it's just so soothing as compared to IRL interactions that are very filled with anxiety.

I think I have to check out both, haven't heard of terraria either, I mostly spend my time listening to and playing music. That and doing the occasional trip from time to time

She had cancer, she fought hard for 4 years.

File: 1boy 1girl armpits barefoot brown_eyes brown_hair cloud crossed_ankles eichikei_(hakuto) feet giantess gohei hair_ribbon hakama japanese_clothes light_smile long_hair out-of-frame_censoring pov_feet ribbon rib.png (1MB, 1499x500px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1499x500px

This thread's fairy for the evening is

>Samhain
The card of Samhain indicates powerful forces at work leading to endings, change, the completion of a cycle, dissolution, and winding down.

Autumn is upon us, Anonymous!

File: nausicaa44small.jpg (133KB, 1000x1415px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 1000x1415px

>>745272643
I didn't get any of them the other night, thanks for posting it again. I'll download them as soon as I can.

I'm doing okay. Little stressed; I've got a lot on my plate at the moment. I'm really glad your performance went well, I wasn't so sure about it from what you had said earlier. You seem like you got over your fears pretty well though.

>>745272654
I've never heard of anything like that happening before Anon, but it is pretty worrying. You keep an eye on her, and be ready to help her immediately if something goes wrong again. But if after a few weeks she shows no signs of anything happening again, you should be good.

I will note that I have zero medical training, and any medical advice from me should be taken with a spoonful of salt.

>>745272711
It happens, Anon. Sometimes it's just yuck, and you don't want to think about it. The next one will be better.

>>745272815
Damn. How are you handling it?

>>745273000
I understand how that is, Anon. Sometimes I have to force myself to go back out into the real world. It's good though, to get over anxiety and excel at interacting with humans. It's hard, but it is rewarding.

>>745273041
I bet you're proud of her.

>>745273041
How long were you married?

File: 004536 2212 X9X.jpg (116KB, 800x1149px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 800x1149px

>>745273121
Reimuuuuuu!
Wow, it's great to see you!
How's it going?

File: A926.jpg (113KB, 1252x1252px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 1252x1252px

>>745273121

File: 1girl _d alternate_costume black_hair casual cato_(monocatienus) collarbone contemporary cup hair_tubes holding long_hair looking_at_viewer mug open_mouth purple_eyes smile solo steam sweater touhou-bf51569647.jpg (85KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 800x800px

>>745273237
It's going well! I've had a pretty comfy day and I spent it the best way I can think of.

How about you?

>>745273123

I know it's good interacting IRL, I also do it with a select few. I've started on a musical course where I get to interact with a few new people once a week, and it's already bettered the situation by a lot.

So I guess it's just about staying the course, and then getting to go through the pain of remaining lonely in a social setting

Married for 10 years. I'm not handling it well. Friends and family are sleeping, at work or dealing with it themselves. I'm home alone atm and so depressed I'm talking about this on /b

File: A806.jpg (98KB, 1024x968px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 1024x968px

>>745273343

File: 1399300038870.jpg (1008KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1008KB, 1920x1080px

>>745273123
Thank you for the advice on my writing! While we're here too, how do I uhm, make friends? I had some irl ones that I fell out of touch with, I have refollowed some of their online accounts, and am trying to get myself to just start talking to them again. They followed me back, I know there's no ill will, but I feel like they resent me for just dropping off the face of the earth again. I have had issues holding on to relationships in the past, hoping to fix it and reconnect with the world, so to speak. Also would like to make new friends in general.

File: nausicaa99.jpg (60KB, 800x941px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 800x941px

>>745273353
You're moving in the right directions, Anon. Doing the right things.

Social settings of many types may always be difficult. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable at dances or parties, but I can get along really well with groups of less than ten people.

File: 1502272218647.jpg (3KB, 125x105px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 125x105px

I have twenty different mental disorders, and thus my mood fluctuate rapidly

One minute I can be happy one minute i can be sad

Really though I have a niece staying tonight, for the second night in a row and honestly I'm sick and tired of her presence.

But can't say anything, or fear my family hating me

>>745273343
Ah, I'm good here! I slept well. Getting ready to go to work in a bit. Then, at 06:00, the weekend begins!

>>745273526

For me it's like 5 unless I know somebody already there or it's a "trusted venue".

But it's just the fear of being... how do you say it ? indifferent ? No, that's what they feel. But it's the feeling of them feeling indifferent towards me that bothers me. Not that I want to leave a mark, but I want them to be comfortable with my company

>>745273563
I'm an introvert with zero mental energy myself, I would try escaping to the bathroom for a while is possible at the very least, if you can leaving might help? Go out for a treat, just to get some peace away from her.

>>745273563
Are you being treated for this?

>>745270797
die

I'm hurting really badly right now because my lover is a former escort. While I've known from the onset of our relationship, and it has always bothered me that he has had countless men before me (yeah, faggot), I think I finally broke today when I asked questions about his past, as in how much he charged, or if he spat or swallowed. What truly broke me was the fact that he slept with about 50 men during his disgusting "career." Things like that make you wonder if you're anything compared to all the men he slept with.

I'm not looking for reassurance on how little this actually matters, I just really needed to share this with someone. I can't even speak to him anymore and I can't help imagining other men with him, which kills me inside. I just want this to be over with, but I'm way too in love to break it. He is everything I ever wanted and loves me incredibly much, and I love him too, but this crushes me.

>>745273123
What's the matter, friendo? I know you pretty much always like to focus your energy here on helping other people with their issues, but I'd feel bad if I wasn't able to at least hear you out after everything you've done.

File: 1girl _d ascot boots bow cha_goma detached_sleeves hair_bow hair_ribbon hair_tubes headphones highres leaning_forward looking_at_viewer open_mouth petals ribbon ribbon-trimmed_sleeves ribbon_trim smile solo ta.png (1MB, 910x1500px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 910x1500px

>>745273699
Oh I see! It's the opposite for me, I'll be working all weekend. But I hope you'll have fun for me! Have a nice night at work too!

>>745273887
Wow. If you want to continue with him, you are going to have to accept his past. And be able to move on from there.

>>745270797
What was the best lesbian porn you ever watch??

>>745273887

If it's any consolidation to you, I had a girlfriend who slept with 8 men in one night, we were kind of inbetweens at the time me having someone else at the side and her being free. But she came back to me, even though she had the best fuck of her life with one of the guys.

Love is more than sex, and to the ones who are sought after, I guess the temptations might be bigger. But give them a chance, for if it is love, the sex is just a partial.

File: nausicaa110.jpg (32KB, 437x350px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 437x350px

>>745273375
Well, that's what I'm here for, Anon. To talk.

What aren't you handling well about it? Is she not holding up her side of the relationship?

>>745273493
If you're not sure if they resent you, ask them.

Just talk to them. Assume there's nothing wrong, because honestly, there probably isn't. You let it break down, you can fix it back up. You got this.

>>745273563
How much longer will she be there for, Anon? Your pain is finite. You don't need to completely internalize it, you can complain about it to me. But don't say anything to them if you fear being ostracized.

>>745273724
If you fear them being uncomfortable, you're thinking too much about them and not enough about yourself. Are you comfortable? Make yourself comfortable. If they can be comfortable too, that's nice.

>>745273800
die

>>745273887
If it really bothers you, is this going to work? Maybe you can get past it, maybe you can't. Maybe at some point you're going to have to force yourself to cut it off.

I'm sorry you're in this situation Anon, and I hope you can find a way out of it that isn't too painful.

>>745274018
I decided I wouldn't have any problems anymore. So I don't. I'm fine.

>>745274130
I dunno, are you looking for recommendations?

File: A953.jpg (796KB, 608x1070px) Image search: [Google]

796KB, 608x1070px

>>745274023

>>745274023
You'll get a day off eventually! My "weekends" used to be Monday and Tuesday, when I was new. And I learned to make the best of my free time.
And I always love having you in these threads!

