Hey there, Anon. How's things? Feeling down? Need a

*talkie talkie talkie talkie talkie*

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>>744605799
*talkie talkie talkie*

What's up?

>>744605711
pls letme die ty

>>744605711
Hi, how are you?

Green tea faggot checking in
*hugs*

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>>744605853
Why? Why can't you, and why do you want to?

>>744605908
I'm feeling okay, how are you, Anon?

>>744605918
Good evening, Green. How has your week been? *hugs back*

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>>744605970
some cripple shot me

>>744605970
A little bit down but fine, thanks

It was raining earlier today. I really like driving in this kind of weather. If somebody's feeling down, they should cruise around town to take things off their mind.

>>744605711
Every day is a little better
Could use a hug though :)

>>744605970
My past two weeks have been absolutely shit. How about yours?

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>>744606102
Damn. In real life? I hope it wasn't anywhere too vulnerable.

>>744606154
But is just fine good enough? Hopefully you're just in a slump and will begin to feel better eventually, Anon. But if this goes on without changing, you'll need to do something about it.

>>744606165
I may do just that tomorrow Anon, thank you.

>>744606240
*hugs you tightly*

That's good to hear, Anon. I hope things continue on this track.

>>744606311
That's not good to hear. This past week has gone okay; little stressful, little happy.

What went wrong?

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>>744605711
Ups and downs.
Been on fairly long up streak, so I'm kinda afraid of what comes next.

>>744606385
You're very welcome. Is something on your mind?

i'm 6'4, 230 pounds, white, with great features, real interests, and am talented, can hold a job, and live on my own.

why cant i get a gf
why cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gfwhy cant i get a gf

>>744606385
Just about anything that could do got into fights while in holiday I'm Spain, getting kicked out our hotel because of the fights, friend got handcuffed, had to fork out a extra like 400 for a different hotel and shit, my boyfriend on the verge of leaving, you name it. I hope next week is slightly less stressful for you

>>744605711
Been down lately but I know it's because I just have a lot on my plate.

I want cute dresses!

>>744606385
nah didn't get shot, just going through hydrocodone withdraw and it sucks ass

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>>744606597
You might be timid.

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So far it ain't that bad. I really need to sleep more, maybe talk to some more people without scaring them away. Basic shit really.
Hugs always appreciated though, it's one of the only aspects of humanity i kind of still like.

>>744606794
i am, but that is still total bullshit

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>>744605711

No.

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>>744606415
Hold on to it as long as you can, and brace yourself for the drop. That's all you can do.

>>744606483
Yeah. I've been digging myself into more and more obligations, and I'm starting to doubt I can handle them all.

>>744606597
Well, what have you been doing to try to get one? Tell me why you don't have one now.

>>744606608
That's terrible. I hope you can hold onto him, and recover from this. It sounds like a pretty stressful situation.

>>744606728
Will the load lighten up with time? I hope you can find some time for yourself every now and then, Anon. Without that you'll drive yourself crazy with overwork. It's happened to people I know well, and I don't want to see it happen to you.

>>744606757
Why don't you have any?

>>744606773
Oh, that does suck. What helps take your mind off it?

>>744606883
*hugs you tightly* I can't give you a real one, but maybe this will help. Try to get into the habit of waking up at the exact same time every morning; it'll help a lot. People skills will come with practice.

>>744606996
Okay.

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>>744606936
That's life.
Take all that good shit and still, no girl will want to fuck you if you don't the have the balls to fuck them.

>>744607103
Yeah it is worse of all I've run out of green tea

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>>744607103
just watchin random vids on youtube and rolling on the floor crying helps make the pain go away

>>744607103
Not much. I put myself out there, get some attention, but not enough. I'm not gonna chase women or hit on them like an idiot, just to potentially embarrass myself. It's not worth it. I'm 27 and a virgin btw

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>>744605711
I've been really sad for the last few months because I left my girlfriend last October and I've realized that I let my soulmate go. When I told her, she said she needed space.

I would do anything to be with her again. I dream of her every night. We have a dog together.

Man I suck

>>744607103
I believe in you, anon! Have you really stopped to take a look around you? Anything is possible. It's just a matter of trying to find the best way to get there.

Do you procrastinate? If so, I'd love to offer you some tips I learned: find 10 or 15 minutes to put all distractions aside to focus purely on the task at hand. After 10-15 minutes one of two things will happen: Either you complete what you had to do or you'll make a dent and feel better about yourself for the progress.

I don't know if this could be applied to your circumstances but I really hope it helps.

>>744607103
I don't have cute dresses because I don't have enough money to buy the ones I want.

>>744605711
I can't remember the last time I was happy.

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>>744607103
I don't know man, I have a weird relationship with the Sandman, and with most people as well. But hey, I've got some friends that kind of like me somehow.
Either way I think it's really nice of you to be there for people like me or other /b/rothers, you're an extremely kind hearted person and i'd hug you back if i could.

>>744607581
I can, and I really don't know if it's better.

>>744607251
Well, have you got hot chocolate? It's been getting cold around here, I could use some hot chocolate right now... Hopefully you'll be able to get some more soon.

>>744607386
That's one way to deal with it. You'll get past this, Anon. It may take a while, and it may hurt for a long time, but you'll make it.

>>744607416
Well, you can't expect them to just fall on you. But you don't need to hit on them like an idiot. Talk to them. Don't just stand there and present yourself. Engage girls in conversation. If you see a girl you like the look of, start talking to her and get to know her.

>>744607541
Have you talked to her since? Maybe she's got the space she needed, and is ready to get back together.

>>744607548
It really can be applied, and it's a step further than what I've been doing. You're right Anon, that's exactly what I need to do, or I'll be stuck here forever. Thank you very much.

>>744607563
Well, saving money can take a long time. But it'll be worth the effort taken to get them in the end, right? Bide your time. Wait, and then enjoy them when you've finally earned it.

>>744607581
Happiness is overrated. But that's pretty bad. What did you once enjoy, Anon? You're depressed now, and you either need to drag yourself out of it, or get some real help.

>>744607679
Hey, that's cool. You're doing pretty good then.

Sometimes I try. Thank you, Anon.

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>>744607941
Shoot, I forgot. Here's an image.

>>744605711
I'm out of town due to the hurricane and I'm pretty stressed out..... I. Wed a hug....

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>>744608028
*hugs you tightly* Are you worried? Or was it difficult and stressful to evacuate?

My friends all kinda leaving me/ don't care about me, and I'm somehow okay with this.

I've been basically emotionally dead for a while now. I'm not depressed, I'm not even sad or angry anymore.

No one really likes me, let alone love me. Aside from my parents, of course, but they are almost hardwired to do so, so they don't quite count. But hey, at least I can count on them :)

>>744605711
I don't know if i'll ever know love. it's hard for me to get attached to someone. i never got that feeling of love

>>744607941
yeah i know, i just want another damn fix so bad, but that shits gonna kill me

>>744608127
*hugs back tightly*
A little bit of both. Moving to Alabama too in a few weeks and if the house is totaled we'll be in deep trouble.

>>744607941
we arent on silent terms. I drunk texted her last friday. I said I miss you darlin, wherever you are. She sent a message a day later saying that she misses me like crazy, and a broken heart emoji.

I know that I might see her soon, but I'm so scared.

