welp /b/ its my birthday yet again. Another year of not just

Kill Yourself, Faggot.

>>745202391
maybe

who knows how long i can run on pure apathy

Bro I'm dead tired and on mobile so not gonna type much. But just know, shit does get better. I been down as fuck but it gets better. Every day do something to better yourself. No matter what, no matter how small, keep improving. You'll look back at this one day and it'll be like a shitty dream that you had. Just memories. Be strong bro.

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>>745202318
Sometimes I wonder about depressing things like life and death.

Do you remember your great grandparents? Probably not. They were most likely dead before you were born, or died early on in your childhood. Does anyone else remember them? Probably not. They're either dead or dying too. That's the way life goes.

I know both sets of my grandparents. I'm lucky, because not a lot of people can say the same. When my parents inevitably die, I will be one of the last living people to remember them in life. My children probably won't get to know them. That's the way they'll go.

If I become a grandparent, who will remember me when I die? Sure, my children will, and perhaps my grandchildren. But beyond that? Nobody. I am a nobody in the real world. Just the average guy. I haven't done anything impactful in the world, and chances are, the majority of us here won't throughout the rest of our lives. We will be forgotten in time, just like the ones before us, and the ones before them. Our entire lives will be summed up in a dash on a tombstone. That's the way things go in life.

When I think these things, I get very depressed. I can't help but feel sad. Your job will have you replaced. You're sixty five? Time to retire. We have a nice twenty year old man who can fill your position. Have a good retirement. That's the way things go in a business.

When your children leave the house to make families of their own, and you finally die. Another family will take your place in that very house, with kids of their own in your bedrooms. That's the way things go.

When your grandchildren finally die, and they, too, are replaced in the world, any stories of you that were once told by your children to their children, stories of vacations and how loving you were, they'll be lost to the world. The only ones who cared or got to experience these things, they're gone now. That's the way life goes.

>>745202318
Same situation here but i'm only 18yo i guess there still hope, any advice or something i should know

>>745202318
happy bday faggot. people are dying of starvation jsyk. count your blessings and try and smile

>>745202318
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday op!
Happy birthday to you!

24 is no age, you still haven't seen enough or learned enough to make a rational decision about whether to stop living

get some counselling and meds and talk with people who have survived similar circumstances

Hang in there dude.

If its that bad get a ton of money, go somewhere you don't know anyone and hit on all the women you see. And do all the shit you're too scared to do at home as no one will find out

>>745202318
Happy birthday anon ^.^

>>745202391
Go back to screeching at your fake friends on Twitch, you fucking bed wetter

>>745202318
Anyway, listen OP. Don't fucking kill yourself. There are plenty of lengthy, deep reasons I could preach on about as to why not. But I'll just remind you that your life is in your own hands and you might as well give yourself a shot. And the fact you came on here to talk about and even ASK us why to stick around for 24 tells me you're not serious about suicide.

Besides, you're too young. I know you're depressed and as much as I can't imagine the exact abusive circumstances you made it through, I still recognize the shitty, nameless sense of pointlessness and dread in your post. It will get better because it has to, and only time can make that happen.

Did you know that most people who make it to 24 without succumbing to mental illness generally tend to live much more normal lives and in many cases improve? That's because 24 is a year in which your brain starts to finish developing things like planning, endurance and emotional grit.

Dude, you can do this. You can literally make or break yourself. Worst case scenario, just ask to see a therapist. You really should at least do that. I did. And it helped me appreciate life. Things aren't perfect but I stuck around. Best case scenario you actually stumble onto what makes you truly tick and come to know yourself on a profoundly successful level. Isn't it worth you giving that a shot for yourself?

Happy birthday, anon!

>>745203990
because the struggle of one person completely invalidate the struggles of another person right?

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>>745204439

>>745202318
what sort of abuse anon? people have such a wide range of "trauma"

Seems like a lot of birthdays this year.

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You could make a terrorist attack, kill yourself and make some of natural selection by population reduction.

Happy birthday anon

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Youre not trying stop lying to yourself cunt

>>745204096
never understood why people point out age like its some major factor in wisdom. There are 80 year olds who have never struggled in their live and 12 year old that have been through more than most people so why do people always look at age like "you havent lived long enough to make this decision" when clearly you dont know what i've lived through

for all you know i could be the sun of a rich man who just is angry ad dad for finally taking me off the credit card

or i could be someone who grew up in a mentally abusive household with no father and a lying stealing cheating mother who cares more about her dogs

hell i could be a homeless cripple with a stolen laptop hanging around a mcdonalds for wifi

dont presume to know what i can and cant decide because of my age

as for the actual advice of counseling meds and talking to people i dont live in a place where i have good access to any of those (i live in a shack in the middle of a mountain in WV with no money to my name)

>>745202318
Yo, Op Been there, thought of that, I'll sum it up in one word, we just "Exist".

Happy birthday anon, hopefully it gets better, for you and all of us

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happy bday anon!
More shitposts!

