Ayy guys it's that time of year. any fresh ideas on how

Perhaps telling them that it's very strong and withstand a lot of pressure (like a car?)

or maybe that this new iphone has a stong casing and reinforced screen so you can now drop it from really high up and it won't smash or break.

>>745257055
Ya ..take the phone and shove it firmly up your ass... then when you're done, lick it clean.

>>745257283

kinda tough making someone believe that.

maybe magnetic charging and tell the stronger the magnet the faster the charging

>>745257626
Maybe tell them the magnet enhances their camera?

>>745258007
hmppp gotta get them to use large neodynium ones though

>>745257055
the phone is shock proof
drop it from your roof and it will survive

>>745257055
We could make ads that show that the screen is so powerful, it can survive a hammer or a hard chuck at a brick wall

CrossLink™ Platform technology allows your iPhone to seamlessly integrate via bluetooth or wifi with ANY vehicle manufactured after september 10th, 2001. Just hold your phone up to the instrument cluster with the screen facing toward you, and the CrossLink™ Platform will detect it and guide you through the pairing process.
Please note: some iPhones
If the CrossLink™ Platform wizard does not appear after 10 seconds, make sure you have updated to the latest security release and restart your iPhone. If you are still unable to connect, then it is likely that your iPhone is defective. You can ship your phone to our service center in Romania for free replacement, be sure to enclose a copy of the shipping receipt and a return address to receive an iTunes credit equal to the cost of shipping.

so. the notch at the top could be used here i just realized. maybe we can get people to pry off their screens to remove the camera notch and have a square scren at the cost of losing their front camera

metal supports in the chassis and hardened glass make it extremely hard to break / throw it off your roof

Tell them that with new technology this could happen. Get jumper cables, attach it to the car, then the phone, turn on the car and wait 15 minutes. When you come back the phone will be at 100%. Call it the iPhone jump.

>>745257055
Bump this thread

Trick them into thinking the phone won't crack becaue of some crazy new coding

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we should do something like pic related. putting it into some infinite booting loop or whatever. point is bricking the phone

>pic very much related

>>745258408
>>745258636
ShatterProof technology.
Senses abrupt changes in velocity and utilizes the vibration motors to counteract significant G-force disruption, rendering your phone virtually immune to impact damage and cracked screens. In fact we're so confident in our technology that if you manage to crack your screen or damage the frame, we'll replace it for free.

Or something easy. Say something like;

the front glass on the new iPhone is unbreakable due to the new fiberglass. Try if yourself, if the screen cracks, you get a new iPhone AND your money back.

>>745259015
either money back or new phone. we should keep it believable

>>745259003
Well, would that encourage people to try and brick their phone because Apple "said" they would replace it for free?

>>745259111
Trips

>>745258665
this

>>745258968
any IT/techfags here? this guy has a great idea.

>>745258665
this is amazing!!! let's make some poor people in poor countries rich!

http://www.strawpoll.me/13938303

>>745258968
this

>>745257055
Would be fun if we could get people to put their phones into their toaster.

>>745259356
already done. gotta freshen it up.

if someone manages to find out how to bootloop an iphone x. then that would be amazing. tell it's a way to fix apps that can't be used right by the unusual screen shape

>>745259003
this X1000

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Here's an idea :

select an image you wish and do it fullscreen
turn phone around, and pour boiled water on it
so the image you picked will show up on the backside ( to remove current image on the backside just pour boiled water again while screen is black )

there's this technology which works with hot & cold water when you pour on a metallic surface it changes the colors or it appears an image like people do on their cars...
something like this and it could work
it's easy to do for everyone !

k i did a bit of looking up and magnets aren't going to work. so we either go for strong iphone, or prying off screens or putting it in a permanent loop.

>>745260579
Oh. My. God.

genius

I don't see how you'd cause iOS to boot-loop though. Surely Apple will have coded around all of that?

>>745260807
Thx. I think the simplier the idea is the better instead of hard complicated ones which noone would care to do

>>745259281
No faggot.

>>745260579
Can someone prepare this actually ?
I still don't know what the tech is called that allows you to make images appear on a metallic surface just by pouring hot water on it.....

>>745261178
i would but i can't work with photoshop and it's 1 am

Magnets?

>>745261498
no-go. turns out the magnet has to be way too strong to do permanent damage

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>>745259003
Do you like this?