>>745270797
Im drunk as fuk rinoaow.
Plz hugz.
Need nudes too.
Cuz hugz no posbl.
Plz giv luv. Need luv. Hav no luv rightnow.

I'm incapable of believing that my life holds any value.

That my existence itself is inherently and permanently worthless.

File: adorable-doggy-hug.jpg (109KB, 500x749px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 500x749px

>>745274443
Here you go.

>be me
>faggot emo 14 year old
>cut self, take pills and anything else for attention
>have caring but opinionated older sister
>always raised me because my parents are shit
>sister is in cosmetology school to get out of poverty state
>needs subject to test finals on
>she picks me so that I feel relevant
>go to her finals, she's painting my nails
>notices scars/cuts on my arms, doesn't say a word, and keeps my sleeves down
>we finish about an hour later, she takes me out for food
>few weeks pass by and she hasn't gone to state board for her license
>find her scoring paper on the kitchen counter
>she lost points for not pulling up my sleeves because I'm an emo faggot, has to take test again
>she never once accused me of making her fail
>sister can't take any more of my pedophile father
>she moves away, marries an abusive husband, cuts contact and changes as a person
>she never got her cosmetology license because of me, she's now living in a financial and emotional purgatory because I made things inconvenient for her
>whylive.jpg

>>745270797
Thought I was gonna be fucking someone tonight, but she's kinda flaking out. She also said I was 4/10, but who knows, maybe she's into me? Considering suicide.

Just found out that my girlfriend has been fucking her ex behind my back for the past 5 months. My neighbor told me and I confronted her. She confessed everything. Once she started confessing, she got very specific. She seemed to enjoy confessing it.

It wasn't just once. They've been fucking 2-3 times a week, sometimes in our bed while I'm at work. I nearly caught them in the act on multiple occasions. She said that he wasn't better in bed than me, it's just that she needs the thrill of sneaking around to get off. She said it was a huge rush cheating on me and she is hooked on the adrenaline of having sex while being sneaky. She told me that I've never mad her cum. Ever.

We've been together for 3 years. She said that her ex isn't the only boy she has slept with while we've been together. She has been cheating on me with some of my friends as well, but she won't say who.

I've never felt like this before. I feel like my identity has been stolen from me. My whole life is a lie.
I don't know how I'm going to get over this. I feel like dying.

>>745274468
I go through that too sometimes. Lot of us do. We don't always know the purpose or direction of life. But we can keep doing the next right thing until the answers come.

>>745274277

I guess you're right, but I think it's just my programming.

I've always been the one taking care of others, the only time I could break free of that role was on the internet, and that just turned horrible.

So I guess I'm afraid that my trolling ways will turn into a real life monstrosity of I start caring about myself in real life, and not taking care of others. That, and my problems seem... is obsolete the right word (?) as compared to the problems of others.

They just have it ten times harder than I have

>>745274104
I'm very aware of that, but it really isn't as simple as it sounds. I can't help but feel cucked.

>>745274205
That sounds insane, eight men is just crazy. Love is definitely more than sex, but one of the pleasures of having a lover is knowing that their body is yours (and vice versa) and that you are special for looking at it and having the, arguably, privilege to touch it. Well, not in my case. Everyone's touched it.

>>745274277
I want this to work so bad, and it will, I'm just hurting right now and can't get these bad thoughts out of my head. A wiser me would cut it off, but the hopeless romantic in me does not want to destroy such a beautiful relationship because of that.

Thank you guys for your words.

File: 1girl ^_^ apron bare_shoulders black_hair blush bow bowl closed_eyes detached_sleeves flame gaoo_(frpjx283) hair_bow hair_tubes heart highres ladle long_hair musical_note pot smile solo stew stove touhou yin_y.jpg (836KB, 1464x1922px) Image search: [Google]

836KB, 1464x1922px

>>745274408
Yes, you sure seem to! It's always nice to see you too, you're so positive. My days off correspond to my thread nights now, which is how I wanted it. I also get weekends off, but only every other weekend, and it's not my turn this time.

>>745273887
you must not be too bad as far as he's concerned since he's with you despite the opportunities he's had to spend his life with someone else. you can't undo his past and neither can he. all both of you can do is look forward. hopefully you can overcome this and both of you can look forward instead of into the past.

>>745274739
It's not a thing I'm going through. I can't ever believe that my life holds value.

There hasn't been a single point in my life where I was capable of that. For a long time I didn't even know it was a problem.

File: A683.jpg (37KB, 425x558px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 425x558px

>>745274795
Stream is ready shu shu

File: 1466777713578.jpg (46KB, 390x424px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 390x424px

It's one of those nights.
Good to see people are feeling better and getting help, though

>>745274795
Thank you! It means we are both busy. And that's good! And does thread nights off mean we will see more of your Threads? I hope so!

I'm unhappy with my life.

>>745272180
Does it bother you or what?

>>745274787

Yeah, the eight men in one go was insane, and it was strictly against my morals. But I just had to give her a second chance, that resulted in the 3 most happy years of my life.

We broke it off because I have my issues, but I know for certain she never cheated on me, she just couldn't handle my drama, we've had a talk a year after the break up where she told me what was happening in her life, and she still hasn't found a new love.

Even though it's hard, and he's been an escort, I think he deserves a chance at love. Who knows, maybe you fill out his holes in his life better than his job did ?

File: 1girl ^_^ alternate_color black_hair bow closed_eyes hair_bow hair_tubes mochizuki_ado open_mouth player_2 smile solo touhou yukkuri_shiteitte_ne-1ce00035cb36f3237cc000887e93168f.jpg (87KB, 1100x1000px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 1100x1000px

>>745275033
That's exactly what it means!

>>745274602
This was not your fault. Nor hers. Do not blame yourself. Instead, focus your energy on being supportive of your sister. She needs someone who loves her, that she can count on now.

File: orgasm-reaction-face.jpg (20KB, 270x349px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 270x349px

>>745275130

File: nausicaa48.jpg (7KB, 188x240px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 188x240px

>>745274443
*Hugs you tightly*

I can't give you much more than that, Anon. But I'll listen if you want to talk about things. I care about you, and I want you to feel better.

>>745274468
What scale are you thinking on? Because on a cosmic scale, or even on the scale of a state, you mean nothing.

But on a more local scale, within your community, you mean a lot. You're worth a lot. That's important.

>>745274602
Damn. Things suck for her, Anon. And for you too. Guilt can grow to be too much, even over little things. This is a big thing.

You can't let your guilt consume you. You need a way to cope with it. The past is done, and no amount of worrying will change it. You have moved on now. You're past that. You're different, she's different. All that matters now is the present and the future. Don't forget, but don't let the past consume you.

>>745274636
Why are you considering suicide, Anon? Are you basing your self-worth on how reliable your date is?

>>745274656
1. Get away from that girl, and never go back to her. Even if you love her. She'll do it again and again, and it will continue to destroy you.
2. After you get away from her, you can start moving on. It'll be hard, and you're going to feel like absolute shit for a while. But that will pass. This misery is not a constant state. It's a necessary stage as you survive and grow.

>>745274769
I see what you mean. What I said could easily devolve into total narcissism. I think I have...

Don't dismiss your own problems. They're more important, because they're yours. You should worry about them first.

>>745274787
Well, maybe you can pull something good out of this. Maybe you can get past that. Don't focus on his past, don't talk to him about it. Is he still an escort?

>>745274963
How are you doing?

>>745275074
Why? Do you know why?

>>745275078
It did once, but it doesn't anymore. Carry on. But do tell me, why? I still want to know.

>>745275074
Why's that, anon?

holly shit you are determinate in responding to everyone

>>745275217
I've been better.
Things were going good today but then I just started thinking about a few things that got me a little down.
How are you, though? Seems like you're a little swamped with all these questions and such, haha

File: A035 when-you-forget-you-are-reimu.jpg (22KB, 474x333px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 474x333px

>>745275130
Stream

File: 445655 8878765 98223.jpg (130KB, 1200x780px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 1200x780px

>>745275130
Oh, that's great news!
>>745275217
Ok, I'm heading off to work, but I'll check in when I can! Good to see you here, as always!

