got jury duty for the first time. how the fuck do i get

Research Jury Nullification

>>744934684
Just be super racist, sexist, or a flat earther.

>>744934684
Pretend to know the defendant

>>744934684
Look at the guy or girl who is on trail and mumble that you are gonna kill them if they are found innocent, make sure their lawyers sees you.

Jesus, just say you don't believe you would be impartial or you don't believe you have the god given right to judge other people or something. Simple as that.

>>744934684
When they talk to you, tell them flat out that you hate white people. Even if you're white. People don't seem to judge as hard when a white dude is racist against other whites, but you still are technically nulled by it, so you're free.

>>744934684
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqH_Y1TupoQ

>>744935199
im a sand nigger

Fill out any paperwork with a crayon

>>744934684
Just say you fucking hate niggers and they are just ruining your city. You won't get called back.

>>744935044

pretend to know pretty much anybody related to the case or court and you're 100% out

>>744934684
Real talk, Tell them your racist and youll be off easy.

do i still have to go on the first day tho? can i make up some bullshit on this paper they sent me to fill out ?

>>744934684
Seem biased one way or another

>>744935375
yell allahu akbar while wearing ISIS shirt

File: 1505150778699.gif (2MB, 200x259px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 200x259px

>Say you are a rape victim
>Look judge in the eyes and call him/her a rapist

>>744934684
You are more than likely going to get dismissed. If you don't just mention that your father is a cop or your mother is a lawyer. Instantly removed by the defense attorney. Also if you don't registrar to vote you won't get called. Or commit a crime like a misdemeanor. Urinating in public type of thing trespassing.

>>744935375
Tell them that you hate sand niggers, they'll instantly oust you, haha.

>>744935756
Fill the paper out see this>>744936321
you will be placed in a group B or c depending on the case then they will select based on the group if you are young you probably wont get selected.

>>744934868
This. If you can be really racist towards the person on trial, theyll probs send you home.

>>744934684
how about doing your civic duty.
chances are they wont want an autist on the panel and they'll send you home anyway, so just go.

>>744936921
fuck that

I would do it for the high probability that it's war on drugs or prostitution related then refuse to convict. But to get out of it, just say you're psychic so will immediately know if they're guilty.

>>744937001
Agreed jury duty is fucking miserable and they give you shit money for it.

>>744934684
Tell the Truth, You hate Niggers and the Government, bam never will be called again

>>744937030
its about a border patrol agent that shot a 16 year old mexican near the border smuggling shit through, all i know

>oh no i have to leave my mom's basement
grow the fuck up

>>744937139
how the fuck would you know if you haven't gone yet?

>>744937209
it was on the paper they sent me lol

>>744937204
i like it down here, plus i shouldn't be forced to do that shit i got better shit to do

>>744937397
good luck with your bench warrant

and just a word or advice: if you show up and try to bullshit your way out of it, they're going to see right through you. they deal with people like you all the time.

>>744938106
you telling me i can't get dismissed if i say its against my religion? i don't see why not

Talk about the case on social media. Guaranteed you'll be off the jury.

>>744934684
Just say u r prejudiced against blacks

>>744934684
Tell judge u get seriously flatulant when sitting for long boring periods of time.

Just soil yourself. They'll ask you to leave.

>>744934684
Turn up drunk as fuck, I'm anon and I'm a alcohol.
Or drugs which ever you prefer

Start jerking it while u r listening to rape story

Not sure if it'll work, but I was in selection sitting in the box. I told the judge that I work nights so I would come to court in the morning really tired. He let me leave. This was for some large multiple day case thing though, not just a one day thing that happens most the time.

>>744934684
HOLY CRAP THAT WHIITE LADY IS HOT! GOOD THING THERE IS A NIGGER HAND IN THE FORGROUND SHOWING HIS DOMINANCE BLACKS WIN AGAIN GG WHITES

>>744934684
just hint at the idea of jury nullification and they'll never let you sit on a jury ever again.

>>744939188
i'm surprised this hasn't turned into a taylor thread

>>744939302
how would i hint at it with a second degree murder case? i understand it would be very easy to do with anything weed related but idk about a murder case

>>744939188
>Edward Nigger Hands

>>744934684
Jury duty isn't even bad. More often than not, you'll just show up and sit around until jury selections are done, then you go home. Just attend and think of it as a day off.

>>744939552
im a full time student and missing lessons can set me back a lot in classes

>>744934684
just put on the form that you have to take care of someone elderly BOOM your done

>>744936921
I concur. Be a fucking citizen.

Just pretend that you never got the letter

>>744937139
Mention you're a Trump supporter. The defending lawyers will get you out quick. If that fails, say you admire Joe Arpio.

>>744939624
Mention that then on the form.

>>744934771
This. It's the easiest way as all you need to do is say "I know about jury nullification" and you are out. Just don't tell any other jurors about it as that is legal grey territory and you could get done for obstruction of justice.

>>744935375
Dress super Muslim, bring Koran, show extreme contempt for any females attached to case. Dismissed on prejudice.

>>744941070
Explain? Can this backfire?

File: bell.jpg (323KB, 1529x2048px) Image search: [Google]

323KB, 1529x2048px

Had it in march or so. Unfortunately I got selected to return after the first day which fucking blew. They give you a form on the second day to list occupation ad school and stuff and when the judge saw I was a student he let me leave. Didn't have to prove it either.

thanks for the advice anons, i filled out the form saying I can't due to school and religion and will be mailing it tomorrow. Wish me luck boys

>>744936321
>Also if you don't registrar to vote you won't get called.
Some states slap you on there just for having a driver license.
> Or commit a crime like a misdemeanor.
Wrong. You have to be CONVICTED of a felony.
I've gotten out of 2 felonies.
Also plead one down to a misdemeanor.
Guess what I STILL qualify for jury duty.
Even inquired about it and nope CONVICTED felon. Misdemeanors don't mean shit. Even if it's a felony plead down to one.

Now don't go shitting and pissing in public OP.

>>744934684
Tell the judge that you have been following the case and hope the accused gets maximum jail time

>>744934684
The one time I got called I went into the courthouse, sat around while they calle a bunch of people up, then they just told me to go home. You probably won't even have to make an excuse. If you do get to the selection phase just say something like you distrust police and wouldn't believe anything they said.

Or you could just fucking go and stop being such a faggot. You get paid and it would be interesting.

>>744934684

Just what I do over the yrs and just not respond or show up.

>>744934684
Pretend you never got it or say you don't have time because of work