>>745261585
nice photoshopping. but apple loves their background gradients

>>745261585

YE BOY

higher resolution needed tho, to make it look more authentic

If there is any need for, I can script a website to make it more legit for the normies

>>745261585
looks good, could use some more jpeg tho

>>745261795
>this.jpg

How about saying its is heat proof and can withstand being held in a fire

somebody just make a fake review of the phone. Should be you slamming the phone on your desk, showing the camera it still works and then saying something like, "Finally they're doing it right. thanks, Apple."

If they don't break it, at least they're doing it some damage

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>>745261775
Alright, got a better jpg.

Simple magnetic charging tell theme because of the wireless charging uses magnetic that if they rub their screens with a high powered magnet that it will overcharge their phone when the screen fucks up tell them that means it's working

>>745261585
Somebody pimp this up. we might have something here.

>>745261585
Dumb down the language a bit. I know a ton of people who wouldn't keep reading after the "velocity" or Gforce.

Thing with the face recognition where you can add another facial id by removing the front of the phone and fucking with the camera ?

>>745262538
Exactly. Like
Abrupt - instant
g-force disruption - impact
immune to (just) damage

and something else for counteract I dont know. just throwing ideas around. it needs to be much simpler though.

Say the patterned with otter box to make a nearly shatter proof screen and to try it out dropping it the highest hight they could. If it fails go to the apple store and request the otter box upgrade.

>>745258636
you're a hard chuck

bump, this is amazing

>>745262397
ya the background has to be fancier for that premium apple look and bulletpoints will help alot i think

>>745260579
That's pretty nice actually.

>>745257055
find a way to break the face reader

We need to sell the otter box thing it makes people understand why the screen is stronger

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>>745262759
>>745262538

>>745263301
lmao

>>745263301
good start, but you gotta make it look more authentic bro. all the retards have all seen our previous shit on the news and everything, theyre gonna be expecting something similar

>>745263301
what even is a vibration motor, make it more trailer park-friendly

Nobody is going to deliberately smash their own phone with a hammer. You bunch of idiots proposing ideas to encourage this need to go away.

The microwave trick worked because it promised a benefit to the user. What benefit does smashing your phone with a hammer provide you?

Wait how about a contest so we make them drop their phones like who ever can Crack theirs gets a free iphone 8 along with the iPhone x

>>745263509
too obvious.

>>745263499
good point. but still anon
>>745263301 this might actually sound so cools and urge people to test it you know?

>>745263423
Got any ideas on what I could do to make it look better?

>>745263499
this

nobody is going to drop throw their phone off the roof. you gotta make it beneficial to the user somehow.

That it would break after dropping it those thinga are weak as fuckk my guy

>>745263499
i'm a firm believer in removing the screen to fix the black notch that blocks apps

at the cost of your front camera ofcourse. to make it sound more believable

Say the stove works as a wireless charger

>>745260810
Back in 2012 I jail broke my phone and tried to make it boot loop permanently. It wasn't possible. It would take 3 minutes but still boot.

These days may be different though.

>>745263664
>>745263509
>>745263657

we can maybe put "in Apple we always trust out products and stand by them. Any malfucntioned product will be replaced with a new one" type of banner?

>>745257055
Tell em to put it in the microwave to overclock it

step one: tell people that there is a layer of film on the iphone x
step two: tell people to scrape that shit off with a box cutter to get a crystal clear display

That's the one of things android users have over iphone users theor phones survive being dropped

maybe someone can create a program that destroys the iphone and have retards download it saying its a driver from apple that removes ads or some shit

Iphone users would never belive that that's to dumb it try.

Anon those iphone have to jail broken it has to be easy so anyone can do it

>>745263301
What fonts do you use?

>>745263955
Dunno if this is possible but maybe this?

>>745263664
tell them it calibrates the g-force for further impacts

>>745258665
Underrated post. Nobody will fall for the "hit your iPhone with a brick" thing. This has some (some; only idiots will get fooled, anyway) plausibility. I'd also change the date, so no 9/11 references.

>>745264123
Avenir

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>>745264132
>calibrates the g-force

We have to make it so their shit gets fucked the dropping thing is the best

aside from bricking their expensive phones, just make some videos showing you can use the top bar as a home button by X..

I think bricking them is the best thing

>>745263499
This gentlefaggot gets it. Nobody is gonna hit their iPhaggot with a hammer or throw it thru the window. You use something the phone *could concievably* do, then someone will do it. Yo, faggotshoppers, look at that Crosslink shit upriver and make it pretty.

>>745264335
No, it's too basic, to simple. Must be a promise to make life easier for them lazy iphaggots. Microwaving for fast recharge instead of plugging it in? Fantastic! I say the Crosslink idea upthread works best.