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>>744608267
oops, pic

>>744608224
If you aren't trolling you may be some degree of sociopath

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>>744607941
Maybe somenight I'll even pick up a set of images from a character i like and try doing the same.
This board needs more threads like this.

>>744605711
Hi. I'm just here for a hug. May I?

>>744607941
>Happiness is overrated. But that's pretty bad. What did you once enjoy, Anon? You're depressed now, and you either need to drag yourself out of it, or get some real help.

I was happy playing sports. I miss baseball and football the most. I played almost everything except basketball.
I hate thinking about living 1 more year, let alone 50-70. I'm too lonely.

>>744608378
Maybe...

>>744605711
She left 5 years ago but i still feel empty. Not really sure what im supposed to do except piss life away one day at a time

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>>744608651
I know how you feel I've been kicking myself in the back of the leg over a girl from high schools, I'm 21 now....

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>>744608176
That's depression. Emotional deadness, being without feeling. I like you Anon, and I want to see you rise out of this. I want to see you feel things again and succeed in the real world.

You can't change other people, Anon. If they're going to drift away from you, there's not much you can do about that. But you can improve yourself, and start to feel things. You may need to force yourself to enjoy things at first, but if you do it enough the feelings should come back.

>>744608224
I know exactly how that is Anon, and I don't understand it. I wish I could help you, but I've never fallen in love with anyone either. I'm sorry.

>>744608267
Get your mind off it, Anon. Fill that feeling of longing with something else. Play a game, or spend some time with friends.

>>744608319
Oh, that's bad. All you can do right now is wait, I guess. The storm came at the worst time for you.

>>744608321
Talk to her when you see her, and tell her you want to get back together. Don't be afraid to apologize. You've got this Anon, you can fix this relationship and get her back.

>>744608381
I'm sure the other anons would appreciate it. I've been told by others who've done this that there's only space for one thread per night, but I think there could stand to be two. Do it however you want Anon, don't feel obligated to coordinate for anyone or follow any rules.

>>744608463
*hugs you close* Of course, Anon.

>>744608509
Start playing again, Anon. Take a soccer ball out to a field and dribble it around, practice some moves. Toss a baseball around with whoever you can find. If people walk by, ask 'em if they want to play. It's worked for me on occasion.

Sports are a great way to get a bunch of people meeting each other and working together. Start playing again, even if it's on your own at first. I think it'll help.

>>744608651
You need to move on, Anon. You need to get her out of your mind, and start thinking about other people. It's really hard, but you have to do it.

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>>744608224
I know that feeling.
After my second family dumped me I sort of lost the ability to maintain friendships, or feel much anything beyond animal impulses like lust, hunger, anger, depression, and occasionally happiness.
But never love.

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>>744608777
It's difficult and painful, but you have to move on from her Anon. Get her off your mind and get on with your life. She's gone now, and she's not coming back. The regret may linger, but you can't let it rule you anymore.

Also.

Nice picture.

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>>744609092
Thanks friend

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>>744608964
I think one thread per night is better, reinforces the character within it. Thanks for the advice anon.

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>>744609229
Is that one from an artbook? I haven't seen it before.

>>744609244
Okay. Well, you do you. Good luck.

>>744609357
I think it's from an art book

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>>744609357
>>744609092
>>744608964
>>744608319
>>744608127
>>744607991
If all of you Naussica posters are interested I know of a musical/ghibli discord

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>>744609479
Okay, cool. Thanks.

>>744609582
There's only one of me, and there might be another anon who posted one or two. I'm interested.

>>744608964
>Start playing again, Anon. Take a soccer ball out to a field and dribble it around, practice some moves. Toss a baseball around with whoever you can find. If people walk by, ask 'em if they want to play. It's worked for me on occasion.

It's not the same, nobody cares about it.
I can't get people together to play a football game or even baseball.

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>>744609695
Here you go
dZGtcp

>>744608224
Most of time i fake emotions to try having a good time with people. But i never felt anything i couldn't contain.

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>>744609740
Hm. Maybe your interests have moved on. What can you do that you might enjoy? Any ideas?

>>744609787
Thanks.

>>744609953
Are you holding yourself back because you're afraid of getting hurt?

>>744605711
Fenn, why are you such a fagget?

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>>744610209
I dunno, you tell me.

I regret everything I've ever done in my life.

>>744610038
I really don't know.
Honestly, I get high, play a little bit of overwatch and probably get drunk to end the night. I sleep til about noon if I can.
I play old school video games from time to time, I'm not happy though, just content when I do.

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>>744610286
Every single thing? Do you regret posting here? Do you regret every time you've smiled or looked at a flower or a sunset? You've done good things, Anon. But you're stuck looking at only the bad ones. Don't let yourself believe that everything you've ever done is bad; you may not remember the good things, but they still happened.

Moving on, use your past experiences to avoid doing things you'll be likely to regret. You can build off of this, Anon.

>>744610391
Have you tried writing or drawing? You need something new to get you inspired and happy again.

>>744605711
Not good.

I really love this girl, and right now we are friends. She knows that I love her and yet she does this things that she knows will hurt me. What do I do?

>>744610504
>Every single thing? Do you regret posting here? Do you regret every time you've smiled or looked at a flower or a sunset?

Yes. In my current state, remembering happiness hurts more than wallowing in misery and pain does.

I regret posting here most of all. But I suppose what's done is done.

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>>744605711
I'm constantly worried about the rumor that the world will end on the 23rd this month.... I first saw it while casually browsing through /pol/ and now I'm constantly worried about it. What do you guys think?

>>744610647
Why worry? Just let the end come.

>>744610647
Maybe it'll end for Koreans...

I made a huge mistake of trusting a female "friend"
Never again.
God damn bitches.

>>744610862
What did she do?

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>>744610627
Hm. It seems to me like she's going to use you against yourself and destroy you without feeling bad about it.

>>744610632
Maybe you can build up some hope for future happiness. If you strive for it and shove through the pain, you could build up a positive tomorrow.

>>744610647
It's bullshit. Stop browsing /pol/, they're radical idiots and they don't know what they're talking about.

>>744610862
Hunker down and recover, Anon. Stay away from her, and choose your friends carefully. You won't make that mistake again.

Don't be thinking all girls are bad. Some are pretty great. But the bad ones are nasty as all hell.

>>744610999
>Maybe you can build up some hope for future happiness. If you strive for it and shove through the pain, you could build up a positive tomorrow.

I appreciate the kind words but there's no hope for me. I'm not here looking for help, I just wanted to vent some thoughts.

I'm sorry if that's not what this thread is for.

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>>744610999
Thanks

>>744610504
>Have you tried writing or drawing?

I've never cared for drawing, I was always bad and I think art is incredibly pretentious.
I wrote some memoirs or an autobiography, or whatever you would call it, but I always end up using the same words over and over and it ends up looking like a freshmen high schooler at best.
I wanted to try singing, but my voice is way, way, way too deep to sing the songs I want to. I naturally have a deep voice and it's been scared with screaming and smoke for years.

> You need something new to get you inspired and happy again.
Yeah...... I know.

>>744610647
the world's not going to end but even if it does, why worry when there's nothing you can do about it

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>>744611197
Vent all you want, Anon. That's really what the thread is for; I sometimes go a little overboard trying to "help".

