itt : autistic stories from childhood oc rolling in here >be

>>744260425
being called a cuck for not winning a fight? are those motherfuckers stupid that doesn't even make sense.

>be me
>4-ish
>living room has curtains
>watching some to quality anime
>go diego go
>op has diego swinging in on vine
>"i wanna be diego"
>go to curtains
>grab on
>jump
>dis gun be gud
>curtain rod breaks under weight
>steel curtain rod and curtains fall to ground at mach 10
>CRASH.mp3
>got ass beat
>never finished my episode of go diego go

>>744261047
kek'd

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Probably not that interesting but the most autistic thing I remember doing as a kid

>be me
>abt 9-10
>huge fuckin nerd
>don't have many friends, but hang out with a couple older kids who got held back in school
>always trying to impress them
>usually ends up annoying them or just looking like a little shit
>hear them talking about some homemade fireworks they were going to mess around with
>greatidea.pdf
>fast forward a couple hours after school
>at the shops with parents
>grab a shit ton of sparklers
>tell them it's for a friend's birthday party or something
>get home with five big boxes of sparklers
>scrape off all the grey powdery shit off
>dump it all in a tupperware container and stick a bit of string in there
>douse the top of the powder with lighter fluid for good measure
>empty half the little can into the damn thing
>dumb kid brain thinking 'more must be better right?'
>seal tupperware container and stick it in school bag
>next day at school
>find older kids in their usual quiet spot behind a gym equipment shed
>tell them I had something really cool to show them
>pull my own homemade 'firework' out of bag
>open up the container and put it on the ground
>older kids and a couple of other people that hang around with them all looking down at this tupperware container full of grey mush and a bit of string
>light a match and drop it in
>bigmistake.png
>mfw I just accidentally flashbanged myself and four other people and started a minor fire

>be me
>first grade
>Girl chases me all around the playground
>dont know why
>mom tells me she prob likes me
>Start being stand offish towards girl because cooties
>girl starts disliking me
>does not want to be friends
>grows up to be really popular 9/10
>I grow up to be a beta cuck

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>>744261875

>>744261875
that was actually bretty kewl :DD

>>744260425
>me be
>kindergarten or 1st grade, forgot which
>have chink racist teacher and a chink kid in my class
>chink kid would always get extra attention and favoritism, but he's still friendly ish
>talk to chink kid one day
>accidentally spit while talking
"Ew you spit on me"
>bitch beside chink kid yells that I spit on chink teacher's favorite chink student
>picks me up and yells at me for spitting on chink kid
>tells me to apologize
>now in college
>regret not telling parents about teacher before we moved various times
>everyone I fuck chink bitches I headlock them now

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>be me
>6 years old first grade
>"Hey anon, I dare you to jump out at someone and say 'me chinese me make joke me peepee in your coke'"
>thats stupid
>"give you 5 dollars"
>okay.jpg
>schools out, hide be hind fence
>jump out, squint eyes "me chinese, me make joke, me peepee in your coke
>MFW I jumped out at Chinese cupple taking their kindagarden kid home
>MFW They grab me, and take me to my teacher, and I get in trouble
>MFW I didnt get my 5 bucks

>be about 5 or 6
>Not know jackshit about race so I'm happily friends with the inside neighbor girl a couple years older than me
>One day we're playing outside with rocks
>Decide I want to throw a rock at her face
>Without warning Chuck big ass rock at abneeds forehead
>Instant blood rushing out
>Shit my pants
>Run home screaming to mom and dad
>I get grounded she gets stitches

Still don't know what made me do that

>>744264265
everyone knows bitches get stitches

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alright fuck it

>be me
>4-6 yo
>kindergarden unlocked fuck yeah
>gets dropped off by mom
>she leaves
>realise im alone in the world
>instantregret.jpg
>execute calmdown.exe
>execute mainobjective.exe
>Main objective: play in kindergarden
>with newfound purpose, I start to explore
>quickly find huge ass pillow room
>basically a gym with things out
>good enough for me
>enter the area, stealth to the max
>spys other kids playing
>shy meter enters redzone
>decide to kakashi what they are doing rather than ask if I can join
>the fuckers are jumping onto a matress, from a higher place
>gears grind
>prodigychild over here, 2 smaller pillows = matress, pic related = highest of places
>i proceed with my master plan
>shove to pillows together for larger surface area
>begin climbing
>halfway up, the height from which the other faggots were jumping from
>not gonna be a pussy
>to the top
>after next to no consideration, and faithfull trust in my perfect master plan, i jump
>pillows split appart
>instantly breaks one foot
keep in mind this happend in a 10 min span as my mom was going to talk about having me enter the place
>mom & worker comes rushing in
>faster than Barry and Thawne
>mom sees me, looks to worker
>itachi's mangekyou sharingan
>picks me up
>next stop hospital
and thats the story of my first day in the kindergarden that did not get to be my kindergarden

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>be me
>grade 3
>live near school
>play on playground after school a lot
>school just upgraded all of the playground equipment
>replaced awesome metal equipment for shitty plastic safety shit
>bring Sharpies one day, idk why
>start to draw on everything, just randomness
>Sharpie behind me has I go down the slide
>Teacher going to car after school sees me
>Reports me
>Give name/info to her like a dumbass kid

>Next day, principal calls me to office
>wtf.jpg
>whyyoudothis.gif
>"well there were these older kids..."
>"... they made me do it. I was scared."
>Alright, whatthefuck ever, get out of my office
>Never got in trouble or heard about it again
>Someone must have been hired to clean it all up
>Don't feel bad about it
>Took away my good playground equipment, you fuckers

>>744264532
Lord have mercy LOL

>be 4 year old me
>be rad
>have rad cars that are like 1/4 the size of me
>have entire basement as racetrack except carpeted middle
>race like a speed demon
>hit carpet with cars
>cars stop, I keep going
>hit face into cement floor, right on my teeth
>teeth jammed into my jaw so far they die, become grey
>Go to dentist (Dr. Wild, actually his real name)
>dude was nuts, gives me 4 numbing needles
>pulls my teeth out with basic plyers
>I become front teethless scrub for next 4 years

Race was good though. Right car won.

>>744260425
>be me
> 4years old
>wandering around outside
>find intact shotgun shell
>stick in dirt face down
>hit back of it numerous times with hammer to see it shoot

Ok, I'll tell a story.

>Be me
>13 yrs old
>have a birthday sleepover with friends
>I start to pants people as a joke
>They pants me back
>Their pants cause not just my pants but my underwear to go down
>dont pull my pants back up
>walk around with my dick hanging out for a couple seconds
>"anon, come over"
>we start taking pics of my dick and a 10 yr old friend who was also there
>I get the nickname slinky and he gets the nickname twinky for our respective dick
>still embarrassed by this

I did a lot of gay shit when I was a teenager like sitting on the lap of my best friend for the entirety of a fireworks show when the grass was a viable option so I don't know why I'm, embarrassed by this.