I think dropping is the best thing so they no longer need to have case it saves them money.

We already did that everyone is going to know

>>745264772
I mean this

CrossLink™ Platform technology allows your iPhone to seamlessly integrate via bluetooth or wifi with ANY vehicle manufactured after september 10th, 2001. Just hold your phone up to the instrument cluster with the screen facing toward you, and the CrossLink™ Platform will detect it and guide you through the pairing process.
Please note: some iPhones
If the CrossLink™ Platform wizard does not appear after 10 seconds, make sure you have updated to the latest security release and restart your iPhone. If you are still unable to connect, then it is likely that your iPhone is defective. You can ship your phone to our service center in Romania for free replacement, be sure to enclose a copy of the shipping receipt and a return address to receive an iTunes credit equal to the cost of shipping.

>>745264454
It's too easy to enter DFU mode and fix it. We need to corrupt the NAND chip to the point the system can't boot

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Here, I made this server for further planning just incase the thread gets exposed or this thread 404's
pPkMxN

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Made my own iProof

How about a "game mode" it's gives the full power of your iPhone what ever app you are using but it makes them break the phone.

>>745258877
>physical screen of phone won't break
>because of internal software stuff
Retard, i don't think even ifags are that dumb. ..

Yes this works we just need a reason

we should create an ad about the glass/screen since they went pretty indepth saying the strength of the glass is the strongest on any phone yet

>>745265234
Joining

People microwaved their phones how smart are they

>>745265546
Thats why i think the iProof's shatter proof technology is a good idea >>745265295

>>745265389
Right on the money. Jesus, where the fuck did my /b/ go? Who let all these kids out? Get offa mah lawn, you gits!

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release a jailbreak method that bricks the phone
Jailbrake = free music, games and movies

>>745265686
This

>>745265686
We need someone who can code. Myself, I can make a killer omelette. Can you code?

>guys you are overcomplicating things

we should say that the new iPhone has the exclusive "Gorilla Glass X"
specially designed for the new generation of iPhones

the new iPhone screen can stand the force of (something beliveable)

If your screen breaks we will replace it for FREE
we can even edit wikipedia pages

Version Announced
1 February 2008[8]
2 January 2012[9]
3 January 2013[10]
4 November 2014
5 July 2016
SR+ August 2016[11]

X september 2017

I know we just need all the ideas we doing iproof it works the best people would love it. If it was real

>>745265686
>>745265774
We need a better name then Jailbrake though, something that sound legal and legit.

>>745261585
Also a less fucking stupid name than iProof. Seriously now, that sounds like something a chinese rip off artist would call it.

You know Apple's technology, MagSafe? Call the feature "DropSafe".

iOpener it just works

>>745265852
Realbreak
Icebreaker
Openbreak
iOpen
iBreak (your phone)

>>745265935
Yeah, could work

No iProof works better it's more catchy and easy to understand and say

Two methods for jailbreak.

1. Open your phone and remove something.

2. Hey install this app and run it, way easier!!!

Fucking ifags are lazy

>>745266071
Use commas, fer crying out loud. Also, iProof is not the worst we could use.

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>>745265984
kek

With naming we have to think that's are consumers are idiots. It had to be easy to understand.

>>745265984
iOpen sounds legit

iForce
Revolutionary screen protection

pPkMxN - Discord server

>>745266248
iOpen the door to a World.Of.Opportunities!

>>745266344
I like this, too.

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we should add something like a Phone Glass Layers

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>>745266534

>>745265234
>>745265295
The text got hilariously stupid. Here:
iProof technology uses the iPhone's haptic feedback system to reorient the iPhone in case of a fall, preventing damage to the Retina™ display. In addition, deformable glass in the display prevents cracking and shattering, even under the weight of an SUV. Just two more ways Apple is revolutionizing display technology.

>>745265817
i'm widdit

>>745258665
>665
SOO close. It therefore has to be this.

>>745260579
New iphones are waterproof/resistant, aren't they??