>>744611226
The world was supposed to end seventeen years ago. And a whole bunch of other times. Maybe it already has, and this is just a slow decline into oblivion that we're experiencing now.

But don't worry, there's no sudden cataclysm coming on the 23rd.

>>744611346
"Art" is incredibly pretentious. Drawing for fun and not caring if it's good has nothing wrong with it. That's what I do. Art and writing will get better with practice. If you want to sing, start taking some lessons. Don't let it flop just because your voice is deep. I think a deep voice, even a scratchy one, is beautiful.

>>744610999
We were a couple, and she broke up with me because I'm changing. Admittedly I became obsessed with her and I started doing things that she would like and I lied to her. Whereas she wouldn't lie to me.

She does not want to use me against myself and destroy me from what I know because that's one of the main reasons she broke up with me, so I won't destroy myself.

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>>744612166
If you can back off the obsession, you might get with her again. But if you can't, it'd be more healthy for you to get away from her. Seems a little counter-intuitive, but given this new information, those are what I see as your options.

>>744612166
Destroy yourself anyway just to show her that her decision didn't accomplish anything.

>>744611613
>"Art" is incredibly pretentious. Drawing for fun and not caring if it's good has nothing wrong with it. That's what I do. Art and writing will get better with practice. If you want to sing, start taking some lessons. Don't let it flop just because your voice is deep. I think a deep voice, even a scratchy one, is beautiful.

I don't like drawing, I feel like I'm apart of a toxic community if I'm doing it.
I only started writing because I thought I might kill myself.
I tried joining a singing class in college, it was weird. I was only one of 4 guys in the class of about 30, we did an exercise about what we enjoy to get to know each other, then the teacher found out I liked football and sports.
She said it was like she was trying to teach John Madden how to sing.
She said my voice was unique and I should consider broadcasting.
I took the rest of the class and felt fairly ignored throughout the semester.

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>>744612643
Okay. Well, did the weird experience put you off from singing lessons overall, or do you think you'd like to try them again?

I broke up with my girlfriend because the stress of her job started to affect the kind of person she was. Feel like I let her down. Sank into a pit of depression. Tried to kill myself. Failed. Reached out to a friend. Told me he was at a bachelor party, figured he'd get back to me in his own time. That was about threeish weeks ago. Hasn't gotten back to me. Don't want to send another text and seem desperate, even though I am. Everytime someone mentions food I feel like I'm going to throw up. I just want to fucking die now please.

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>>744613077
Send him another text. You're desperate, and that's okay. Talking to a real person in this situation will help you a lot.

I do think you made a mistake in breaking up with her. Can that be changed? Can you get back with her and support her in her time of stress?

Text your friend right now. Before you respond to this.

>>744613077
Just find something to obsess over, throw yourself into it, make new friends.

>>744612394
Thanks, I really wanted an opinion that is not mine and hers.

Can I get a hug as well?

>>744612895
Not overall, but it didn't help.
I never got any better though, just adapted to my voice to get through some classes.

I'm in a toxic relationship and I can't really do anything about it until I get back to the states in a few months. My husband is completely blind to the horrible things he's done to me and insists he did the best he could. I wasn't the most emotionally supportive but I've been the main breadwinner and housekeeper for the past year while he sat on his ass and played video games. I've asked for his help multiple times, often at my breaking point, and no dice. I brought up divorce before I left and I was set on it but we made up for a bit but when I tried to bring up divorce again, he just shut me out. I want him to get himself back on track for the time I'm gone but I'm afraid I'll get back and see he hasn't changed at all.

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>>744613524
*hugs you tightly*

Good luck, Anon. I hope you can work things out.

>>744613609
I think taking more lessons will do you some good. Instruction is very beneficial when learning a skill; you obviously can't learn everything through practice alone.

>>744613889
If he's never going to contribute anything, you've got to get away from him. Don't let him drag you down with him any more. So you can't let him talk you out of it again. If you're set on it, you do it.

>>744613889
>My husband is completely blind to the horrible things he's done to me and insists he did the best he could.

Maybe he did. Maybe his best is being a piece of shit.

Anyway, divorce sounds like the only logical answer here. I hope you don't have any kids with him.

>>744613994
>I think taking more lessons will do you some good. Instruction is very beneficial when learning a skill; you obviously can't learn everything through practice alone.

Yeah......thanks, I don't know what I was expecting but thanks for talking.

>>744613310
I'm not going to be in a relationship were the other person feels that screaming at the other for 20 minutes over a dirty cup is justified. She only stopped because her throat started to hurt. I'm not going back to that, not matter how much I hate myself for it. Also it's 3 in the morning and he's a normie, in the sense that he has a job, dog, responsibilities etc. Not texting him at this hour.

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going to get a drink after playing yet another shitty game of TF2

>>744605711
I hope the banana dude doesn't fuck up your thread again.

>>744614139
>Also it's 3 in the morning and he's a normie, in the sense that he has a job, dog, responsibilities etc. Not texting him at this hour.

If you want him to respond then it's better to look desperate. Just saying.

>>744613411
Nothing interests me, I have no energy, and I'm socially retarded.

Thanks for this thread my friend. You made me remember that there's good people.

>>744614246
Doesn't have to interest you, you just have to obsess over it regardless of your own emotions.

Pick something at random. You might grow to like it when you start to feel things again.

>>744605711
I've always wondered, are these threads run by the feds to counter the toxic culture that this site creates? Is it a reaction to the increase in gun violence and extremism in high school boys across the country?

Butt.

>>744614244
I'd honestly rather never speak to another human being again if the only contact i can get is out of pity. Fuck that pathetic shit.

>>744614456
I mean, if that's the choice you want to make then make that choice.

I did that. I really don't recommend it.

>>744605711
*Hugs tightly* I'm going to bed goodnight nice friend

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>>744614135
Good luck, Anon. I'm sorry I couldn't help you.

>>744614139
Hm. Okay, I see. But text him again as soon as you can, okay? He might have forgotten.

>>744614144
Have a drink, don't play another game. Do something else. What else do you enjoy?

>>744614158
I hope he does.

>>744614246
Force yourself to do something. It's difficult, but in the end it'll be worth it.

>>744614329
Sometimes I try.

There are always good people, even when you can't see them. Often, good people don't want to be seen. I think that's part of what makes them good people.

>>744614451
No, I don't have any purpose so high and mighty as that. I just do it because I want to. No government involvement, no nothing. There's a community of people that does similar threads, and I'm sort of a part of that.

Don't worry man, I'm not a cop. But that's just what I would say if I was a cop, isn't it?

>>744614456
It won't be pity forever. But sometimes a little pity can get you just what you need.

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>>744614583
*Hugs you back* Thank you. Sleep well, Anon.

>>744614610

I wouldn't blame you if you were a cop. Humans weren't made for the internet. I just wish the government was overt about the cultural shaping campaigns.

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>>744614610
Ya I stoped playing a bit ago cause I had enough. Anyway I got you those pictures you wanted to see. Heres one of the two horror themed ones I did. Tried to add symbolism to it about censorship.

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>>744614805
Of course this one isn't final. Heres another horror themed one. Was inspired to do this one based off of a horror manga artist that did the people going into holes manga

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>>744614942
And heres a blob I did. That was all the photo's I took.

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>>744614762
To be honest, I hate how much the government tries to control our lives. Many people I know have been screwed over pretty hard by systems that are supposed to "help" them.