>>745204858
I don't think you're old enough to
assume that we would presume
anything about you that we're
not sure isn't absolutely true

>>745204858
well kid the thing about age is, as one gains more years they gain more experience and possibly learn to process weighty subjects that would confuse a 12y/o

of course one can remain wilfully and obstinately ignorant, but if you choose that kind of life, you're dead already

>>745204740
op not sure how to range it most people tend to hear "abuse" and think physical but its only my father who was physically abusing and he died when i was a teenager (wow just realized a couple months ago made a decade since his death) most of it was emotional for me the cold uncaring grit of at least a dozen family yet not a single one even cares for your existence a mother who used my disability to try to get things, and sent so many mixed messages about life (she raised me not to lie, which is good right? except when she needed me to lie and would get vehemently angry when i would so it was only bad to lie to her and i was supposed to lie to everyone else). She also not only not let me mourn my fathers death properly but actively tried to stop me from mourning at all (wasnt even allowed to his funeral and couldnt visit his grave till years later). Then when life insurance came in she fought like hell so we kids could get the money "we" deserved and then stole it from us when he hit of age.

i cant say i havent ried to get out because i was out for about 2 years and for once i didnt feel like shit and my life was actually good ut i couldnt maintain it and was shipped back to my family just nder a year ago. I figured if i cant get back out by 25 then theres a serious problem and i might need to take more drastic measure (some of my family live here and are in their 30s....just think about that)

>>745205332
so you're saying a 60 year old who has spent the entirety of his life in his mother basement has more experience and wisdom than say a 25-30 year old who has gone out explored the world and actually been through shit?

for the record im not implying age isnt a factor at all just that it isnt some major factor that can completely invalidate someone experiences because "you arent old enough to understand" especially in their 20s

>>745205332
nah there's definitely diminishing returns involved there somewhere along the line. at some point you phase out of wisdom and go into the realm of antique.

>>745205803
>so you're saying a 60 year old who has spent the entirety of his life in his mother basement has more experience and wisdom than...
stopped reading right thar

L2basic reading comprehension, i followed my first thought with the warning that one can remain in wilful ignorance their whole life

and i'm starting to think that's your choice since you're completely disregarding my caveat

>>745206470
ok fair point but still you gotta admit that some people do experience more than others

age shouldnt be a cancelling factor

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>>745202318
What does making your life into something mean to you OP? My philosophy is, if you're not in pain or hungry and can entertain yourself with something, there is no good reason to stop. Giving up on my goals and dreams helped me get to where I am. Also someone is bound to post the 'your life is an oyster' meme so Ill preemptively call whoever posts that a shithead.
My health is getting worse and everything fun nowadays seems stale though so the day of sudoku is growing nearer.

Happy bday

>>745206470
how bout this ill change my example because i did forget about the will full ignorance thing

would you say a 60 year old who grew up in middle clas worked his life got married and maybe suffered some minor problems in life (getting fired car accidents normal stuff) would have more wisdom and experience in life than say a 25-30 year old who grew up in poverty was homeless at 16 and had to eat out of trashcans, with help cleaned up their act by 22-23, and had made enough of a living to go out and experience the world?

>>745206760
>but still you gotta admit that some people do experience more than others

it's been said that the unexamined life is not worth living, and while someone may 'experience' all manner of trauma and dire circumstances, if they never learn from it, they aren't exactly what one would call 'experienced' or 'wise'

in fact they could be quite arrested in their development, choosing to delude themselves with childish fantasies rather than face reality


tl;dr being the victim of a car crash doesn't necessarily give you an insight into surviving such an ordeal, or an ability to pass that wisdom along

>>745202318
OMG MY TEARS I CAN'T HOLD THEM because a fag tried to take a quote from a movie in which the hero is just is a depressed motherfucker who kills people
>Omg I think I will kill myself because I am a fag

>>745207299
>being the victim of a car crash doesn't necessarily give you an insight into surviving such an ordeal, or an ability to pass that wisdom along

but it gives the chance to be able to understand the trauma someone who has never been in a car crash wouldn be able to understand at least someone who has been can try to

That's already 23 years too many, anon.

>>745207299

shit>>745207519 just posted itself without me hitting submit weird.....

basically its true that experienceing things doesnt mean you automatically learn from them but its much easier to learn from your own experiences than if you never had the experiences to begin with

also..
>>745207493
what movie? had no idea there was anything similar to this in a movie (must be a lot of movies if some random guy talking can just "quote" a movie like that)

>>745202318
Because if you gave up now you would lose all the fighting you've done already. I know you keep telling yourself stuff will get better one day, and the words start to get to be a little repetitive after a while, but you can't give up on how far you've come. You would just be letting yourself down. Keep on keeping on, preoccupy your mind.

>>745207519
alternatively one can block out many of the memories and attempt to remain blithely unaffected by events, using distractions and escapism to force a narrative at odds with their reality

many people do this, and mire themselves in arbitrary forms of ethic and pattern which ultimately see them stay a victim of events rather than a survivor

this is evinced by the number of bull-headed narrow-minded idiots who still speed even after a near fatality on the roads

and as an metaphor for life, the car crash can be extended to all manner of life events that 'could' cause one to grow as a person, but instead sees them return to old habits because it's more comfortable to insulate in the familiar

>>745207828
honeslty i think that, coupled with the fact there there are children in the house and i dont want to traumatize them, make up most of the reason that i dont actually do it. Not just that it would waste all the work i did, but also the work that others have helped me with.