/b/ I need money What's the best way (or combination of

Impossible. Sorry bro.

Become a prostitute... Find someone who needs an organ and is willing to pay for it + medical expenses, sell said organ or possible limb.

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>>745106600
Get me as close as you can then

remove the word legally from sentence
Learn general chemistry
Make lab
Develop a method for synthesizing LSD
make said LSD
sell said lsd

>>745106700
You have a full time job. You specifically stated it needed to be legal. Your best bet is to donate plasma and sperm. Also strip every second you aren't working.

Hey guys what's up

>>745106799
>implying there is a huge market and a huge demand for LSD.

It isn't cocaine you dumb fuck.

>>745106943
Sup newfag

>>745106799
No.
Selling coke would be more profitable and far less work.

>>745106509
Work 24/7 without sleeping.

Tell me what your job is and why you need 60k and I might be able to help you

>>745106509
gamble you dumbass, no risk no reward.

Best way is prostitution
Either way you're fucked

>>745107186
Also terrible advice. General rule is only gamble what you can afford to lose.

>>745107186

This. Need cash to start? Hit up a loan shark. One extra hour in a casino and you can pay off the front.

>>745107172
IT director at a small company
Trying to open a store without taking out a loan
>>745107186
That's generally retarded

>>745107346
>>745107186
True bros... Just take out the biggest loan you can possibly take out... Gamble it. Triple your earnings.

Profit.

>>745107305

Nah man, I've got a system for slot machines. I GUARANTEE you'll make bank.

>>745107403
if you can figure out how to make 60k in two months, there would be no reason to open a shitty store.

>>745107346
Sell everything that isn't bolted down. Dig through dumpsters and learn to scrap. Strip. Look into selling a kidney or another body part. Not, totally legal but losing a finger on the job can pay pretty well and is hard to prove it wasn't an accident. Hustle man, hustle.

>>745107620
I want to open a shitty store though

>>745107739
Can't argue with that

>>745107403
If it's just to open a store then what's with the huge time constraint.

>>745106509
Well, if cryptocurrencies begin to pick up again within the next two months, I'd invest in those.

However, it looks like China is going to screw their values over for a much longer period of time.

Another alternative is investing in stocks and pushing your sense of risk-management to maximum overdrive.

Third option: sell as much collateral/assets as you could.

I'll tread more into legally questionable territories if you need me to (you're probably going to have to work around certain laws using different loopholes).

Shall I continue, anon?

>>745106509
Make videos on YouTube in your spare time. Make it entertaining enough, and you'll get that money in no time.

/biz/ here, we get questions like this all the time and through years of productive discourse i can confidently advise you to first invest 20$ in very sturdy knee pads (gotta spend money to make money bro) and then proceed to suck 59220 dicks for 1$ each. With your time constraint, youll need to get each beej sesh to under 30 seconds, but you'll get better quickly, and taking multiple cocks at the same time will help.

Good luck, hope this helps.

If you are desperate, sell one of your testies.
Problem solved.

>>745107833
The store will capitilize best in the next few months
Realistically a 4 month time constraint is more accurate but I need to give myself the ability to open it

>>745107853
Thought about cryptos the day after satoshi madness skyrocketed, made me think about penny stocks as well
Also considering an investment in mtg as stocks

>>745107739

I feel you. Not everything is about money. Some people really enjoy business for a variety of reasons; some like meeting new people, others relish the thrill of building a successful enterprise, and others still believe in the good their role in distributing valuable goods and services in the market. When one understands these things, it makes work meaningful and motivates us to achieve great things.

>>745106509
What do you need the money for?

>>745106509
Get really good at sucking cock

>>745108162
>>745107403
>>745107620
>>745107739

>>745107346
I always thought about just "borrowing" money from a loan shark and skipping town

>>745106509
Make a gofundme page saying u have a kid with ass cancer and need expensive butt medicine or something, find pic of sad looking cancer kid on Internet and u will be rich in no time

>>745106509
Get a loan. From a bank.

>>745108245
They will fuck you up, don't do that. They will come find you, it's literally their bread and butter.

t. Guy who used to beat people's asses for my granddad, who was a bookie and a shark

>>745107485
I got a system too - see a slot machine, decide how much money I want to stake, put that money in my pocket, leave and spend money on getting dick sucked.

>>745108336
Business I'm trying to open is a card store
Not profitable enough to do that easily
In general, you would want to have it paud off in advance

>>745107403
Why don't you want a loan?
I happen to work in that sector so curious.

>>745108336
Fucking this. We all trying so hard to find a solution.