If they'd just leave well enough alone, everyone would be safer and happier. They'll never realize that though. And even if they did, they'd be too weak to relinquish their power.

>>744614805
It's plenty spooky. Looks almost like she's wrapped in medical gauze.

>>744614942
I was actually just reading that one today. That's a short story at the end of a longer manga about robots that clamp onto dead bodies and use them as gas pressure sources.

The whole thing is pretty freaky.

That's a good picture though, the faces look pretty tortured.

>>744614993
Huh, okay. Any story behind that one?

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>>744615214
That was what I was going for, bandages. Some insperation from Silent Hill. I won't go into to much detail but there is a reason why I left one ear standing out and one free hand.

Also glad I got to convoy the faces. I never really did people before so I was winging it a little bit with the faces.

As for the blob nothing really. I is based off of another picture I did a long time ago, of a cutesy thing with devil horns and a halo surrounded by candals except it was dont in pastals. Wanted to do someething simple while practicing my light shading.

I'm thinking about making a feels discord server for anons who want to talk, would any of you be interested in joining?

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>>744615546
Sounds like you had fun. If you want to get good at people, it's important to study the underlying muscular and skeletal structure. If you can initially sketch out where the biggest bones and muscles poke out, it's much easier to form the full figure. It applies to the face too; if you've got a good idea of what parts of the face are most prominent and how they attach together, it's quite easy.

>>744615734
I would.

>>744615734
>>744615762
I went ahead and made it

/qTYgbY4

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>>744616127
I'm not much of a feels person but I'm sure others will like it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDai6PJxiWw

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Hello again Nausicaa

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>>744615762
Hi!
Damn, I almost missed you!

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>>744616910
Hey there, cute. How's things?

>>744616916
Welcome to the thread, Mantis. Do you want me to notify you on Discord when the threads are up?

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>>744617184
Yeah, that would help me a lot!
Ok, gotta go into work now, but I'll check in during my lunch break, like last night and before!

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>>744616916
Hey Mantis, work starting soon?

>>744617184
I'm doing alright I suppose. Played some games on the PC again finally, was fun.
You?

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>>744617456
Alright, thank you. Take care. I'll make sure I do that next time.

>>744617506
That does sound pretty nice. I haven't been doing too much lately. Did meet some new people though, that was good.

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>>744617571
It was, even if it only was a short while. You always seem to meet new people, don't you?

I give up

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>>744618052
I see a lot of people. I talk to a lot of people. It's become second nature.

>>744618105
Why?

>>744618151
everything sucks

>>744618151
IRL or via here?

Hey! You gave me advice about how to get a job last week. I just wanted to let you know I still play World of Warcraft 11 hours a day.

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>>744618333
Well, can you change it?

>>744618423
Both. But mostly IRL.

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>>744618469
That doesn't seem ideal, Anon. Did you decide not to get a job, or did it not work out?

>>744618474
Must be nice.

>>744618538
My anxiety kicked in and I realized I would have to talk to other people, so I stayed in the basement.

>>744605711
I want to be a trap. I can't find any guides.

>>744605711
In all honesty OP I'm not really feeling well, as someone who's really passionate about music and my boyfriend of 5 months doesn't want to share the kind of music he listens to because "I get scary when I talk about music" really hurts
It makes me think that he doesn't even care about me y'know?

>>744618474
no

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>>744618105
Don't we all?

>>744618151
I've seen a lot of people but never talked
to them.

>>744618728
Eat well, avoid meat, exercise regularly, go into hormone therapy.

>>744618902
What makes you scary?

>>744618963
I don't really know, I mean, I get passionate about it when I talk about certain bands or genres. I guess it just comes off as scary to some people ;-;

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>>744618562
Sometimes it really isn't.

>>744618712
That's something you need to overcome, Anon. You can't succeed in the real world without talking to people. You need to be strong.

>>744618728
I can't really help you there, Anon. Sorry. Shave, get hormones if you can?

>>744618902
Can you explain to him how you feel about this?

>>744618953
Shit sucks, man. Sorry.

>>744618963
A lot of times people talk to me, and I just keep talking to them.

>>744619108
I'll work on handing in some applications this week. But first i'll have to take a trip to my fucking barber, god he talks so much, and he's gonna ask me how I've been doing. I'll have to tell him I've been good. I went to a different barber last time and he's gonna know I did that. I'll have to lie and say I was in japan.

Will report back here with results in the next thread.

>>744605711
The girl i used to love hates me now, and if I'm honest, I hate her for hating me, but still I love her.
Truth is I'm still unsure, did she ever love me, but it doesn't matter anymore, she blames me for mistakes we both made, and will probably never talk to me again.

>>744619108
I've talked to him about it in the past and how much is genuinely hurts but he's still scared to talk about music around me, he told me that he's never told anyone what type of music he listens to because of insecurities but when it's a big part of my life and I can't even talk to someone I care about it just
it doesn't feel good man

>>744619108
I'd rather have your problem of being sometimes too socially engaged than stuck here with the exact opposite.

Guys why is fenn such a fagget? s;

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>>744619378
Don't say you were in Japan. Too many ways for that to go wrong. Say you went to a different barber. It's not that bad. He might ask you how their service is compared to his, and then you can say that you prefer him. Or not.

Good luck, Anon.

>>744619436
If she's going to act like that, give up on her. Get away from her, force your mind onto other subjects, and hopefully the love will change.

>>744619438
Hm. Could you ease off on your... intensity? It could be that he's really just reluctant to open up about this, regardless of how you react. It may take some time, but I think eventually you two will be able to talk nicely about music.

>>744619651
I wish I could give it to you. I feel alone, and sometimes I wish I really could be.

>>744619775
Dunno mane, why am I such a faggot?

>>744619868
>I feel alone, and sometimes I wish I really could be.
Elaborate.

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>>744620055
No.

>>744620135
Why not? I want to listen. Unless it's too personal.

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Turns out there was already another feels discord, this is the invite.

J3ZaTdq

There's only three of us in there, but i'm up and i'd like to voice chat if anyone else feels like it.

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>>744620208
I don't know how to say it. Maybe I'll mention it anonymously sometime. I appreciate your concern, Anon. Thank you.

>>744620340
Everyone, bomb it with friendliness or something.

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Hello again, it's Z checking, again

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>>744620489
Hey Z. I'm dead tired, but we can talk for a while. What's up? How are you feeling tonight?

>>744619868
music anon here
I'll take your advice and see what I can do, I hope this will work because I really don't want my relationship to go downhill because of me ;-;

>>744620622
I'm kinda meh....but don't worry about it, no need to keep yourself awake for me

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>>744620647
If something is unchangeable and beyond your control, it isn't your fault. Okay? Don't be telling yourself that this is your fault. It's nobody's fault.

>>744620715
I'm staying awake for the thread anyway. Let's talk. How did your day go?

Also, do you have email or Discord?
[email protected]
Fenn#4548

>>744620811
I do have email that I sometimes use
[email protected]

And if you're sure then I can stay. It was just long and tiring....being sociable takes a toll on my nerves

>>744620811

Hey, I know I haven't been talking on this thread at all, but I saw your posts and thought you sounded really neat- I wanted to add you on discord and maybe chat sometime, not about my problems, but to just be friends. Is that okay? (:

>>744619868
>>744605711
Love anon here, I just want us to be friends again like we were before. The romantic rejection hurts, but not nearly as much as her rejection of friendship.