>>745275217
>>745274636
She's the first and only person to show interest in me and I thought it was really going somewhere. She's straight up 9/10 too, so I'm hurtin.

File: 1girl _q ascot black_hair bow brown_eyes detached_sleeves dress hair_bow hair_tubes heart marshmallow_mille one_eye_closed pose red_dress smile solo spoken_heart tongue tongue_out touhou twitter_username-6604e.png (317KB, 600x637px) Image search: [Google]

317KB, 600x637px

>>745275319
It's pretty nice!

>>745270948
No. But you may want to think about killing yourself. It's evident that not only are you so emotionally fragile that you let it get to you, but you're also too fucking stupid to find a better avenue for advice. You seem like a tremendous pussy.

>b-b-b-but w-wh-why are you here then
I'm here because I want to crank my hog to some anime butts.

>>745274899
Well, it does have value.
And if you can't find any other reason, then it's simply because I said it does.
Start there.

>>745275217

I don't think I understand what you mean in the "devolving into narcissism" part.

But my uncle used to have a saying, "Burn your own loo before the others". I think that is what I need to do

Yay, someone sent me nachos and wine :)

Where bart at

File: image.jpg (42KB, 703x513px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 703x513px

>>745270797
Reminder that there's an anon out there who has a /b/ support line/email specifically for this purpose!

Save this image for future use, just in case.

File: nausicaa52.jpg (9KB, 187x270px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 187x270px

>>745275319
I try.

Are you impressed, or disturbed by my apparent autism?

>>745275323
Nah, I can handle the questions fine. It's sometimes hard to tell which anon is which when they respond to my comments, but I can usually figure it out. Good to hear that you've been better. Sometimes the bad thoughts come, and you can't stop them. It's often better to let them happen and work them out so that you can eventually feel better and move on from them. But sometimes you can just block them out with music or games.

>>745275456
Take care, Mantis. Thank you for coming, it means a lot to me.

>>745275463
She was using you, Anon. You were the one she could hide things from, to get her cheap thrills. It's going to hurt. I'm sorry, but nothing can change that. You can only hope the pain will stop soon, and you'll find someone else.

>>745275591
You do what you think is best, Anon. I'll trust you on this one. Nachos and wine sound pretty nice.

>>745275611
Dunno, who's Bart?

>>745275622
I had no idea. Thanks for telling us, Anon.

>>745275217
Hey anon, I'm a volunteer in another country and have to live with a group of 5 girls for a year. We have been living together for a week now. Today they told me that they think I'm weird (f.e. because I sometimes laugh because I thought of something funny and the people around me don't get it or because I have a very 4chan-like humor). I really can't stand some of them, but they are all a big group. What can I do to not end up as an outsider?

File: A683.jpg (40KB, 615x400px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 615x400px

>>745275544

>>745275622
literally who?

>>745270797
Hey baby, back again to romance you.

>>745275696
Thank you, and I'll try to work through the thoughts, they're mainly just long term things and stuff that I just have to deal with, but I'd rather talk with you when you don't have as much on your plate, even if you handle them well!

>>745275696

It's the best gift I had in my months, now I just have to find out who sent them :)

But yeah, I trust I can handle this too if I pull myself together.

File: 1502062263359.gif (2MB, 423x359px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 423x359px

>>745275217
wost advise I had ever read, please kill yourself

>>745276108
alicefag detected

File: nausicaa23.jpg (11KB, 288x216px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 288x216px

>>745275738
You may need to try to get with the popular culture of their generation. It's difficult, but if you can find out what websites they frequent or their favorite shows or books, you can pick it up pretty quickly. Once you've got that down, they should relate you more.

>>745275779
Oh no! What will that entail?

>>745275845
This is what I do when my mind gets too busy. I force out the things that are bothering me with the problems of other people. It's pretty good when I need to come at something with a fresh mind.

But it's true that when I'm busier I'm more distracted, and it's harder to focus on this. So I don't blame you.

Have a good one Anon, and thank you.

>>745276096
Some gifts are best left anonymous. Maybe it's better to wonder, just this time.

You got this. You're going to pull yourself together, and you're going to get this right.

>>745276108
Okay.

>>745275696
>>745275463
Well we weren't really in a relationship you see. It's really a weird situation. We're just friends, but we were gonna fuck today. I don't really see a relationship coming out of it, but if one does then cool, I just kinda wanted the experience y'know? I can't really explain it, it feels like I'm hurting over nothing but I feel deep down there is something. I never did have much confidence in myself, so maybe now that I got the courage to make moves I was just broken when I got let down. I want to cry, but I just can't. It's not sad enough, just depressing.

File: nausicaa56.jpg (57KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 400x400px

>>745276262
You had more riding on this encounter in your mind than you realize. It became really important to you, and now that it looks like it isn't going to work, it feels like the culmination of all your efforts is failure.

The key here is to move on after having felt miserable, and to try again. You can't let your confidence be held down permanently by this.

>>745276108
i dont know why but this gif is hilarious to me. it might have something to do with the speed the gif plays at, if it was normal speed or slower i would not be laughing like this

>>745276435
I'm sure I'll get past it eventually, but god this really brought me down. I feel like my self image went from dateable to outsider.

>>745276262

Back in the day I had to make MANY a move to get with a girl, that was down to me being inexperienced and not having a rumor within my local enviroment. Women talk, and they talk a lot about things slike sex and who are good partners, I'm sure, that if you get just ONE to go with you, you'll get a lot better. So don't stop trying over this, this was a flunk, and it always will be, but there are many others you can pick up along the way.

>>745276213
So about that date we agreed on. Anything you want to do? Coffee? Smooch? The works

File: 516cbaa391f49093729548666a3180a7.png (438KB, 584x461px) Image search: [Google]

438KB, 584x461px

>>745270797
i'm good my neighbor let me hit the pen i'm high as fuck lifes good no complaints here fam

File: nausicaa25.jpg (20KB, 221x300px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 221x300px

>>745276847
Your self image shouldn't change at all. You are what you think of yourself, not what your missing date might think.

>>745276889
Let's have both.

>>745276944
Sounds nice. But outside of that? When you come back down, what happens next?

>>745276213

Maybe I shouldn't pursue who it was that sent me it.
It's probably better just to be thankful that someone is looking out for me in the end, and not knowing who it is. I've always wished for a guardian angel

>>745270797
Hey fenn, Z again, still stuck....need help

>>745277107
I know it shouldn't change and it's unhealthy for me to let it, but it just made me re-evaluate myself. I thought I was good enough and wasn't. I had great expectations that were within my grasp and they've just been stripped from me just for the nature of my being.

File: 2efb47ea8d518d247ed4df272a156c2a.png (700KB, 880x1125px) Image search: [Google]

700KB, 880x1125px

Its time

File: nausicaa22.jpg (12KB, 219x300px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 219x300px

>>745277180
It really is. If you don't know who sent it, you can always be looking forward to something similar happening when you least expect it. You can't predict what they might do.

It's kind of nice. Enjoy it, because who knows? Maybe that's it, and it won't happen again. Sure feels good though, doesn't it?

>>745277107
Alright, getting further than the rest of you virgins here heheeh

File: VuJTMnn.jpg (5KB, 249x250px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 249x250px

>>745277107
go to work make money come home rinse repeat live happy life till die :D

>>745275217
I think I'm just retarded s;

>>745277384

It sure made my day better at least, I'm just happy I hadn't gone to bed, because then it'd have been a waste, it must be someone that knows me.

If this happens in the future, I don't know what I'll do

File: ROPE.png (690KB, 809x652px) Image search: [Google]

690KB, 809x652px

>Want to talk about shit
>Family and friends don't give a shit
>Only person here responding is busy and I'd feel guilty just ranting
Fuck

File: 84c44aa7c6ad1bca2a21018603cbea2b.jpg (58KB, 511x636px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 511x636px

>>745277634
You're anon, say what you like!