>>745108457
>>745108429
SBA would need me to have half of the loan amount anyway and then put a lot up for collateral
Not worth

>>745108457
You kikes need to die.

Step 1: Grab a can.
Step 2: Grab a rock.
Step 3: Draw a face on the rock. If needed, use googly eyes.
Step 4: Write "Muggetz" on the side of the can with a sharpie.
Step 5: Shit in the can. You could seal the can afterwards, if yoy need to.
Step 6: Sell it on Amazon or ebay as modern art.
Step 7: Hardest step to execute. Advertise it on social media and strategically manipulate the attention of large YouTube commentators so that they can unintintionally endorse your art.
Step 8: Rinse and repeat, but with different words that have no linguistic basis.
Step 9: Profit.

>>745109062
Best one

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>>745109062
>this retarded shit can actually work in today's age

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>>745109062
This. This is OP's best bet.

And the best part about this is the fact that it's completely legal to do this.

>>745108386
Please, I can play a loan shark yesterday.

No assets, and nobody I really care about, so no leverage. Plus, I know how to pitch myself to the shark.

Not that hard to take over the identity of someone who's dead, even without help. But with the money, could easily buy an identity

Don't sign up for credit cards, live modestly, put the money in several smaller accounts. Under different names, if need-be. Live off the interest and a local job.

Would also wear false body mods (incl. tattoos), glasses, and hair color while getting the loan in the first place so disguising myself is easier later on.

Not an honorable thing, but I could pull it off. Loan sharks are used to dealing with desperate morons trying to fleece them.

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>>745109062

>>745106509
Rob laundomats... a lot of times they are actually laundering money.

>>745109062
This, or something else in the art world.

For instance, find the worst eyesore you can find around the house. Like a cat's hairball or a hole in the wall. Put two baby dolls near it, and put the dolls in a sexually provocative position.

Then call a local art gallery saying you have a piece from a new-age dadaist. They will come expecting garbage, they will get it.

Because you're probably semi-normal, you will play the assistant. The real artist refuses to meet anyone who has seen or heard of his art. This allows you to shamelessly self-promote.

>>745107042
Not that anon but the profit margin on LSD is some crazy shit like 10,000% or something. Its cheap as fuck to make compared to like meth or coke

>>745110772
Besides that, if there was no demand, nobody would make it. Other anon is a faggot who sold coke once in high school and thinks he knows the drug trade.

>>745110499
This is brilliant, but I think >>745109062 is a safer route.

>>745109828
You're a fucking idiot. It's much easier to find someone than you think it is.

>>745111393
Sure, just call me an idiot to try and feel superior. Don't point out any flaws in my argument or anything. Not that you could anyway.

>>745106799
oh great, ill just go get a masters degree in chemisry real quick

I have an idea but it would take alot of work, luck, and a small team. 100% legal

>>745112226
Go

>>745111005
This. I know tons of people who eat acid but only maybe 3 who actually like coke

>>745111785
>dont point out the flaws
He did. Its much easier to find someone than you think it is.

I say you could do it with three or for people.
, .
go to pawn shops and goodwills and buy the laptops,.
.
install a linux distro on them as well as a smart mirror application, .
.
detach the hinge points for the screen so you can lay the screen flat against the back,.
.
next put a two way mirror on the screen, put the laptop in a frame, and then sell it. .
.
There are a few minor details that if want ill add.
.

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A work in progress

>>745108516
Ty 4 your shackles bb

>>745112759
Okay, let me "point out the flaws" in his argument, then.

It's not as easy as you think to find people.

>>745113035
Interested

buy it on a 0% credit card with high limits...if you believe you will be successful enough to pay it back

Smart mirrors go for $300+, sell them for $200-275 depending on the mirror.
Youll need someone who knows how to make a website.
As well they need to know SEO for the website.
If the site is done right it will get attraction globally, so shipping is a must.
You need to let people know your making them as often as possible by posting and connecting social media to the website.

>>745109828
Except you have no idea how capable the loan shark is. Or if he can just hire someone who will find you.

>>745114320
The hell is a smart mirrot

>>745115502
Sorry bro i got to turn in for the night ill post an email if you want to continue this chat later

>>745115502
[email protected]

Just google smart mirror for now

>>745106509
If you have a qualifying disability, you could get $60,000 in SSDI back pay.

Another thing is apply for federal grants in your field/profession.

Basically, if you can convince the government to give you the money they will.

>>745109828
Not op but can you expand on the "pitching yourself to the shark" and different identity bit? Also, if you have an idea of how to do it why haven't you?