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>>744621085
Alright, now I can talk to you more regularly, and in private. This is good. Use the email for anything really private; Discord is not even remotely secure. Social situations are hard, Z. Really hard. Even for me, and I do stuff like that a lot. It doesn't necessarily get less hard, but you can get better at it.

>>744621177
Yeah, that's fine. You can do that.

>>744621298
You can't change her, Anon. Stoicism will be your friend here. I wish you could be her friend too, but maybe that won't ever happen. Sometimes, you can't get what you want for stupid reasons. It sucks, but it can't be changed. I'm sorry.

Hey, I am the anon that was here last night that fucked up his relationship with his two best friends. The only update I have is that I won't be speaking to either of them after tomorrow. I lost them

My whole month has been shit and its not getting better soon. Im married freelancer i have a debt of 1900 and i have only 20 in my pocket... god what a shit country to live in ( not murika)

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>mfw I can't sleep

>>744621607
I'm not gay btw

>>744621501
And I'm still...uncomfortable? I think is the best word, with being just talking to people....like I turned down an invitation to go down to another city for the weekend because I didn't want to be the weird introverted guy ruining the mood

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>>744621534
Shit, I'm sorry Anon. That's hard. Good luck... dealing with that. It's gonna be painful for a long time.

>>744621542
When's the debt due? Things sound complicated, Anon. I hope you can sort them out.

>>744621607
Melatonin? Nyquil? Opium? Youtube?

I'm the perfect recall guy from last night.

I didn't commit suicide.

Still might. I'm here for the time being, anyway. Recommend rock music to fill the void, please.

>>744608224
>>744609953
this i fake emotions a lot and i haven't really felt a connection with someone else for a while

>>744621607
Try a hot shower and a light snack

>>744621855
Perfect recall?

I need a lot. Maybe a bullet. I'm torn between multiple worlds. I'm 23, got a wife and a beautiful daughter, got a house and old, but paid off vehicles. I had a great career as a shipfitter at my local shipyard make mega bucks hourly, but I quit and started working an IT gig with my stepfather for my own safety and well being making 10k less a year starting out. It was going well at first, done weekend gigs with them and summer spots regularly, but then we started losong clients, started losing money, started yelling and fighting constantly because we can't seem to seperate work from home and family.
Now they can't afford me and only have enough fundd left to keep me around another 3 weeks.
I'm steadily looking for jobs wjthin my criteria, I've almost given up to just settle for 3 or 4 fast food jobs. 24/7 365. If I don't do so, or don't find anything soon, I lose my house and my family has no where else to go.
And it's too fucking difficult to find a job these days willing to hire anybody. I fucked up our finances cause I was blowing most the good money I was making at the shipyard on useless crap. I've been thinking of leaving my wife and child so that they are no longer in this situation. No one needs me around cause I continue to fuck everything up.

>>744621830
You can call me M. I'll probably be coming around a lot, so having even a letter might make this easier.

Yeah, they were my main support system. Without them, I don't know what to do. I'm also going to have to break off ties with my only other friend. Our group is too intertwined to stay talking to him. So I will be alone again. I don't know what to do

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>>744619094
Do you have a certain time that may come off as frightening?

>>744619108
No one ever really sticked with me

>>744622067
holy shit thats pretty fucking bad anon

certain time? Could you elaborate on that?
sorry English isn't my first language ;-;

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>>744621823
That's understandable, Z. Your worries are mostly in your head, though. It's very difficult to truly understand what others think of you, and a lot of this is you expecting others to think less of you than they do.

You're really not doing so bad.

>>744621855
Good to hear you're still around, Anon. Links incoming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCakV-pIKE8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fda0qh3wC_0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhMfz4HrcEA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJunCsrhJjg

>>744622067
Anon, you can't leave them now. You're not holding them down, you're the only hope they have. Be strong and stick with it, okay? It's really hard now; this may be the lowest point of your life. But it's going to get better from here. You might be able to feel out for another IT job if you've got some skills there, and make some more money that way.

Good luck. Shit's happening to you, far worse than what happens to most people. You're strong enough to weather this though, I know you are.

>>744622105
Alright M, that sounds fine. You're going to need some new friends, some new support. I might be able to help, but I don't know... I'm not so good at helping people find friends.

>>744622283
I know how that is. I know a lot of people who I only see occasionally, some of whom just drift through friend groups. Everybody does things differently, I guess.

Can I please get a nice warm hug? I don't plan on being here much longer.

>>744621961

By association. Meaning that my memories come with incredibly accurate sensory recollection. I can smell the leaves rotting at my best friend's funeral. Fucking killer, especially with my depression.

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>>744622686
*hugs you close* I'm sorry I can't do more than that, Anon. Do you want to talk about it?

>>744622602
I just feel like every day I take two steps backwards. The voice in the back of my head is getting louder now, I can't stop thinking about my ex gf who I thought I was over, and now....I'm worried my one and only friend will probably stop talking to me for good soon

>>744621855
Music anon here, I might actually be useful for once
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke06X9fAWAU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn2kja5M64s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhqijfqecvA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VigPPJ6j40
hope you feel better <3

>>744622814
It's okay.

I'm really just done living on this earth. I really can't force myself to see another day shit is just too hard. I can't do anything except lay in bed all day and eat. It physically hurts to move. I don't want to leave but I can't take it

>>744605711
I' about to turn 19 and haven't acomplished anything in my life, I have no friends but the real problem is that I don't know what to study, nothing interests me idk

I've been alone for 25 years, never was able to really talk to my family, friends or girls. Nobody knows me like some anons here do.

I don't want to be alone anymore, but it's been too long i don't know how to be not alone. I want a girl i can make happy, friends and family i can be honest with but it seems the time to build those relationships and the social skills needed for them was long ago.

Am i destined to be alone? I'll never be able to find someone who will accept me as i am as much as i do. I'm afraid i might have already developed a substance abuse thing.

>>744622602
Hell, just this helps at least a bit. I don't think I will ever find some friends like the ones I lost. We could talk about anything, regardless of how bad it was. We all supported each other, because all of us have our own issues to deal with. They talked me into going to the hospital when I wanted to die. They listened when I couldn't function, and I did the same for them. But all it took was one mistake, one time I lose control when I didn't even know I needed to control until I lost it.

On top of all of this, I cannot die. The girl friend said that if I did, she would kill herself. And I don't want that. So now I am stuck, alone, forever.

Finding new friends is so far down on my priority list, I don't know when I will ever even try

>>744605711
It's taken me 25 years to realize my mom is the root of most of my anxiety problems.

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>>744622941
Your mind must be in a turmoil with all this confusion going on, Anon. Can you take a step back and rest for a day without contact with these people? That might help.

>>744623024
I'm listening to these now... Proton Lander is pretty good so far. Thanks!

>>744623037
Are you too weak, or sick? It saddens me to hear this Anon, and I wish something could be done about it.

>>744623156
You're only 19. You're getting ready to begin life. Are you in college yet? Try a few things, pick something that interests you. If that fails, take programming or philosophy, or something else good and practical.

>>744623161
Could you be too afraid to open up to real life people? Is that what's holding you back? That was what blocked me from making real friends for a long time.