>>745277634

I can listen, but I give bad advice

File: nausicaa53.jpg (5KB, 306x165px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 306x165px

>>745277313
Alright. What can I do to help? Do you need motivation?

>>745277317
You're thinking in the wrong terms, Anon. It's not "being good enough" that determines how it's going to work out. It's a lot of luck, and a thousand factors you have no control over. If you're telling yourself that you're "good enough" or "not good enough", you're going to crash hard eventually.

Let this one sting for a while. It'll pass. You'll move on, and you'll become stronger for it. Where you were injured, a scar will form.

>>745277325
Spam the thread to death.

>>745277423
Good. Don't let us hold you back.

>>745277468
Pretty much. Are you satisfied?

>>745277519
Is that a bad thing?

>>745277532
Enjoy it then, too. Just let the little things happen as they come. Don't prepare for them. If they don't work out, it's not a big deal. If they do, it's a nice happy little thing.

>>745277634
Rant. Let it all out. Now.

>>745277743
Me too, Anon. Me too.

File: 798852e0db59b0e1bd4f03bb9502782a.png (1014KB, 945x1165px) Image search: [Google]

1014KB, 945x1165px

>>745277876
She's so pretty

>>745277876
Motivation to get me through this next week and just....I feel like a complete failure at life....I fucked up so bad today

>>745277876

No, you don't give bad advice, you give passive advice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ETFI2U9RA

>>745277691
>>745277743
>>745277876
Alright
I've just been feeling like a fucking shit these past few weeks
I'm almost 20, a kissless virgin, never had a girlfriend, only had two jobs, have 1 friend and about 2 more that are just extras because I'm friends with that one person.
I've been playing guitar for 9 years and I've never written a full song, I don't drink, smoke, I have no social groups, and all that I've got going for me is exercising recently, having the ability to play guitar, and hoping that I come out of college with decent enough knowledge to help me.
I have OCD and that fucks with me a lot in terms of thinking and making choices, I feel like I have fucking nobody to talk to and vent to besides strangers on here, and any time I make a change in my life, even if I keep at it for weeks and months, nothing helps and I end up back where I started.

>>745278222

If I were to determine anything, I'd say it hasn't been like this all your life, it just feels like it. Am I right ?

Have you tried going to musical classes at a community college ? Or any other social and more or less volountary setting ?

File: d82232d889ada918f58b362151971d44.png (584KB, 1200x858px) Image search: [Google]

584KB, 1200x858px

>>745278222
Well anon that is 2 jobs and 1 friend more than a number of people at your age.
I wont baby you, you clearly know at your age it's time to grow up but you are still young, a lot can happen, just keep trying things, even the mediocre can open doors my friend.

>>745270797
I'm a suicidal dysphoric person. My dad keeps pissing money away. I'll never find myself attractive or worthy of love. Nobody in my life acts in a way that doesn't make me feel worse. I have nothing to look forward to. I wish I could not exist.

>>745270797
my dad is high as fuck right now on prescribed meds.

>>745277317
>>745277876
Thanks for all the advice, anon. Very helpful. I'll try to think more positively about this whole situation. I fear that when I get past the denial, it'll still be ringing in the back of my head that I'm not attractive though. I never thought I was that much of a looker, but I guess finally hearing my visions be confirmed was just a spike in the chest.

>>745278404
No, growing up I had no more than 1 friend at a time, and I'm not exaggerating. I'd have that friend for a few years, they'd either move or find different friends, and then I'd try and find another one.
This friendship I have now is the longest one I've had, throughout highschool and up till now.
I'm taking some singing classes at my regular college right now, and tried signing up for a musician's club - but every person in the singing group is antisocial as fuck, and the musician's club doesn't exist anymore.
>>745278469
I know that the maturing thing has to come soon, and I'm trying to try more things and better myself, but each time I sink time in and improve something about myself, it doesn't seem to help at all, it's just another thing

>>745278222
Have you ever had therapy for the OCD?

File: nausicaa45crop.jpg (31KB, 354x321px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 354x321px

>>745277965
She's a Touhou girl. Pretty is all she needs to be, so she's pretty good at it.

>>745278013
You're not a complete failure, Z. Whatever you did, it will not end the world, or your life. You can move past it, no matter how bad it is. It might be hard, but you can.

>>745278056
Yeah.

>>745278114
I approve. Thank you, those are beautiful. Are you the one that posted this a few threads back? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1kuLtfJxJo

>>745278222
You don't seem to be doing too bad to me, Anon. You can play an instrument without writing music. There's nothing wrong with that. Some people have just a few strong friends, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

You could use your music as a social outlet; as >>745278404 said, you might go to a class, or find or form a music club of some kind.

Can you talk to your one friend about things? If the OCD is too big a problem, you may need to talk to a therapist about it. Sometimes they can really help a lot with things like that.

>>745278532
You're in a bad place and around the wrong people, Anon. You need to look within yourself, and be satisfied in your own mind about the things you've done and how you look. In this situation, if you rely on others to determine how good you look or how worthwhile you are, you're going to be miserable.

>>745278574
Is that bad?

>>745278613
When you get past that denial, you will spring up again and start thinking better about yourself. You will move on past this, and disregard whatever her reasons may have been. You wanted to believe that you are ugly and worthless, but I'm telling you that's wrong. You need to really want to believe the opposite. That's where you'll find confidence.

>>745274536
Pupperz help
Jus drnk cand typ.
Havinnbad tym.
Shit juz sux so bad.
Fuk capchz ynow?

>>745278574
Is he taking them as prescribed?

>>745278532
Everything in my life causes me anguish in some way or another. I could be on about 4 different meds including hrt but I worry about organ damage, mood effects and lowering an already abysmal sense of agency and metabolism. I didn't graduate HS and apparently I can't even drice very well. Wish I owned a gun.

>>745278733

No more than one friend ? Did it fulfill you ?

I cried all through school today, can I have a hug?

>>745270797
I am very drunk with a friend.
I need something to put my dick in, just being real.

>>745278837

I've been here ever since the tobias picker post I started with, if you like that one this will definitely be for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_shhU_H5Z0

I've been here ever since my first shroom trip actually. I don't know why, but my speed abuse got substituted with abuse of social interaction with you

>>745278837
I know it won't be the end of the world but...just I've had so many setbacks my live is just one failure after another. I barely find joy in the army anymore, and it's something I've always dreamed of being a part of

File: fd970bd670910fb5717124bd16ddf960.png (423KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 1000x1000px

>>745278733
Well don't wait on it, maturity is just something you do not what happens to you (in this sense) Im sure you'll take it in your stride as long as you keep on caring anon.

>>745278837
Don't be rude about the girls I dump porn off pls :(

>>745278782
Not yet. I've been trying to set up an appointment with my doctor to get that in check, as well as seeing a nutritionist about my undereating and general meal plans
>>745278837
I know there's nothing wrong with it, really, but I always feel stifled because I've never been able to express myself.
The way my OCD handles it is -
I find a song I like, I relate to it, I learn it, I try to express myself through it, but I can't express myself because it's not my song, I try to write a song, I can't do it, so then I just feel like shit.
My one friend has felt more and more distant this past year, and I don't really feel like I can talk to him a lot about it.
>>745278938
I mean, having that one friend each year or two was good, but I never felt a real connection and friendship in the long term because they just left out of nowhere or cut ties
>>745279252
Thanks

Me 25, Transgender newly out of the closet in April not yet on Estorogen
Going out with the love of my life for the past 8 1/2 years.
Wife found out I cheated on her years ago with her best friend, Leaves me a month ago.
Passive suicidal, depressed, ADHD and extremely lucky since 12 (right around the time I noticed puberty had betrayed me.)
Ride a Honda super bike at 250km/h+ in the dark almost every night since she left.
Been thinking about suicide for 10+ years, Always stop myself because of feelings of guilt and thoughts of "It will get better."
Been smoking weed since 12, every day since I was 18. I like the numb it gives me. The contentment I feel about being unhappy about my body goes away.
I hold peoples opinions of myself WAYYY to high. I literally cried last night when someone I look up too told me the thing I made was beautiful.
I have repeated every shitty word, every shitty situation over and over again in my head, now I can only think of myself those ways.
I never did care about my future before I came out, I was going to school for something I hated, talking to people that I didn't like, and wasting my life away.
When I finally did come out, I could see a future for myself, I was going to be the nurse I had always wanted to be.
I was going to do something with my life. And until recently I was still trying to achieve that goal.
But now it feels like I am never going to be good enough, I'm going to fail and fuck it all up so why even bother trying.
I'm a piece of shit that deserves to die. I think about killing myself like not turning out the lights. Sure its going to suck energy for awhile. But after the light burns our or the battery dies and the initial shock is over, no one would give a shit about me. I am only a foot note on peoples lives, I'm hated, everyone either thinks I am either a faggot or a pervert, I don't feel like playing this game anymore. (life) Its just a big fucking waste of energy. I feel like this is the only good answer.