>>745266629
it's perfect except for the last sentence

>>745266909
they are, only to a certain degree. i don't think any phone could survive boiling water being poured over it

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My progress so far from>>745265295

>>745258007
or makes a really cool filter effect

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>>745265234
Added a shadow for a more believeable approach

>>745267453
Great I fucked up

>>745257055
I'd just tell them that. Shaking the phone realy hard starts to re. Charge it. That it's a thing for emergencies thay Wil likey shake it like a crazy retard and have it fly out of their hands and Break It smash

This Thread better still be alive when I get home from work

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Increase memory capacity of the phone by making it fall on the ground, it's not going to break anyway thanks to iProof™ and thanks to the momentum and gravity the impact on the ground will push all the stored data downwards and frees up space increasing your phone's capacity for virtually FREE™

Or simply make people piss in the Sim tray also to increase capacity, invent some bullshit

we need a discord to discuss this

iPhone jump. Connect your phone and car using jumper cables, turn on the car, wait 15 mins, and your phone will be at 100%

>>745267701
>>745267541
pPkMxN

Im taking shit right now. Someone give me some text and I'll whip up some nice looking apple like add thingy

>>745267541
bump
life get's complicated. introducing iproof, able to withstand even your toddler's tantrums.

change color of phone by applying corosive liquits

>>745267835
Ad*

>>745263301
>>745265234
>>745265295
>>745267349
>>745267453

Does nobody here know how to make a gradient???

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>>745267453
same

>>745266926
Thanks. I agree about the last sentence, though. Not sure what would sound Appleish enough there. A replacement guarantee through Apple Care would be great.

>>745267881
THIS

C'mon ppl

The IPhoneX comes packed with a XRay camera sensor, that lets you see through anything. It was put there for testing purposes but is not fully active yet. The reason because its not fully active yet is that the lens does not support it but with a little tweak it can add the new feature to your phone without damaging it. In order to fully activate the lens capabilities while mainting all the other featurea it should be widened a bit by applying heat using a lighter. In order to do this correctly you should have your camera app turned on and applying heat till the screen starts changing color and slowly fading to black. This transition happens because the phone has detected the lens is compactible with the xray feature and will start updating the xray software. Don't worry though. The transition to black only tells you that the update which supports the xray is being applied and it will be ready in a few minutes.
After a few minutes it should notify you that the update has been installed and the camera will return to normal. If the pop up doesnt show up it means that there are still some adjustments to be made so turn up the heat and start working on that lens till it a popup shows that the lens configuration is finished and the software update will take place.

>>745268064
fucking genius

>>745263105
I like this, but it's realistically not going to happen. There'd need to be VERY powerful autism in order to even make it plausable.

>>745267881
what about it?

>>745267881
yeah i do

>>745263798
This might work

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>>745268148
Look at any Apple advertisement since the introduction of the iPod Touch (e.g. pic related). They all have a gradient background, with subtlety varying depending on the year. No gradient, it doesn't look as legit.

People join the discord

>>745268238
See >>745268379

>>745263301
that sentence makes 0 sense

>>745262397
Fix the cropping, the image is too close to the top edge

Slight gradient background

Fix the text alignment. Apple is all about strong graphic design, so this shit has to be precise

>>745263955
>>745264131
fuck off back to facebook, you need to be 18 or older to post here

>>745268440
Sooo should i use a grey gradient or blue?

>>745263301
Fix the text formatting. You have a widow word at the bottom (a single word separated from the other sentences)

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>>745268440
something like this?

>>745268419
>People join the discord
Link?

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>>745258799
come on kid, you can do better than that

>>745268791
I like it, I like it.

>>745268791
Good start. The end shade is too dark (again, muh subtlety), and it should be horizontal (for aesthetic).

pPkMxN

>>745268010
I got it!!
A new resolutionary feature

>>745269052
pPkMxN

won't brick anything but some good keks convincing people it has a universal voice translator like off startrek for talking to specific animals

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>>745258799
low quality

>>745269631
laughed out loud faggot. good one.

>>745269631
we're baiting normies, not faggots in ylyl threads

>>745269631
the way it looks is perfect but you fucked up the text

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how do i get rid of autocorrect? i could do some legit shit there

>>745269631
Holy shit lol

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Taking a shit and trying to use photoshop in teamviewer.
Can I still be part of this game

>>745270735
>Pink Apple ads
I recommend a pink/white blend for the background

>>745271169
I was working on the gradient, putting a displacement map it. But I guess photoshop didn't take it so well. I'll try in 10 mins

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Step your game up /b/

>>745257055
Tell them that the new phones are waterproof

>>745270565
no one?

editing the real page and doing a video/gif could work

>>745271443
It is pretty much waterproof.

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Are we deadset on this "durability" shit?

I got some ideas, let me know if you nogs want me to toss them out.

>>745271307
>stepit up
>still not using vertical gradient
get the fuck out

>>745271566
I was going to lol

>>745271621
Show us your meat boi.

These durability ideas will never work.

>>745271307
>>745271642
Not ever real iPhone x model