>>744623257
You won't be alone forever Anon, don't decide that now. What are you prioritizing higher than finding friends? It seems like having friends is really important to you.

>>744623473
Can you get rid of her now and get your mentality based on something other than her?

>>744623473
How so? I am neurotic af and have a very oedipal mother and i'm intrigued.

Maybe giving advice is its own therapy.

Ask me for help, and help me in turn.

Ask a complete cynic anything.

>>744623616
let's say I live in a country where college is totally different, I have to decide by myself what to study and then just go with it

>>744623616
If it's the people I work with....sorta. We get weekends off so tomorrow I don't have to see anyone unless I decide to leave my room....as for my friend
..I couldn't....she's literally all I have left outside my family....but now our texts are becoming fewer and fewer....where we used to text almost all day has turned to maybe 15 messages a day

>>744623673
>Maybe giving advice is its own therapy.
It is, i have tons of exp with it. Helping others helps you a lot.

>>744623616
>Could you be too afraid to open up to real life people? Is that what's holding you back? That was what blocked me from making real friends for a long time.
I definitely am, i've tried to open myself to other people but i fucked up the timing. i'm trying to take it slow but i need contention, compassion, etc. Whenever the gates open just a little bit it all comes flooding out.

>>744623616
>>744623970
Btw i'ts me mecha, fenn.

>>744605711
It just feels like the hits keep on comin' in 2017.
I have family affected by Harvey in TX, I have family trying to evacuate before Irma hits, and this Equifax leak is stressing me out. I worked hard to carve this tiny little bubble of financial security out for myself and I just feel assaulted on all fronts for some reason.

>>744623616
I need to focus on getting my depression and anxiety under control. Going to therapy that I started recently, getting some medication that works. I was also going to search for a new job because my current one is awful, but I probably can't do that considering I haven't been functioning the past two days. At least I can probably last a bit on my savings. Bonus points is I can stop spending money on doing things with them.

I cannot make friends in this state. I get caught up in my own head and can't deal with even trying. Fuck, that was true when I did have friends, because I made them during a better time in my life.

>>744623616
I guess it's just my time. I'm trying to hold on as long as I can, I want to beat this but it makes me sad to know I prolly won't. I'm weak because I can't handle what life throws at me.

>>744621830
Trying YouTube out that usually helps
I have issues when it comes to falling asleep so this happens when I'm on vacation or really stressed out.

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>>744605711
It's me from last night, how's life?

To pick up the topic from before: I wouldn't say I have many friends, but I am very close to a few people. People tend to be either very protective of me or critical of me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Also, I think small talk is tedious- no matter how pleasant it can be. I do have many acquaintances, as well as many people who care about me that I'm not necessarily close to.

I like picking out a few, receptive people, similar to yourself, and get to know them very deeply and intimately until it's almost like they become an instinctive part of me; it is hard to describe. If I met you out in the world, I'm sure we'd be close. I am a very qualitatively focused person, so having a small group of close people doesn't bother me much.

Though I haven't talked to most of them in years; I suppose I might be a pretty private person for how open I am. There used to be about a dozen, and most-to-all of them would lay down their lives for me, for some reason I cannot fathom. Now I have two plus one who misses me, after three years, and I won't talk to her until my issues are sorted out. She cares too much, and our conversations often devolve to my problems; I don't like that. I want her to be free of my burdens and be happy being her. Plus I already usually know what she'll say to me; more things I can solve personally, and more trouble and tedium than I like to deal with. My solace is that she is very happy and loved, even without me; I love her, and that is all I need to know to be at peace with it.

Though, yeah, simplify, simplify, simplify. I have been taking a break from myself today. Something about detached thinking makes it so much more involved and authentic in a very gentle way. Another thing that's hard to describe.

>>744605711
i dont know if anyone will even read this.
but i just feel like venting.
getting it off my chest.
i just had one of the most amazing mdma trips.
but STILL i just feel empty.

fml

ii just wanna be able to enjoy things.

>>744623616
>>744623649

I've felt like I've been in fight or flight mode the past several years like my switch has been stuck or something. She left the state to visit a relative for 2-3 weeks. I live with her because I'm going to school and I can't afford anything else. When she left it was the first time in a while I wasn't feeling that constant fight or flight mode. She came back last week and I noticed that fight or flight mode came back on and is stuck again. I'm dropping her off at the airport tomorrow because she has to go back. Its been a rough week.

>>744624666
Drugs won't fix your life, no matter how sick your get is. You need to work on it yourself.

>>744605711
I...I really like your hair.

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>>744623897
Good luck, Anon. I can't think of much more to say about that. Just find a balance between enjoyment and practicality.

>>744623936
I'm sorry, I had you confused with someone else. If your texts are becoming fewer and she's your only friend, you need to revitalize that. Initiate a little more conversation, if you can. Don't let her slip away from you.

>>744623970
Sometimes, you can't take it slow. And you just need to accept that. Choose your friends wisely, and tell them everything. It works for me.

>>744624119
Sometimes, you make a nice thing for yourself, and then somebody comes and takes it away. The world's trying to do that to you now. You may not be able to stop it. Shit sucks, I'm sorry Anon. There's nothing to be done about it.

>>744624275
Solve the depression before you try to get a new job. That's what's holding you back, and everything will become easier when it's gone. Don't let anything distract you from that just yet.

>>744624287
You're not that weak, Anon. You're pretty strong to have made it this far. I'm proud of you for not being dead yet. But everyone's time comes eventually, eh? I won't try to talk you out of it. A better man might.

>>744624445
Okay, good. Watch something quiet and boring for long enough, and hopefully you'll start to doze off.

>>744624493
Oh, hey Nihilist. You have a strong and healthy approach to people and friendships. You're focusing on just the right things. But the tight group of friends doesn't work if you don't talk to them. That's the most important part. I talk to my closest friends at least once a week, and usually hang out with them more often than that.

Sometimes you do need to talk about your problems with a friend, even if it's hard. It's good for you, and for them.

>>744624666
Damn. Well, you enjoyed it while it lasted. But what now? You need something stronger, more lasting. Something with deeper meaning. Friendship? Religion?

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>>744624666
>nice trips, satan

The reason you still feel empty is because you are using mdma in the same way many people use food: as a substitute for some other kind of fulfillment. The longer you feed into this habit, the longer you will continue to feel this empty.

Do you have any hobbies? Anything you look forward to? Dreams? What inspires passion within you in your life?

>>744624790
it makes me a bit happy that lord kek is on my side
>>744625029
i dont even know what i need.
mostly, i just wish i was dead every day.

>>744623024
Really good stuff, music anon.

Thanks for contributing to the life pool.

>>744625143
I always have more if you need anything, I'll probably still be in this thread until it dies

>>744625029
I'm trying not to...us being friends is sort of a delicate thing but....idk if I'm reading too much into it or not....probably not though....everybody leaves me in the end

>>744625029
I know I need to fix my mental problems, but it is so, so, so hard. I have been dealing with depression for going on six years now, and it has only gotten worse. Fixing it feels like such a wall. Even just managing it takes so much energy.