>>745279324

I'm sorry to hear you feel disconnected, are you used to disappointment and dismiss social interaction altogether ?

>>745279479
No, I try to be social, like talking with people in my classes, going on sites like Tinder and meeting new people, but often times it leads nowhere
Socially, the first real, actual friend I met in Freshman year of high school, so as a kid I didn't really have anybody.

>>745279413
may i ask what kinds of things you make or what you made that was beautiful?

>>745279609

I wouldn't consider tinder as being social, it's more one of those modern demotivating factors beause you can do everything with a swipe. And it steals a lot of one of my friends time when he's socially interacting with us, just as a sidenote.

Do you have a certain expectation to a meeting ?

File: nausicaa73.jpg (56KB, 598x608px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 598x608px

>>745279055
*hugs you tightly*

Why were you crying, Anon?

>>745279069
Your friend is going to be a better bet than me, Anon.

>>745279083
I mean, it's not the worst thing you could be doing. But talking to some fag on 4chan is really not the optimal situation either.

>>745279131
Life is a series of setbacks, interspersed with brief successes. You have to live through all of it. You'll keep moving. You will survive, and grow stronger. This may be the lowest point; hopefully everything gets better from here.

But Z, I'm worried that you need more help than I can give you. Does the army have a psychiatrist or therapist on the payroll that you could visit?

Could you ask for temporary leave to deal with these issues, or do you think that would set the progress you've made back further?

>>745279324
Hm. I know how you feel, and it's not a good feeling.

If I knew how to get past it, I would have myself. I wish I could express myself too, Anon.

New friends would help. Where might you find some?

>>745279413
But Anon, the person you look up to still cares. Not everyone hates you. I don't, for what that's worth.

You need to mean something to yourself, even if you value the opinions of others too highly. You need to start caring about how you feel about things, and keep focusing on your future and how to bring it about.

You still have your goal, right? Becoming a nurse? Keep at it. You're good enough now, and soon you'll be even better. You got this.

>>745279783
True with the Tinder thing, and usually, I don't have huge expectations.
If the person is nice, great, if they're not, I'll find someone else. I just don't have a lot of places to meet people since I don't live on campus, there aren't many groups around, and I'm not too well socially versed.
>>745279924
That's what I'm trying to figure out now - how to get new friends that are good people and have the same interests that aren't just online friends

>>745279618
He is a glass blower and has an extra torch that I have been playing around with. I made a few small flower marbles.

>>745279924
They do but....going to see them would just destroy any progress I've made and make me look weak in front of my peers

>>745279924

Nah, I know. But I haven't got much other fags to talk to in real life, and I don't know where to meet them. The gay bars have moved a lot in my current city. The last fag I had to talk to died on me because of aids, and now I don't know where to turn myself around anymore.

My friends are very understanding, but they're not fags, so... it's not really a win-win. In one way or the other they're not fags.

This is just my escape with my wine. So yeah, I guess I have to learn to socialise

>>745280034

The thing with being socially versed is an experience thing, unless something else hinders you.

You have OCD, is it crippling, or can you manage to bustle around ?

File: nausicaa10.jpg (11KB, 310x201px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 310x201px

>>745280034
If there aren't many groups around, maybe you can make some groups of your own. Could you start a casual band or something?

Social skills will get better with practice, but getting that practice is hard.

>>745280088
That's pretty cool. I've never really understood how beautiful little glass things are made. They all seem intricate and mysterious, even the simplest little figures and marbles.

>>745280102
Post more. Bump the thread to death.

>>745280232
Would it really? Are you sure? Maybe once you've gotten some real help you'll finally have the strength to stand up beside your peers, and move on in the world.

>>745280289
Learning to socialize will help. Is talking to non-gays just not fulfilling? Can you not relate to them enough?

I hope you can find someone Anon, but I don't have any suggestions on where to look. I'm just as lost here as you are.

>>745270797
I'm tired. Deep down in my soul tired. I'm tired of people and dealing with them. I'm tired of living one day ahead of homelessness, driving a shit car and living in a shoebox. I want to stop being. I want to be relieved of the monotony and loneliness and hate in me. but I can't kill myself. I have had the gun in my mouth and I can't do it. I have no will to continue but I can't do it.

>>745280432

It's fulfilling enough to keep a few close entrusted, but it's just not the same.

They don't know the struggle if you know what I mean.

It's sort of like this gangsta rapper being put into an all white community without having had a chance to prepare, he's just lost and misplaced.

File: fe57379e0b05bd80013716063de4d851.jpg (126KB, 700x988px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 700x988px

>>745280432
Why would you want that? I just want to dump pretty girls

>>745280396
No, I can get around and work just fine, but sometimes It'll just be hard to focus or I'll get hung up on something that'll get me down for a while
>>745280432
The thing is with the band thing - the 1 friend I have at the moment is in a band with me, it's just me and him. He plays guitar, sings, writes the songs, and I'm behind the drums and usually driving.
I feel like I'm not getting anything that I want to say out, and I don't enjoy most of the music.
He's a good guy, but he can be cynical and can have this holier-than-thou attitude

>>745280432
The army like to say there's no stigma with seeking psychiatric help but there is....they won't let you deploy and every one around you just sees someone who did it to get out of things

>>745280088
oh that sounds really cool!

i dont really think there is an answer for your problems. i've had depression and suicidal feelings on and off since i was a child and there's not really an answer. my best friend has had suicidal depression as long as i've known him, and there's not really an answer.

it's really painful and frustrating that there's no real answer. i think the reason we all don't end our lives is the hope that things will get better. and the reason i urge others to not end their lives is because it's always possible to make things better. but i dont think things get better on their own. we have to find out how to make it better for ourselves.

you're going through some real stinky shit right now. i do hope you find a way to make things better for yourself. i don't know you and i'm just an anonymous asshole on the internet, but if i met you i wouldn't hate you. i wouldn't care even if you did want to suck a dick. you could confess the most fucked up peverted thing to me and i would smile and try my best to one-up you.

i'm sorry myself and nobody in this thread will have any kind of answer for you that's poignant or somehow changes everything.

i think you should have this glass blowing senpai of yours teach you some of what he knows so you can make more beautiful things. it won't change everything but i think it will help you keep your mind busy and feel good about yourself, and you'll get to spend more time with someone you like and who seems to appreciate you.

>>745279924
I had a really bad day. My car wouldn't start again and everyone was just in general a shitty mood

>>745280674

Maybe the "getting caught up"-part is what puts people off a little. People are afraid of what they don't know. Do you present yourself as one with OCD ?