>>745106700
Find someone who needs an organ and can be coerced into making a sizable gift to you for your self sacrifice (sell your kidney)

Buy a house in Vegas, fix it up, sell it. Easily make 60 k in two months. Vegas is prime real estate buddy.

>>745106509
literally impossible. even getting close to that in 2 months is next to impossible.

Stake in runescape

>>745116802
Explain?

>>745108291
"Tell them I have super cancer"

>>745108429
Don't up a fucking magic store you retard. You will fail.

>>745116970
Source?

>>745117145
Owning a store and having an in-depth understanding of the market in general.
Have you looked into population density maps at all?


Do you know how to form a business?


Do you know what a DBA is without looking it up?

Do you know what methods of advertisement would work for you?


Do You know the age bracket of your primary demographic?

If you can't answer these questions confidently you will fail, magic shops don't make money. What other products do you plan to carry? What display methods will you use? Have you established any form of online presence? Do you know how to list on sites like what and th player easily? Do you have accounts ready for them? Can you label and shop things on a regular basis? How will you handle mail? What distribution do you have in you're area? Can you even name 5 hobby supply warehouse that you can reasonably do bussiness with?

>>745117145>>745117481
EBay and tcg player. Also ship.

>>745117145
Also what foods will you carry if any? Snacks? Drinks? Where will you supply them from? What laws apply to you about them near you?

>>745117145
Sorry if I crushed your will. It had to be done.

>>745117481
>>745117637
I know most of these
The actual business ownership part (what a dba is, etc) I have family for
A few people in my family own businesses and a close criend of mine helped open another card shop

As far as drinks/snacks, there aren't really any legal issues
I could buy them from walmart and then resell them

Advertisement would be primarily social media/word of mouth and the fact that I have a sort of customer base

>>745118193
You didn't, I'm just presently busy

>>745118215
>the fact that I have a sort of customer base
I'm sure you believe this now. You will learn very quickly that this is not the case. What about distribution? Do you know who to start contacting? Is there a "shitty" shop in town or something making you want to open a store? What products other than magic do you plan to sell and in what proportion? What markets exist for said product in your area?

>>745118378
The nearest store owner got caught selling fake cards and people in the area have been asking me to open a store so that they have somewhere else to go
Other stuff includes accessories and other tcgs
Obviously that can change based on the area demand

>>745118378
Markets would include walmart and 1 store within 40 miles and 4 stores within 80 miles

>>745118676
>been asking me to open a store
> includes accessories and other tcgs

You have no idea what you're doing, not even fucking close man. I've owned a store for two and a half years. Youd be making a huge mistake to invest 60 thousand dollars in something you clearly know so little about. Playing a game well and being a good store owner are totally different, dont delude yourself.

>>745118916
I'm not going to write out a forty page business plan on fucking 4chan, I've done my research I'm just busy
Does your store not sell gaming accessories and other tcgs?
Do people have an interest in buying things from you?

>>745119065
Instantly to butthurt. I get 10 guys a month in my store talking like you, maybe 1 in 100 opens a store, I've seen 0 succeed. Don't waste your money.


also
>Does your store not sell gaming accessories and other tcgs?

No my store sells a lot more than "gaming accessories and other tcgs". Your statment misses about 65% of my sales. Im not asking for an essay just dont fuck yourself, you can just not be a retard.

>>745119538
not op what does your store sell? are you a brand big store lil store do you do tournies and shit how do you make most of your money (my dad owns a business and so im also interested)

>>745119065
There are Facebook groups that are for hobby store owners. Try to join one, you might find one of the ones I'm on If so you'll find a lot of people asking the same questions I ask but in a nicer way.

>>745119600
In short I sell the major TCG's, RPG's, Miniatures, Boardgames, accessories, Models, Comics, and experiences. I'd have to go into brands to give a better description which isn't really worthwhile here.

Minis make bank, the occasional comic makes me a pretty penny, the internet is fucking huge.

Im a small store with two employees.

>>745119893
ight so almost like boscos? trying to place you

>>745119939
>boscos

I'm sorry I don't know what this is off hand.

>what's the best legal way to make $300K a year

Have you invented anything revolutionary lately? No. Then fuck off.

>>745120042
i might have randomly named a local card shop well i embarrassed my self im out

>>745120146
Ight

>>745120146
IN ALASKA i SEE?

>>745120262
ohshit.jpg

>>745119538
What part of >>745119065 indicates butthurt?
I started the thread to ask if anyone knew good ways to make money that might have a short point for diminishing returns, didn't feel like I needed to detail my inventory
Also keep in mind demographics are different

>>745119893
Also this sounds mostly like accessories and other things

>>745121666
Satanic Trips