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>>744624666
Have some Music, Demon-friend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qchPLaiKocI

>>744625029
I'm just sitting here crying I can't fucking do it. I tried to pull the trigger but my body said no. I can't do it. It isn't my time yet. I can't do it to all those I love it would break their hearts. I'm not gonna do it, I don't wanna die no more. I'm gonna try and get some help

>>744625077
i cant explain it even though im pretty smart.
i used to have so many passions, would be full of life.
now im just dead inside, even though people around me love me.
i do everything on "autopilot". and i fucking hate it.
nice dubs tho checked

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>>744625371
Words cannot express how proud of you i am right now, Anon.

>>744607941
I don't want to earn cute dresses! I want someone to want to dress me up, make me cute and force me to wear them!

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>>744625496
w-woah.

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>>744625371
I'm not one of he main guys but I'm proud of you anon, we're all behind you and want you to get better, alright?

>>744625419
Same here.

I find you really gotta force yourself to get outside the box that is your regular habits.

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>>744624790
>>744625029
>>744625077
>>744625352
thank you /b/ros.

>>744625371
Seriously, what you did must have been so hard. I am so proud that you are going to get help

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>>744625742
Ten-four good buddy.

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>>744624493
Sorry, previous post hit character limit. Do you have Discord, or email? It might be more convenient for us to discuss this there.

>>744624788
That's pretty worrying, Anon. You don't feel secure around her. Your subconscious recognizes her as a threat. Where could you possibly move out to? Could you co-rent an apartment with some other students? Is there a friend you could stay with for a while?

>>744624817
Thank you, Anon. I'm sure your hair looks pretty good too.

>>744625098
Not a terribly healthy thing to wish. I think you need a sense of purpose, Anon. Something to care about.

>>744625271
You're reading too much into it. Why do they leave you? It could be that they're just too busy. Do you stop texting them back because you're too anxious?

>>744625335
It really is hard, Anon. And every day, it's going to get harder. You've got to do it. You have to break through this wall. It's something you need to force yourself to do.

>>744625352
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngd-wsBy6AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_VVYHAktnI

>>744625371
You got this, Anon. You're not going to die. I'm proud, and I'm glad you chose this. Get some rest, and find some help in the morning. Things will get better.

>>744625496
You want a rich sugar daddy? You're unlikely to find one on 4chan, but who knows? You might.

>>744625742
Good luck, Anon.

>>744625496
[spoiler] I'm into that too, anon [/spoiler]

>>744625440
>>744625556
Thank you both. I'm gonna hold on for as long as possible even if it fucking kills me.im gonna go to the doctor tomorrow I hope he can help. Thank you guys both :)

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>>744625822
My hair is an absolute mess sometimes.

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>>744625978
Messy hair can be pretty cute.

>>744625822
S...sometimes....but then others I'll text them and wait for a response....if I don't get one that day I'll wait a week or so....but nobody ever responds after that week period....most people just befriend me to pity me....

>>744625822
Not rich, not a daddy either. But someone who loves, cares about me and will entertain my hobbies.

>>744625822
I'd take you on any day of the week, Nasuca.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3ir9HC9vYg

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>>744626155
We'll be your friends, Anon.

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Thank you all for the help tonight, I absolutely love every single one of you for helping me through this. I'm going to sleep now, have a good night anons.

I always read through these threads and feel ashamed about letting my problems get me down when they pale in comparison to so many others here.

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>>744626269
Sleep tight good buddy.

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>>744626278
Just let it all out bro.

4 Chan folk are pretty fine folk.

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>>744626072
You think I'm cute!?

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Maybe this thread is dead by now, maybe not, but I'm in the Orlando area and bracing for the hurricane this evening at my town home by myself. It's been a few days since I've even gone outside, everything is closed and I haven't heard from either of my parents to stay safe or anything of that nature. Should I just kill myself during the storm so they attribute my death to it and are never the wiser? I feel so utterly depraved and alone.

>>744625822
It is hard. I don't think I will break the wall, but even being able to work around it would be nice. I have given up on ever truly getting better, but I can mitigate its damage and maybe feel better in the process. But it did get a whole hell of a lot harder.

It's kind of ironic actually. The past week has been one of the best I ever had, barring the past couple days. If I hadn't took things too far, I would have been doing pretty damn good right now. Now I am farther down then I have ever been before. I had never hurt myself before yesterday. I had plans to kill myself, but it was always so distant feeling. Now I get urges to just take all of my medication at once. Cut myself until I bleed out. I know I can't, but it has never been this bad

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>>744626155
Hmm. Do you have many online friends?

>>744626166
Good luck finding them. There should be plenty out there.

>>744626177
Uh, okay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knhNoBQipRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWey1DBAchM

>>744626269
Sleep well. I'll see you around.

>>744626278
Talk about them if you want, Anon. Your problems are just as important as those of the guy who almost shot himself.

>>744626487
Yeh. Very cute.

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>>744626278
Hey anon, it's not a competition, small problems for some can be really hard on others, don't let it get you down and we're always here if you want to vent, even if it's about something small or seemingly insignificant

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>>744626587
I'm considered cute!

~Cute get!~

>>744626587
No...I don't even talk to people when. I use my Xbox. Sure I have a lot of people. On my friends list but....I never actually speak with them....

>>744626565
Dude, stay alive. Don't die. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but if it is good, there is a good reason they have been prevented from contacting you.

If not, fuck em. Live for your sake, not theirs

>>744626155
Hey anon, music anon here, I'm always down to meet new people if you want to talk on discord or something

>>744626587
You say good luck, but I don't know where to start looking.

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>>744626587
Good lord do i ever love A-ha.

Music is the only good thing left in my life.

Nothing compares to it. Nothing loves me as much as my music does- and I love my music more than life itself.

Thank god we have music.

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>>744625029
Nihilist, huh? Everyone likes to fixate on that bit.

I have trouble staying connected with people. I'm always so busy working out what's in my head to..... wow, I think that's it. Literally my only problem is how in my own head I am. I'm physically fit, healthy, secure, compassionate, balanced, with a strong sense of self, and passion to boot, but I'm too busy juggling all the details of it all to take in the true beauty of the moment and the world around me. That list, even, is actually a self-constructed checklist of mental faculties that are core to the ideal functioning and thriving of any animal (that only proves my point). The moral compass and strong sense of mental clarity are human-specific traits (at least to known biology) that I seem to lose grip on very easily when caught up with the details of everything.

The ideal mental state is null and void, and that is the essence of clarity and truth. It is letting the unconscious do its job by consolidating and working all of the other functions without the need for conscious effort; just like how we can breathe manually or just let it function itself.

I'm just too stubborn and prideful to see the truth sometimes.

>>744625419
That basically sounds like all of highschool for me. The dead inside feeling, lacking all passion, on autopilot. I needed to do some serious soul-searching, fasted frequently for about two months, and researched every religious and philosophical text I could find.

It started as me just wanting to stop functioning and rot away in my room, but it evolved into its own obsession after a couple weeks. I can't explain it, but it seems that the ticket out of that unfathomable, lifeless form of torment comes at a momentary glimpse when all seems lost and dead. The trouble is that those impulses can just as easily dig the hole deeper. I stuck with it until I eventually came to some kind of life changing realization that was more-or-less like someone hit a 'reset' button.

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>>744626565
Thread's still alive. Don't bother killing yourself Anon, it's not worth the trouble. There are better things to do. If an emergency does arise, you could be of great help to the people around you if you run out selflessly to help them. A man with no regard for his own life can save the lives of many others.