Ever since I got diagnosed with schizophrenia I tell people when I meet them that I am schizophrenic, and that I might seem a little indifferent towards them, but it's not their fault, it's because I'm emotionally flattened. And I've only been accepted with open arms whenever I do it. It helps a lot to confront people with what they don't know or understand, because as in starship troopers, they want to know more

>>745279924
(future nurse)

Thanks OP. I do appreciate the gesture. Its hard to break old habits, to start to care about things. I have spent years running away from what I wanted. I thought It would be elementary and middle school all over again but way worse as an adult. I am only recently discovering that there are good people out there, like yourself. You took the time out of your day/evening to try and cheer someone like me up. Its nice to know that I'm not alone with my struggles, To know I don't have to contain it all to myself. I have a therapist but I haven't even told her about how suicidal I have been because of fear of getting locked up in the hospital...

>>745280903
Usually people wouldn't guess unless I told them, it's mainly just stuff in my head, not behaviours or rituals that are noticable

>>745280978

Maybe a huge step could be presenting it to them, that'll make sure they aren't caught off guard by you "zoning out a little".

It's a huge step, I know, It took me one and a half years to get into that state of mind that I needed to do it. But it helped me in the end.

Now what's that with your friend and you not liking his music and you not getting a say ?

File: maxresdefault.jpg (44KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 1280x720px

>be me
>social pressure from friends and even some family to get a gf
>go to a school with girls I think I may have a chance with
>meet the one, 9/10 instantly click with her
>start talking, we have a ton in common
>FF to valentines day
>see other couples around school, then meet with 9/10
>ask her to go out on a date sometime
>"Anon, you know I'm a lesbian, right?"
>fuckingwhat.mp4
>literally didn't know she was lesbian
>never even brought it up in passing conversations
>never before and never since have I wanted to kill myself more

>>745280960

They DON'T want to lock you up, they want to help you. You might have to be hospitalized for a little while, but they'll let you out again. And I think the worst your doctor would suggest is therapy if you tell you're suicidal, unless you're immediately threatened.

The only reason I was hospitalized with my schizophrenia was because I was immediately threatened by suicide, having commited a suicide attempt the same night, otherwise they would've medicated me and put me in therapy

>>745280437
I'm tired too, Anon. I'm tired of similar things. Nothing in my house works when it's supposed to, it feels like a dump no matter how much I clean up. Every time I think I've been careful out in the woods I still end up getting cut or stung or covered in poison ivy. Can't catch a break.

Only available option is forward. It might be slow, but you have to keep moving. It's the only way to go.

>>745280547
Hm, okay. I see. Would having just one or two close gay friends be enough?

>>745280674
Hm. Does he know that you don't enjoy what you're playing? If you want it to change, make that known. If you're not getting anything out of it, quit if you can. Don't just be a tool for him.

>>745280743
But if it helps you enough, it'll be worth the trouble it causes. And if the other men know you well enough, they'll realize that you really did need it. Right?

>>745280889
That sucks. Those days happen, and there's not much you can do about it.

>>745280960
There are many good people out there, Anon. I'm far from one of them. Don't lose faith in humanity just yet. Habits can be broken, but you're right, it's very hard.

I'll try to do this as often as I can, but don't rely on me alone to help you with this. I'm hardly an adequate solution. You need to tell your therapist more, so she can help you more. If you're worried about getting put away, don't tell her the full extent of your suicidal feelings. But if you minimize them when you talk about them, she might be able to help.

>>745281273
Holy shit.

That came from out of nowhere.

Damn Anon, that's a hard one to deal with. But it's hardly something to die over. You got close to her, you had ambitions. You got a good friend. Suddenly, it looks like things you were hoping would come to pass will never happen. It feels bad, but you can move past that. Hopefully you can remain friends with her, but if it's too painful you might stop seeing her for a while.

This is not the end, Anon.

>>745281182
The music's alright, kind of indie rock which I don't mind. It's just that the music is about his life and what he's done and the way that my brain and OCD work is that it just always gets me down because I'm not writing music or saying anything
Plus, when I told him that because of early morning college classes, I might not be able to play some later shows in crappy bars that I drive him and the gear over an hour to and we don't get paid a cent for, he got defensive and claimed he was doing all the work

File: nausicaa50.jpg (8KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 225x225px

>>745281473
Oops. Image.

>>745281283
Bump it to the limit. Come on.

>>745281473
>>745281475
Meant to reply with that too, but I've known this guy for years, he's my best friend, and leaving the band seems kind of like a dick move
I enjoy some of the music but creatively, financially, or opprotunity wise, it's not doing anything for me

File: nausicaa4.jpg (24KB, 400x339px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 400x339px

>>745281547
I think the solution here is to talk to him about it. He needs to understand how you feel about this, and he can't do that if you won't explain it. You're right. Suddenly dropping out would be a dick move. But it does seem like he's being kind of bitchy.

>>745281475

Sounds like he has gotten into a sorta "alpha role" from you not pushing back.

Now, you might lose him from this, but don't let him walk over you, if he steps, you pull back, you should step again instead. If he doesn't understand that, he's not worth it, and you'll find others, but don't take shit.

One of my friends used to have a small powertrip too because of certain dynamics in our relationship, we had a long talk about it, and he understood that things needed to change for the better so we could still remain together.

What I'd recommend you do is talk to him about it and ask what is up with that "I pull the lever", because you're the one with the car, and he'll realise that

>>745281473
I...don't know honestly. I've heard so many negative things about going to behavioral health.

And nobody really knows me. They know the fake me that always has a fake smile on my face. I can still barely socialize with these people

>>745281473
>>745281525

Just one gay friend would help, just someone that knows the struggle and how it is to fall in love with your hetero friends.

The only person I have close to that is a transexual, but he's so far up his own arse that I couldn't be bothered to try and get close to him

>>745281726
I'll try talking with him, and trying to figure things out
>>745281859
It's less of that, I think that he thinks we're equal minded about the project, but honestly, it's not going anywhere. He's alright at guitar, but his singing is a bit off, and we've been at this for 3 years
If he does anything like that again, I'll just tell him those kinds of things, because without me, he honestly wouldn't have had a single song completed because I mixed them together and played on them all

>>745274277
Great, now MY internet is the one that's acting up. And that sounds a little bit ridiculous to me. It's impossible for anybody to not have any kind of problems at some point. And to deny it and just bury your feelings when you're hurting will only cause them to turn to bile and rot inside of you. I won't be insistent, but I really wish you would open up a little bit, because I know there have been nights where you probably wanted to say something too but simply chose not to.

>>745280886
You are very right. I get so nervous around him because of how much I respect him. He is an amazing person that always seems to have time for me. I think I might have killed myself by now if it wasn't for him opening up his house to me. I haven't told him any of this but he does know I'm trans. I hope to meet you one day anon, you seem like a really cool person.

>>745277876
Dunno you tell me s;

File: nausicaa54.jpg (10KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 225x225px

>>745281860
One good way to get in with people is to ask them for advice. It's like taking them into your confidence without revealing much. Are there any little things you can ask someone for advice about, that might get you closer together? If there's a part of your emotional trouble you could talk casually about, that would be best.

Getting real help is looking like a better option every time we talk, Z. I'm getting more and more worried about you. I don't want you see you hold yourself down and let yourself be crushed by your problems because you're too afraid to get them fixed.

>>745282023
Keep looking, Anon. The right friend is out there, and you could meet them tomorrow. Be open to finding them.

They could be in a place you don't expect. They could take some warming up to.

>>745282155
Good luck. I hope you can come to some kind of agreement about the music and the work behind it. Hopefully he will understand.

>>745282193
Yeah. Basically, a couple of months ago I started holding everything in, and only a little bit of the bile leaked out around the edges occasionally. It's been fermenting for a while, and it will continue to do so until I bloat up and explode.

I don't know how to "open up" anymore. I don't have anything to say about myself. Even if I did, I wouldn't know how to say it.

Sorry.

>>745282358
I don't know either.

>>745282155

It's just about pushing back a little, not flipping your lid of course, but pushing back a little.

That's a good way of demanding respect as opposed to outright demanding it

>>745282497
Thanks so much.
Having anybody to talk to like this really does help
>>745282532
Gotcha, and I assumed it would be like that, haha
Thank you as well, having someone like this is just amazing

>>745282497

Now, would you please recommend me a piece of muic over this gay talk ? Because I've gotten a little worn out from gregorian chants :)

>>745279618
First time posting anything here, I needed to find a way to make my image less than 2MB

File: IMG_20170901_094838.jpg (34KB, 388x449px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 388x449px

>>745281473
Yeah man, I know. But I've got a bit of a rough history with lesbians. Another greentext inbound.
>be me
>friends with trans who hasn't come out
>from sources I'm led to believe she has come out as trans
>find out her and another friend of mine are going to the same school
>tell friend about trans friends secret
>FF to September
>3 Day weekend, tired as fuck because I went down 2 hours south for a little meet up with some of my buds
>get a text
"hey I told TransAnon about the trans thing. Ur fucked lmao"
>immediately skeptical, ask him to send screenshots
>madman fucking sends them
>holy shit they're real
>my sleepy ass is freaking out
>keeps sending me angry texts about beating the shit out of me
>seriously can't tell if he's joking or not
>get scared for my own life
>decide to take my own life before he can
>almost kill myself
>mom catches me
>she's driven to the brink of tears
>tell her I'm fine, but she goes the extra mile
>spend the rest of my 3 day weekend plus Monday In a Looney bin
>While I'm in there I become friends with a guy who nearly blew up his school and was somewhat crushing on a girl who I think was in there for having a run in with the law
>find out Tuesday she told the principal
>for reference, we have a cop on school grounds, make sure nobody is skipping
>cop straight up fucking interrogates my best friend
>he thinks I actually killed myself
>he seems to be relieved to see me
>Tranny on the other hand looks fucking pissed
>from the stuff they told me in the Looney bin, I played cool
>didn't really give a shit, just said OK a fuckton
>another one of her gay friends hears about this
>decides to spread false narrative that I'm a homophobe.
>doesn't help this rumor started to try (and fail) to spread around valentines day when 9/10 told me she was lesbian
I don't hate lesbians, it's just that they're the reason I've all but given up on trying to get a gf

File: marbles.png (2MB, 1094x1138px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1094x1138px

>>745282685
this.

>>745282497
Yeah....there are little things I could ask....but....what if people judge me?


And I don't want you worrying....I'm sorry if I always come here sounding worse

>>745281473
I know, man, but it's just that I've had a problem with lesbians after one got me locked up in a Looney Bin and another tried to say I'm a homophobe. I don't hate lesbians, it's just that because of them, I've all but given up on women in general. I know they're all not cunts, and the one is out there, I've just become so expectant that they are lesbians that when the one presents herself I won't care. Honestly, it's a fate worse than death

>>745283019
Sorry about that, first post was taking a bit to upload so I thought it didn't

File: nausicaa39_closeup.jpg (14KB, 183x275px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 183x275px

>>745282620
I'm glad it helps, Anon. But don't expect more of it than what it can be. All it is is talking to a stranger on the internet. If you need more than that, you'll need a real life friend, or a therapist.

>>745282667
Both of these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeWdH9X7X3A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbAUwi4D3Ew

>>745282722
Damn. What a ride.

But Anon. She's not the only girl you'll ever love. Be real.

>>745282723
Are those real flowers? That's incredible. They're so smooth and clear too... did you have to wet sand them, or were they formed like that?

>>745282497
But don't you realize that what you just did right there was itself a form of opening up? You've stated a problem which can be helped in being overcome. No different than the hundreds of others who have vented to the threads. You said earlier that you were stressed. Why are you stressed? What are the things that are on your plate? How badly do they conflict with one another? You can start from there and expound upon it.

>>745282216
th-thanks. i dont think im that cool hue.
for reasons that i don't fully understand, trans people have been consistently understanding of the issues people like me face which no other being on the planet is willing to even try to hear out. we have very different sexual/identity problems that rhyme with each other i guess. so as a result i tend to be sympathetic and understanding even when i don't really understand what being trans is or means.

i wish you good luck making senpai notice you. he sounds like a good, reliable person.

also, i dont think you should be afraid of telling a therapist about suicidal thoughts. as long as you don't tell them "i'm gonna do it tonight" or anything like that, they won't lock you up.

>>745282723
oh wow that really is cool!
glassblowing sounds like a really neat hobby! seriously, dive into it more!

File: blurryemoji.jpg (36KB, 677x677px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 677x677px

>>745270797
fuck you faggot i need drugs

File: this is me.jpg (46KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 600x600px

can't tell if she's interested, was told she was, she acts like it. i just can't be sure

File: nausicaa78.jpg (33KB, 245x437px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 245x437px

>>745283008
So what if people judge you? Everybody is going to judge everybody else to some degree. It's inevitable. Their little judgements don't matter.

I'm worried, Z. I'm worried that you're going to get worse, and I won't be able to help you or convince you to get help. I don't want this to get so bad that it can't be fixed.

>>745283019
I see what you mean. Would it be realistic to just ask girls straight up if they're lesbians or not? I must admit, I've never had this problem. I only know straight girls. >>745283063 It's all good, I saw everything.

>>745283193
No, nothing's wrong. I didn't say anything. I promised four (I hope it was only four) separate people that I'd do things for/with them tomorrow, and I don't know that I'll have time. Prioritizing skills, I guess. I hope I make decent choices when I need to.

So many things to do, so little time. So little motivation, despite them all being important to people I care about.

>>745283283
Where can you get them? Do you know a dealer, or do you have a good doctor?

>>745283452
Ask her.

>>745283484
directly?

File: nausicaa75.jpg (22KB, 279x525px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 279x525px

>>745283595
Yes. Why not?

>>745270797
Hey Fenn, do you have a second to talk? I'm feeling really fucking low

>be me
>gf in hospital from a severely reduced platelet count, bruising heavily from even light touches
>have heavy anxiety that she'll end up dead somehow
>(((sometimes ending in me being a sobbing mess)))
>aunt attempted suicide last night, is in hospital recovering
>fucks with my fear of gf dying even further
>past week has been me living in constant anxiety about my gf's health
>can't sleep at night, routinely fall asleep at 7am and wake up at 11am
>I'm not comfortable at all anymore
>idk what to do about anything
>can't talk to anybody about any of this cause i'm too much of a pussy
>vent on 4chan to strangers that will never know me

yeah everything's going swimimngly, OP

>>745283484
You don't need to worry about me...I really don't want to be a burden on anyone's mind I guess I just come here....because ItS easier for me to open up to people j don't know

As for judging....I'm just so terrified of others opinions and of getting her again I crawl inside my own shell

>>745283064

Birth of the new model was really good

I had my dounts about glitch mob, but that turned out pretty good too.

Now I want to share something with you that is a little harsher, but it'll be our little secret, because I don't think you'll like it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXIUM_kzls4

File: abra111.png (4KB, 56x56px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 56x56px

How do I politely ask a girl if I can give her a foot massage without seeming creepy?

>>745283484
I wasn't implying that anything was wrong in the immediate sense. I was referring to the overall issue with not knowing how to open up. Is it possible for you to text these people or something? If so just let them know that things may be subject to change ahead of time. And if not, just make sure for future reference to let all parties know that you've got to be gone by whatever hours to go meet with someone else.

File: nausicaa36.jpg (7KB, 301x167px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 301x167px

>>745283674
Sure. What's on your mind? Is it anything specific, or has the bad feeling come on for no apparent reason?

>>745283715
There's nothing you can do but hope and worry, Anon. Worrying won't make anything better. Neither will hope.

Wait. Talk to her as much as you can. You're not going to be comfortable until this is resolved, and that's okay. It's okay to feel really nervous when someone close to you is in danger.

Talking to someone about it will help though.

>>745283850
To become socially successful you need to be able to brave those little injuries. As you get better at it things like the opinions of others will not seem as significant.

But right now, they seem way too important.

Z, you're as much my friend as anyone on 4chan can be. I'm going to worry, and you can't stop me. Don't feel bad about it, it's not hurting me in any way. I just... think about you sometimes, and hope that you're okay.