And in doing that, you might find enough meaning to keep you in this world.

Eh, all speculation. But Anon, really. At least get some enjoyment out of life before you end it.

>>744626573
Working around it is a viable alternative. Have you talked to a doctor or a therapist? Don't die just yet.

>>744626753
Definitely cute. Does that make you feel good?

>>744626826
Well, you've started talking to me regularly. That's a good first step. I will say that real life friendships are far more valuable than virtual ones, but an online friendship is still good. Especially if it's extremely difficult for you to find any friends in real life. I think you're still making progress, Z. It's slow, but it's there.

>>744627050
I don't know either. Trap forums? Reddit? I'm sorry, but I've never been faced with the need to find that kind of person before.

>>744627096
They are my favorite band. That's something pretty solid you've got, Anon. Music is a great good thing.

>>744627294
I....guess it's just easy with you because of the anominity of this place....no faces no physical interaction....just words on a screen

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>>744627294

Yeah.

I'll never, NEVER let go of the music.

here's some more music for the thread's consideration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6NAH_Re6KU&list=PLlstE2bN6uy1P5ZGmy9SugGzucMZj02xi&index=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ9EDUClEyo&list=PLlstE2bN6uy1P5ZGmy9SugGzucMZj02xi&index=4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JkIs37a2JE&list=PLlstE2bN6uy1P5ZGmy9SugGzucMZj02xi&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXdNnw99-Ic&list=PLlstE2bN6uy1P5ZGmy9SugGzucMZj02xi&index=27

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRjLv1L0WF8&list=PLlstE2bN6uy1P5ZGmy9SugGzucMZj02xi&index=30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUu_e1mASaM&list=PLlstE2bN6uy1P5ZGmy9SugGzucMZj02xi&index=40

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>>744627159
Do you ever meditate? I find it helps to take some time to just rest quietly and absorb the situation, and understand it.

You don't have the capacity to process everything at once. That's why we have stereotypes, and can take things for granted. It makes thinking about multiple things at once much easier. Do you see what I'm saying?

Well, I think that consciousness takes its ultimate form when it is most efficiently applied to a purpose. The intellect is best used when exercised to solve a complex problem, or appreciate an especially fine piece of music. Structure and meaning are very important.

>>744627523
That's what makes this such a good first step. Once you've gotten more confident, you'll be able to move on to more difficult situations.

>>744627662
I had not heard Sole Survivor before. Or any Blue Oyster Cult other than Don't Fear the Reaper... had no idea they had other good songs. Thanks.

>>744627662
I'll contribute as well let's hope 4chan can embed bandcamp

https://halloflor.bandcamp.com/album/in-forgotten-sleep

https://archecho.bandcamp.com/album/arch-echo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsT9ksm6zRE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juBsba8pkGQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPsvPve7nNU (Nergal best boy)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pdfn4KmPk4

>>744628006
I....I have gotten better?

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>>744625419
>>744627159
I'd like to add, because of character limit, that I would start with meditation and self-affirmations. Even by letting the mind slip away for a moment, there can be peace; peace isn't happiness, no, and it may even make you cry, but that is something and that is what counts, right? Just try to sit alone one night, when everyone is asleep or away, and just let yourself think. Don't worry about what it is, just let it all flow. What is it? Is there anything at all? What does it make you think of? Is there even a faint feeling attached? It all starts with baby steps, but maybe it will, one day, cascade into something bigger.

Also, as for the affirmations, do your best to find things that you would take pride in or be grateful that you have as a quality. You say many people love you, so surely you must have many lovable, positive qualities. It doesn't matter what it is, how little a detail, or how silly it seems, these small acts of positive self-talk create ripples in the mind that can make changes if repeated; it's just like a habit. If you cannot think of anything yourself, try to casually ask others what they like best about you and pick whatever sounds nice.

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>>744627294
I won't. I have talked to a doctor, and I have a therapist I see. I am already working toward fixing it, but this is such a major setback. Devastating even. I'll do my best to continue coming into these threads with updates. Probably going to drink to forget tomorrow night, and probably the next too. I know it is unhealthy, but I just need to not deal with this for a bit. For now, I'm heading off to bed. Night, and thanks for talking. You are a really awesome person

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>>744628060
Pretty sweet tunes, Anon. Thank you.

>>744628226
Yes. You're improving, Z. Not a ton, but some.

>>744628243
Yeah, that aligns pretty closely with my thinking on meditation.

>>744628331
Good. It's not devastating; you're recovering now. But it sure is hard. You don't need to update us, but I'd like to hear from you if you could. Hey, drinking isn't so bad as long as you don't do it too often. I hear it's a good idea to keep it down to a case a week.

Sleep well, Anon. I hope you feel a little better in the morning.

Thank you. Sometimes I try.

>>744628593
I...I guess I have you to thank for it....uhm
..I....thanks...

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>>744628676
It's not me that's doing it, Z. It's you. And you've still got a long ways to go. Congratulate yourself now, and keep moving. Keep making little steps in the right direction.

>>744628824
I...don't. Feel like. I'm the one doing it. Though....I'd never be able to convince myself to make the steps I've made

>>744628593
talking about music always calms me down even when it was the root of my problems earlier
I love me some prog instrumental stuff, CHON is one of my favourites and I've recently got into Arch Echo

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>>744628958
I might've convinced you, but you're the one who took those steps Z, and you can't deny that.

>>744629056
I'm liking Arch Echo a lot. Listening to Hip Dipper right now, it's nice stuff.

>>744629202
Polyphia is a really similar band to them, specifically their first album

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv7Hyz4hqm0

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>>744629285
I'm impressed. I like that too. Reminds me of this band, actually: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqQ4X7HI32I

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>>744628006
I meditate pretty often, though less than I'd like to. I do it, formally and properly about once a day, but most other times I just use cannabis as a substitute; a foolish decision, I know, and I am trying to cut it down until I can disassociate it from meditation. Though, even when completely sober, I tend to overlook important details as extraneous when meditating, which bites me in the ass with the. now famous, "I saw that coming" slap in the face.

I don't know, marijuana is like alcohol to me: it is enjoyable, but I can just get drunk or high off of my own mentality, so why don't I do it that way? Though I do enjoy it freely on occasions. At least that is how I see it, though smoking is a bad habit for me because it is so easy to do as a momentary escape from depression and anxiety (when I should be properly meditating instead).

Also I see consciousness the same way. The unconscious is always at work, and the more complex and passion-driven a task you assign it, the more you get out of it. That is why I stopped playing video games and want to cut out weed completely, because my mind has been so fixated on self-sufficiency and optimization that my insistence on doing the opposite is starting to drive me mad. I've used too many things to fill voids in my life; I need to let those voids remain as they are, gaze into that abyss, and let it echo back and shake me to the core in order to make way for authentic passion to take its place.

I know, to a lesser degree, what I need to do, but I tend to blind myself to that instinct and seek a more convenient way out. That is why I think I need to cut out all the things I used as escapes, so that instinct has nowhere else to hide.

I need you Andy, I miss you so much :c

>>744629202
Still....thanks for listening....I'm gonna try to get some sleep now....thanks again for another night

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>>744629621
Anytime, Z. And if there isn't a thread up, email me or message me on Discord.