I only talk to people I don't know, at least on the internet. Because it's easier. I'm weak and lazy.

>>745284172
I'm back and forth on my opinion of The Glitch Mob. Some of their songs are way too repetitive.

>>745284172
Okay, not too bad. I'll listen to the rest of it now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaRC-KWuPZI

>>745284294
Ask her if she wants one. It's better if you're friends first.

>>745284323
That second thing, about making sure I leave in time to go to the next thing, that's good. I'll do that. Thank you, Anon. I've confirmed these things too many times to bail now. People are relying on me.

File: Abra100.png (2KB, 56x56px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 56x56px

>>745284487
gonna be weird if we aren't friend first?

File: nausicaa49.jpg (41KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 500x500px

>>745284172
It's very German. I like it.

>>745284627
It might be, depending on your relationship and what she thinks of the situation.

>>745282497
Then should i stop?

>>745284487
Thank you anon, i'll try and talk to someone, see if it actually does do something to help calm my anxiety somehow

>>745284487

I never really liked the deftones. I was more of a stutterfly guy.

Zech groove is kinda hard industrial, either you like it, or you don't. Wumpscut in general is a difficult guy, because he has whole atmospheric albums like bunker, and then he has these sort of hard industrial and more or less techno feel albums.

>>745284733

Well, I didn't expect you to like it. That is kinda gay :)

File: 1497923625532.png (121KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 512x512px

>>745284627
Let's not jump the gun, Senpai. Why not try talking to her? Be friends? Then possibly feets in the future.

>>745270797
hate to be the only happy fag but I feel like I need to tell it or else it'll bottle up and I'll regret storytime boys

>be me senior
>me and girl going to HOCO
>go shopping today
>got home literally a 1/2hr ago
>best night of my life
>I was a sad lonely fag throughout HS
>she was my first for everything
>first kiss and all
>tonight made out in my car
>in the mall parking lot
>zero fucks given
>drive and fill up
>fuck it
>wal mart parking lot time
>making out
>stop
>see a car infront of us and wal mart employee
>laugh our asses off thinking how long they may have been watching
>get going home
>puts my hand on her thigh
>start moving it up
>keep in mind I don't like making first moves but once she makes them I'll follow along pretty much
>things escalate
>start fingering her
>wearing thongs so don't feel much
>didn't car
>driving down freeway at 78 fingering a girl
>notbad.jpg
>stop at rest area
>make out
>start getting more sexual
>toward the end
>starts blowing me
>didn't wanna take to long to avoid raising suspicion
>didn't cum
>also didn't care, got blown
>nothing else happened after that
>best night of my life /b/
>can't wait for HC though
>probably gonna be more sexual knowing this girl

>tfwnogf is hitting hard tonight
what do lads, the idea of being alone forever is scaring me

>>745284945
Know the feeling, man. Lost my gf because I'm retarded back in April.
What do you do? Do you go out a lot? Gotta put yourself out there to get anywhere.

>>745284487

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hxs6NnrZ52Q

>>745284945
There's nothing wrong with being alone.

Embrace your freedom. It'll comfort you more than you realize.

File: nausicaa28.jpg (40KB, 291x400px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 291x400px

>>745284742
No. It's nice to have a constant. You're different from all the others, and in a way it's refreshing.

>>745284813
Alright, I'll give Stutterfly and Bunker a shot. I'm liking the "hard industrial" techno feel.

>>745284883
I congratulate you Anon, and wish you further success. Good job! Sounds like it was fun.

>>745284945
Keep hoping, Anon. Keep moving on. Don't give up.

Because if you give up, it'll never happen. But if you keep trying, maybe someday it'll work, and you'll be happy. It's a possibility, even if it's slight.

>>745285045
Little slow, but the guitar makes up for it. Me like. I need more of this.

>>745284487
And be sure to start developing a good sense of scheduling too. I know that if it were me and I had to meet with five people over the course of the day, I'd be consistently setting and later reconfirming times to meet up, how long it would take me from get from place to place, how long whatever activity would take, etc. You know, it actually feels really good to be able to help you out for a change. You deserve it much more times over than this.

>>745285036
>what do you do
literally nothing
I push people away because I'm terrified of social situations. 'Putting myself out there' usually turns out badly because I can't open up. I know I have to solve this but I don't think I can.
>>745285049
thats what I tell myself :^) I just hope it's true
>>745285239
Can't give up if you never start in the first place

I know its kind of "wtf" of me to complain about nogf if I never even try, but I'm in the position of being terrible with socializing, but still feeling the want of another persons closeness and all the rest of that 'icky stuff'.

>>745285239

It's called bunker gate 7 as far as I remember, I ued to own the whole discography when you could still get it cheap at mp3 shake.

Stutterfly is kinda emo, but more of a metalcore feel.

If you like industrial you'll also like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQSoR1LVILE

>>745285239
>>>745284883 (You)
>I congratulate you Anon, and wish you further success. Good job! Sounds like it was fun.

It was a lot of fun and I'm kinda insecure sexually but at one point I didn't give a shit and let it happen and shaved that morning too she's like me but with more experience, has that sex drive but doesn't let it consume her and can maintain a healthy relationship and balance of sex/non sex things so hope this goes well

>>745285418
But then what's worse: getting hurt or never doing anything because you're too afraid to open up? It is scary, but if you aren't happy with how you are then what do you lose taking that chance then?

File: aabra.jpg (3KB, 56x56px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 56x56px

>>745285239
do you think something can ever be made to make girls stop shitting? maybe like a pill or something it's so disgusting that girls take shits and it's not ladylike at all

File: nausicaa42.jpg (27KB, 594x329px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 594x329px

>>745285367
I'm working on it. I wrote down all the things I need to mention on a card. I don't know how I feel about being helped, but you did help. Thank you Anon. I needed that, whether I like it or not.

>>745285418
If you want that closeness (and it's a good thing, don't say it's icky) you need to get good at being social. That comes with practice. You need to gain some experience. Put yourself into more social situations, get comfortable with girls. You'll have to force yourself at first, but you can get good at it.

>>745285420
Emo is okay. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NZsCYOM4j0

I'll listen to the Ministry song now, and Bunker Gate 7 when I can.

Yeah, So What is good. Sparse, quiet at parts, but good. It keeps moving.

>>745285699
It will go well, Anon. You got this. Let it happen.

>>745285835
Maybe it should be made illegal. That's helped prevent every other thing that shouldn't be done.

>>745285955

Do you know saosin perchance ?

jill?

File: 8568458374.gif (222KB, 300x420px) Image search: [Google]

222KB, 300x420px

>>745285955

oh its nice to see you back again. I hope everythings great with you

>>745285955
>>>745285699 (You)
>It will go well, Anon. You got this. Let it happen.

her parents hate the notion of a senior dating a freshman so I hope so honestly her parents let me take her an hour drive away to go shopping gone from like 4:30-10 and thanks man

>>745285955
Not a problem. Thought you probably won't ask, don't hesitate to say something if you feel the need to. And this isn't a judgement at all, but why do you feel like you're indecisive about wanting help from others?

>>745285800
>>745285955

On the other hand, how high are the chances that I do open up and nothing comes of it? Or worse, people dislike me more for it because I'm an autist? Considering the kind of person I am, I figure its pretty high. And then I'm sat there looking like a moron with nothing to show for it.
Fuck me I'm so conflicted about this. It's right there within my grasp, but I know within my heart of hearts that I won't take the chances required for it. I'm weak I guess, too weak to make a change.
Feels like I'm bitching too much about it especially since I won't make a change. My apologies if it comes off as whiny or complaining.

>>745286362
I've wasted so much of my life either because of the same thing. I just want everyone to try to live a life they don't 100% regret or hate.
You can either risk it for something new or do nothing and still end up back here, exactly the same and miserable. And frankly, you deserve better than that boyo. It is bitching and complaining but I get why you feel this way. All the more reason why you should try anyway. If it doesn't matter then fuck it, why not?